Why did he feel this way?
The murderer had been taken away, Abby was safe Thank God! but he felt like crap.
Tony, all things said actually used some sensitivity and self control and kept the worst of his little digs and bad jokes to himself.
Ziva , well she was just Ziva and didn't hold him responsible for anything and had cleared her desk ready for the next case, even Gibbs had moved on like it was all over and stated that it wasn't McGees fault.
So why did he feel like HE was responsible for the deaths of three people and the very near death of Abby... Oh my god I nearly got Abby killed.
Mcgee slumped over his desk, his despair and frustration etched in lines on his face. Everyone had gone home even Ducky who had taken Palmer home in his car. Now McGee, who had mumbled excuses about reports to complete and would go home later, was the only one left.
Tim put his face into his palms and massaged his temples.. He was getting a headache and was feeling more than a little nauseous. He took a sip of what was left of a coffee Yuk.. cold Tim grimaced and threw the empty cup into the bin in disgust. He looked at his monitor and almost threw up, on the screen was the photographic images of the three people who had been killed by Landon all under the illusion that he was protecting special agent Mcgregor, Tims fictional hero from his book. Mcgee couldnt take his eyes from the pictures each face was someone he had seen and knew He just got married . The bodies grey and lifeless, eyes open and staring and each one mutilated without so much of a fore thought for human life..Oh god oh god that could have been Abby what have I done!..Tim groaned then almost in one action grabbed the nearest bin and threw up, his stomach churned and he heaved again, beads of sweat forming on his brow clustering over his eyes.
Finally he finished and shuddered, he avoided looking at his monitor where the dead were screaming silently to him, he managed to shut his computer down avoiding their lifeless eyes and the screen went blank. McGee drew in a deep breath and shuddered again pushing himself up from the chair then had to steady himself putting both of his palms on the desktop as the world seemed to shift on its axis. His breathing became shallow and quick, Tims vision blurred making him sway again closing his eyes. Breath McGee Breath! He managed to gain control again calming himself and slowing his breathing Stupid, stupid, stupid! Get a grip. McGee berated himself silently.
All paperwork completed and away he collected his belongings and moved towards the elevator his feet feeling like lead weights his mind still flashing pictures from the case, every now and then he had to steady himself as the room took a sudden lurch.
McGee called the elevator and waited resting against the wall it seemed like an eternity to arrive but finally here he stepped inside and let the doors slide shut behind him.