A/N: So I was inspired to write this when I was watching the music video for "Boyfriend" featuring Snoop Dogg. More specifically, the part where the lyrics were all, "All I really want is to be your boyfriend." Carlos kind of pops in the camera shot with Logan, and yeah…Granted, this is probably going to be more along the lines of my other stories, "Brotherly Love" and "Cover Boys" just with Cargan instead of Jagan. I hope it doesn't suck too badly, but I just wanted to write something light for a change…
Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush. I bet the boys are happy based on some of the ambiguously vague stories I write about their sexuality (albeit not their sexuality in real life…).
Role Playing Gone Wrong
Miss Collins got on the intercom and said, "For all you guys out there who don't have dates yet to the guys' choice dance, you only have a few hours left."
Logan was completely mortified. He groaned upon hearing Miss Collins' announcement. He knew who he wanted to ask; that wasn't the problem. Logan was going to ask Camille. The problem was the actual asking part. The last time he tried to ask Camille out to a dance, he failed miserably several times before finally succeeding.
Logan tried to recount all the ways he had failed before. There was him saying, "Bleep, blap, bloop," before chickening out and walking away. There was him getting caught trying to read off cue cards. There was the flying dance disc fiasco in which he knocked Camille into the pool. Then there was him repeating what James said (like he told him to do) only to end up yelling at Camille and sending her off in tears and hysterics.
What choice did Logan have though? It was a guys' choice dance! Girls can't ask guys out to guys' choice dances! Logan muttered under his breath about how this was just his luck.
Logan immediately thought about asking James for his help, but the last time he attempted to help him with this, things didn't go so well. That left Kendall or Carlos. While Kendall was the only one in a successful relationship, he wasn't in Apartment 2J at the time while Carlos was.
Out of all his best friends, Carlos was probably the one that sucked just as much if not more when it came to romancing girls. Whereas Logan was just nervous and socially awkward around girls, Carlos was himself around girls. The only problem is that most of the time, girls found Carlos to be disgusting and immature.
"Hey Carlitos, asked anyone out to the guys' choice dance yet?" Logan inquired.
"Not unless you count being shot down by the Jennifers. What about you? Have you asked Camille yet?" Carlos questioned.
"You make it sound so simple."
"Well, isn't it?"
"No! At least, not for me…"
Logan flopped down on the couch next to Carlos who was lying upside down on the back of the orange sofa. Logan sighed deeply. Carlos didn't react in the slightest. Logan tried again, sighing louder and more obnoxiously. Carlos turned to face Logan and arched his eyebrows in confusion.
"Uh Logie…why are you sighing like that?" Carlos asked.
Logan resisted the sudden urge to go bang his head on a wall. He chose not to think of Carlos as clueless. Just…naïve and somewhat…oblivious.
"You could help me! Do you want to?" Logan replied.
"How am I going to be any help?" Carlos remarked.
Logan chewed on his lip as he was deep in thought. It didn't take long at all before a light bulb went off in his head. His eyes lit up with excitement.
"You and I could role play," Logan said.
Carlos did a back somersault off the couch. Only instead of dismounting off the piece of furniture with ease, he toppled over the edge of the sofa, arms flailing wildly. In his act of desperation, he managed to grab two handfuls of Logan's t-shirt just before gravity took over. He pulled Logan down with him. Carlos let out an 'Oomph!' as the wind was knocked out of him. Due to the nature of the fall, Logan's face hovered centimeters above Carlos'.
"Uh…I'm going to the gym," Mrs. Knight announced.
Carlos shoved Logan off him in a hurry, before scrambling into a seated position on the couch. He was blushing fiercely. Meanwhile, Logan sat bewildered on the floor trying to make heads or tails of what just happened. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, refusing to make eye contact with Kendall's mom.
"That wasn't what it looked like!" Carlos exclaimed, emphatically gesturing towards Logan with his hand, nearly smacking him in the face in the process.
Mrs. Knight held her hands up innocently. "Hey, no judgment! Anyways, yeah, I think I'll go to the gym now," Mrs. Knight said.
She turned around and walked straight into the door. She laughed awkwardly before opening the door, and leaving 2J, quietly closing the door behind her.
Carlos reached over and smacked Logan in the back of his head.
"Ow!" Logan exclaimed, before returning the favor.
"This is all your fault!" Carlos remarked.
"My fault? If you had taken the fall like a man, instead of dragging me down with you, none of this would have happened!"
"Yeah? Well, maybe if you hadn't asked that ridiculous request of yours, I wouldn't have fallen off the sofa in the first place!"
"Oh, so this is my fault?"
"That's what I said!"
Logan clambered on the sofa next to Carlos before reaching over, and backhand slapping Carlos in the chest. The Latino boy responded in kind. It wasn't long before the two of them were engaged in a full on slap fight.
Katie walked in, and took a seat on the floor where Logan had been seconds ago, and watched two of her brother's best friends go at it. Carlos and Logan stopped their slap fight and gave Katie a questioning look.
"Oh, don't mind me. By all means, continue," Katie said.
"What is it with people walking in on us today?" Carlos asked.
Logan slapped Carlos in the shoulder.
"Dude, don't say it like that! You'll give people the wrong idea!" Logan exclaimed.
"Oh, and your getting all defensive isn't giving people the wrong idea?" Carlos retorted.
Katie started laughing. Carlos and Logan exchanged glances with one another, before looking at Katie as though she had suddenly sprouted horns.
"What's so funny?" Logan asked.
"Nothing. It's just you two are so…cute," Katie replied.
"Excuse me? Cute?" Carlos remarked.
"Yeah, there's obviously a ton of pent up sexual frustration between you two!" Katie answered.
Carlos' eyes bugged out while Logan started coughing violently. All the while, Katie had an amused smirk on her face.
"Come again?" Carlos said at the same time Logan replied, "Say what?"
"Yeah! I mean the two of you always get in these little sissy slap fights. The guys' choice dance is only a few hours away, yet the two of you are here with each other. Oh, and then the cherry on the top is the way the two of you were lying on top of one another a little bit ago," Katie explained.
"You saw that?" Carlos asked incredulously.
Logan smacked the back of Carlos' helmeted head.
"Deny it, Carlos! Deny it!" Logan exclaimed.
"There's no point in denying it, Logan. I was sitting in the kitchen when it happened. I saw everything," Katie said.
Carlos looked like he was about to blow chunks. Meanwhile, Logan's face turned so red that given his pale complexion, his face almost looked tickled pink.
"Carlos and I don't like each other that way! Right, Carlos?" Logan replied.
"Yeah, what he said!" Carlos added lamely.
Katie innocently held her hands up. "It's fine if you do. Actually, it would explain why the two of you are so horrible when it comes to girls…"
"We are not horrible!" Logan exclaimed, insulted.
"Yeah!" Carlos remarked.
Katie chuckled to herself. She quite enjoyed seeing two of her brother's best friends squirm. She had been kidding all along, which made their reactions even more hilarious.
"Okay then, so the two of you already have dates to the guys' choice dance then?" Katie asked.
"Well, no…" Carlos trailed off.
"Not exactly," Logan answered.
"Well then, I rest my case," Katie stated.
"No! Case not rested! I'll have you know that Carlos and I were about to role play before you interrupted us," Logan said.
Carlos reached over and slapped Logan upside the back of his head.
"Interrupted us? How is that any better than what I said?" Carlos remarked.
Logan slapped the back of Carlos' helmeted head once more.
"Carlos! Don't encourage her!" Logan scolded.
"I'm going to get some popcorn. Does anyone want some popcorn?" Katie asked, rising to her feet.
"Ooh! I do!" Carlos answered excitedly.
Logan turned and glared daggers at Carlos, who merely shrugged his shoulders innocently. Katie chuckled to herself as she made her way to the kitchen.
"Don't mind me. By all means, continue," she called over her shoulder.
"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" Logan asked, not caring if he wasn't being very subtle about his intentions.
"Not really. Kyle already asked me out. Oh! I get it! Do you two want some privacy?" Katie remarked.
"It's not that! I just don't care to have an audience!" Logan answered.
Carlos slapped Logan's shoulder.
"Dude!" Carlos exclaimed.
Katie was cracking up as she peeled off the plastic from a package of microwaveable popcorn, and stuck it in the microwave, before setting the timer. She didn't even really have to say anything. Carlos and Logan were already giving her the wrong idea just from what they were saying.
"Okay! Okay! I'm leaving! I'm leaving! Sheesh!" Katie exclaimed, as Logan walked over to her, and practically ushered her out of the apartment, closing the door on her.
Logan stood there and waited for a few seconds.
"I know you're out there with your ear pressed against the door, Katie!" Logan called out.
As if to prove his point, he swiftly opened the door, and Katie came tumbling in. She chuckled nervously. Logan stood over her, glaring at her all the while. He had his hands on his hips and looked none too pleased.
"Leave. For real this time," Logan commanded.
Katie stood up, fighting back a smile the whole time.
"Note to self: Don't get in the way of Logan and his man. There's really no need for you to be so pushy, Logan. Gosh, I guess I know who wears the pants in your relationship with Carlos," Katie remarked.
"Out!" Logan exclaimed.
He virtually slammed the door on her face. Katie had no problem doing what Logan asked. After all, she had managed to record whatever might be said between Logan and Carlos. Next to the microwave, was her cell phone, which she had answered when she used her mom's cell phone to call it. Unless someone pushed the 'End Call' button, it would record everything.
"Can you believe her?" Logan remarked.
"I know, right? We both like girls! You like Camille, and I like the Jennifers!" Carlos replied.
Logan walked over, and took a seat next to Carlos on the orange sofa. Carlos gave a small laugh. Logan raised an eyebrow at him.
"What are you laughing at?" Logan inquired.
"It is weird seeing you so bossy," Carlos answered.
"I wasn't being bossy! It's just she was being nosy, and making snarky remarks. I mean she was clearly trying to push our buttons…"
"It's okay, Logan. You don't have to explain yourself to me. I know, I know."
A comfortable silence fell upon the two boys. Logan was starting to calm down. His heart rate was starting to return to normal. His breathing was beginning to become more regular. Carlos waited patiently for Logan to chillax before speaking again.
"So this role playing idea you have, how does it work exactly?" Carlos asked.
Logan was silent for a few seconds. Then, he remembered what it was Carlos had been referring to. It seemed like an eternity ago that he suggested that.
"Well, you're going to pretend to be Camille, and I'm going to ask you out to the guys' choice dance. I've only asked a girl out once before in my life, so I don't exactly have much experience. Theoretically, if I have no problem asking you out, then I should have no problem asking Camille out," Logan explained.
Carlos had a skeptical look on his face.
"Still, you have to admit that this is a little weird," Carlos said.
"You think this is just weird for you? It's weird for me too, you know. Try not to think anything of it though, Carlos. After all, you're only pretending to be Camille. I'm not really asking you out," Logan replied.
"I know that!"
Logan took a deep breath. Then, he took a second one. Followed by a third one. And a fourth one…
"Well?" Carlos asked, impatiently.
Logan jumped slightly from his seat on the couch. He knew that Carlos wasn't very patient, but he still was startled by his reaction nevertheless.
"So, you know that guys' choice dance?" Logan asked.
"Seriously? That's how you're going to start?" Carlos remarked.
"You didn't even let me finish! Besides, would Camille really say that?"
"What's your problem? Will you go to the dance with me? What's so hard about saying that?"
"Excuse me! Some of us are shy! Not to mention socially awkward around girls!"
"Are you sure it's only girls you're socially awkward around?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Only that we're role playing, and you can't even ask me!"
"I would have if you had let me finish!"
Logan moodily got up from the couch. He started to head for his bedroom when Carlos grabbed him by the arm.
"I knew this was a bad idea," Logan commented.
"Logie, wait. Sit back down. I'll be quiet this time. I promise. Ask me however you want to," Carlos said.
Carlos locked eyes with Logan. The Latino boy gave Logan a warm, encouraging smile and a small nod. Logan reluctantly took a seat next to Carlos again. Logan took a deep breath.
"Was there something you wanted to ask me?" Carlos asked in a high-pitched, girly voice.
Logan snickered. "Could you not talk like that? It's too hilarious!"
"Hey, I thought we were role playing here?" Carlos asked in his normal voice.
"We were, but you don't have to get that into your role."
Carlos thought it was nice to see Logan smile and hear him laugh. He knew how much Camille meant to him. Carlos knew how scared Logan was that he was going to lose Camille. After she started going out with that Steve guy, Logan hadn't quite been himself. He tried his best to hide his pain, but Carlos wasn't fooled. It was a good thing that Steve didn't go to school at The Palm Woods. That meant there was still a chance Logan could ask Camille out.
"Will you, and keep in mind that you don't have to say 'yes,' go to the dance with me?" Logan asked.
Carlos shook his head in disapproval. No wonder even James had a hard time trying to coach Logan on asking girls out.
"What?" Logan asked.
"That's no way to ask a girl out! Where's the confidence?" Carlos replied.
"What do I have to be confident about? I'm no catch!"
"Are you kidding me? You're smart, funny, sweet, and talented. What's not to like?"
Outside the door, Mrs. Knight had frozen in place with her hand on the doorknob to Apartment 2J when she heard Carlos say all those nice things about Logan. She was thoroughly confused. Did Carlos and Logan have a thing for one another? No! That couldn't be it, could it? She just heard things out of context. That's all.
"Let me show you how it's done," Carlos said, before taking both of Logan's hands in his.
"Does holding hands really work?" Logan interjected.
"You like it, don't you?"
"Yeah. It's a nice touch."
Mrs. Knight let out a surprised gasp, before clamping both of her hands over her mouth. Now Carlos and Logan were holding hands? Just what was going on in there?
"Will you do me the incredible honor of going to the dance with me?" Carlos asked.
"How do you not have a girlfriend? You're so sweet!" Logan remarked.
"Hello," Carlos replied, as if his sweetness was the most obvious thing in the world.
The door to Apartment 2J swung open, revealing a very befuddled looking Mrs. Knight. Her gym bag slid off her shoulder, before crashing to the floor.
"So let me get this straight. You two are going to the guys' choice dance…together?" Mrs. Knight asked.
"What? No!" Carlos and Logan replied simultaneously.
"Then why did I hear Carlos ask you out, and why are the two of you still holding hands?"
Logan and Carlos' eyes both widened as they looked down at their intertwined hands.
"Carlos, let go of my hands!" Logan demanded.
Carlos quickly did as Logan asked. Both boys' cheeks turned as red as a beet. Logan rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Carlos fiddled with the collar of his t-shirt all the while nervously laughing.
"It wasn't like that at all, Mama Knight! You see, we were role playing, and…" Logan said, before 'Mama' Knight cut him off.
"Sure…that is what you're calling it…At any rate, I'm fine with it," she said, before stumbling over her gym bag on the floor. Poor Camille! Poor James!
A/N: In case there was any confusion, the last part about James was a reference to the episode 'Big Time Sneakers' where Mrs. Knight kept walking in on Logan and James in compromising positions, which is what my two stories 'Brotherly Love' and 'Cover Boys' was based off of. Like I said, this was probably stupid. If enough people tell me that it sucks, then I'll probably just end up deleting this epic failure of a story…