Summary: For all the amazing inventions and discoveries Megamind has either created or realized up until now, never has he thought to investigate life's most unusual and annoying natural scientific phenomenon: static electricity.
A/N: I was inspired to write this when brushing my hair (hence the static) and then getting shocked about five minutes later. Note to long-haired people susceptible to static electricity: be careful when touching metallic objects, no matter what the season!
"Minion!" Megamind called across the lair to his friend as he sat slumped in his chair. The poor alien looked worn out and a bit defeated.
"Sir?" the robotic-bodied fish asked as he approached his boss. "Boss, you don't look so great..."
"I know. I feel useless without being able to create inventions." He sighed. "What was I thinking? 'Oh, let's give up villainy! Let's be a hero!' Well, I'll tell you something, Minion: being the hero stinks. It's boring. There's practically nothing to do since there aren't really any villains around. Even making one turned out to be a disaster... Ridiculous."
Minion smiled encouragingly. "Someone needs to get out of the lair and get some fresh air."
"I don't want to." He folded his arms across his chest with a slight pout.
"Where is Ms. Ritchie? Isn't she supposed to be coming by tonight?" Minion decided it was best to change the subject to something-or rather, someone-Megamind couldn't resist.
A smile lit up the former villain's face. "Yes! She is supposed to be by after they finish interviewing for a new cameraman. About time, too, after that whole Hal Shtewart nonsense..."
The fish chuckled, "You mean Stewart."
"Whatever..." Happy now, Megamind twirled around in his chair a few times before stopping when he noticed through his camera monitors someone near the 'secret entrance.' "Roxanne!" he announced to Minion, who simply rolled his eyes. "If she isn't more careful, someone is going to find the entrance into this place someday."
"As if the 'Secret Entrance' doormat weren't obvious enough?" the female voice countered behind him.
"Ahh!" Megamind jumped up from his chair and stared at the woman in confusion. "Wait. How did you get behind me so fast?"
She pointed at the screen, showing Roxanne just walking into the lair. "It looks like your camera has a lag in its timing. You may want to get that fixed." She smiled lightly and turned around to find somewhere to sit. She eventually sat on one of their new rolling chairs and pulled out a brush, tiredly pulling it through her hair. "So, did I miss anything, or were you busy moping again?"
"I don't mope!" Megamind defended with an annoyed tone.
"He's been moping all day," Minion contradicted, looking toward Roxanne. "It wasn't until I mentioned you that he brightened up."
"Aw," the reporter cooed sarcastically, "I feel so loved."
Megamind rolled his eyes. "It wasn't like that really... It..." He paused and tilted his head curiously. "Um, Roxanne, what is this defiance of gravity happening with your hair?"
"What?" She pulled out a compact mirror and groaned as she looked into it. "Not again... I have so much static electricity."
"What is this...static electricity?" Megamind moved closer to her and reached forward to caress the tips of her hair standing on end. "Fascinating."
"Uh, Boss, I wouldn't do that if I were you," Minion warned with a hand on his robotic hip.
"Why not-OW!" He jerked his hand back and pouted. "Sweet mother of Metrocity, Roxanne! Why did you do that to me?"
She couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. "I didn't do that, actually... That's what static electricity does. It shocks you and gets very, very annoying." She smoothed her hair as best as she could and put the compact and brush into her purse. "When I was little, my dad used to create it by rubbing his shoes on the floor and shocking us kids or using a balloon to rub it in our hair. Let me tell ya-not fun."
Roxanne looked over at her boyfriend and narrowed her eyes. "Whatever you're thinking, forget it."
"No, Megamind. It's a bad idea. You don't mess around with a naturally scientific thing. That's going to get you into trouble."
"But what if I wanted to use it against Metro Man as payback?" He smiled innocently while she looked as though she were considering it.
"Fine. But you only use it against Metro Man-Music Man-whatever goofy logo he's come up with now..." She stood from her chair and approached Megamind again. "Mega-"
"Wait!" He moved backwards a bit. "You aren't going to...shock me again, are you?"
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you that scared of a tiny shock?"
"It felt like a thousand of Tighten's burning eyes!"
Minion's face fell flat. "I don't think that's a suitable comparison, Boss..."
"Hush, Minion... Ah, Roxanne, if you could just de-static yourself first, that would be great."
Roxanne placed her hands on her hips. "Got any fabric softener?"
"What is this fab-ric softener?" he asked in wonder.
"It, uh, softens fabric..." How could even the most obvious things still seem so foreign to him? "Never mind. I think I have some Static Guard in my purse." She knelt beside the chair and dug through the little bag until she pulled out a mini can. Uncapping it, she sprayed her dress and even a little bit in her hair before re-capping it and placing it back into the purse. "There, all better."
"Wonderful!" Megamind said happily as he smiled. "Now you may approach me."
She looked at him flatly before shaking her head. "Uh, no, I don't think so." She instead walked over and gave Minion a light hug first.
"Roxanne!" the blue-skinned alien protested. "You hug Minion before me? What is this insanity?"
"He wasn't scared of my shocking him, first of all... And he's not acting like a drama queen."
Minion smiled cutely at this revelation, and at the fact that for once he got a hug first.
"I am NOT a drama queen." Megamind resulted to pouting again until she walked over and hugged him warmly. He unfolded his arms and hugged her back. "That's more like it..." He grinned down at her. "Now... Tell me more about this static electricity."
About two hours later, Megamind walked into a certain school house and down a long hallway that led into some secret hideout. It was decorated with several dedications to a certain former superhero.
"Metro-I mean, Music Man!" he called out, wondering where his former foe was.
"Little buddy!" the brown-haired man called happily as he grinned from the kitchen. "I meant to tell you and Roxanne that I finished my latest song! Want to hear it?"
"Absolutely not. In fact, I wanted to show you something amazing."
"Well, if it's something super and amazing, how can I pass it up?" Music Man walked over to his new friend and smiled. "What is it?"
Megamind held out his hand. "From the residents of Metrocity, I have learned a new handshake. I wanted to share it with you."
"Aw, awesome, little buddy. Let's do this." As soon as he grabbed Megamind's hand, he winced and retracted his hand in pain. "For the love of Rock N' Roll and salami sandwiches!"
The alien laughed before looking back at the man. "That's a first... I don't believe that even I reacted quite that strangely."
"What in blazes was that shock?"
"Roxanne had something called static electricity, and I've been testing it lately. It's really quite useful, you know..."
Music Man looked at the alien with a dubious stare. "I thought you gave up being evil."
"Evil, yes... Devious, no." He grinned. "Now, Minion and I are throwing a birthday party for Roxanne tomorrow night. You're invited. Oh, and could you get something called ba-loons?"
"Balloons, of course! Count me in. This party is going to be rocking!" He imitated playing a guitar riff and hurried off to another part of his lair.
Megamind had to roll his eyes. Was that really the once-brave "Defender of Metro City?" Really? He grinned wickedly as he exited the lair. Well, at least with the former superhero bringing many balloons, he could test out his latest theory: how much static electricity it took to shock Music Man into some sense of normalcy. Meanwhile, he needed to get Roxanne a birthday gift.
"Hmm," he pondered to himself. "What would a sarcastic news reporter want for her birthday? I know! I shall get her a spatula like the television situational comedy program mentioned. I have no idea what it is, but it sounds wonderful." Happy with his choice, he headed into the city to buy his girlfriend the most perfect spatula ever.
Epilogue: Needless to say, after Music Man had received numerous static electricity shocks the next day and Roxanne had received her 'amazing' spatula, Megamind received what was best known as the silent treatment for a few hours. Even Minion couldn't get him out of this one. (LOL)
A/N: I just got Megamind on DVD two days ago and was finally inspired to write again. Please, don't ask what's with the spatula... All I can say is that it is an inside joke that has been going on between my friend and me for quite a few years now. ;)
I know this story isn't up to par, and after a long and exhaustive weekend dealing with two friends who shall hereafter be known as Bridezilla and Groomzilla (wedding drama), I'm kind of surprised I wrote at all. lol Anyway, hopefully I get back into writing again soon; hopefully the next story is better than this as well. :) Thanks for reading as always! You all are my inspiration, and you make me smile every time I receive such wonderful feedback. Thank you so much!