Title: Hope Among the Shadows
Fandom: Warehouse 13
Characters: H.G., Myka
They're sitting in Myka's room, on her bed, talking. Myka imagines that this is what it would have been like to have a best friend growing up: someone to bounce ideas around with, someone to compare notes with, someone to confide in.
Helena doesn't just listen to her, she hears her. It's something Myka's not familiar with. Helena gives her input. She asks her questions. She makes Myka think in ways she would never have considered otherwise. It's exciting and Myka has to admit, even a little addicting.
Despite everything that has happened to her, Myka can see that Helena has not lost her humanity. She has a zest for life that matches her own. They talk about everything those first nights, everything except themselves. Getting to know each other never really has time to happen. They were strangers, and then they were adversaries, now they're friends. There was never an in between with them. Myka finds herself yawning and can see the guilt in the other woman's eyes.
Helena doesn't want to leave, but she doesn't want to impose on the one connection she has in this world. "I should let you sleep," she says, an unusual blush creeping along her neck. Helena doesn't get nervous, but there's something about their fragile relationship that she wants to protect.
"Helena, how come you never get tired?" Myka asks, lazily. She's lying on her side propped up on her elbow, watching the other woman curiously. She's tired, but she isn't ready for Helena to leave. Any excuse to keep her for a few moments longer seems acceptable. She can see the wheels turning, as the other woman tries to form her thoughts into words.
"Physically I get tired, but after being bronzed..." she trails off for a moment, vulnerability is not something she's accustomed to sharing, "It's just too similar. Besides, I feel like I've spent enough time immobile to last me several lifetimes." She adds the last part, trying to lighten the sentiment, but Myka sees the truth.
"Helena," she says quietly, her voice is dripping with empathy.
Helena embarrassedly rolls her eyes, not altogether comfortable with the direct attention. "It's fine darling. I survived a hundred years. What's a few hours?"
Myka nods, but reaches for her hand. Covering the other woman's with her own. She stares at their joined hands for a moment and then looks up to find Helena watching her confused. "I didn't realize," Myka tries to explain, "I guess when, you told us about being bronzed... I tried to think about it as little as possible. No one should have to live through that."
The bitterness is not hidden in her tone and Myka feels no need to apologize for it. There are so many things about her job that she agrees with and even enjoys, but bronzing will never be something she can condone.
"Everyone gets lonely," Helena says, shrugging off her own emotions.
"But we don't have to stay that way," Myka says, exasperated with Helena's indifference. "Why don't you stay in here? I mean, if you want. You're more than welcome. The beds big enough and I don't mind." She looks down coyly, but doesn't back down.
"Darling," Helena says, chiding softly. "I'm a big girl. Besides, I think Artie might throw me back in the bronze sector, Regents be damned, if he thought I was taking advantage of you."
Myka shakes her head no, feeling her own emotions rise, "Don't! Don't make excuses. If you don't want to stay in here, I understand. But I'm not asking what is convenient for everyone else. I'm asking about you…about us."
Helena's breathe hitches and she tries to shove the ideas of how good the idea of 'us' sounds. It has been a long time since she has been a part of anyone, much longer than her time in bronze. "Do you want me to stay?" she asks with an open vulnerability that screams the need for truth.
Myka nods and bears her sole, "You're not the only one that gets lonely."
"Myka," Helena murmurs, softly, "All you ever have to do is ask."
Myka grins and sits up near her pillows. She pulls the blankets down quickly and stares at Helena expectantly. "Um, do you want something to change into?"
Helena laughs. Myka will never understand how healing her innocence is to her. "My rooms across the hall, love, not in another country. I think I can make it there and back, without abandoning you for long."
Myka grins and drops her head, "Sorry."
"Nothing to be sorry for," Helena says, rising to her feet and heading towards the door. "I'll be back in a moment," she promises, winking as she leaves the room.
Myka hugs her legs to her chest and rests her chin upon her left knee. She's excited and anxious, but mostly she feels pleased. It isn't often that Helena lets her in like this. She wants to do what she can for her friend, but is so often left with no clue how to begin. This is something they could both use. Maybe that is the key.
Moments later, Helena is back. She notices Myka is still sitting in the same position as when she left, obviously lost in thought. "Something on your mind?" she asks, sitting down on the free side of the bed facing Myka.
Myka looks at Helena curiously for a moment, surprised at not having heard her come back in. "Just really glad you're here," she says, grinning in open delight.
Helena smirks at the affection and Myka's boldness. "Me too," she replies, nodding seriously. They share a moment just staring at one another, before Myka breaks her gaze and giggles softly.
"Do you have a preference to side?" she asks, wanting to make Helena as comfortable as possible.
"Nope, your bed... you pick. I'm good with whichever." Helena stiffens slightly with a serious absent from most of their interactions and she reaches for Myka's hand, "I do appreciate this." Her words are no more than a whisper, but Myka hears the intensity in them, regardless.
"I'm always just across the hall," she promises and begins to climb under the covers. She smiles at Helena once more, before submerging them both in darkness. Helena follows suit and soon they are lying side by side staring up at the ceiling. They stay like that for several moments not speaking and not sleeping.
Myka takes comfort in the darkness, she always has. In the dark, she is just like everyone else and in those rare moments, everyone else is like her. Everyone is alone in the dark. Taking comfort from their current arrangement, she thinks of all the questions that race through her mind during the day. The questions she doesn't dare ask without the night's protection. "H.G.?" she asks, her voice unusually confident.
"Yes darling?" H.G. said, noticing the difference in her friend's voice.
"Why did you pick me? I mean, you could have connected with any one of us to get back into the warehouse. I've seen you manipulate people in less than five minutes, it could have been any of us." She holds her breath, not sure what kind of answer she is looking for or what kind of answer she's prepared to face. She doesn't like the idea of being used, but she knows H.G. had to use someone and the fact that their friendship has continued is sign enough to her that the other woman's actions were an unpleasant reality and not a lack of affection.
H.G. sighs and rolls to face her friend, "Are you sure you want answers Myka?" Their eyes have adjusted somewhat to the darkness and Myka studies her shadowed face.
She finally bites her lip and nods yes. "I need answers," She confesses softly.
"Okay, then," Helena starts, her tone cautious at best. She clears her throat and voices her thoughts, "I chose you because you are not easy to manipulate. Despite what you think, I didn't charm my way into your good graces. You were the only one whose judgments were her own. Whether their opinions were good or bad or even indifferent everyone had made up their minds except you. I never tried to manipulate your decision, because I knew that would be the one way to shut you out."
"How can I be sure?" Myka asks, not at all afraid of how Helena might take her concerns.
"That's rather simple. You can be sure because you question whether you're doing the right thing." She can see her words are not convincing and tries again, "Myka you're a strong person, much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I am not the one you need to be seeking answer from, they're inside you."
Myka groans, frustrated at the standstill. "I don't know if I can trust myself," she admits, sounding helpless. "I trust you anyways," she says, smiling affectionately at the other woman.
Helena frowns, worried by Myka's confession. "That can be a very dangerous thing, love." She caresses Myka's cheek softly, needing to connect on a deeper level than words can manage.
"You're more likely to hurt yourself than you are to hurt me," Myka says, sure of her words.
Helena laughs, the warm sounds resonating through the room. "So sure you have me figured out? I'm not the saint you think I am."
"Now who's not giving herself enough credit? Why are you so sure that you'll falter?" Myka sits up slightly, overtaken with frustration and anger. Helena is a good person. She is sure of that.
"Myka there's so much you don't know about me. You have to remember where I came from, who I was before I belonged to the warehouse. Every relationship in my life has been built upon lies. First, it was my sexuality, then it was my name, and eventually it was my job. I have never had the liberty of being honest with anyone."
"You don't have to lie with me." Myka says quickly. After she's met with nothing but silence, she nervously asks, "Have you?"
"And would your feelings change if I had? No, I haven't lied to you, but that doesn't actually mean that I have any idea on how to cultivate a relationship, even a friendship."
"Helena," Myka scolds, clearly annoyed at how much the other woman is overthinking things. "No one knows what they're doing. Besides, what's important is what you do with what you have."
Helena chuckles at being played this way. "What sentimental fool gave you that advice darling?"
Myka doesn't bother responding. She leans over and kisses Helena on the cheek. "Get some sleep," she urges, wrapping an arm around Helena's waist. She feels the other woman stiffen and smiles, "I'm not moving, get used to it."