Hullo. Here's a new AU fanfic from me to you. It may be Freakier than The Rift, if you've read that one...

I don't own Glee. I only own the characters you may not recognize. A Story Alert may be quite continental, but Reviews are a girl's best friend.


1 – Magic

"You ready?" Blaine asked, holding out his hand.

Kurt wasn't expecting Mr. Short, Dark and Handsome to come pick him up for school shopping riding a bloody broomstick.

Then again, his whole family wasn't expecting that Dalton was actually a school for warlocks. But once the Headmistress had done some hocus pocus, written out a letter for Kurt with a quill she wasn't actually holding, Burt's eyes blinked at what he was witnessing. But seeing was believing, and this place had that anti-bullying clause in the handbook, so he allowed his son to go to school to learn magic… as well as everything else: French, English, Science, Math. It just so happened that the one science class this year was Astronomy, and Kurt would also be in a Spells class, his health class was akin to a Potions class, and he would be rooming with someone who was probably better at it all than Kurt was… right now, at least.

"My brother's going to be a wizard!" Finn had cried, watching as Kurt pointed his finger at him in anger and accidently knocked a stack of papers off his desk.

"Warlock," both Kurt and Burt replied in tandem.

Finn simply cleared his throat and then flashed a brilliant smile, pulling Kurt into a bone-crushing hug, "You may not be at McKinley, but you are going somewhere much cooler."

Kurt looked back at his room. "Hold on."

He ran to the door, opened it, and yelled, "Dad! Something else you have to get used to? People picking me up on broomsticks!"

Burt thundered up the stairs and grinned at Blaine. For some odd reason, Blaine could charm the pants off anyone, even people's fathers. Not that he would charm the pants off anyone. He was too much of a gentleman.

"It'll take some getting used to, but I'm sure Blaine's a safe… rider," Burt replied, waving the two off.


Blaine and Kurt touched down on an empty street, and Blaine began looking around the small town they were in. It looked like a suburb of Westerville, if that was even possible. Blaine finally tapped a broken light pole with his wand, and a subway entrance appeared out of nowhere. He beckoned Kurt to follow him down, and Kurt made a disgusted face. "From flying a broomstick with an invisible spell on us to riding the subway?"

Blaine laughed, "There is much to teach you, young Hummel," he replied, laughing jovially. He held out his hand, "Just trust me. You're going to love D's Department Store."

Kurt made another face, but took Blaine's hand. And Blaine took off in a run down the steps… and Kurt was indeed impressed.

They went through a tiny door, so small that they both ducked. With the street behind them, they entered another world. It was just like any other department store, only the shoppers were obviously Dalton boys (even in common clothes, they had a Freaky Vibe going around them), and the door that they came in to was part of a wall that seemed to look directly at the street they just got off of. Kurt's mouth was a small 'o' as he looked around, seeing the section of wands right next to them, as well as everything else.

"All right… you'll need a couple of uniforms, a wand, a broomstick, mortar and pestle…" Blaine took the folded list from Kurt's clenched hand and looked it over, grabbing a plastic basket and starting to fill it.

"Don't we need a cart for all of that?" Kurt asked, shaken out of his initial shock by Blaine absentmindedly dragging him deeper into the store.

Blaine looked up from the list and raised a dark eyebrow, "Kurt… you're part of a magical system now. This basket is enchanted to hold all this stuff, and you're not taking up a whole lot of space like Mundies do in their stores."

"And Mundies are—"

"—non-magical people," Blaine replied, putting up a pair of pants and a jacket in front of Kurt, judging his uniform size before slipping them in the basket. "As in 'mundane.' It's just a historical thing that pure-blooded warlocks learn."

"You're pure-blooded?" Kurt asked.

"No… half-blooded. My dad's pure-blooded, so I learned it from him," Blaine replied, "And I've never heard of a Hummel, so you must either have a witch as your mother, or you're a Mundy-born," Blaine replied.

He handed Kurt a wand before Kurt could ask anymore questions about the matter.

"What… am I supposed to do?"

"Oh, right… newbie," Blaine replied. He tapped the card next to the rows of wands.

"Biscuits and Gravy?" Kurt asked, "What kind of spell is that?" he asked.

But he should have just stayed quiet, for the wand started sparking red light after utterance of the first set of words.

Blaine quickly took the wand away. "It's a red herring here. You say any words with the wand and it'll tell you whether it's a match—green sparks—or not—red sparks. The 'magic words' change every week. This manager must have a strange food obsession. My words was 'Twinkie Time.'" Blaine laughed a little, causing Kurt to chuckle lightly.

Blaine kept handing him wands, and Kurt would say the 'magic words' until they finally found a right match for Kurt, to which Blaine put it in the basket and they continued on.

"Do warlocks have pets?" Kurt asked, once they were nearing the end of the list. All they needed was Kurt's broom.

"They can. But you won't want one. I'm sure your neighbors will suffice," Blaine replied.

"What?"

"Oh… you're in my hall. I know everyone. I may be on the third floor and you on the second, but I know your roommate, and I know the two across from you. Look out for any stray hairballs that might have made it into the hall," Blaine replied, grinning secretively.

Kurt worried what that might entail, but Blaine was about to pay for his supplies when Kurt butted in. "My supplies, Blaine…" he said, a slight warning his voice.


Move-in day was that Friday. Kurt could have a few days to move in and get settled before he started classes on Monday. He hoped he would get into the Warblers, but he might have to focus on getting the hang of Spells class and the Health class (any science class that needed a mortar a pestle was serious business).

So when Burt, Carole and Finn showed up with his boxes just as Kurt was sticking his keys in the lock (only to find out later it was open), he was generally pleased that they had taken time off work and school to do so.

After saying hello and declining help from Wes and David (also in the same hall as Kurt), he got the door open, only to find a slumped body had been keeping him from opening it.

"Oh my god!" Carole shouted, going to help the boy.

He was very small. He looked like he was eleven instead of a junior like his transcript said. He was Pavel Ivanovich Tsarevna, a Russian-born, from the looks of him. As soon as Carole touched him, his adorable grey eyes blinked open and he looked up at her, suddenly up in a flash and tripping over the empty bed.

"Sorry!" he said, the Russian accent apparent in his high voice, "I was trying to get the door open, but I tripped over something on the way to the door and knocked my head pretty hard…"

Kurt looked to find nothing on the floor that could have tripped the poor boy. Also that half the room was covered in what looked like pillows. They were smart to do that, as the Russian boy had band-aids on his face and exposed skin, and he was bruised as much as he was bandaged.

Carole glanced at Burt, who was setting boxes down with Finn.

"Kurt Hummel," Kurt said, putting out his hand.

"Pavel Tsarevna," the boy replied, "You can call me Pasha, since we're living together this year…"

Pavel's hand was warm to touch, and his smile was contagious. Kurt knew he and Pavel would be good friends, even if the other was as accident-prone as he was.

Soon Carole and Kurt had Kurt's side set up. Pavel was in awe of Kurt's wardrobe, as he brought about half of it from home. Pavel said that on weekends the students could wear whatever they wanted, but also that most went home if they could. Kurt promised he would visit his family as often as he could, but he would probably be playing catch-up for a couple of weeks.

Pavel promised he would help as much as possible, even though he had had to buy a new wand every other week now. Burt put a hand on Kurt's shoulder as they walked down the hall and to the parking lot.

"You stay safe, now. I read Harry Potter, so you call if there's one inkling of trouble, okay?" Burt asked.

Kurt wondered when someone would mentioned the Boy Who Lived…


On Saturday night Kurt was lounging on his bed when he heard a knock on the door. Pavel was doing some homework at his desk and got up to get it when Kurt remembered his roommate's clumsiness and ran for the door before Pavel could do any harm to the door or himself.

Blaine was at the door, his arms crossed. He was holding a fob watch—a rather English looking one at that—but Kurt didn't really notice it. "The rest of the hall wants to meet you. The study room is decorated for your arrival, so… without the guest of honor, there is no real reason for the hall to be congregated there, right?" he asked. He peered in the room, "Pav, you come too…"

Pavel walked forward, and Kurt watched in awe as Pavel managed not to kill himself as the three wandered down the hall, down the steps, and into a rather dark room. The lights were suddenly turned on, and a crowd of people pounced upon the three. Pavel was soon whisked off into the crowd as people lined up to shake Kurt's hand.

Blaine chuckled and went off to find something to drink for them both, and Kurt was stuck shaking hands and learning names.

Suddenly, though, two people put their arms around his shoulders. "Here's our across-the-way neighbor," one said.

Kurt looked up at them both and thought he was just looking into a mirror. The two in question were identical twins with dark, curly hair. Their eyes were yellow-green, though, like cats' eyes. They were dressed identically in red sweaters and jeans, with their wands tucked behind their ears.

"Hello, Kurt Hummel. I'm Oliver McDoile and this is my brother Jeremy," one said in a Cockney accent. Obviously people from around the world came to Dalton. Maybe because Hogwarts wasn't actually real.

"Shut up, Jeremy, I'm Oliver," the other said, a little peeved at his brother.

Blaine came back with two cups of water. He shook his head, "Kurt, I see you've met the McDoile twins. You know Oliver because he's less flirty with the boys. How's Andulata, Olly?"

"Just fine, Blaine my man," Oliver replied, removing his arm from Kurt's shoulder. Then to Kurt, "I'm Oliver, the straight twin—"

Jeremy removed his arm next, turning to face the new kid, "—And I'm Jeremy, the gay twin," he replied.

Then they came together, looking more alike than anything. Kurt almost forgot which was which, "But otherwise you'll never tell the difference," the twins said in unison. Then they clapped Kurt simultaneously on the arms and sped off into the crowd.

Pavel found them again, looking after the mischievous twins and shaking his head, managing to choke on a fly as it flew into his open mouth. After recovery (in which Kurt almost had to do the Heimlich) he said, "I see you met our across-the-way neighbors," he said.

"Creepy twins," Kurt pointed out, nodding slowly.

"You get used to them," Blaine replied, "Just like you'll get used to everything else about this school."


Coming Up: There are all sorts of things Kurt must learn about a school for Warlocks. But he wasn't expecting students turning into animals and the straight twin's girlfriend being more Freaky than anyone else in Kurt's new circle...