Title: Problems without Solutions
Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Hibari, Ryohei, Hibird, Kusakabe, Kyoko and anyone else in this story © Akira Amano
Notes: Not that much to say, really, apart from thank you everyone for faving and reviewing my stories. I'm really glad that so many people are enjoying them. This is probably my first chance talking to everyone, so I just wanted to thank everyone. I hope you all enjoy this story and I'm sorry if Hibari and Ryohei are out of character/I make anyone really depressed with this.
Problems without Solutions
In the end, it didn't matter.
He knew what he'd done the moment he closed the door.
This wasn't where he wanted to be.
It had to be done.
It wasn't as if anyone got hurt.
He forced that thought to a halt, not wanting to consider how his actions affected the other. He couldn't, not if he didn't want to regret what he had done.
I had to do it. It was better for the both of us.
Closing his eyes, he let his head sink into his hands, lips pursed together in a vain attempt to be silent. Why was this so hard? Surely, he shouldn't be feeling this awful.
If I'm feeling like this, then it must be so much worse for him.
How many days had it been now? Three? Four? Then why wasn't the pain getting any better? Everything just hurt now. Even things that weren't related to him created a horrible ache in his chest. At one point, he had actually considered not going to school.
If he was a herbivore, he would have gotten help days ago.
A light fluttering noise reached his ears as the little yellow bird landed in front of the sitting prefect. Opening his eyes, he looked down at the small mass of feathers.
"Hibari! Hibari!" It chirped, looking up at it's master. In reply, Hibari extended a hand towards the bird, allowing it to hop up onto his finger. Drawing his hand back, Hibari began stroking the top of Hibird's head, absentmindedly listening to the chirping. He usually enjoyed listening to the little bird's music, but now he just found it an uncomfortable distraction.
We both liked the music…
"Hibari!" The little voice next to his ear told the prefect that, while he had been thinking, Hibird had flown up onto his shoulder. Turning his head a little, his tired blue eyes landed on the small figure. "Happy?"
Just seeing the little, innocent bird tweet that small, insignificant, stupid stupid stupid word made Hibari's heart clench painfully in his chest. It wasn't Hibird's fault. It wasn't even the word's fault that the prefect was feeling that lump in his throat and his eyes watering again.
"… No, not happy…" Hibari whispered, his voice cracked as he put his head into his hands again, biting his lip as tears flowed down his cheeks.
It wasn't his fault. It was that stupid boxer.
Turning his head towards the window, Kusakabe watched Hibari gaze outside in silence. To anyone else, the head prefect would be acting normal. It wasn't unnatural to find him staring out of a window for hours on end. However, only Kusakabe could tell that Hibari was just looking and not really seeing anything. He had been like this for a week now, just silent and unresponsive. He still performed his prefect duties exactly as before, which Kusakabe was relieved to hear. However, and it was this thought that worried him the most, Hibari acted the same way for form's sake only. He did all the paperwork that he needed to do, he beat up any delinquents that needed disciplining, he slept on the roof, he patrolled the school and he looked out of windows all because he thought he had to. To the others, nothing was wrong, but to Kusakabe, he could see that all Hibari wanted to do was forget about his duties and just break down.
Kusakabe hoped he was wrong. But he knew that, deep down, he was dead right.
"… Kyo-san?" He finally spoke out, watching Hibari carefully. He didn't reply, just continued to 'look' out of the window. Kusakabe took this as a cue to continue. "Is everything alright? You don't seem yourself."
Hibari remained silent, showing no sign of actually hearing what Kusakabe said. The only sounds were the bustle of students going to their lessons. He sighed a little, dragging his eyes away from Hibari to a corner of the room, trying to think of a way to break the prefect out of his trance.
"… Is it him?"
That provoked a reaction. Hibari jerked away from the window, as if he had just been stabbed, turning his head to look at Kusakabe. He kept his eyes to the corner of the room. He didn't know what expression Hibari had on his face, and he didn't want to know.
"Kyo-san…" Kusakabe sighed. "I know it's hard, but you need to stop this. What happened happened and you can't do anything about it."
Hibari had turned back to the window, ignoring what Kusakabe was saying. That was something he did now, just block whatever someone was saying until they stopped, realising it was futile. But Kusakabe needed to tell him this, whether he liked it or not.
"I know this won't interfere with your duties, but you haven't been acting like your usual self. People are going to start worrying about you. If it's really bothering you, Kyo-san, maybe you should talk to him-"
"No." Kusakabe looked up at the sound, surprised that he actually got a response. "I'm not going to talk to him."
"Enough." Hibari snapped, his head whipping around to glare at Kusakabe. That look always told the second-in-command to be quiet.
Usually, it was the intense ferocity the steel grey eyes held that silenced him.
Now it was just overwhelming sorrow.
It must have been the fifth of sixth time that week that she heard the front door slam open, close quietly and footsteps heading straight upstairs. Sighing to herself, the woman contemplated whether or not to follow the source of the noise. Setting down the cloth in head hands, she slowly walked upstairs towards her son's room.
"Kyoya?" She called out. The sound of movement behind the door ceased at the mother's voice. She waited for a reply. None came.
"Kyoya? Is everything alright? Your father and I are getting worried." She continued. Resting a hand on the door handle, she tugged it to try and get inside the room. It was locked.
"Kyoya, open the door. Whatever it is, we can help you." His mother continued, knocking gently on the door. A hand touched the woman's shoulder, making her turn around. Her husband shook his head, guiding the woman away.
Even with the father's voice talking to her, the mother could still hear the stifled cries of their son.
"Let's break up."
"It was fun while it lasted, but it's time to finish this."
"Don't make this any harder than it already is…"
"Is it me? Is it something I've done?"
"No, just listen-"
"No! I'm not going to listen! Why do you want to break up? Is there someone else?"
"Of course not. You know I wouldn't have."
"But… I don't want you to leave… I lo-"
"Don't say that."
"But it's true! I love-"
"No! That's how I feel about you! That's why I don't want to break up!"
"Well, I do! I don't want to be with you anymore!"
"I've had enough. I'm leaving."
The student reached out, grabbing Ryohei's shoulder and giving it a little shake, jolting the boxer from his daze.
"Eh? Oh, yeah?" Ryohei asked, facing him.
""Well, it's probably nothing, Sasagawa-senpai, but everyone from the boxing club was wondering… Are you okay?" The student asked, rubbing the back of his beck nervously.
"Don't worry, I'm extremely okay!" Ryohei said, grinning at his fellow boxing club member.
"A-Alright then, Sasagawa-senpai! Sorry to have disturbed you!" The student waved and ran off back to his friends, assuring them that their Senpai was alright.
They didn't see the smile leave his face. Or hear the heavy sigh that followed.
Looking up at her older brother, Kyoko couldn't help but feel her stomach twist in worry. This had been going on for about two weeks and she thought that; maybe, things would start to get better. Ryohei had told Kyoko what had happened, how Hibari had dumped him for seemingly no reason. She had tried her best to comfort her older brother, but there was only so much she could do.
"… Onii-chan?" Kyoko finally spoke up, disrupting the boxer from his thoughts.
"Huh?" Ryohei looked down at Kyoko. "Yeah, Kyoko?"
"You were spacing out again, Onii-chan." She said with a hint of worry in her voice.
"Oh, was I? Heh, sorry, to the extreme." Ryohei apologised, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was just thinking…"
"About Hibari-san again?" Kyoko asked, even though she already knew the answer to her question. Her brother was always thinking these days, and it was always the same person.
"Y-Yeah…" Ryohei nodded, the slight smile dropping off his face.
Kyoko nodded too. Even though she didn't know from experience, she knew how hard this was for her brother. She had seen the usual heartbreak on television shows, but she could tell that Ryohei was taking this badly. He was trying his best to pretend that things were normal. He kept up his training and still proclaimed things were 'extreme'. He still talked to Tsuna and everyone and still kept up the image of his usual self. But, every now and then, Kyoko would see Ryohei just sit at his desk and not move, as if he was deep in thought, or he would see something and this look would wash over his face, like he was in an indescribable kind of pain and there was nothing he could do about it. Sometimes at home, he would look at the work school had given his for that day and would sigh heavily. Kyoko knew that, occasionally, Hibari would help her brother with his homework, either showing him how to solve a certain problem or just reading over his shoulder. Now, he just didn't do any work.
However, none of these things could add up to make the same amount of grief Ryohei felt than when he saw the prefect himself. Occasionally, the two would spot each other in the corridor, or during class, and Kyoko knew that her brother wanted nothing more than to go up and talk to him. But he keeps quiet. For who's sake, she doesn't know.
"Onii-chan, I think you should talk to Hibari-san." Kyoko said, looking at her brother carefully, her heart giving a painful tug when she saw Ryohei wince at the name. "I know it might be hard, but you should try to settle things with him."
"Yeah, I know… It's just extremely confusing." Ryohei sighed, securing his schoolbag on his shoulder. "It's just weird… Why did he leave me?"
"I don't know, onii-chan. You should ask him." Kyoko said gently, smiling a little in reassurance.
"… Yeah, I should. Thanks, Kyoko." Ryohei grinned at his little sister, this one looking slightly more genuine than the other smiles he had faked before. "I'll talk to him later. After school, to the extreme."
It had seemed easier when he was talking to Kyoko, but now that he was standing outside of the reception room, raised fist a few inches away from the door, Ryohei remembered just how hard it was. It was almost unbearable to even look at the prefect, let alone talk to him. Ever since that day, two weeks ago, they couldn't even be in the same room as each other before on left, leaving the other feeling terrible. But, he had told Kyoko that he would talk to Hibari, so that would be what he would do, no matter how extremely hard it was. Taking a deep breath and steeling himself from the flood of emotions that was sure to come, Ryohei knocked on the door, listening to the deafening silence that followed. He was sure that Hibari was in the reception room. Ryohei had already glanced around the roof for a fraction of a second before he quickly sprinted away. He hadn't spotted Hibari in the corridors as he looked around, so the only place he could be was here.
Ryohei waited for a few more minutes before knocking again.
"Hibari? Are you in there?" He called out, watching the door. He heard a quiet intake of breath before there was silence again. Ryohei bit his lip, knowing who that person was. "Hibari? I want to talk to you."
There was a slight noise that sounded like footsteps walking away from the door. Ryohei frowned at this. If that person was Hibari and he was moving away, that could have meant that he was about to open the door. Clenching his fists, he knocked on the door again, this time louder.
"Hibari, I know you're extremely in there! Let me in!" He yelled through the door, grabbing the handle to try and pull it open. As he guessed, it was locked. "Please, Hibari! Open the door!"
"No." A quiet voice came from inside the room, a voice that Ryohei had missed dearly. "Go away."
"I can't do that, Hibari. I told Kyoko that I'd talk to you." Ryohei said, one of his hands pressed against the door that separated them, as if trying to get closer to the little body.
There was silence in the room again, and Ryohei sighed, wishing desperately that the door wasn't in the way so he could grab hold of the prefect and never let go.
So when he heard the lock click and the door slowly slide open a little, he was more than just slightly shocked.
Peering through the door at the boxer standing outside, Hibari finally appeared in front of Ryohei, after two weeks of awkward atmospheres and heartbroken feelings. They hadn't been this close to each other in what felt like forever. Just the sight of his little skylark was enough to pull mournfully at his heartstrings.
No… Not mine. Not anymore… He thought, becoming overwhelmed with sorrow.
From the little he could see, Ryohei could tell Hibari was far worse off than he was. It was just little things, like his hair being slightly messier than usual, and the dulled annoyance in his eyes that added together to make a person who was spiralling downwards.
At that moment, Ryohei wanted nothing more than to pull him into and embrace and keep him there.
"What do you want?" The cold, slightly hoarse voice broke the boxer from his thoughts, dragging his eyes up to look into the skylark's.
"I…" Words escaped Ryohei, the reason why he was even trying to talk to Hibari leaving him instantly.
After a minute of standing around awkwardly, the prefect moved to close the door.
"Wait." Ryohei stuck a foot in between the door and the frame, grabbing it with his hand and pushing it open, taking a step into the room. He was going to extremely sort this out, one way or another.
Hibari took a few steps back from Ryohei when he saw him enter the room, hands quickly slipping inside his jacket to brush along the cold steel of his tonfas.
"Stay there." He told Ryohei, knowing very well that the boxer would have continued walking towards him until they were touching.
Ryohei stopped, respecting Hibari's demand for distance. Now able to see the whole body of the prefect, he couldn't help but feel worry lace in his stomach as he noticed how much thinner he seemed.
"Hibari… I just want to know why…" He said quietly, watching him avert his eyes to a corner of the dimly lit room. Had Hibari been sitting in this darkness all day?
"I told you why. I don't want to be with you anymore." Was the muttered reply he got.
"We both know that isn't extremely true." Ryohei told him, the urge to hug the skylark growing stronger.
"That was the reason I gave you. If you don't like it, tough." Hibari snapped, frowning at a wall.
"Hibari… Please, I'll leave you alone if you just tell me. I need to know." Ryohei knew he was starting to act desperate, but he couldn't help it. This had gone on for far too long for any sort of rational thought to have a say.
"I told you my reason. We've talked. Leave." Hibari muttered, turning away from Ryohei, his back facing the boxer.
He couldn't help it then. The urge overpowered him, forcing him to take the couple of strides needed to close the gap between the two. Hibari had turned around a little when he heard the footsteps getting louder, before his senses were invaded by Ryohei. The boxer wrapped his arms around the body he had missed so much, breathing in the prefect's scent as he embraced him.
Hug me back…
"I… I'm sorry, Hibari… I can't help it." Ryohei muttered to the still person in his arms. "Even if you tell me to leave, I can't…"
"R… Ryohei…" The prefect whispered, and Ryohei couldn't help but notice the very slight tremble in his voice. It only made his arms around Hibari tighten.
"What's the matter, Hibari?" Ryohei asked quietly, whispering in his ear. He felt the prefect shake his head more than he saw it.
"Don't…" He heard Hibari murmur.
"Hibari, please tell me. Is it me? Was it my fault?" Ryohei felt the prefect shake his head again, and he couldn't help but feel despair. If the problem was Hibari, then there was nothing he could do about it.
Is it…? Are you scared, Hibari? Are you scared of what will happen?
Ryohei felt Hibari move a little, his arms rising. He tensed a little, waiting for the familiar feeling of a tonfa against his head. Instead, he felt the arms move behind him. Ryohei held his breath, hoping desperately that he would wrap his arms around the boxer. He felt Hibari's hands hover above his back, trying to decide whether or not to return the embrace.
Ryohei felt the body in his arms tense up as Hibari let his hands drop to his side. Everything inside him shattered.
"Go. Ry… Sasagawa, go." Hibari muttered, standing still as Ryohei let go of the skylark. Sparing one final look, he turned around, heading for the door, leaving Hibari alone in the dark room.
Sliding the door closed, a tear slid down his cheek in unison with the silent cry from the reception room of Namimori Middle School.