Notes: This is for the Songfic Challenge on the YJ forum. My song was Jizz in My Pants by Lonely Island. This is what resulted. Also, I took huge liberties with red kryptonite.
Crack ahead. Ye be warned.
You know how Christmas celebrations are supposed to be warm and heart-felt? Well this Christmas celebrations was anything but.
It all started when Superboy put on that damn bracelet.
"What is it?" Superboy lifted a simple bracelet with red stones weaved into the black yarn from its box.
Everyone was opening presents that they had exchanged with eachother earlier.
"Is it too girly?" Megan asked, brushing her hair behind her ear nervously.
Blinking, Superboy put on the bracelet, "No, it's fine."
"A new pair of sunglasses. Thanks, Superboy!" Robin gave Superboy a friendly thump on the back.
"No problem. Though I'm much more interested in seeing what's behind them," Superboy winked.
The room fell silent, all pairs of eyes widening. Did Superboy just…? No, it couldn't have. They must have misheard.
Kaldur coughed, breaking the awkward tension in the room. Seeing as Robin was too shocked, he asked the burning question plaguing everyone, "Come again?"
"Jealous, Kaldur? There's plenty of the Superboy to go around," Superboy said, dragging his hand down across his chest and to his navel seductively.
"Who are you and what have you done to Supey!" Wally shouted, pointing a finger at the "impostor".
"Oh, there's room for you to Wally. In fact, there's room for everyone."
Superboy leered. He honest-to-God leered.
"I'm gonna go call Batman! You four keep him occupied," Robin more or less ordered as he jumped off the couch and ran for command central.
"Aw, that's no fun! I wanted to see what made the Boy Wonder wonderful!"
"Superboy, you're not yourself. We—
Megan was cut off by Superboy's lips suddenly being on hers.
"You were underneath the mistletoe," Superboy explained, giving her butt and appreciative pat.
SMACK! The only result was Megan's hand hurting and Superboy just grinning.
"Hey, horndog!" Artemis shouted, getting Superboy's attention.
"Yeah, Sexy?" Superboy turned to face her.
"Made you look."
In milliseconds, Wally had Superboy duct taped from shoulders down.
"So kinky. I didn't know you were into bondage."
Just as Superboy began to break out of his duct tape bindings, Robin burst into the room.
"Remove the bracelet! It's made with red kryptonite!"
In a blur of motion, the bracelet was removed and the team held in a sucked in breath as Superboy stood frozen in place, an indescribable look on his face.
Slowly, he tore out of the bindings and walked to his room.
"You think he's going to be okay?"
"He's Supey. He'll get out of this funk in no time."
Superboy didn't leave his room for three weeks, no matter how much Megan apologized for giving him the red kryptonite bracelet.