I don't know how long I was up in the room I slowly recognised as the suite where we'd stayed during the games. Food would appear along with new outfits.
No one came to visit. No one told me if Peeta was okay or if he had died.
Eventually I lost track of everything. My mind was numb. I walked around doing meaningless things. And one day I found myself singing. Once I started I just couldn't stop. It was as if I had busted a damn. But all the songs, I sung for Peeta. He was always there in the back of my mind.
But still no one comes. A thought forms itself in my head and I can't block it out.
Peeta is dead. Peeta is dead and I would eventually, when they bloody well got their asses into gear and finished the trials, would be executed. If Peeta was dead then I guess it didn't seem too bad. But I hated it that my death would be their privilege to take yet again. As I looked around I saw that there was nothing for me to kill myself with.
To me, no matter what happened, death was the best option here.
What else did I have to live for? My mother and Prim? There would come a time when they wouldn't need me. And who would want a sister or a daughter like me anyway. They would be ashamed… I was the girl who killed the new President of Panem.
It occurred to me that I was probably half insane at this point.
I had lost count of the days when Haymitch walked into my room.
"Come on, your trials over. Time to go home." He led the way out.
"So I'm not being executed?" I ask following him.
"Ha! You wish!" he laughs.
"Yes I do," I mutter and he looks at me sharply. "Is Peeta alive?" I ask as he loads me onto a helicopter. He doesn't reply.
Instead I am met by an overjoyed Plutarch.
"Katniss!" he cries. "I expect you want to know everything that happened." I don't really but that doesn't stop him from telling me anyway.
He tells me how after I shot Coin and Snow, Paylor had taken over as president. Gale had told everyone I had acted in self defence shooting Coin. But not may people other than my loyal supporters believed him. But after much searching they had found a hidden camera in the room which proved my 'innocence'.
When you had killed as many as I had, there was no such thing as innocence anymore.
He told me everything… everything but the one thing I actually wanted to hear. He didn't say one word about Peeta.
But I was quickly taken off that thought with what he told me next.
The two loud bangs I had heard were explosions. A trap of sorts that had killed many Capitol children. And when the first bomb went off others had come in to help… including my sister… then another set went off.
Prim was dead.
I was numb. I was only vaguely aware of the tears running down my cheeks. I know that trap, I had heard Gale talking about it. This was his fault… well it was Coins, but it was still his idea. I would never forget that.
We arrive at District 12 which makes no sense to me since it was destroyed. But they lead me down to the only houses left standing. The Victor's Village. There waiting for me is an alive, healthy looking Peeta.
I run and throw myself into his arms.
I was going to be hard. I was damaged and mostly broken. It would take years to get over the damage the Capitol, the rebellion, the war had done to me… and to him.
We still had a very, very long way to go. But we would get there eventually… together.