Rating: T

Main Pairing: Zim/Tak

Author's Notes: Hello yet again, my loyal readers. I know you all were looking forward to another update for Evil is Only Skin Deep, The Two Demons of Konoha, etc. Well, I am sorry to inform you that I am in another rough patch. But don't worry, some good stuff is on the horizon, I promise. I just need some time to give you all QUALITY work, and not just ASAP work….. I try to give as good of quality in each chapter as possible. But lately, that has been getting difficult for me. But like I said, I just need to write about less serious stuff for the time being, just to cool off my already overworked brain. So… I thought a short Invader Zim story would be the answer. I hope none of you are mad at me. I want some awesome Naruto stories too. But, this process seems to work for me. In maybe a week, I'll have another chapter for one of my popular Naruto stories ready for ya. I promise. But until then, I hope you enjoy this new addition to my story collection. Hope to hear from y'all soon. And don't forget to leave plenty of reviews. PEACE!

Chapter 1: Zim, the Defective Invader


'Finally,' Zim shouted in his head, as he sat up from his desk. It was another long, boring, depressing day at "Skool" for the Irken alien invader Zim. He was working on yet another crazy and stupid plan on how to take over Earth, and tonight was the night he was going to start it. 'These pitiful humans may have escaped my previous plans, thanks to the Dib-Scum, but not tonight!' As he walked out the classroom, Dib, who rarely EVER takes his eyes off Zim, was, as you could guess, examining the alien's behavior.

'He has something planned,' he thought, putting all of his books and pencils in his backpack. 'Better follow him.' But, as Zim exited the class along with all of the other students, Ms. Bitters stood up.

"Mr. Membrane," she snarled, in her nails-on-chalkboard voice. Dib turned around, curious as to what she wanted. "You are to stay after class and clean my erasers." Dib frowned. "Need I remind you about the incident earlier this afternoon?"

"That was ZIMS fault," the boy barked in defense… yet again. "He was the one who brought those frogs to Skool!" You see, earlier that day, the Skool hallways were swarmed with multi-colored frogs, which were set loose during lunch.

"Oh really?" Ms. Bitters asked. "Then why were there two purple frogs in your locker after the whole ordeal?" It was true. Shortly after the whole incident was taken care of, Ms. Bitters was roaming the halls for any more oddly colored frogs. And, unfortunately, as Dib was opening his locker, two large, purple frogs leapt out of his locker, startling the poor boy almost to death. Ms. Bitters saw that, an accused him of being the culprit. But, when the bell rang for the start of the last period of the day, she growled and said, "I'll deal with you after class."

But Dib still kept it clear. "It was Zim! He's just getting back at me for foiling his "Take Over Earth" plan last week! He was going to place bombs in the sewers all around the city and then…."

"Likely story," the old, miserable teacher interrupted sarcastically. "Just for that, you now have two days of after Skool detention. Anything ELSE you want to add, Mr. Membrane?"

Clenching his knuckles in frustration, Dib began shaking with anger, but reluctantly shook his head. "No, Ms. Bitters. No I don't."

Meanwhile, at Zim's House…

Zim walked in, already throwing off his wig and taking out his lenses. Gir was sitting on the couch, covered in nacho cheese, watching the Scary Monkey Show. When Zim walked up, the psychotic SIR unit smiled like a idiot. "Hello Master," he shouted loudly, "I made Triple Cheesy NACHOS! NACHOS!" He then began laughing hysterically… apparently from what he said. Zim groaned tiredly, and smacked himself on the forehead.

"I swear you will be the death of me," he whispered under his breath, before straightening up. He took a serious frown and looked down at his robotic companion. "Gir! Clean yourself up immediately and follow me! After I inform the Almighty Tallest ( Or are they called Tallests, with an "S" at the end?) about my plat to take over this pathetic world, I will commence Operation: Can't Possible Fail This Time! For I am the mighty ZIM! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He then started laughing like crazy.

"BRAAAHAAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Gir started laughing along. After about 15 seconds of continuous laughing, Zim stopped… but Gir kept on going. Another 15 seconds later, the insane SIR finally stopped. "….. Okay," he said, calmly. All of a sudden, the top of his head popped open, and a long hose came out. It began to vacuum all of the chips and nacho cheese off him. Then, when it was all done, it retracted right back into Gir's seemingly bottomless head.

"Umm…. Okay," Zim said, scratching the back of his head. "Alright! Follow me!" They walked into the kitchen, stepped inside the large "Trash can" and were dropped inside an underground elevator.

"This plan will go without a single hitch," Zim continued, pressing the button that read "Last Floor". "Thanks to my brilliant scheming, the dumb human Dib with be stuck at Skool. I brought hundreds of this planets disgusting hopping creatures called "Frogs" to Skool and unleashed them upon the unsuspecting student population! And poor Dib was left with the blame…. It was MAGNIFICENT!"

"OH! I LOVE FROGGIES," Gir cried, interrupting another one of Zim's evil laughs. "Their small, green, and hop around going, "RIBIT! RIBIT," like this." The malfunctioning SIR proceeded to hop around the elevator, making the noise frogs make.

"GIR! This is no time to start acting crazy," Zim fumed. "After tonight, the Tallest with FINALLY recognize me for the superior Invader I am! They will see that ZIM is the greatest Invader of all time, for single handily conquering a planet! It will be glorious!"

Then, Gir smiled and straighten up. That's when they reached the last floor of Zim humongous underground base. "I hope you're ready to leave this miserable planet, Gir," Zim said, as he typed on the large computer in the middle of the room, "because after tonight, we will be leaving for home!"

Meanwhile, Deep in Space…

Aboard the Massive, the two Tallest sat in the control room, eating donuts. "This is the life, isn't it?" Red asked, after swallowing a mouth full of donuts. "We haven't had a call from the pain in the ass Zim in over a whole week! I think he might've actually died on the worthless planet." The two shared a evil chuckle. "Pass me another soda."

Reaching into the cooler, Purple pulled out a soda and tossed it to Red. "Yeah…. But I wouldn't count on it," Red raised a eyebrow at the statement, as he took a drink from his soda. "That annoying twerp is like a cockroach. The fucker can survive almost anything." The two continued to talk about how much they hated the small Invader, when the large screen in front of them began to flash red. One of their men turned to them.

"My lords, we have an incoming transmission."

"Where is it coming from," Red asked, already having a good idea where.

"The transmission is coming from Earth."

Purple let out a loud sigh, while Red merely slumped down in his chair, massaging his temples. "I knew it had to end sometime," Red mumbled, sitting back up. When Purple took his seat, the two nodded.

The screen turned into Zim, with Gir standing oddly still in the background. "Greetings, my glorious Tallest," Zim began, with a booming voice. The two Irken leaders silently groaned at the annoying Invader's voice. "I come to you with a….

"Hello tall people," Gir interrupted, jumping on Zim's head and waving at them. "It's me! GIR!" Zim pulled Gir off his head, turned, and throw him into a pile of spare robotic parts. He turned back to the Tallest and cleared his throat.

"A thousand apologies, my Tallest. As I was saying, I come to you with a message of DESTRUCTION! My latest plan will go into foliation this very…."

"Okay Zim, you can stop right there," Purple interrupted, sending the alien boy a dark glare. "We aren't interested."

Zim was silent for a moment. He wasn't expecting the response would be like this. But, he smile obliviously and nodded his head. "I understand, my Tallest. These pathetic life forms have proven surprisingly resilient and lucky. And I know my previous world domination plans weren't as satisfactory as I wished…. BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT!" Zim was trying to reassure his leaders about his plan. "I'm all set! I plan to…"

"We said we aren't interested, Zim," once again, he was interrupted. It was by Red this time. "We don't want to hear another one of your half baked schemes again. We're done." His voice was ice cold to Zim, who now thought this was some kind of joke.

"Oh, I see," he said, chuckling to himself. "This is some sort of attempt at humor, is it not?"

With a heavy sigh, Red folded his arms across his chest. "Zim…. Do you remember how many innocent Irken lives you took during Operation: Impending Doom I?"

Zim froze when he was reminded of that. He looked down, with his hands behind his back. "Umm…. Well, you see…. Umm…."

"7,284," Red continued. "You took 7,284 innocent Irken lives that day. Over half of them being fellow Irken Invaders. Now, do you also recall how much damage you caused that day?"

"M-my Tallest," Zim stuttered, "Operation: Impending Doom I w-was just a…."

"You cost over 100,000,000,000 Irken monies of damage," Purple answered. "Because of YOU, Operation Impending Doom I failed. We needed to replenish the ranks with new soldiers. And because of the damaged, we were in one of the worst economic crisis' in Irken history."

".….." Zim didn't know what to say. So far, everything the Tallest was saying was true. He also couldn't respond because he was so stunned. Never had the Tallest addressed him with such anger. Sure, after Operation: Impending Doom I failed, he was punished by the Tallest. But up until now, what happened back then seemed mild compared to now. As he stared blankly at his furious leaders, Red finally snapped.

"Zim, do you want to know why we sent you to Earth?"

Zim looked up into the screen, nervous. "Umm…. You wanted me to c-conquer this pla…"

"We sent you there so that for once and for all, you would finally be out of our lives!" Zim's eyes snapped open when he heard this. "You are a manic to the Irken Empire," Red continued. "All your life, the only thing you were good at was causing trouble for your own people. You barely managed to pass the training to become a Invader, and when we finally gave you a chance to prove yourself, you kill 7,284 Irkens and cost the planet over 100,000,000,000 monies! You were NEVER an Invader, Zim. And you will NEVER be one." Zim began shaking.

"You weren't even supposed to land on any planet," Purple added. "We were supposed to drift aimlessly through space until you were dead. But you got lucky and ended up landing on the one you are on now. You can't even DIE right!" Zim began biting his bottom lip. "Don't you understand now, Zim? You are a Defective! You were a MISTAKE! You were never meant to be an Invader. And we're finally sick and tired playing along with pretending you were one. As of this moment, you are officially BANISHED!" Zim dropped to his knees in shock, with tears slowly starting to form in his big red eyes. "And if you are thinking about calling us back, do yourself a favor and DON'T. We might just let you live the remainder of you life on that pathetic excuse of a planet and not just kill you. Good bye Zim, and good riddance." Red gave the signal, and one of his men cut the transmission.

At first, there was awkward silence. Then….

"!" The whole control room erupted into uncontrollable laughter. Men who working at the computer consoles were either on the edge of their seats laughing, or rolling on the ground… laughing. The Tallest were the ones who were laughing the most. Tears were streaming down their faces, and the continued to laugh, even though their very tears burned their skin.

"OHMYIRK! Please tell me someone recorded that," Red cried, wiping the tears from his eyes. One guy, who was gasping for air, raised one arm in the air and gave him a thumbs up. "HAHAHAHA! We can watch it again at dinner!"

"HAHAHAHA! Did you see his face? Priceless," Purple added, now also gasping for air.

But the laughter ended soon enough.


The computer began flashing red again. Getting back on his feet, Red raised a eyebrow. "Is it coming from Earth again?" He asked, someone annoyed.

The one operating the computer shook his head. "No sure. It seems to be coming from a…" The man paused before continuing. "The transmission is coming from a VOOT escape pod. It signal is strong. Should I patch it through?" Both Red and Purple nodded their heads.

When the transmission was connected, everybody froze. On screen was an Irken girl, with dark purple eyes. She seemed almost starved to death, and was no doubt completely dehydrated. Her clothes resembled that of a Irken uniform, which was wrinkled and tattered. She was barely able to keep her eyes open. She was laying back in her chair, breathing heavily.

"M-m-my T-T-Tallest," she began, in a soft voice. "P-please… I r-require h-h-help…. B-been drifting in s-space for nearly s-s-six months….. Please…." That's when she fell into unconsciousness.

It was Tak…..

To Be Continued…..

HOLY CRAP! That was NOT COOL! It looks like Red and Purple finally told Zim the sad truth. He is no longer a Invader. But what will happen now? How will he cope? What will he do now that he is no longer considered a Invader? And what will happen when Tak is taken onto the Massive? All questions will be answered in the next chapter. Please excuse me if there are some grammar or spelling errors in here. Please come to me and inform me if any of you see any. I hope to hear from you all soon. PEACE!