Kitten Extravaganza: Heart Failure
Disclaimer: I own the kitties. 3
Summary: Brittany's cat has kittens. Santana's the nurse, Kurt's the godfather, and Blaine's allergic.
Warning(s): Brittana, Klaine, adorable kittens, and a ton of shameless fluff. And probably OOC.
A: N – For Steph. This takes place in the future... preferably when both these pairings are canon. By the way, this was entirely too much fun to write. If you all want I might write another part.
Santana and Brittany had just sat down for a nice make-out session when her cat howled in pain. Santana was willing to ignore it until it did it more than once. And then Brittany was panicking and Santana realized that, yes, Brittany's previously male cat was apparently female. And it was having kittens. Yes, kittens.
It wasn't that Santana hated kittens (or cats for that matter) it's that, not only did they interrupt her time with Brittany where they could possibly do some sexing up, but they were cute enough to cause her heart to swell from the adorableness. Santana's heart did not swell in anything but anger, and maybe sexual tension. That was it. So what if Brittany's smile caused her heart to beat faster. She refused to acknowledge that it was anything other than heart failure.
So they had successfully delivered the kittens due to Google's extensive information on the subject and step by step instructions. Brittany was busy cooing over the adorable bundles of cat while Santana cleaned up the mess around Charity (Brittany's black and orange cat). Santana was still hoping for some sort of sexing up time, but Brittany had handed her the smallest kitten and then had rushed over to the phone mumbling something about calling a dolphin. She placed the tiny kitten on top of Charity and frowned at the time. It wasn't as though her parents freaked out when she was at Brittany's house for long hours at a time, but it was close to two in the morning and they had Cheerios the next day.
She looked over at Brittany before sighing and falling back against the couch, nudging one of the kittens out of her way gently, watching as the small white thing made it's way over to their mother. They couldn't even open up their eyes yet. "Charity had kittens!" Brittany squealed to someone on the other end. Santana's mouth quirked up a bit at the sound of the blonde girl's never ending happiness. "You should come over and see them!" At two in the morning? Santana didn't know who Brittany was talking to, but she was pretty sure it was Artie. And Artie would not come over at two in the morning to see Charity's kittens, no matter how much wheels still cared for Brittany. "Two weeks?" And now Brittany sounded sad and Santana felt her heart squeeze. Damn, that heart failure was back. She should get that checked out by the doctor. "Okay... I love you dolphin!"
Santana fell asleep sometime after that.
The morning was better. She finally got to sex up Brittany and the kittens were doing fine. All of them were breathing and whatnot. And someone of them even had fur. Their eyes could open now and all six of them could fit into her two hands at once. Brittany was excited to try it out herself, but Santana was quick to put an end to that. It wasn't that she didn't trust the girl... no... that was pretty much the reason why Brittany wasn't allowed to handle more than one kitten at a time. Plus, they still needed Charity. Not only was she readily giving them food, but she was flooding them with warmth. Much needed warmth.
The next few days somehow found Santana their designated nurse. And Brittany made her wear her nurse outfit. Not that she minded (she was getting a little something every night that she was at the Pierce household), but she had to constantly wash the outfit in order to make Brittany happy. But, anyway, her heart failure was showing up plenty of times during the last two weeks or so and Santana was absolutely sure that it was something she should talk to a doctor about. But, when she asked her father about it, he had merely laughed at her and given her a knowing smile. Curse doctors and their knowing smiles. If he knew something about her heart condition he should tell her before she went all Sue Sylvester on his ass.
So, that's how Santana found herself spending her Friday evening. Taking care of two week old kittens in her nurse outfit with Brittany seated comfortably behind her, running her hand through her hair. Which she only wore down for her.
Santana wasn't exactly sure how to tell if a two week old kitten was healthy, but, so far, Google had proven to be a huge help. Especially since Brittany's parents thought Brittany had made up the kittens since they seemed to live in her closet most of the time. Santana should probably talk to her about that... But then the doorbell rang and Brittany was out of the room and running down the stairs yelling something about dolphins. What was with that girl and dolphins was beyond Santana sometimes. All she knew was that they were just gay sharks, and Brittany had referred to Kurt and his prep boy as dolphins- oh. Well did she feel slow now. "Porcelain." She nodded as Kurt walked into the room. "Hobbit." She was actually surprised to see the prep boy, but Hobbit and Kurt were practically joined at the hip now that they both went to McKinley and were "putting up a united front against the Neanderthals" and all that crap. She knew that was code for "screwing whenever they could". She wasn't born two weeks ago. Unlike the kittens that were climbing all over her.
"Satan." Kurt said in response, pulling off his jacket and placing it calmly on Brittany's bed. "You can sit down Blai-" Prep boy sneezed rather loudly. "-ne. Bless you."
"Thanks." He sniffled and Santana definitely did not cover up the kittens to protect them from any possible virus's Hobbit was carrying. Especially when he sneezed again. "Do you have any tissues?" He directed at Brittany. The blonde girl looked confused for a moment, so Santana nodded in the direction of Brittany's bathroom. Prep boy nodded before leaving to fetch some of the tissues... and hopefully control his sickness. Like hell was he coming near any kittens if he was sick.
"I think he's allergic to cats." Kurt supplied helpfully as Brittany pulled him off her bed and shoved a kitten into his lap. Porcelain looked shocked before blinking out of it in less than a second. Santana really had to congratulate the boy, he certainly learned long ago never to question Brittany. Well, it would only sense... since Brittany and Kurt had been friends since kindergarten or something. Or that was what Santana guessed anyway, based off the pictures Brittany had of the two of them.
Brittany nodded wisely at Kurt's words, shoving a kitten at Hobbit when he re-entered her room. Hobbit, obviously, hadn't gotten used to Brittany yet. But he accepted the kitten with a small smile before plopping down next to Kurt and passing it off to him as he sneezed once more. "Damn Hobbit." Santana scowled at him, protectively huddling the kittens away from him.
"No, no!" Brittany said almost angrily as Hobbit lightly pushed away a kitten that was making its way towards him. He sneezed again. "Dolphin wanted you to hold him!" So, apparently, Dolphin was a kitten too? Sometimes Santana wondered what went on in the girl's head. She plucked the white kitten with black tipped ears out of Kurt's hands and shoved them at Hobbit. He looked confused, but he hesitantly petted the kitten's head.
His nose wrinkled as he tried to hold in another sneeze, and Santana found herself reaching out to protect the kitten from the on coming sneeze attack. Kurt did the same, his own kitten busy climbing up his arm. "If you told me we were going to hang out with kittens I would have taken my medicine." Hobbit glared at Kurt and Santana's heart failure showed again. Damn heart failure!
Kurt winced a bit, before smiling halfheartedly at Hobbit. What the hell was his name again? "Sorry, Blaine." Oh. Well that certainly beat calling him Hobbit all the time.
"Ugh." The boy moved to wipe his hand under his nose, but paused when the kitten latched onto it, digging it's tiny claws in and pulling it down to their mouth with a surprising show of strength. Blaine paused in shock and Kurt let out a tiny laugh. Santana had to admit that it was adorable. But then one of the kittens in her lap had reached out to swipe her across the nose. Supposedly she hadn't been paying it enough attention.
She was going to scowl at the tiny bundle in her lap, but the orange and black kitten just blinked up at her with surprisingly clear green eyes. She patted its tiny head with a small smile and she could have sworn she heard Kurt mutter something along the lines of "oh my Gaga, it has a heart!" but Blaine had just sneeze again and he really needed another tissue. Santana decided to be nice for once and handed the kitten off to Brittany before going into her bathroom and grabbing the box of tissues. She threw the thing at the Hobbit's head, glaring at Kurt when he caught it with a warning look sent her way. So, what? Just because they were all the out "gay" kids in their school meant that they had to be best friends now? Screw that logic.
Brittany held the little kitten Santana had been holding up to her face and snuggled into the fur. "She's so soft, San!"
"What's her name?" Blaine said miserably, as he sneezed yet again. Kurt looked a bit disgusted, and, really, Santana couldn't blame him. This was possibly worse than seeing Manhands and Finnessa making out in the choir room.
"Nothing's worse than seeing Rachel and Finn going at it." Kurt said reasonably and Santana realized she had said that out loud. Blaine was glaring at her slightly, but the kitten chewing on his hand, and the other trying to make a home out of his hair, and his constant sneezing did nothing to make the glare scary. Santana was more scared for the kitten on his head; he may sneeze and the poor thing could go flying through the room.
"This is pretty close." Santana said with her patented smirk pulling across her face.
"You should get that copyrighted should anyone else steal it."
"Have you gotten yours?"
"Of course." Oh how she missed this banter with Porcelain. Not that she would let anyone but Brittany and these kittens know.
Blaine sneezed again and Kurt flinched a bit as the kitten on his head shook. The hobbit winced as the kitten's claws dug into his head. Santana smirked at the all black kitten with bright blue eyes. That's what he got for sneezing so damn much. She was almost sad when Kurt removed the small cat from Blaine's head, but the she realized that it was probably safer for the kitten when Hobbit sneezed again and his head flew forwards. The poor kitten in his hands looked terrified as it bit his thumb. "Sneeze!" Brittany proclaimed loudly.
"What?" Blaine sniffled out, reaching for a tissue to blow his nose in. She was tempted to remove Dolphin from his grasp, but Brittany glared at her when she moved to do so. Santana was just about to point out to Brittany that they really didn't want Hobbit to sneeze again when the blonde girl told them that it was the tiny black and orange kitten's name. Brittany handed it back to Santana, instead taking one of Kurt's with a large smile.
"Do you want to be their godfather, Kurtie?" Santana tried not to laugh at the look on Porcelain's face at his new nickname. Blaine sneezed again. Damn boy needed to stop sneezing.
"I'd love to, boo." Kurt was lucky Santana liked his banter or she would have killed him when Brittany pounced on him for a kiss. Hobbit looked jealous for all of a second before he sneezed again. Then it was back to misery. She was actually starting to feel bad for him. But that wasn't going to happen, because Santana didn't feel bad about anything. Except maybe hurting Brittany and what happened to Kurt and almost stepping on a kitten. Santana took the kitten away from Blaine when Brittany wasn't looking. He looked almost grateful until he sneezed again.
"Okay, seriously, Kurt. You could have-" Another sneeze. "-warned me."
"Get over it." Porcelain said simply, leaning over to give Hobbit a small kiss. And, damn that heart failure for showing again! Santana raised an eyebrow when they kissed again. They were certainly going at it if that kiss was any indication. She wondered if Kurt's father knew he wasn't a virgin anymore. She smirked in evil delight until Brittany squealed in happiness.
"Cute boy kisses!" The two pulled apart, slightly flushed and blushing. And then Blaine sneezed again and Kurt looked horribly disgusted. Santana felt disgusted too, since Hobbit's snot was now on her arm. "That's Sweater!" Brittany said happily, pointing at the kitten that had settled itself in Kurt's lap, curled up in sleep.
"Awesome." Kurt said lightly, smiling at the blonde girl. Brittany smiled back at him.
"She likes your baby hands. Just like me." Brittany blinked looking over at Blaine. Who had just sneezed. Again. "Do you know that you've been having sex with a baby?"
Blaine choked and Kurt drew in a shocked breath, his face coloring. Even Santana wasn't expecting that. She covered Dolphin's ears with her hands. A two week old kitten didn't deserve to know anything like that. "Britt-"
"That's Pedo!" She declared and Blaine continued to choke. And sneeze. And now Kurt was looking worried as his sex buddy's (or "boyfriend" as he insisted) face got red from the lack of air.
"Oh my God, Brittany." Kurt sounded terrified as he hit Blaine's back a few times in order to help him gain back some air. Although how that was supposed to help anything was beyond Santana. She was pretty sure Porcelain touching him was only causing Hobbit to have a harder time catching his breath.
"Hi Pedo!" She leaned towards Blaine, and he just choked some more. "Are you okay?" She asked Hobbit seriously, sitting back with a kitten held in her hands. "You're scaring Pedo."
They were all silent as Blaine caught his breath before Santana burst out into laughter, Kurt joining in a moment later. Brittany looked confused for a moment before she shrugged and snuggled into the kitten's fur. Blaine glared at them all, sneezing again as Sneeze made itself herself comfortable in his hair. His lips twitched a little when Kurt fell into his lap from a shove of Santana's foot. She hadn't meant to kick him over... honest.
"There really are kittens..." Mister Pierce said when they found the four later on that day. Kurt and Blaine were curled up in the floor, leaning against the bed as a kitten slept in Hobbit's hair and on Porcelain's chest. Santana and Brittany were on the bed, the other kittens sleeping with them and Charity comfortably.
Blaine sneezed again.