"I want a baby."
Derek practically choked on his water as he listened to the love of his life declare that very bold statement from across the table. Her posture and stare were firm and her gaze was focused on his face. His heart sped up as he saw the determination and slight fear in his Baby Girl's eyes.
"Derek, I am getting older, and as many crazed women in cinema and sitcoms would say, my biological clock is ticking. I look at so many around us who have families, babies and stability and realize that is all I ever really wanted. Someone to come home to." Penelope looked at Derek as if she was reciting a memorized monologue she used in many plays before. She didn't dare look into his onyx eyes in fear of finding humor or disgust behind them.
"I know what you are going to say. Im a single woman who has a hectic work schedule and can barely take care of plants or gold fish. My colorful life may be too much stimuli for a small infant or even a toddler. That I should look into adoption or foster care. But Hot Stuff, you don't know what it is like to feel so empty and barren. I look into the mirror and glance down at my stomach and wish that there was something worthwhile growing inside me instead of stored body fat. I want to feel life within me and know that I am going to be able to look down at my own miracle."
Derek could feel his heart soar with pride and fear as she spoke. The thought of her being a mother was destined in his eyes. He knew she would be amazing with kids. She was so good with Ellie and watching her with Henry is one of his favorite things to do.
Hearing her speak of feeling empty and barren broke his heart. He understood that emptiness. He, himself, was aging. There was no denying it. He had no offspring to look at and claim as his own. Though he loved Clooney, he wanted to open the door and hear the pitter patter of feet and the squeals of laughter from his own kids, look across his home and see his woman holding their child with undeniable love and devotion. He wanted the chaos and blessings of being a father. Of being a husband.
Penelope Garcia spoke in rambles, humor and pop culture references. Her voice made him laugh, turned him on and guided him home whenever he lost sight of what was good in this life. She was worth everything to him and he wanted nothing more than to make her his.
However, she wasn't his.
He had known she had broken up with Lynch months ago. One of their reestablished movie nights settled that fact. The way she rested her bare feet in his lap while they watched their film and her new level of nearness to him indicated that she was once again a free woman.
Yet, as she sat there across from him, free and accessible to him, he could not ask her to be his. He felt undeserving of her love. She was his solace, and his nightmares plagued him deep into his life. He did not want to burden her with such darkness.
Though this may be true, as she spoke of babies and a future, his desire to be beside her burned like a wild fire. He needed to be her man to make every dream of hers come true, even if she didn't believe him right away.
"Derek. What do you think?" Penelope said with fear in her eyes.
He smiled and reached across the table to grasp her hand in his. Placing a kiss upon their joined hands, he looked up and with sincerity replied, "You will be a beautiful mother."
Tears filled her eyes and dropped as her gaze fell upon their joined hands. Placing a kiss upon his hand she murmured thanks upon him, afraid to meet his eyes.
"There is one condition," he said, separating them from their silence.
She lifted her gaze to meet his serious expression.
"Let me be your baby's father."
Penelope's face paled at his demand. It was her ultimate dream come true. The man of her dreams wanting to be the father of her child. However wonderful this seemed, she knew Derek. She knew his player lifestyle, his lack of desire for stability. Her heart swelled at the idea of bearing his child, but knew that he would more likely want to run. This desire to be the father of her child was strictly his need to protect her and keep her from other men. She had seen this with Battle and Lynch and did not want it anymore. "No, Derek..."
"Woman, there is no way you are having other man's baby but mine. Is that clear?" he said, his voice firm and commanding that sent a bolt of lightning down her spine that warmed her core and moistened her thighs. She nodded in agreement and looked down at their food.
While they sat in silence, each thinking of their different realities, Derek was first to break the silence. "So, how do you wanna go about this Penelope?"
She choked on her water at his question, the many thoughts of how to get pregnant burning through her mind. The idea of him thrusting into hear made her sweat and throb with want. When she met his eyes, she knew he recognized his desire for him and his eyes awakened in desire. Separating their joined hands, Penelope began fiddling with her napkin attempting to develop an answer for him in comprehendible english. "Well, um, we can look into artificial insemination."
"Oh hell no," he said straightening up and taking a deep drink of his beer. "We have enough passion to light this restaurant on fire, and our child isn't going to be created by the use of Rosy and Harry and a turkey baster!"
Penelope couldn't help but laugh at his description of that possible scenario of their child being created that way. However, she didn't believe that Derek would actually want her. She began the pull herself away from him and new tears filled her eyes. Tears filled with fear. Fear of Derek's rejection.
Derek sensed her pulling away from him and he could read the fear upon her posture. His heart broke at her lack of faith in him and his desire for him. "Penelope.." he whispered.
"Derek, you don't want me like that," she said trying to find the strength to be brave and confront her fear.
She didn't hear anything. No opposition. No defensiveness. Silence. Her heart stopped in fear that she was right and uncovered a land mine that would destroy their friendship forever.
That was until she felt his lips upon hers.
With power and devotion he placed his lips upon hers and pulled her body closer to him. His tongue prodded for entrance as she relaxed against him and her hand gently cupped his face. Her opposite hand pressed against his chest and was stunned at the rapid beating of his heart. She allowed herself to be lost in this moment with her Derek and was drowning in her passion for him.
Moments later, he nipped at her lips as they began to separate, him remembering they were indeed at a restaurant with many viewers watching them. He lifted his eyes to meet her blushing face and he brushed his thumb against her cheek. With a smile, he looked into her honey brown eyes and whispered, "looks like we are having a baby, Mama." Derek's heart boomed with a new pride as he realized that he would soon be a father with the woman of his dreams. Now he would need to work to make her love him the way that he loved her, unconditionally and passionate.
Penelope could only smile as she looked at the strong man across from her. She was certainly blessed that such a man would possess the desire to be the father of her child. Now she realized that she would need to do a better job of keeping her love for him a deeper secret, for her fear of him leaving now would tear her apart.