A\N: Spoiler Alert: The lyrics go "Thoughts still buried in time, we were closer then, I may drift a while." :' feel free to be hipster enough to pick up on those lyrics … ;; yeah. BEIRUT LYRIC REVIEWS = FASTER CHAPTERS. They make me feel less alone. Um, there are about only three chapters left anyways. Yeah.
He picked at a loose thread on the elbow of his sweater. Toshio was behind him, practically breathing down his neck. He had been angrily staring at him for the past hour and a half.
Seishin was perplexed. He had assumed that Toshio was hungry, and set a plate of pancakes down in front of him. The pancakes remained untouched, and Toshio's expression had not changed. If anything he seemed angrier.
He had come home to a broken window and a maimed couch. Toshio had collapsed on the floor, Cherbourg over his clothes. What had he been doing?
The jinrou had returned to playing with the loose thread.
"That… That can't be fun, can it?"
Seishin narrowed his eyes.
"Can I sit here?"
He moved over in response.
"… Uh… Thanks."
"... How was your date yesterday?"
Seishin shook his head. "I didn't go on one."
Toshio gave him a lame laugh. "Did you break up with him already?"
"Toshio… He's my editor. We're just friends."
"…What?" He frowned.
"... You seemed upset yesterday." Seishin gestured to the leftovers from the previous night.
He sighed, and put an arm around Seishin, inadvertently drawing him closer to him.
"… What are you…?" He squeezed his eyes shut.
He broke out of Toshio's grasp.
"You're not going to move, are you?"
There was a thoughtful silence. Then, "… No."
The doctor laughed a little. "That's good."
He suddenly lost the desire to talk. Or perhaps he had never had it. Toshio was largely unreceptive. He had always been that way. The letters he had sent from medical school seemed to be packed with empty questions. "How are you? Is everything okay?"
In Sotoba, nothing ever changed.
How is the wife? But he wasn't that undignified. Instead, he sat and waited for Toshio to converse with himself.
But he didn't. Instead he turned the television set on, and flipped to a highly inconsequential station. Hysterical women were screaming at a supposedly handsome doctor.
It was strange. He was sitting in a room for Toshio, waiting for a problem to resolve itself. In his defense, the problems had seemed to disappear before. He would smile and nod for a bit, and then Toshio would leave. The nausea would confine itself to his wrist. He was fine with that. It was possible to shield his wrist underneath the inky kimono.
There was just a watch on top of the scar now.
He realized he was going to have to speak. Toshio was contemplating something.
He cleared his throat. "… I… slept with your wife."
The other man put his arm around him once more. "I know."
"Don't apologize." It seemed like a command.
Seishin refrained from saying anything else.
"… Damn. I don't have people skills, do I?"
"Anyway, Kyouko told me. She sounded rather pleased with herself." Toshio shrugged. "I don't think I care anymore."
"… I thought I told you to stop apologizing." He sighed. "Hey Seishin, can I ask you a question?"
"… You already did." It was a terrible joke.
Toshio looked mildly irritated. "… Right." He ran a hand through his hair. "… There's this guy…"
"Tell him that you're not interested."
He sighed. "No… I am interested… I think…"
"Toshio… Don't jump into things…"
He waved away Seishin's concern. "I won't. Besides, you're pretty patient, aren't you?"
"Toshio… I don't want a pity-date."
The doctor pulled the jinrou closer to his body. "It's not…"
He brushed Seishin's hair back, and leaned inward. His face was red, and his eyes were closed.
The jinrou was confused.
"Sorry." Was it supposed to be a kiss?
"Don't push yourself too hard."