Herro reader! Chrispumah here, not with an actual chapter but just with a message. I just got a review in this morning at 3:30a.m.(that was the time I got it over here in California, USA) and I just wanted to talk about it with everyone who reads this. I would tell the person (or robot, you never know) in a PM but that's the thing, it won't let me. I can't even look at the username's profile. I seriously think it was a troll, but let's go over it anyway.

So the review started with saying that this story is insane and in some parts, crazy. Yes, that was intended. I wanted this entire HUMOR fanfic to make the reader say to themselves, "What the hell am I reading?" because it is actually funny when you read something like that. Kind of like when you watch a B movie or pretty much everything on the SYFY channel. I liked it when someone noticed the fic was insane, because it shows that some of my intentions didn't go unnoticed.

The second part got to me though. The person (or troll, you never know) said they wouldn't say it bares any likeness to RA so far though. The first chapters were somewhat believable, however now the plot is just out of control and stupid.

Ummm…really? They REALLY said that? Yeah, cause a fic set in the RA universe and using RA units as characters and taking place right after an RA war is nothing even close to having anything to do with RA. In the sense of style, it is dead on with RA if you ask me! RA has B movie events, with cheesy dialogue, and over the top action. So what does my fic have? Let's see: B movie events, cheesy dialogue, and over the top action. Oh yeah! Those two are nothing alike! Sorry, I thought I had them close enough to get by! Dude, did you even play RA? The second game had psychics running around and giant squids attacking ships, and Yuri even sets up a moon base in the 1960s. The third game had the American president as A FREAKING ANDROID who is bet on world domination with a death ray hidden under Mount Rushmore and then the Soviet Primer tries to go to space in a rocket ship, where he has NOWHERE TO GO TO. So sorry, I forgot that the RA series was dead serious and my HUMOR fic is just way out of line.


This reviewer made me piss with the last part how the first chapters were believable and now it's stupid. Ummm, really? When the Beatles (an anti war music band) are shown here as war veterans with John Lennon (one of the worlds biggest hippies) as a tank commander…that was believable. When a teenage Japanese girl escapes from a summer camp and is shot at by mecha tengus and gets way ON HORSE BACK…that was believable. When a fresh Soviet Conscript escapes from a gulag being attacked by Loyalist of their former Primer and with a gulag prisoner he ends up demolishing a tank column to get into Stalingrad, where THE FREAKING MAYOR IS KILLING EVERYONE TO DECLARE HIMSELF KING OF STALINGRAD… that was believable. Even when Tanya suffers from a drawback when she uses the time belt that causes her crap to smell bad enough to clear out a dance club… that was believable.

So what made it unbelievable? I'm guessing it's when a Russian teenager, who doesn't like sluts, stumbles upon a Prototype Tesla Suit and uses it to protect the citizens. Is that where I crossed the line for you? Did you seriously think that out Mr. Reviewertrollrobot? Or was it the mobster thing, cause that defiantly has to be what made it "not RA". I don't have to follow the RA style in my HUMOR fic word by word. I just thought that if C&C Renegade had mercenaries, I can have mobsters.

If they just sat down and thought to themselves, "hey I am reading a HUMOR fic here" then they should know that it's okay for the story to be wacky and silly, because that's what makes it funny. I can't stress this enough, it's a humor fic. No one should take it serious and it's just here for sheer entertainment. I don't think anyone feels bored when they read it, because it's entertaining to see what crazy thing I'm going to add in next. I even hated the beginning of the fic for being to lax. Yeah, I'm going to switch around some things and add a few chapters and then combine some to make them longer, but don't worry, whatever we are at now in terms of story will not be changed.

But what got to me was that if they thought chapter 12 was the breaking point and made the story silly, then I am hurt. That was the chapter that I seriously put in my own feelings and mind set into the main character, Yefim. Call him a Marry Sue, but yeah I based him off of me. He's a guy that is stuck in this dead end job and just wants to live something out of the norm, but since he does it ends up changing everyone's lives. The chapter's title, Octavarium, means to live a life that is out of the ordinary. It's a word that was made up by the band Dream Theater in a half hour long song where a guy doesn't want a normal life and later ends up going into catatonic sleep (A coma induced by a mental disorder, most of the time it's schizophrenia).

That is how I feel in real life, I have a dead end job where I waste almost all of my week doing freaking nothing. It's a huge waste of time and what I really want is to become a video game designer to fix the failure known as modern gaming. It's the feeling of having the power to fix something or to save someone, but everyone else in the world stops you from doing it. Everyone tells me I can't become one, everyone tells me that I should just stick to what I have now and work up from that. To make just enough money to get by and live out the rest of my life working and going home to relax.

That isn't the life I want an I don't think anyone wants that at all. I can create characters and stories and I have more than enough imagination to entertain anyone. The most I can do right now is become an author, and that is exactly what I am going to do. Whatever it takes to get to my dream is no cost. The feeling of having someone experience the story and say that they learned a lot from it is just unexplainable. Just hoping that people will learn from my characters and think differently from their journey. Just wishing that people can believe in magic again…

All of these deep feeling were put in ch. 12 and when the reviewer said it was stupid, I was just simply pissed. To insult my dreams and wishes is to insult humanity. I'm not the only one that wishes for more in life, and I shouldn't be. So thank you ya dick, thank you so much for making yourself sound stupid.

I just have to say, if anyone agrees with this person's review: Stop reading. Don't read anything I write, and do use all a favor and kill yourself. The world needs dumbass for there to be smart people but not like this. Not someone who will read a FREAKING HUMOR FIC on fan fiction and say that it's stupid. A perfect example for people that might think like this is my brother. He doesn't like fantasy or magic. He just likes down to earth war and riots and medieval sword fights that have nothing to do with Sci-fi or Fantasy. Stuff like Rambo and Blood Diamond. His type of Humor is poop jokes and Jim Cary/ Mike Myers (Austin Powers) kind of stuff. He wouldn't like this fic in a million years because it is too silly and cheesy. But guess what? He doesn't like RA3 because of the same reason, plus he thinks Japanese stuff is gay. And I don't blame him. Everyone has their own idea to what they like and don't like. I'm not going to tell everyone to like this fic or else. It's knowing that this is a RA3 fanfic, reading all the way to ch. 12, and then saying that it is getting stupid. It's like reading a Power Ranger fic and saying it's stupid because they fight monsters instead of Al-Qaeda. If you want realism, don't read a Red Alert HUMOR fic.

It's people like that that get to me. Because everyone just let's them say whatever they want and don't even question how stupid they sound. Half of the entertainment business is made up of those kind of people, which makes me even more mad. It's these narrow minded fools that make it so movies suck and that make Call of Duty a high ranking game. Call of Duty sucks balls! No imagination what-so-ever. Games like Red Alert give me hope that games are still good, but EA is ruining the franchise. The RA3 was unfinished in my mind. All because people have to focus on graphics because stupid chum gobblers like that review want thinks to be all about the unimportant things.

I don't want this to be a rant about the gaming and movie industry though, I just want this to be about the reader themselves. How when you read, you are looking at another persons ideas and mind. I believe every story is good, it just takes a good writer to make it work. And good writing isn't about being able to spell correctly or to make the events as big as possible. It's about getting the reader involved mentally in the story and wanting to see the end. For them to see the story hidden in the words and try to decipher it the best they can. Some stories have a underground meaning while others don't. this story has an underground meaning. Most of my stories do( The ones that I'm coming out with by the end of March). I won't let some stupid review make me stop writing, but it did make me want to point a lot of stuff out.

I believe everyone should do their best to find a goal and pursue it. Even to make it an impossible one to make it a real life time goal. It can be anything. Just don't make a goal to be a dick and say that a humor fic is getting to stupid. Yeah, cause I thought that Naked Gun was what really goes on in the police force.

If the person thinks that the fic is getting too silly and crazy, then they better watch out. Cause it's about to get crazier…