A/N: I noticed a definite lack of 13 fic on this site, so I decided to post some of my own. This idea + my love of Archie = this story! All of 13 from the point of view of the dying comic relief! I did read the book, so I am going to try to incorporate some scenes from the book, but no promises. Here is the first chapter!

I was never popular. No idea why. Sometimes I will do anything for human contact of any kind. Lets face it, when your mom is constantly swamped with hospital bills she can't pay; she doesn't have much time for you anymore. Even before, when I could walk, everyone avoided me like the plague, everyone except for Patrice. Patrice was a good friend, but I certainly did not think of her in a romantic way. She was a bit sensitive, but I was always there to pick her back up mentally whenever her heart was broken. In return, she would always be there to pick me up physically when I slipped.

I noticed one day, as she lost to me at "Halo 3" for the ninth time, that Patrice was unusually happy.

"So, what's up?" I asked.

"Whatever do you mean?" She replied in a voice two octaves too high.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You have been smiling like crazy for the past two hours, even when you completely flop! You aren't even trying!"

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you!" she said, happily tossing her controller over her head, and turning to face me on the couch. "I met a boy, we've been studying together for a few days now, and we even watched some old movies together! I think he might be…" She squeaked. "The one!"

I looked at her blankly, as she squeaked again and jumped up and down on the couch.

"Patrice?" I said, grabbing my controller and turning back to the screen.

"What?" She said, excitement still present in her voice.

"You seriously need to get some girl friends." She rolled her eyes. "What's this guys name anyway?"

"His name is Evan!" She said, dreamily, "Evan Goldman." My turn to roll eyes.

"Goldman, is he Jewish?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"It's a Jewish last name." she looked at me funny.

"Are you making a joke? A last name can't be Jewish!"

"Yeah it can, Goldman, Cohen, Levi, all Jewish surnames."

"That is not true, no way!"


"Anyway, he's so sweet! He even gave me this!" She took a necklace out from under her blouse, and showed it to me. It said "Friendship" in beads that went across the front. "He's having his Bar mitzvah, which is the Jewish coming-of-age, and I've been helping him with invitations!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great, Patrice. Help me get past level nineteen!"

She sighed, muttering about how she really should get some girl-friends, and went to fetch her controller.

"Alright class, I will be coming by to collect your assignment. If you recall, you were supposed to keep a journal of everything you did over your week off." Mr. Frank's drawling voice said to the room full of juvenile delinquents.

The teacher snaked his way through the desks. I was on the far side of the room from him, so I had a moment with my thoughts. I watched as he took a journal from Kendra. Oh Kendra! She is in love with me; she just doesn't know it yet. I have been crushing on her for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, she never seems to notice that I… exist. Her journal was decorated with sparkly stickers and rainbow colored sketches. The base color was a shockingly bright hot pink.

The teacher approached Brett's desk.

"Sorry, pops, but I had a big game over break, and everything else was training, I didn't have time to finish that stupid assignment!" He said, leaning back, with his feet on his desk.

"Very well, I will just have to mark you as excused, we wouldn't want our star athlete falling behind and not qualifying for the team, now would we?" The teacher said with a grin. Brett smiled. He sickens me.

Finally, the teacher came to my desk.

"Did you complete the assignment?"

"No, sir." I said.

"Do you have an excuse?"

"No, sir."

"Then why?" He said. "It's not like you to just forget assignments." I looked away, not meeting his gaze, knowing every eye in the room was on me.

"I spent most of my break in the hospital. Those boring days weren't worth writing about." I replied.

"Okay." He said simply, returning to the front of the class. I snuck a peek at the class. Sur enough everyone was looking my way. Everyone except… Kendra. She was looking in a make-up mirror, applying eye shadow. Damn.

"This semester we will be learning about the fine details of grammar. There's the semi-colon, the quotation marks…" I tuned him out.

"Oh-em-GEE! That is Hilarious! Pure gold!" I could never stand Lucy's squeal of a voice, but today it was soaked with a little extra venom. I tried to just crutch past them, but a familiar voice caught my ear. That was Patrice, and she was crying. I looked over Lucy's shoulder and saw she was watching a video on her phone. "That is so going on YouTube!"

The video was of a boy ripping an invitation meant for Patrice. I didn't really need to guess who he was. Some 'One', Patrice I thought.

The bell rang to show the end of school, and the hallway cleared. I was usually the last person off campus, but today, I saw someone else who was taking their sweet time. I recognized him from the video. He looked like he was looking for someone.

"Oh, hi! You're the new kid, right?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah, Hi, I'm Evan."

"I'm Archie. I pass by your house every morning while you're waiting for the bus. See, I'm on the special needs bus, Cuz' of my crutches." I said 'Crutches' like I was saying 'Poison'.

"Well, it was great meeting you, Archie!" He said trying to slip away unnoticed. He failed.

"Are you looking for Patrice?"

"You know Patrice?"

"Sure! She's like my best friend! And… my only friend."

"Do you know where she is?" The nerve of some people! He breaks her heart, and then thinks its no big deal, and that they can go back to being friends? Jack-ass.

"Why, so you can do something else to publicly humiliate her and ruin her life?" I said angrily.

"OH, you heard about that, huh?"

"Yeah, it's already on YouTube, but I think I can help."

"Really? That'd be amazing! I'd totally owe you!" Something dawned on me then. Maybe it was the look in his eye, that need to act, to do something. It reminded me of how I sometimes felt about Kendra. Kendra? Kendra! That's it! I then knew how I could get Kendra to notice me!

"And then you could do something for me? A deal of sorts."

"Wait a second, what kind of deal?"

"A small deal; a no-big-deal deal, I need a date!"

"Alright," He said wearily, still not sure, "Is there anyone specific-," I didn't let him finish.


"Kendra? Are you on crack?" I looked away, a dreamy look in my eyes.

"She so wants me."

"No way, dude, no way."

"Fine, then I'll just sit next to her at your Bar Mitzvah; rub my leg up against hers!" Something dawned on me. "Hope I feel it… And before long, I'll be attending to her special needs." I said with finality.

"Okay, first of all, yuck! Secondly, I don't remember inviting you to my Bar Mitzvah!" Hm… this was a slight plan flaw, but I just ran with it. I seemed to be on a roll.

"Do I really need an invitation? You think your mom would throw Tiny Tim out on the streets? And so close to Christmas!"

"Archie, I really gotta go find Patrice." He started to walk away. I really didn't want to have to play this card, but the guy left me no choice.

"I understand, even though it's a sick boy's dying wish, I don't want you to feel any pressure." He turned around so fast, I'm surprised he didn't get whiplash. Works every time.

"Look, I feel really bad, but I can't get you a date with Kendra! I do one stupid thing, and suddenly I'm exiled to the looser table for the rest of my life! I'm on major probation here!"

"There's exactly one person in this whole town who can help me, and that person is you!" he turned away. "Ever since I came here, I've been treated as an outcast! Only because I'm different. Patrice too. Everyone always either avoids me or ignores me, and I hate it!" He looked at me sadly, he was caught between something he wanted, and the right thing to do. "I just want to have a shot with Kendra before… Well, you know, what happens at the end of a terminal illness." He was obviously just eating out of my hand. "Help me, Evan, Please!"

"I'll try!" He said, finally. I smiled and turned away.

"I knew you would!" And that, I did.

A/N: Yay, it's done! I'm going to sleep now!