Thank you so much for the reviews, you really make me happy :) Remember this fic is rated M for sexual situations. We don´t know Michael & Nikitas history yet, but in this fic they never had an intimate relationship, they kissed and so on while she was at division but nothing more. Hopefully we´ll know more in April, I can hardly wait! :D Well on with it, as usual I don´t own them.
Michael leaned down and pressed a kiss against her forehead tenderly.
"Don´t be scared, I´m not going to hurt you, I´ll never hurt you again, I promise"
Nikita looked up at him with dark eyes.
"Don´t make promises you can´t keep"
He opened his mouth to speak but she silenced him with a finger to his lips. She slowly dragged her finger across his bottom lip.
He wanted to argue but when she replaced her finger with her lips he forgot what he wanted to say.
The kiss started out as a gentle press of her lips against his but soon their bodies demanded more. They had tried for so long to ignore these feelings, now it was entirely to late to stop. They both knew there was no going back after this.
Michael pulled back and looked down at her, a heated expression in his eyes. He had to make sure that she knew.
"There´s no going back after this, you know that right?"
Nikita shivered at the raspy sound of his voice and he continued.
"Tell me you know that"
Nikita nodded but Michael could again see that same old fear in her eyes. Was she afraid of him still?
He leaned down, his lips hovering over hers, her eyes closed as she tried to press her lips against his but he pulled back a little bit, making her eyes open in surprise.
"What are you afraid of?" He whispered to her.
He could almost see the shutters come down in her eyes, closing him out.
She again tried to capture his lips with hers but he once again leaned back, making her sigh in irritation.
"Really Michael? Now?"
"Why can´t you just tell me?"
"Does it even matter right now?"
"I want to know"
She planned to ignore him, she knew she could seduce him and make him forget the fact that he had asked her a question, but the next words out of his mouth changed that. Changed everything.
She could handle his anger and his demands, his stubborness and his control issues. But she couldn´t handle the quiet desperation in his voice. She had only heard it two times before. The first time was when he realized that she had met someone, the second time was when she left division and him behind her for three years, forever in his mind.
She closed her eyes, telling herself that she could do this. She wanted to trust Michael, he would understand. She opened her eyes and met his gaze.
This was the man who had trained her, yelled at her and scolded her, he had been the one person in division she had wanted to talk to, the only one who had listened without judging. Looking up at him she wondered why this was so hard now? He was still Michael. The man she had trusted with her life.
"You´re going to leave me. Just like everyone else."
There. It was said. She closed her eyes and turned her head away. But the touch of his fingers against her chin turning her head back to his made her open them again. Still she didn´t look at him, choosing to focus on something over his shoulder.
"Hey. Look at me"
She reluctantly met his gaze.
He smiled at her, a sad smile.
"I don´t want to leave you".
Her voice was strong despite the fact that her soul was screaming inside, but she knew she didn´t fool Michael. Like always he saw right through her.
He pressed his lips against hers briefly before pulling back to press a kiss against her chest, over her heart. He looked up at her and the look in her eyes made shivers race down his spine as their lust for another flared again, hotter than ever.
Michael pressed his lips against hers hotly. She gasped and his tongue slipped inside to taste her again, he could never get enough of her. His hand found it´s way underneath her to unclasp her bra. Gone was the gentle touch from before and before she had time to blink he was slipping it completely off and tossing it to the floor. His mouth immediatley found it´s way to her right nipple, biting and sucking, makin her throw her head back and moan, hands clutching at the back of his head pulling him closer, he could never be close enough. She wanted to crawl inside him and stay there so she would never have to leave him.
The talk about losing each other had made them desperate to reassure themselves that they were there in each others arms, alive, and the fear made their actions even more rough. Nikitas hands pushed Michaels coat over his shoulders and he pushed it to the floor with one hand.
She soon gave up trying to unbutton his shirt, choosing instead to follow his lead and ripped it off causing him to let out a raspy laugh against her chest.
She whispered to him as her hands roamed his chest and back hungrily.
"You started it"
She teased him with a breathless smile.
"Don´t worry, I intend to finish it"
A dark whisper against her chest. His hands which had been stroking the skin on her stomach just inside her pants took hold of them and slowly dragged them down her legs and tossed them somewhere behind him. His eyes swept over her hungrily, he leaned down on one arm and placed his hand on her stomach. His touch was so sure, so certain that she swallowed hard. When he didn´t move his hand she glanced up at him and met his dark gaze.
"I´ve pictured this moment so many times in my mind"
"I have too" She smiled a shy smile at him.
"For what?" She whispered.
"I wanted to be different" He swallowed "I wanted to be better, for you. I wanted to be able to be gentle, and I´m not going to be able to".
"That´s not who we are" She whispered to him, softly caressing his cheek. After a moments thought she added. "That´s what I love about us. It´s rough, yes, but also honest and raw. And it´s painful, sometimes more than I can stand" Her finger traced his lower lip. She had already told him her deepest fear, that he would leave her, it was time for honesty "But that´s what makes me feel alive, makes me feel like I am here, not just a ghost" Amandas words from years before echoed in her mind, The world outside these walls is an illusion. It´s not really there for us. We´re ghosts.
"You make me want to be alive, even when I shouldn´t" He looked down.
"I´ll do anything for you, I said I would, and I will, you know that"
They both knew what they were talking about. She had made him a promise and she would keep it.
His hand slowly moved down under her panties to press against her and she gasped, shocked at the sudden touch.
"No more talking" He whispered before kissing her.
As their tongues teased each other he slipped one finger inside her, making her moan and arch toward him, desperately seeking release. She broke the kiss and bit down on his shoulder when he added a second finger making him groan.
"You feel so good" He whispered against her neck while kissing and sucking at the skin there.
"I thought you said no more talking?" She teased him, her hands sliding down his chest to cup his hardness lightly in her hand, scratching lightly at his pants with her nails.
"Tease" He groaned.
She laughed lightly and unbuttoned his pants and reached inside to stroke him. His hips bucked forward of their own accord. His moan was the best thing she had ever heard. She stroked him lightly before he grabbed her hands with one of his and pinned them over her head. His other hand ripped her panties off before quickly ridding himself from his pants and underwear. For the first time they felt each others skin without any layers.
Michael leaned down and pressed their bodies together making them both moan, Nikita closed her eyes but Michaels hand on her face and his words urged her to open them.
"Look at me" he rasped.
Their eyes met and her legs spread as he settled in between them.
"I didn´t wanna need you so bad, but I do"
He kissed her hard and with one sure thrust he slid inside her. Her scream was silenced against his mouth, her body arching against his. He ripped his mouth from hers and pressed his face against her neck with a groan.
He pulled back and slid back in, they moved together as if they were made to fit together this way.
Nikita moaned and tugged at her arms, he released them and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her. His next thrust made her dig her nails in his shoulders hard enough to draw blood.
Michael groaned and bit her neck and thrust into her even harder.
"Michael Michael Michael..."
His name fell from her lips.
"Yes" He moaned against her neck.
No more words were spoken and their moves turned rougher and frantic, their control completely gone.
Nikita came with a gasp, her whole body clutching at Michael, who came with one last hard thrust while moaning her name. He collapsed against her, his lips against her neck. For awhile neither spoke, the only sound was that of their harsh breathing.
Michael finally pulled back, he looked into her eyes, he had never seen anything more beautiful. He pressed his lips against hers lightly before rolling and pulling her with him. She rested her head against his chest, his arms wrapped around her.
She turned and laid on her side, her back to Michael who pressed his chest against her back and his head to her shoulder. His hand found hers and they laced their fingers together.
"This changes everything" She spoke softly.
"It does" He agreed.
"I love you" As soon as she had uttered the words, a feeling of calm settled over her.
"You own my heart" He replied simply.
Puh. What do you think? I don´t know if it turned out exactly how I wanted it, but this was the last chapter in the "This is me" story, I hope you liked it. The words Nikita remembered Amanda speaking about them being ghosts is actually a line from the show La femme Nikita, where Amandas character was called Madeline. "I didn´t wanna need you so bad" is from a song called "The way I do". Anyway how awesome is the One Moment promo? My fingers started to tingle and my head started to imagine different stories to write but I slapped them away to finish the stories I´ve got going lol.