Okay, so this is Teddy considering his options while in his coma. Got inspired for no reason, really. I do not own If I Stay. Enjoy!
I remember a poster in my old classroom. This probably isn't the moment, but it just keeps springing to mind.
Make sure the choices you make today are the ones you can live with tomorrow.
I know that the poster probably applied to drugs or drinking or sex, but right now it's all I can think about.
The funny thing is, all those choices seem so minor right now.
I have a choice, but which one do I make? What happens when the choice will decide whether there's a tomorrow to live with at all?
I know that Mom and Dad are dead. I watched them die. Mia had already passed out in the backseat, but I was wide awake, listening to Spongebob. I watched the deer sprint across the road, felt the car swerve, heard the sickening crunch of impact as the car heading the opposite direction plowed into us.
I don't know how, but I could see every moment with absolute clarity. Mom was hit first, her chest caving in, her neck snapping forward. Dad smashed his head into the dashboard, and his skull split open, spraying blood and brains everywhere as he was flung through the windshield with Mom's lifeless body. Mia, still asleep, was simultaneously crushed by the collapsing roof and tossed off to the side of the road by the momentum of the crash, blood spurting from her twisted leg.
Then the pain hit me.
I was slung behind the car, my head searing from the impact of metal, chest burning from the explosion of the gas tank and the shattered ribs, legs flopping uselessly as they splintered.
I blacked out before I hit the asphalt.
When I came around, I was standing in the middle of the road, staring at what used to be our car, perfectly unscathed.
My first thought was to find Mommy, and go running to her while I cried so that she would shush me and reassure me that everything's alright. Then I remembered that Mommy was dead.
My second thought was to figure out how I was alive when I so clearly remembered the pain.
Then I looked down. Down at a mangled body.
Down at my mangled body.
The me-that-wasn't was splayed in a little puddle of dark red liquid that I tried not to think of as blood. My legs were bent at terrifying angles, with bits of shattered bone visible both poking through the skin and scattered on the blacktop. My face was horrible, like a half-melted doll. My shirt was soaked with more of the red stuff.
Did that mean that I was dead? I didn't feel dead.
I looked away, not wanting to consider that just yet. If I was dead, I would have plenty of time to think about it later. My more urgent issue was to try and find Mia, or at least her body.
It didn't take long. She was in a ditch, looking even worse off than me. That didn't interest me much. What did was the other Mia, the healthy Mia, looking down at herself with absolute horror.
"Mia!" I yelled, or at least tried to yell. My voice wouldn't work. I tried jumping up and down, waving my arms above my head. She didn't see me. Then the ambulances showed up and we were swept into absolute chaos.
Now I'm sitting in the Emergency Room, next to my slightly-less-grotesque body, trying to make an impossible decision.
I know, somehow, that the choice is up to me.
How can such an important decision be left to a kid?
One thing is keeping me on the fence: I know that Mia survived. I've heard Willow and the other nurse I don't know talking about her condition. She seems to be in the same state as me, and she's improving.
I can feel myself slipping away as I contemplate Mom and Dad. What would they want me to choose?
The answer to that is obvious: Stay.
What choice could I live with tomorrow… if there is a tomorrow?
That one is a little harder.
If I stay, I can be with Mia… but only if she lives. That decision isn't mine to make. Mia will have to choose.
If I leave… Mom and Dad will kill me all over again. But I'll also have an absolute guarantee of seeing my entire family someday.
I know that this is not just about me. What will Mia think if she hears the news of my death? Will that affect her decision?
Is it really so horrible that I hope it does?
I'm just a kid, and I have a choice. The choice has been made.
I know that Willow will understand, and she will mourn. But she's tough, and she still has Henry and the baby to help her.
I am feeling weaker now, and all the machines surrounding the other me are going crazy, trying to alert everyone to their failure.
I think of Mia. I hope she understands, too. I know that she always thought of me as a child instead of a brother, considering the age difference, and that this will devastate her. But she has Adam and Kim, and Gramps and Grandma and Willow…
I don't think she'll need me.
My "vision" is fading, and the me-that-isn't is currently being yanked around by about a dozen different nurses, including Willow, but it is too late. I have made my choice.
As my eyes close, I only have one last thought.
Mia, please forgive me… I can live with this choice.
Aww, poor Teddy.
Review! Please! For the sake of Teddy and his parents…