I don't own Glee.
The first time Kurt Hummel actually thought about his weight as a problem was back in his sophomore year at McKinley. It had been during that god awful week when Sue Sylvester had ordered her cheerios to drop a couple pounds so they would look perfect for a reporter that was supposedly coming for an interview and performance. If there was one thing Kurt knew how to do other that dress fashionably was eat healthy, avoiding everything involving grease and ridiculous amounts of salt.
He had always thought of himself as a thin teenage boy, but his mindset slowly began to change after a remark Sue had made about him during that week. Looking back on the moment, he couldn't remember exactly what she had told him, just recalling that it had to do with the fact that he had hips like a pear.
Generally, Kurt had brushed it off, knowing that that was just what Sue Sylvester did. She insulted people mercilessly and half the time the remarks weren't true. However, the tiny seed of a thought had been planted and he found himself from time to time standing in front of the mirror, scrutinizing every detail of his pale body.
He would stand in his skin tight jeans, shirtless in front of the mirror, turning every which way to look at his body from every angle. Kurt would pinch and pull at the skin that stretched over his hips, wondering if the crazy cheerleading coach had been right. And every time, Kurt would put a shirt on with a decision to eat healthier than he already did (if that was even possible).
Getting dressed in the morning, he subconsciously avoided looking at his stomach and hips, and slid on the designer clothes as quick as possible. The clothes hid him and he was happy about that. When people looked at him, they saw the outlandish clothes he wore, not his weight and build.
Then he had transferred to Dalton and was stuffed into a stiff uniform and once again, the thought arose. People wouldn't even send what you're wearing a second glance, seeing as they were also wearing it and would be wearing until the end of their schooling career at Dalton Academy. Kurt couldn't help it as the thoughts flooded his mind, telling him that people would see him for what he really was now.
Once again, the bright eyed boy forced the thoughts from his head, promising himself to eat even better.
After his dad's heart attack, Kurt had obviously been forcing the older man to eat better, fearing the possibility of another heart complication. Sure, his dad would complain about the lack of flavor and altogether how much he disliked the food, but Kurt was stubborn and all but shoved the tasteless food down his father's throat. You would think that he would feel accomplished or proud to see his dad get healthier and even drop a couple of pounds, but to be honest, he felt a little jealous.
Kurt was nearly five feet and ten inches and all the doctors and websites he had just happened to browse told him that he was in the range of what the healthy weight should be, but he couldn't help but have a feeling of doubt and disagreement. When he stepped on the scale he saw the number rise and rise and rise until it finally stopped on a hundred and forty six pounds. He had been that weight for as long as he could imagine. Even staying that weight through all the times he tried to eat healthier than he already had been, but his dad seemed to lose a few pounds the first time he eats healthy and in Kurt's mind: it wasn't fair.
But again, with all the other thoughts that had crossed his mind alike that one, he made sure it left his mind as quickly as it had entered and tried to continue on with life normally.
That was until of course he had fallen completely and utterly in love with one Blaine Anderson.
Kurt was no stranger to the feeling of love and heartbreak. At the time, he had thought that he was totally in love with Finn, but now that he looked back on it he could honestly say it was just a misguided crush. He was being bullied without any friends and he just wanted someone to be there for him and Finn had been the only jock to show at least a smidgeon of compassion towards him, hence the falling head over heels. But just because it was a crush, didn't mean it didn't hurt to feel rejected.
Again, Kurt Hummel ignored the hurt and told himself that Finn was just straight and if he was gay he would totally be in to him.
Then there was that brief embarrassing stint with Sam. Lima, Ohio was certainly not crawling with young gay teens so obviously when he saw Sam and his ridiculously blonde hair, Kurt got excited. Kurt held onto the hunch about his brightly colored hair, telling himself that anyone who dyed their hair that color had to bat for his lonely team. If he was being completely honest, he would probably admit to himself that some straight men could dye their hair and Kurt just wanted someone to be like him and understand what he was going through. And even though he hadn't even known him long enough to even call himself his good friend, when Quinn and Sam sung the duet it didn't mean it didn't hurt to be rejected.
Again, Kurt Hummel ignored the hurt and told himself that Sam was just straight and if he was gay he would totally be in to him.
But then there was Blaine. Sweet, kind, talented, gorgeous Blaine who Kurt wanted nothing more than to kiss senseless and never let go, but of course he couldn't because they were just friends. At first when he met Blaine, he was overwhelmed by the fact that he had found someone else like him (excluding the closet case that was Karofsky) who held his hand both literally and figuratively. Then he actually got to know the curly haired boy and couldn't stop himself from falling in love with him. But then he had serenaded the Gap who needed to find himself a pair of scissors if he actually wanted to stay in the closet. Kurt would have been utterly torn up about this, yet after their conversation in the coffee shop, Kurt reassured himself that the older boy did have feelings; he just didn't want to screw their friendship up.
He ended up screwing it up anyway when he decided to kiss one of his friends at a party a go out with them even though that person lacked a penis. To say the fight hurt was an understatement. Blaine had practically told him that he liked him but was bad at relationships and then jumped into one with Rachel after one drunken kiss.
This time Kurt Hummel couldn't ignore the hurt and tell himself that Blaine was straight and if he was gay he would totally be in to him, because he wasgay and he totally was not in to him.
And that's when that pesky little thought popped into his brain yet again. For almost a year now, Kurt had been telling himself that he was not repulsive and he was being ridiculous but this changed everything. A gay guy would rather jump into a relationship with a girl than be with him. If that wasn't a red flag, he didn't know what was.
Kurt stood in front of his mirror, yet again, looking over his features and body, deciding that he was going to make himself perfect no matter what.
So this is just the prologue which means the other chapters (if you guys like the story) would be much longer.