Coming to an American theater near you: The new, improved, and 100 percent inoffensive The King's Speech.

SAMPLE SCENE

INT: LIONEL LOGUE'S OFFICE

King George VI: All that work down the drain. My own brother, I couldn't say a single word to him in reply.

Lionel Logue: Why do you stammer so much more with David than you ever do with me?

King George VI: 'Cos you're n... nutty well paid to listen.

Lionel Logue: Bertie, I'm not a geisha girl.

King George VI: St... stop trying to be so nutty clever.

Lionel Logue: What is it about David that stops you speaking?

King George VI: What is it about you that nutty well makes you want to go on about it the whole nutty time?

Lionel Logue: Vulgar, but fluent; you don't stammer when you swear.

King George VI: Oh, bug-juice orf!

Lionel Logue: Is that the best you can do?

King George VI: Well... nutty bug-juice to you, you greasy bragger."

Lionel Logue: Oh, a public school prig could do better than that.

King George VI: Spit. Spit, spit, spit, spit, spit, spit, spit, spit, spit, spit, spit, spit!

Lionel Logue: Yes!

King George VI: Spit!

Lionel Logue: Defecation flows trippingly from the tongue!

King George VI: Because I'm angry!

Lionel Logue: Do you know the f-word?

King George VI: F... f... fornication?

Lionel Logue: Oh, Bertie.

King George VI: ... and fudge! Fudge, fudge and bug juice. Bug-juice, bug-juice, bug-juice, buggity buggity buggity, fudge, fudge, arch!

Lionel Logue: Yes...

King George VI: Bells, bells...

Lionel Logue: ...you see, not a hesitation!

King George VI: ...fudgity, spit, spit, and billy. Billy, spit and fudge and.….Tater Tots."