This is almost a crack fic. Based on a scene from BIOTA. Established Klaine. Based on an image (NOT MINE) that I found on tumblr. Link can be found in my profile. Warning: this has not been proofread. Regardless, enjoy.
"Aren't you drinking?"
Finn whirls around to find Kurt beside him. The shorter boy is dancing and seems to be having a good time, but Finn notices that his brother is the only other sober one at the party.
"Designated driver," Finn says with a shrug. "You?"
Kurt shakes his head, and his eyes widen a bit. "No way, not after last time." He shudders a bit at the memory. "Ms. Pillsbury still doesn't look at me without wincing." Finn laughs sympathetically.
"At least you're having fun." Finn smirks as Kurt continues to dance beside him. Kurt winks in reply.
"Tonight will be interesting," he admits wickedly. "I've never seen Blaine drunk before." He glances behind him to watch the dark haired boy dance wildly. He snorts. "It's been… amusing so far." As the brothers watch, Blaine stumbles over something- probably his own feet- and falls down in a heap. He seems to find the situation entertaining at least, because he bursts out laughing as he spills the contents of his cup all down his front. Kurt rolls his eyes and smiles at Finn before going over to help his boyfriend up.
Finn watches the couple for a minute more before returning to watch the rest of the party. Being the DD was a drag, but sometimes he didn't mind. It was always enlightening, watching people let their guards down. He had learned a lot about his friends in this way.
Finn was watching the showdown between Lauren, Quinn, and Puck with amusement when Kurt returned. "You know," the smaller boy said from the direction of Finn's elbow. "I can give you a ride home, if that's what you're worried about. I'll bring you to get your car in the morning. You- you can have some fun if you want."
Finn smiles appreciatively. "Thanks, dude, but I also promised Puck a ride to his place, so-" Kurt cuts him off with a wave.
"I'll drive Puck home, too. Look at the rate Blaine is going- well, two more drunk guys in my car won't really affect me. As long as no one pukes," he amends quickly. "Anyone who pukes cleans it out."
Finn gives his brother a jerk that is half-nod, half-shrug. "Thanks, man. I'm alright now, but- if I change my mind-"
Kurt nods. "Your choice. Just let me know." He pats Finn on the arm before going to join Tina and Mercedes. Finn looks around, wondering what Kurt had done with Blaine. He spots the boy deposited on the floor, leaning against the wall for support, and serenading his cup. Finn chuckles before going over to join him.
Blaine doesn't look up until Finn plunks down beside him. "FINNN!" He slings an arm around Finn's shoulders, dragging the taller boy down a bit. "FINN HUMMEL!" Finn bites his lip to keep from laughing, not bothering to correct the other boy.
"Hey, dude," Finn says. He's finding the whole not-laughing thing a little difficult. Luckily Blaine doesn't seem to notice the way the corners of Finn's mouth keep turning upward. "Having fun?" A bit of laughter bursts out as Finn speaks, but he manages to choke it down.
Blaine nods enthusiastically. "Yessss!" He falls sideways a little, so that he's leaning heavily on Finn. He doesn't seem to notice. "I am- I am having so much funnn." He takes a sip of his drink, sloshing a bit of it down his chin. He licks it away. "You know what- FINN HUDSSSON?" Blaine snorts. "Finn- Finn Hudssson- FINN HUDSSON HUMMEL." He bursts into laughter. Finn cracks a grin while Blaine laughs and continues to lean heavily on him. Suddenly Blaine straightens, his eyes wide as though he's just thought of something brilliant. "Hummel… Hummel-ANDERSON." He looks at Finn excitedly. "Doesn't that sound- doesn't that sound PERFECT?" He leans against Finn's shoulder again, apparently finding his own weight too much to hold up on his own.
Finn looks around uncomfortable. As much as he likes Blaine, this is a little awkward. And he's sober. He mentally shakes his head. He thinks maybe he should start drinking. Finn's eyes land on Kurt, who hasn't yet noticed the state of his boyfriend. Finn thinks about calling him over, but he looks pretty happy talking to Mercedes and Tina, and Finn doesn't want to take that away from him, not yet.
Blaine continues to talk animatedly. "You know, it's- it's so cool that you and Kurt- are brothers! Right? BROTHERS!" He laughs, throwing his head back a little before downing the rest of his drink and tossing his cup aside carelessly. He sighs happily before turning back to Finn. His arm is still around the taller boy, and he uses it to bring Finn's face closer to his own. "Can I tell you a secret?" Blaine says in a voice that is supposed to be a whisper but ends up carrying across the room. Out of the corner of his eye, Finn sees Kurt look around at them.
"Uh- sure, dude," Finn says. He smirks a little. He already knows what Blaine's about to say- that he's in love with Kurt- because Blaine has already announced it to Finn several times that night, declaring it a "secret" each time. Even though Kurt had been present both the second and the fifth time Blaine had said it. "What's your secret?"
Blaine makes a show of getting close to Finn, but he forgets to whisper. "I- I fucked your brother." He giggles a little, not noticing the way all the blood drains of Finn's face. "I fucked your BROTHER!" He begins to laugh so hard that he falls over, clutching his stomach.
Finn remains frozen in horror, his eyes wide. He meets Kurt's identically wide and horrified eyes from across the room. Around them the party continues, no one noticing the mortified states of both Hudmel boys. Finn feels as though he's about to panic, and he must look it too, because Kurt darts out of his place on the couch beside Mercedes and Tina and hurries over to the two boys. He spares Finn a half glance before crouching beside Blaine and attempting to lift him into a sitting position.
"Blaine- come on-" he mutters impatiently. "Let's get some water in you." He manages to get an arm around Blaine and lifts so that they're both in a standing position. Blaine is practically deadweight, but Kurt manages to keep him up, even when Blaine begins nuzzling Kurt's chest. Kurt glances at Finn, who's still sitting on the floor in shock.
"Not too late, you know," Kurt says, sounding far more amused than he should be. "Still time to get trashed."
Finn nods absently. "Yeah. Yeah." He stands, avoiding Kurt's eye. "I need a drink. Or- several." He leaves awkwardly.
Blaine giggles. "Kurt, Kurt guess whaaat," he says excitedly.
Kurt sighs, though he's smiling gently. "What, Blaine?"
"It's a secret!" Blaine leans in close to Kurt's face. "Don't tell anyone, it's a secret." He drops his voice and manages to whisper. "I love you!" He giggles.
Kurt grins. "I love you, Blaine."