A/N: Of course when I saw the promo I had to write this. CW manipulates promos so I'm almost positive this isn't the way it's going to turn out, but you know I love my C/B/D jealousy. Don't kill me. And sorry that I use the word Evisceration like 15 times.
Summary: He remembered hearing her laugh for the first time. They were fourteen, sitting on his couch at The Palace, her stocking-clad thigh almost touching his, when she just turned her head towards him and smiled.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Inspiration comes from 4x17 promo of my beloved GG. Thanks to comewhatmay.x who got this back to me depsite her busy sched.
He remembered hearing her laugh for the first time. They were fourteen, sitting on his couch at The Palace, her stocking-clad thigh almost touching his when she just turned her head towards him and smiled.
He didn't remember what he had said, or why he was was the first one to experience the first true emotion from Blair Waldorf, but it had happened.
That was the moment that Chuck realized that Blair Waldorf knew him.
Standing there, staring at his best friend, that was the only thing he could think of. The moment those words came out of Nate Archibald's mouth, all Chuck could think of was the memory of hearing Blair Waldorf laugh for the first time.
But this was now, and Chuck Bass did not believe Nate Archibald for one second.
"Chuck," Nate sighed. "I saw it."
"I don't believe you."
That's your business.
But he wouldn't go back to that dark place. He wouldn't go back to opium and hookers to kill the pain because Daddy didn't care enough to stay, and the only woman he could ever love had her cruel why did you even come back?
She was still the only woman he had ever loved (always have, always will) and he knew that could never change.
Because she was still Blair. There was no alternative. There was no change. All there had been was them.
Or so he thought.
"I saw it, Chuck," Nate said earnestly
The only time Nate had ever lied was to Blair, and even that deception had come out eventually.
"And so did you."
It was one thing to deny the words of a boy who would never lie to anyone. It was another thing for Chuck to deny his very own eyesight. It was another thing to deny the bile rising at the back of his throat.
And he just couldn't. Because no matter what she had done in the past, she had never hurt him like this.
Chuck never thought Blair would stoop as low as to fuck Dan Humphrey.
"You did this to hurt me."
Blair's eyes were wide, and for a moment, he liked to feel entitled enough to entertain the idea that he had caught her off guard.
But she was laughing now, and he never thought that it would hurt this much.
"Have your daily hit of Ego, Bass?" Blair asked coolly.
"I saw you."
Blair just stared at his blunt statement.
"Let's not waste time denying," Chuck said lowly, and he never thought he would say that to her ever again.
"And why would I do that?" Blair asked, her smirk was devised specifically to cut his heart out. It hadn't been so long ago that Chuck would flee from the very idea of showing his true face to anyone. Especially Blair Waldorf. But they were so far past that period in both of their lives—a scar sneering down his hip as proof of exactly that.
"If it makes you feel secure," Chuck said, "fine. Use him against me."
"You would like that," Blair said, "wouldn't you? To think that I lay awake at night tossing and turning over the thought of you."
She was his worst enemy. How she could cut him so deeply and artfully, and yet it was the exact thing that connected them.
Blair laughed condescendingly and he wished he didn't love her so much.
"Why would I give you that courtesy," Blair asked, "when you didn't for me?"
That hurt more than Chuck would have liked and he found his words dying at the back of his throat—in the way that only she could incur.
"I'm not trying to hurt you," Blair said. "But ironically, not wanting to hurt you is what hurts you the most. It kills you to know that I'm his friend because I want to be. And you said so yourself. You and I can never be friends."
"Maybe not," Chuck answered, refusing to let the conversation end right there. "But only because we are so much more than that."
"I'll refrain from asking you what we are, because we both know how that ends," Blair said coldly.
"Would you really debase yourself like this?" Chuck asked. "He's Dan Humphrey. His father betrayed mine."
"That is a class warfare you're going to have to deal with on your own," Blair shrugged. "It's not my problem. You made sure of that."
Chuck gazed helplessly after her, his worst fears realized.
"But if it is any consolation," Blair said, in a way that made him dread his very breath, "at least he's not a prostitute. I know the affinity you have for those."
And he gazed after her still, now hating the very breath that dared leave his wretched lungs.
He waited for him. It was the familiar anger burning in his veins, the thirst for blood in his throat.
Dan Humphrey sighing at him despairingly was not the reaction he wanted to garner.
"Chuck," Dan said begrudgingly, trying to pass him in the lobby.
"You think you see another side of her," Chuck said. Dan gave another sigh, but stopped anyway. "You think that she's different with you."
"She is," Dan said, trying to keep the indignation from his voice.
"Maybe," Chuck said. "But you can't know her. Not like I do."
"That's usually what happens with people who grow up together," Dan said. "But sooner or later, that excuse just stops working."
"One day, it's going to be one girl too many," Dan said. "One day, it'll be one betrayal too many and she'll be done with you."
"You really have no idea what it's like," Chuck scowled, resenting the vermin for just being able to be with perfection, as if it was without consequence. "You have no idea what it's like to watch her. To see her so disarming and fascinating and...perfect. You have no idea what it's like to watch her become this alluring force. You have no idea what it's like to be forbidden to be near her."
"You broke her," Dan said coldly. "Whatever vapid pain you're in right now, don't pretend for one second that you don't deserve it."
"You are so blissfully ignorant," Chuck sneered. "The strongest feeling you've ever felt was for my sister. And all you have to do is cross the bridge to get away from it. I can't get away from myself. Every time I even look at her, my heart squeezes out a little bit more blood I didn't think I still had in myself. A simple look from her invokes just a little bit more pain in me that I thought I had desensitized myself to; so don't talk to me about getting what I deserve. Every day she cuts out my heart. And you have no idea what that is like."
"I know what pain is, Chuck," Dan said dryly. "So you can tone down the condescension."
"Not like this," Chuck laughed without humor. "So as she lures you into her bed night after night, with that sweet, innocent smile you think is genuine, just try and remind yourself. She will eviscerate everything that you are. And you won't be able to help but come back for more."
"We just kissed," Dan said. "That's all that happened."
"And you expect me to believe that?" Chuck asked.
"It's the truth."
"She'll hurt you too," Chuck reiterated.
"I like her," Dan said. "A lot. And we were both lonely."
"I will eviscerate you," Chuck just said.
And Dan knew that was the end.
"Do you understand what I'm telling you?" Chuck asked.
"So you do love her," Dan said, finally starting to understand the twisted triangle he had allowed himself to be dragged into.
"Love doesn't even begin to cover it."
Dan watched Chuck, only thinking about how he was the one intent on leaving that night, while the visceral man had entered the lobby. In a sad way, the bastard was right. In a sad way, Chuck and Blair were martyrs. Because even if Chuck did keep his word—even if Dan was destroyed for his crimes—he wouldn't be the only one.
Then again, he was just starting to think that Chuck and Blair already knew that. That was what made them martyrs. Because Dan might be eviscerated, but Chuck and Blair would consume each other until there was nothing left.
And Dan knew that was the way that Chuck looked at Blair. He looked at her with evisceration. And that, to him, meant that there was no one else for the bastard.