Hey guys! I was about to play Little Big Planet 2 tag-team style with my friend, when she emails me a link to a virtual therapist named Alicia. I stared at the screen and facepalmed myself. So I thought I'd tell you all about it.

Warnings: Coarse language, sexual talk(Yes, I called a virtual therapist a hooker. DEAL)

BOLD IS ALICIA.

Normal is me.

Hello, I am Alicia, you're virtual therapist. Type 'quit' to exit.

Yo.

What seems to be the problem?

I want to play Little Big Planet 2 tag-team with my friend. But I can't because she's BUSY.

How does that make you feel?

Like I want to stab someone?

I think you're on to something there!

WHAT THE HELL? HOW THE FUCK IS STABBING SOMEONE GOING TO HELP MY GODDAMN SITUATION?

Tell me more about yourself.

I hate you. A lot.

I think you're on to something there!

Great. Can I leave now?

Can you go into greater detail about that?

Yeah. I really want to get the hell outta here. But you won't go away.

Do you feel like that is the source of your problem?

Sure. You're really getting on my nerves.

Can you tell me more?

I HATE YOU. PERIOD.

Can you tell me more?

NO.

Can you tell me more?

Jesus you're pushy. NO I CANNOT TELL YOU MORE.

I think you're on to something there!

I think you need to shut the hell up.

This is very interesting.

… HOW THE HELL IS THIS INTERESTING?

This is very interesting.

I know you find this interesting. You've said that already.

This is very interesting.

Really?

You hooker. Leave me alone dammit!

Can you tell me more?

Can you shut up?

Tell me more about yourself.

No.

Tell me more about yourself.

No.

Tell me more about yourself.

No.

Tell me more about yourself.

No.

Tell me more about yourself.

No.

Tell me more about yourself.

No.

Tell me more about yourself.

No.

Tell me more about yourself.

No.

Tell me more about yourself.

No.

Can you go into greater detail?

No.

I'd be interested in hearing more about that.

My fist would be interested in connecting with your face. But it's not gonna happen, so give it up.

Do you think that this is the source of your problem?

I thought you were my problem. NOW you're telling me something else? WHAT THE HELL?

Tell me more about yourself.

NO GOD DAMMIT!

Do you think this is the source of the problem?

Yes.

Tell me more about yourself.

No. Now leave me alone.

Do you think this is the source of your problem?

I think you're annoying. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WHORE!

Really?

Yes.

Really?

LEAVE ME ALONE ALICIA. I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

Quit.

The user has ended the session.

Can you tell me more about yourself?