Disclaimer: I don't own a thing except the story line.

Contents: This will contain inferences of rape, choice language, violence, and angst/drama. This story has a boyxboy/Manxman relationship that is subtle but there. This story will not contain any lemons or limes. Sorry to disappoint.

Summary: When he left I became nothing. I became like the winter snow-scape so silent, so dead. "There is no use wanting someone… who no longer wants you…" A retelling of events after Sasuke left through the eyes/perspective of both Naruto and Kakashi. The story focuses on Naruto's burden, his inner turmoil, and his journey from breaking completely, to becoming whole once more.


Thoughts

Words

"Speech"

"Relations in the Snow"


Written to:

Many wonderful music artists


"The obstacles of disappointment and resentment that hold us back in our clouded yester are constant. Yet, it is within our power to overcome the obstacles we face daily to find ourselves a sunnier morrow."
Hiro

"Now a single tear is dropping through the valleys of an aging face that this world has forgotten."


Can you remember?

Sasuke…

The feeling of that rain as it fell?

Do you remember the frigidness in which you left me?

Can you remember that day?

Can you?

Sasuke…

When you left me…

For dead


October 15, 2003

It was a Wednesday just like any other and the entire world seemed to keep existing as if nothing had ever happened. As if the trouble that seemed to have arisen sometime in the earlier months had never even taken place.

The 3rd Hokage had died; why did the world not seem to notice? We've worked for some time now without a Hokage and it has been difficult, but life continues as if nothing had ever happened. Even after his funeral… everyone went back to their proper duties.

Did they not feel it in the disturbance that had taken place?

That deep feeling of pre-exposed violence?

Something is happening… Something big. I can feel it…

The events of the past month had been looming over our heads and in all the confusion that dreadful anniversary had all but been forgotten. Or, at least it seemed to be the case.

Even the surface of still water speaks an infinite amount of lies.

My birthday… It's not even worth talking about. It's been difficult, I was just happy that I was forgotten this year...

The village has acquired a new Hokage recently, Tsunade; I trust that she is what is good for us now. I just hope that she doesn't let me down.

Yet who am I to expect such things?

-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-

A pale hand moved from its resting spot with lazy ease, the appendage finding solace upon its master's abdomen. It was quiet, perhaps as quiet as it would ever be for the moment.

It had been five days since the village's 13th anniversary of that day, the day the Nine Tails came. 13 years… Had it really been that long already? One would assume that the deep seed of hate would have lifted from the soil and begun to wash away with the passing rains, but apparently the village was like an expert gardener and continued to nurture its growth.

The hand that had previously rested upon its master's belly had since lifted to its owner's face, the palm pressed lightly against a forehead. They were clammy again; the night had not been a peaceful one. Cerulean hues opened to stare at the ceiling, the shades of blue filled with sorrow, and fear… He scoffed.

"Pathetic."

The emotions of a child were only hindrances to him, burdens unwanted, unasked for; things forced on him just like… His hand fell back to his stomach, the fingers clenching at the loose white fabric of his night shirt. He never asked for this, he only had the displeasure of enduring it.

A sharp knocking echoed through his tiny home. Its emptiness becoming more prominent as the incessant knocking continued on and on.

"Tch, so bothersome. NARUTO WAKE UP!"

Throwing the door open the strong urge to yell at the person surfaced but died down as quickly as it came. A pale hand lifting to rub at tired eyes.

"What is it Shikamaru?" There was a deep sense of dread boiling in the pit of the blue eyed boy's stomach. His cerulean hues settling on the lazy boy's face, a deep seriousness embedded in the others features. "It's Sasuke… He's left the village."

He was right… His hand pressed into his stomach, fingers clenching as he tried to contain his emotions.

"The Hokage has asked me to round up a team and the orders are to bring him back."There was a pause between them, its heaviness weighing on the blue eyed boys heart heavily.

"I understand." And with the short exchange Shikamaru was off, to find the rest of their team he assumed.

His heart felt heavy, his stomach weak as he stared straight at the spot the other once stood. While he saw he could not see, he could not feel his body was numb, he could not even think as his mind went blank.

Sasuke…

An intense feeling of sorrow washed over him like a heavy rain, his body moving of its own accord as he closed the door to his small empty apartment. It didn't have much, a small table, a bathroom, a small room. Nothing very special about it really… except for the memories. A deep sting penetrated his vision, the scent of unshed salty tears claiming the air. "Sasuke…"

Rage filled him. Anger flooding every pore erasing the sorrow that was once in its place, Sasuke was not going to leave. Sasuke was… He wouldn't allow it, not after… He stared at his reflection in the mirror he had unconsciously walked to. It was slightly dirty and was nothing that a little cleaner couldn't fix, but that wasn't the real problem.

Eyes that could see, but not comprehending stared back at him. The deep oceans becoming darker with his growing anger, Sasuke couldn't do this to him. To them… His hand instinctively grabbed the frame closest to him, his hand pulling back as he chucked it at his own reflection. It was as if everything was running in slow motion, his heart was heavy and his eyes narrowed in anger.

He was haunted by his memories, by those eyes; he could not take it anymore. Hot tears flooded his senses as he turned from the falling shards of his broken form. He would bring Sasuke back, even if he had to break every bone in the boy's body to do it.

Quickly he got dressed, trying to void emotions, all but the emotion of pure anger; within moments of being dressed he left his humble apartment to meet with his team. The broken shards of mirror lay in his wake, untouched, unaltered upon his dressers surface. The frame he tossed cracked and the glass broken as well, the picture he cherished the most he had destroyed. The picture of his team…

Everything seemed like it was only a blur.

"Don't tell me this is your full strength after all that talk about your way of the ninja?"

Sasuke's voice was harsh to blue eyed boy's ears, that pain showing its self once more but anger winning the battle as he stepped out from behind the tree that hid his body from view. He said nothing; he only stared as Sasuke moved to attack him within seconds of him appearing.

The events passed him like blurred memories on a wet canvas. The water, it was so cold that day the icy grasp clinging to his every pore. "What am I to you?" He bit out harshly, his oceans of blue narrowing in anger and resentment.

"Am I not your friend? Are you saying everything that team Seven went through didn't mean anything to you?"

Sasuke's tone was all but dead as he spoke in reply. "No. It wasn't meaningless. You have become my best friend."

As his eyes opened Naruto stood his ground. Sasuke's eyes were like blood red rubies filled with infinite darkness and thriving revenge.

"Became… your friend? Then why?" His voice sounded more desperate than he would have liked, but he didn't care anymore. This was Sasuke… He, he just couldn't leave. Sasuke couldn't leave him alone.

"That is why…" His thoughts were cut off by the sharp words of the other boy. "That is why… There is meaning in defeating you." He didn't understand this, he couldn't understand, he was confused but he knew this battle was important that this; whatever it was it was serious.

The events were vague even to him, but at one point he remembered dying. His eyes full of shock as the blood fled from his wound seeking some unknown and nonexistent refuge. Sasuke's hand was still in it, in the wound; in him. Hoarse words left him as he stared at the boy who had become so much more to him then just someone who shared equally his loneliness.

"How… could you?" He was betrayed. Even with a thousand years of apologies, nothing could not wipe away the feeling of the heartless hand that Sasuke dealt.

After that everything went black for him.

Darkness surrounded him, its walls clammy and its atmosphere dead. The silence is what drove him mad. The silence cutting through him... "Hello?" He was alone; no one was going to save him. No one…

After all… who could care about a monster like him…?

The blue eyed teen seemed to change into a child, his face growing younger and eyes wider, but the emotions were all there. The years of wisdom and age betraying his appearance. The emotions were all still the same, ever present and so bright. As the loneliness that claimed him gave way to an infinite pain and many sorrows a familiar sting of hot unshed tear clung to threshold of his sturdy wall was breached and the years of building to waste.

Hot tears of pain began flooding his face marring his clean flesh, the boy who looked to be only five fell to his knees and sobbed. Sobbed with all of his worth, for his betrayal and for his sorrow… But mostly for his heart's ache.

No one could help him now.

-'-'-'-'-'-'-'

The Naruto that had fought so hard to keep him near, to keep him in the village lay still upon the ground. Sasuke hovered over Naruto's still form in the wake of their battle.

"Naruto… I…"

Rain. Rain fell to the battlefield they claimed like a hail of bullets, each drop stinging their flesh with its frigidness. Sasuke could not stick around any longer and this was evident as his body fell to its knees as he coughed up more blood; the damage had been great. Staring down at the boy who had given his all to keep the other there he watched on with masked emotion. Yet, even a fool could see the remorse and pain they felt even if it was clouded with the deep seed of revenge.

"I am sorry Naruto…"

The words were barely audible over the sound of the rain and Sasuke was sure Naruto never heard them anyway. As if by some unknown force Sasuke left a parting kiss to the boys head before pulling himself away from the scene he left in his wake. Nothing could stop him from garnering the revenge he so desperately needed to fulfill.

"Why Sasuke? Why?"

A childish Naruto wailed into the darkness, his small fist wiping away the hot tears as they only kept being replaced by more. The pain was breaking him, breaking his body, breaking his mind, his soul. He needed the other. Wanted him, couldn't Sasuke see that?

The seemingly lifeless body of Naruto lay there, the hitai-ate of Sasuke's lay beside him. That is how Kakashi found him. Fear gripping Kakashi's heart in a death vice as he stared at the blond's still form hoping to everything that boy was not dead. That Naruto was not dead and with caution he approached, his eyes full of emotions jumbled into a messy heap. Naruto was worth more to him than he'd ever let on, and he was the only one in this world that knew as it was meant to be.

His form moved to kneel by the boy's side, unable to tell if the other was breathing or not only going by the very subtle movements of his clothing and from this he could only hope it was with the best of news and not the rain playing a cruel trick. His arms slipped beneath the boy's body, lifting him the way a groom would his bride, Sasuke's forehead protector resting upon his abdomen. His words were soft as he held the boy within his arms, the tone laced with remorse, guilt.

"I'm sorry… I didn't make it in time… Naruto… You went all out…"

A flash of white flooded the room, as Naruto's eyes opened while held in Kakashi's arms and a flitter of silver claimed his blurry vision. Relief flooded Kakashi's senses as he was now sure the other was alive but he knew he needed to go; for Naruto's sake.

As the world became dark once more, the world within Naruto's mind became that same room of nothing. The child-like Naruto stared back into the darkness, his cheeks slick with shed tears. There were not any left to shed and so he simply sat there in the infinite loneliness of his heart, his hands clenched tightly upon his thighs.

No one, no one could save him from that loneliness deep in his own dark mind.

No one


Thanks for reading. Please tell me what you think.