Author's Note: Alright, so if you've been keeping up with my work, you realize I've been on a bit of a break. Well, my muse took my plot bunnies on vacation without warning, leaving me with no contact number and no clue as to when they'll be back.
This is my first NCIS: LA fanfic, and I must say I think I did superbly, but by all means let me know what you think! This is an episode tag of sorts to S2E17, 'Personal'.

Disclaimer: Though I wish it weren't so, I don't own NCIS: Los Angeles or any characters/actors involved with the show. This was purely for my own pleasure, no copyright infringement is intended.



I know it's a shock to get a letter from me after all this time… After all that's happened… But I felt I needed to apologize for all I did to you. I can't even remember why I was holding that shotgun, but I understand you were only protecting yourself.
You were one of those abused kids. And that was my fault. I was the one that taught you to second guess yourself even when you were right, to beat yourself up when you were wrong, and to doubt yourself so much you hardly ever tried.

I just got out of prison but I know better than to try and find you. As you can tell, I have your address, but I won't come to you. My address is on the envelope if you want to find me, but I won't judge you if you don't.

No matter what you do or what you become, you should know that I'll always be proud of you. You stood up for yourself when the world, myself included, was against you. I will always be proud to call you my son.

I love you, and I'm sorry for everything I ever did to you.

Gordon John Brandel, aka, Dad

Deeks looked down at the letter in shock. His dad had wrote him when he'd gotten out of prison? The letter had come along with a note from the post office apologizing for loosing the letter all those years ago. He knew his dad was dead now, died many years previous, but the fact that he'd changed so much in prison that he apologized for things he did was astonishing.

He'd left his past just there, in the past, but this latest case had brought up unwanted memories. He'd gone so long without a next of kin; it was strange to suddenly have one. But Hetty was probably the best next of kin he could ever have and he was lucky to call her friend.

Re-reading the letter, Deeks felt so many emotions rise to fill his mind. Sadness, at having to shoot his own father; Regret, for just turning his back and leaving; Surprise, at the letter; and another emotion he hadn't felt in a long while- love. He'd truly loved his dad, wanted nothing more than to be him when he grew up. That lasted right up until the shotgun was pointed at his head and he had a choice: one, let his drunken dad kill him, or two, shoot him. He went with option two, wounding his father, saving his own life, but loosing the only family he had.

In retrospect, he did the right thing. He was pretty sure everyone would agree with him too, but he would always miss the days when he and his dad would play in the park, play catch, or just run down the beach.

"Hey, Deeks." Callen's voice brought him out of his thoughts, glancing up to see the rest of his team setting down their things. "Whatcha got there?"

He looked back down at the letter before quickly folding it and sliding it back into it's envelope. "Nothing important." Not to you, anyway.