I'll share with you if you share with me
I always want to hear what's on your mind
And from the other side, can you still answer me?
Because I live to speak what's on my heart
- BT, "Forget Me"
Molly sat in the park on one of the benches. She shifted uncomfortably on the recycled plastic plank. The sun was starting to make its way towards the horizon, but Molly didn't check her watch: It would still be a while before Melvin would be finished with his study group. The packing Molly had planned to do for the last several days didn't happen. She had found herself pacing in her room or sitting on her bed, staring out the window more than sorting through books and clothes. She hadn't looked at Nephlite's bandage all day, though she had kept it tucked inside her shirt, next to her heart.
Of all the people walking through the park none of them sat next to her. They never asked if she minded sharing, and any of them that would look her way would quickly look away and walk past. It was as if they knew she was hurting and didn't want to get too close, in case the pain might be catching.
Molly had spent the following day after her conversation with Serena avoiding Melvin. She knew he would start to contact her mother soon to convince her to speak to Molly to speak to Melvin. The only thing Molly could do was shake her head at Melvin: he'd speak to her mother instead of going to her house directly and knock on the door.
But then that would interfere with his studies... Molly thought absently.
So she spent the next day out of the house so her mother couldn't go to her room and simply hand her the phone. Though the looks Mrs. Baker shot at Molly when she had come home that evening made her feel bad enough to finally call Melvin and speak to him. He had sounded close to tears that Molly asked if he'd like to meet her in the park for an afternoon. Melvin brightened slightly, but informed her that he had a study group and could only meet her in the evening.
Molly had tried to keep the waves of bitterness and resentment at bay. The red head reminded herself of her resolve, of what her plan was, and she could hang up the phone without slamming it down. Molly wondered if she would have reconsidered her plan if Melvin had come over straight away, or skipped his study session.
She had tried to continue packing that morning but had given up fairly quickly. She wouldn't need any of her possessions when she joins Nephlite, and even if she did need anything she wouldn't know how to take any of it with her. Molly skipped out on productivity and went to the park as soon as her mother left the house.
Now that she was sitting on the park bench she didn't feel like she had the same resolve as she had a few days previous. Molly started to think that maybe she was going a bit too far and she was being foolish. Perhaps her mother was partially right: people do foolish things for love. But then why do people strive so hard to keep finding it? Why would Serena fight so hard to be with Dariend for the rest of her life if love didn't exist? What other words would describe how she still felt for Nephlite? And what he did for her? He died for her, to protect her. Molly would have done the same thing for him, in a heartbeat. If she had had the strength and the magic Sailor Moon or Nephlite had, she would use it to bring him back to life or turn back time to trade places with Nephlite.
Molly could feel tears start to form in the corners of her eyes. She blinked them as best she could while she searched her handbag for a tissue. Molly dabbed her eyes, careful not to smudge her makeup. She wasn't sure why she had bothered with it after she had called Melvin to tell him to meet her in the park. They had been going out long enough that she didn't really feel the need to wear it except on date nights. And those so rarely happened anymore.
The sun was nearly touching the horizon before Melvin came walking through the park. Molly still sat motionless, lost in her own thoughts. She hadn't noticed her own boyfriend until he sat down next to her, hands on his knees.
"Oh Melvin, hi." Molly said, startled.
"How was your day?" Melvin asked, worry creased his brow
"It was ok. I didn't get much packing done." Molly replied, adjusting her posture.
"I can't wait until next week. We scheduled a study break day for physics. Which is good. I need to look at my chemistry a little more. And I got the new Gundam DVD in the mail. We can watch it together." Melvin said.
Molly had felt her disappointment increase with every sentence Melvin spoke. There had been no kiss on the cheek, no holding of her hand, no asking her what she would like to do with him. Had their relationship always been that way?
Even old married couples hold hands... Molly thought as she slumped back onto the bench and watched the sunset.
It should have been a romantic moment: her sitting with her boyfriend in a park and watching the sun set together. Molly felt the furthest things from romantic.
"Molly?" Melvin asked after several minutes of silence.
"Melvin." Molly started, not really aware of how much time had passed since Melvin had finished talking about himself.
"Is something wrong Molly?"
Finally turning to face Melvin, Molly asked, "Would you die for me?"
Melvin's eyes filled with confusion at her question: he raised his eyebrows when he asked, "What's this about? What's going on?"
"Please, can you answer my question?"
"I would do anything for you."
"But, would you die for me?" Molly repeated.
"I guess so, yeah." Melvin replied, breaking eye contact with Molly.
Out of the corner of her eye Molly could see Melvin's feet begin to tap: a nervous habit Molly had picked up on.
I guess so yeah. Melvin's answer reated in Molly's mind.
Nephlite saved my life without thinking about. Without guessing. Molly looked back out at the sunset and continued her train of thought, Melvin saved me once without thinking, and now he can't tell me if he'd do it again?
"Molly, what's going on? Tell me." Melvin said, almost begging.
She turned to face him and inhaled deeply before replying, "Melvin, I think we need to breakup."
"Molly no!" Melvin cried, and after a moment of hesitation, "I love you!"
"I know, Melvin."
Molly felt calm, surprising even herself. She looked at her hands, briefly; they weren't shaking either. Instead, she felt light, relieved, like shackles had been removed.
Melvin reached out and grabbed her hands from her lap fiercely, "No Molly, I really love you."
Molly nodded, "I know."
"Please, please don't break up with me. I need you." Melvin pleaded.
"I have to Melvin, I have to." Molly said, "I'm so sorry."
"Don't apologize. You just have to stay with me."
Molly shook her head, "I can't."
Molly felt the tears fall down her cheeks: the goodbye was starting to feel bittersweet. She didn't want to hurt Melvin, and it pained her to see him falling in front of her. But it pained her just as much to stay with Melvin, and keep living the life they had created. A life she had created on her mother's omitted facts and half truths.
"I'm so sorry for breaking your heart. I'm so sorry for springing this on you. And..." Molly said, "I'm so sorry that I've never loved you the same way you've loved me."
Melvin's speechless expression of devastation nearly made Molly reconsider her actions. She had never seen a person so hurt or devastated before and she could hardly believe it was all because of her. But when she placed a hand over he heart and felt Nephlite's bandage against her skin she gathered the courage to finally stand. Melvin's hand grasped for her hand but Molly pulled it away as she turned. If she looked at him any longer she wasn't sure if her resolve would remain.
Molly's first few steps were unsteady as she got up from the bench, but they more steps she took the more fluid they became and her feet no longer felt like stumps. Molly walked past the bus stop that would take her home, and the next bus stop that could have taken her home, and the next. She made her way to the bus station that would take her to the second largest bridge of the city.
It crossed over one of the rivers that fed into the ocean, and prettier than most because it was built in a residential area instead of a commercial or industrial area. Molly could see all the details in her mind as she sat on the bus. She smiled to herself as she remembered wanting to take Nephlite for a walk across the bridge once and through the parks on either side. It was a silly romantic fantasy she had had when Nephlite was still alive, sort of out like the chocolate parfait idea that she always wanted to do. With Melvin going for a chocolate parfait had just never been romantic, but she wa sure with Nephlite it could have been. The bus pulled up to the stop at the park leading to the bridge: Molly could see it from her seat on the bus. It was a breathtaking image for Molly that she nearly forgot to get off the bus.
As she walked through the park, Molly felt a sort of calm envelope her again. For the first time since she had met Nephlite, Molly didn't feel the unrepentent sense of longing that he had produced in her four years ago. There was only one thing she wanted now, and she was going to get it.
Four long years...
Molly breathed with great relief as the bridge came into view. It looked beautiful with the last of the sun setting on the horizon behind it and the city lights glowing above. Molly pulled Nephlite's bandage out of her shirt as her foot made contact with the bridge. Molly walked to the middle of the bridge and stopped, leaning over the railing. The light's reflections twinkled on the water's surface. She held the bandage to her cheek and could almost feel Nephlite's hand there where she had placed the cloth.
"Oh Nephlite." Molly said, a small smile came to her lips.
Molly tucked the bandage into her shirt again, and for a moment, Molly thought she could smell Nephlite, as if he was standing just behind her. She felt tempted to turn around and see if he was standing there. But Molly kept her eyes forward, and her mind on her goal: she knew she would see him only afterwards.
"Nephlite, I miss you. All these years I tried to put you behind me, but I couldn't. I ended up living a lie," Molly whispered, out past the bridge's railing.
Nephlite's scent seemed to become stronger, and it felt as if he was putting his hands on her sholders. Still, Molly didn't let that deter her. There were few people walking on the opposite side of the bridge, and only a handful of cars drove by. Molly paid no attention to the passerby's, she took hold of the railing and climbed to stand on top of it. Molly heard a few surprised cries and a car stop, suddenly, tires squealing.
"Nephlite, I love you. You died for me, I don't know why, because I would have rather you lived. I would have died for you then, and I would still die for you today." Molly continued speaking, but at a slightly louder volume.
"Miss? Miss!" a man's voice called from behind her.
"Nephlite..." Stronger scent, "I don't know how to bring you back to me, so I'm going to have to get close to you."
"Miss, do you need help?" a young woman asked.
"Are you alright?" the man asked again, "Miss?"
She took a deep breath, looking out at the river again, "Nephlite," Molly said, "It's my turn to die for you now."
As Molly leaped off the bridge, she felt someone kiss her cheek. She knew instantly it was Nephlite, and as she fell, she fell with a smile.