I sighed and curled up tighter on me side, instinctively hugging the blanket under my chin. It was actually a little too hot under the blanket, but it was too comfy. I could tell faint light fell into my room from behind the window curtains. I didn't know why, but I felt good that morning. I didn't want to get out of bed. I just wanted to stay there and be peaceful for a little longer.
However, the memories of the night before quickly came flooding back to me, and my eyes snapped open. Yes, I was in my room. How did I get there? I didn't remember. I must had fallen asleep in the forest, with Jasper. He must have…carried me back? It could have happened, it was strange that I didn't notice.
Strange that I fell asleep there! I couldn't believe I did that!
I could believe I actually agreed to "spend the evening with him". We stayed together the whole night.
Holy shit! We were actually having a conversation, a real two-sided conversation. And he was, for the most part, actually pleasant! What kind of fucked up paradox did I just trip into?
And Jasper…. Jasper actually smiled. Really smiled. He really laughed and really smiled, completely genuine, without any sort of sultry or bitter manner. I thought my heart was fluttering still.
What was going on?
To say I was confused was an understatement. I sat up in my bed and ran a hand through my hair, breathing carefully. I ran over some key events from the night before.
First, Jasper came to my room uninvited, unannounced, and unwanted. Somehow he was able to persuade me into joining him wherever for the rest of the night. Hell, at that moment, he probably could have persuaded me to go streaking through the woods. I couldn't help myself—he had me caught between himself and the wall faster than I could think, giving me that God awful/wonderful smirk. I lost it. Per usual, I got to play the fool while he danced all over me.
Oh, and, I got one free wish from him. I mildly wondered if I could wish for more wishes.
Then there was that terrible ride on the horse. I loved the horse, Twilight—how beautiful!—but not riding on him. I had never ridden a horse before, needless to say. It was total darkness too, so I couldn't see where we were going. That made it scarier. Then there was the fact that Jasper had his arms around me…. That was far from scary.
Really, the things I felt made me seem like a sighing tweenager with a crush. It was horrible.
Then our conversations came. First, we both agreed that I was an idiot. Alright, fair enough. He amended by admitting that he had made past mistakes too.
Jasper's past mistakes were trusting Maria, becoming Maria's "slave", losing his humanity and becoming evil. That was shocking to me. He did feel regret after all. He didn't like the way he was. And thus, I felt like shit for the way I treated him.
His confession also said a lot about why he acted that way. It really was Maria's fault. Maria taught him to be cruel and evil, like she was. Maria broke his heart, making him twice as cruel. The truth was that he was just very hurt inside; I saw that, finally. That made him think that he couldn't trust anyone. That made him think that he had to make people fear him so they wouldn't think of turning on him. That made him believe that he had to rule everyone else to feel like he was the Master and not the Slave, because the latter was the part he had been playing his whole life. Maria ruined him.
I was so glad Jasper had told me that. I felt like I understood so much more. Only then, I didn't know how to proceed with my new found information. All of Charlotte's encouraging shoves felt like they weighed a thousand pounds on my shoulders. What was I supposed to do now?
In honesty, I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to find out more about him. I liked getting him to open up to me. He hadn't done any of that since I met him, and suddenly he was. I didn't even want to question why, I just liked that he was. I couldn't care less why. I wanted to talk with him again, and I wanted to feel the way I did the night before. I wanted to fall asleep happy and peaceful.
So I jumped out of bed, ran to the window, and threw apart the curtains. I could see all the newborns out there, Peter and Charlotte, but Jasper wasn't there. I search harder. I found Rosalie, surprisingly. Rose was one the back of another dark-haired vampire, but they weren't fighting, she looked like she was laughing. Peter came to break them apart, and from his motions he seemed to be yelling at them. Then Charlotte pounced on Peter from behind, surprise attack, both of them tumbling to the ground while Rose and the other man laughed again. I laughed too before shaking my head and walking away.
I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face in the bathroom. I always felt better when I was fresher. I changed into dark jeans, a pair of ballet flats, and a simple black v-neck shirt. While I was looking in the mirror, brushing my hair, I realized that maybe a v-neck shirt wasn't the best way to go. Then I thought about it, and I left it on because I thought that taking it off would be like doubting Jasper's control. I wanted to believe Jasper could handle himself if I just showed a little skin around the neck area. I realized putting my hair in a ponytail might have been pushing it, so I left my hair down.
I went back to the window and opened it up, sticking my head out. "Eh, Peter!" I called.
Peter swiftly turned to look at me, in turn being tackled by his sparring partner.
"Whoops," I muttered.
I heard Peter growl from where I was before he threw off his partner, others snickering around him. He stood and brushed himself off before asking, "What, Bella?"
"Where's the Major at?"
Peter hesitated. "He left this morning, Bella. I think he'll be gone all day. But he'll definitely be back tonight. Did you need something?"
"Nope, thanks." Cursing in my mind, I pulled the window shut.
Well, there went that. Jasper would be gone all day. What was I supposed to do all day?
Followed by: What the hell? I'm I insane? Seriously, I was living in a mansion, and I had Charlotte. Surely I could find something to do. The party's not over 'cause Jasper's ass isn't around.
Still, I wondered what he was doing. I just hoped it wasn't anything bad.
And then I had an idea. Jasper wasn't home, which meant that certain things were unguarded. For example, his room might have been unlocked. And maybe, just maybe, his journal was sitting out on the bedside table. Perhaps it was sitting there waiting to be read.
I carefully poked my head out of my room, and looked down the hall both ways. It was quiet. Too quiet. There was no one to be seen either way. I crept out of my room, softly shutting the door behind me.
And with the Mission: Impossible theme song playing in my head….
I found myself in front of Jasper's door. Hesitating. My hand poised cautiously over the doorknob.
Of course I was being paranoid. Yet, you can never be too careful around Jasper. If he suddenly popped up behind me out of nowhere, it wouldn't have been the first time.
I went into his room, closing the door. It was empty. I first looked to the bedside table, but there was no book there. I quickly scanned around, not seeing it, and realizing that if I really wanted it then I would have to dig for it.
I turned to my right, my eyes immediately locked on the double doors that led to his closet. I started towards it before I could stop myself.
Jasper's closet was narrow and walk in. Dress shoes and boots lined the wall. The hangers flaunted many suits, dress pants, dress shirts, button down shirts, and a couple uniquely styled poet's shirts. There was a small dresser filled with t-shirts and jeans, which made me realize that he never wore jeans and t-shirts after they left the school. Guess that wasn't his normal style. On a shelve up high, I found a couple hats, some gloves, and a stack of leather-bound journals.
Ah, so that's where he keeps them all. Damn, there's a hundred years worth of journals, all right.
I picked one at random, skimming through the dates. I frowned and picked another, dong the same. Soon I had gone through them all, but they were all so old. I wanted to know where Jasper kept his most recent journal entries.
Slightly disappointed, I walked out of his closet, gazing around his room again. Who's to say he even kept it in his room though? He had an office, it could have been in there. I didn't want to have to go through everything just to find it.
I sat on the edge of his bed. Then, with a groan, and slumped to the side onto the pillows. My head hit something that was definitely not pillow. I sat up and looked over the pillow, checking out the indents my head made, the shape of it. I took the pillow and tipped it upside down, reaching inside.
I smiled as I pulled out Jasper's journal, looking over the hard cover of it. "Jasper," I told the journal, "you are so human."
I flipped to the last page that had writing on it. Sure enough, it was an entry from the night before.
May 18, 2011
Did she really understand? This is what I wonder. She seemed to understand. There was…a compassion in her eyes. Her lips were stretched with a soft smile. I know she was happy. I curse my gift, I know what people feel but I don't know the reason behind it. Why was she content? I could only wish that it had something to do with me.
I doubt so, however.
Isabella has been both a thorn in my side and a sweet fragrance of rose about me since I met her. What is it about this insufferable, adorable girl? She has changed me, that's suffice to say. I've felt more than I ever have just last night with her. That was more pleasurable than I imagine it could be.
She does so deserve that agreement of payment….
I would find a way to take the stars from the sky for her if it meant I could have the pleasure of her company.
I snapped the book shut. I could feel the mask of shock on my face. I couldn't believe what I had just read.
I grinned. Jasper liked me. He mentioned me being annoying, but he liked me. He didn't hate me.
And that was enough for me.
"Forks Mental Institution," read the large sign.
It did seem an evil place though. I couldn't say what about it, but with the shadows of the great trees leering over the building like that, it seemed unwelcoming. I could even say malicious.
I listened first; a habit. A heard talking—two different types. People spoke in normal conversations, or doctors went over patients' histories or medical needs. Then I heard talking like muttering, whispering, grumbling, and threats. It was people talking to themselves. I heard heartbeats and breathing both stable and erratic. I heard sobbing, screaming, snoring, and laughing.
It was insane just standing outside and hearing all of that.
It did seem like a horrible place, despite that I didn't really know anything of what such a place is like. It's easy to say I wouldn't want to be in one.
Still, I certainly did not feel sorry at all for that psychic, anorexic pixie.
Did I or did not tell her not to go spreading the word about vampires? I did. What did she do no sooner? She ran through the town screaming, "Vampire!"
I strongly believe she got what she deserved. However, Isabella had different views. And a wish….
I started on my way towards the front door of the institution. I hid in the shadows of the wall a peered inside. Everything was dimmed. Visiting hours over, I suspected.
I ran around to the back door, one that led to the basement. It was locked, of course, but what good was that against me? I tried not to break the door as much as possible.
When I found myself at the receptions' desk, there was only one woman there. Luckily enough. She was confused when I walked up to her.
"Excuse me, who are you?" she asked as she lowered the paper's she was shuffling. "Are you a visitor? Sir, visiting hours are over, you can't be here."
I leaned on the desk and caught her eyes with mine, and she relaxed to the level of lassitude I commanded of her. I smiled easily. "I'm looking to check someone out. Her name is Alice Hale. If you would be so kind, I would appreciate if you could look her up and take me to her."
The young woman hesitated to make any move. I goaded her on by feeding her some feelings of compliance and more exhaustion. She rolled her chair over a bit to the computer and began typing with mechanical motions.
Perhaps I was wrong to curse my gift because of Isabella. This is the best thing next to compulsion. That's one myth I wished were real in vampires.
The woman stood and began walking around the counter. I raised an eyebrow and straightened up.
"You found it then?" I asked.
I woman nodded.
"Very good," I approved. "Take me to her then."
I followed the woman down the halls, and I had little reason to believe any patient in the hospital was sleeping. There was so much moaning and whining, sounds of perfect horror, and some laughs that made even me cringe. I clasped my hands behind my back and tired my best to ignore it.
When then made our way onto the floor for children and teens. It was much more quiet there. I softly breathed a sigh of relief.
And then it didn't seem at all right. We passed the teen section and down a long, very different hall. The air changed dramatically. I stopped without knowing I had. There were a few doctors running up and down these halls. In these halls the laughing from before was giggling compared to these ear-grating hysteric cackles. In this area, sobbing and wailing was endless.
I caught up with my guide in a few strides, looking around warily.
And then we stopped at one room. One room with a steel door and no window.
"Ms. Hale is in here," the woman said.
I hesitated to pull the door open, the heavy metal screeching in protest. A white, padded room was revealed to me. My gaze was drawn to the small, pale-skinned, black haired form huddled in the corner.
It couldn't be….
"Shit," I muttered before stepping into the room.
But it was her. Alice had gone crazy enough to be needed to be locked in a padded room. And she was awake, even though her eyes were closed. She was muttering about vampires.
I rested my hand against the head of the woman beside me, and the woman fell limp. I caught her and laid her in the padded room before tentatively approaching Alice. I knelt in front of her, but still she didn't care to notice my presence.
"Alice, darlin'," I said slowly.
She gasped, her eyes opening a mile wide. She looked at me and got ready to scream, but clasped a hand over her mouth to muffled it. She cried still and tried to attack me wildly, scratching mostly.
I calmed her enough to the point of becoming unconscious. Otherwise, I would have never been able to get her out of there.
"Fuck," I hissed. "This is a problem."
Sorry about the short chapter guys, i had no more to add to this. What did you think? Please review! ! ! Thanks for reading!
What did you think? Please review! ! !
Thanks for reading!