Pirate

SexyPirate6: Arrgh~

Ichigo15: OMG STFU

SexyPirate6: U STFU

Ichiog15: U

Ichigo dropped his head to the desk and closed his eyes as he groaned. Grimmjow could not be serious about this. No. He was totally yanking his chain. There was no way in hell Grimmjow Jaegerjaques was going to go through with this; right?

SexyPirate6: Where'd ya go?

Ichigo15: You killed me. Shut up nao

SexyPirate6: Fuck u. And I no wut yer thinkin

Ichigo15: No u don't! Get out of my head ass hole

Ichig15: Asshole*

SexyPirate6: Yer thinkin' I won't do it

Ichigo15: I know you wont

SexyPirate6: Fuck you I won't

Ichiog15: Why did you change ur screen name idiot?

SexyPirate6: Because it's hot and i can

Ichigo15: idiot

Grimmjow smirked at his laptop and stretched backwards in his chair. He was so doing this shit tomorrow. And he'd look amazing doing it too.

Ichigo15: you wont do it

SexyPirate6: …

Ichigo15: You don't even have time to get a costume

SexyPirate6: ever heard of improvising?

Ichigo15: fuck

SexyPirate6: Oh we will. tomorrow

Ichigo15: *groans*

SexyPirate6: youll do that too :D

Ichiog15: I gotta go, my dads yelling at me

SexyPirate6: dream about me

Ichigo15: NO!

SexyPirate6: You so will *mwhahahahahah*

Ichigo15: …..

Ichigo15: whatever. see ya

SexyPirate6: yeah ya will

Ichigo15: *rolls eyes* LATER GRIMMJOW *idiot*

Ichigo15 is offline 1:10 am IMs are delivered when the buddy signs in. Send Ichigo15 a text message

Grimmjow signed out as well and closed his laptop, standing and stretching once again before walking over to his overstuffed closet to find something that could serve as a decent costume for the next day.


Ichigo was waiting in front of the school for Grimmjow, who was late again. Ichigo smirked, thinking that Grimmjow had actually chickened out of the impromptu dare and looked at the time on his phone again. The bells would be chiming soon and he'd have to get to class. Ichigo shoved the phone back in his pocket and sighed, cracking his neck before looking back in the direction that Grimmjow usually walked to school in. And then his mouth dropped open and his heart stopped in his chest. Holy fucking shit he did it!

Grimmjow sauntered up to Ichigo with a wide grin on his face and placed both hands on his scantily clad hips. Ichigo's eyes roamed over the other young man's form slowly and he tried desperately to stop them from bugging out of his head. On top of a still wild mane of light blue hair sat a wide brimmed black pirate hat, complete with fluffy white feather. Further down Grimmjow had chosen a tight fitting stripped half shirt that barely covered his nipples and left him mostly exposed from the waist up. Tighter than tight black boy shorts ridged in red left little to the imagination and the red lacing down the front only drew more attention to the fact that they barely fit Grimmjow. Lean muscled thighs were bare to the elements down to Grimmjow's knees where the black knee-high leather stiletto heels finished the package off nicely.

Grimmjow cocked a hip. "Toldja I'd do it. And I look fuckin' hot too."

"You… you have hairy legs." was the only thing that Ichigo could say before he burst into laughter and pointed at Grimmjow's belly. "You didn't even get rid of your happy trial!"

Grimmjow cocked his hips to the other side. "You didn't say I had to shave."

"You can't do drag and be hairy Grimmjow!" Ichigo stuttered through his snickering. "Oh God, it hurts." he said, clutching his stomach.

"So what, I still win. And now you have to do it with me."

Ichigo snorted and tried to cover it with more laughter.

"Mr. Jaegerjaques what in the world are you wearing to school!"

Both Grimmjow and Ichigo jumped and turned to see the irate teacher approaching them.

"I thought it was spirit day." Grimmjow lied smoothly and a thin black eyebrow rose in irritation.

"This school's mascot is not a pirate nor a cross-dressing one at that, Mr. Jaegerjaques."

Grimmjow smirked. "Well shit. Guess I fucked up then, huh, Mr. Kuchiki?"

"Principal's office. Now."

Ichigo was biting his lip so hard he was surprised it wasn't bleeding and the bells finally began to chime.

"I suggest you get to class, Kurosaki. Or I'll suspend you as well just for associating with this idiot."

Ichigo nodded and walked off to class, but not before pulling out his phone and catching a highly posed for picture of Grimmjow in pirate drag.


Ichigo15: one question

SexyPirate6: shoot

Ichigo15: Where the hell did you get that shirt?

SexyPirate6: …. I have my sources

Ichigo15: …

SexyPirate6: What?

Ichigo15: you… own that shirt. don't you?

SexyPirate6: … maybe

Ichiog15: and the boots?

SexyPirate6: Hey, lets not be talking about my costume. you owe me sex!

Ichiog15: *snort* idiot

END


RenjiNnoitra

Baking

Special brownies

"Who told you to try and burn the house down asshole?" Renji screamed and Nnoitra glared at him.

"Yeah 'cos I totally fucking did this one purpose fucktard."

"Jesu…. Look at the stove! And you burnt the fucking brownies man." Renji placed a hand on top of his head and tried to think about how much money had just been wasted because of Nnoitra.

"I told you I didn't do it on purpose. And it ain't like they're inedible."

Renji looked up at the stupidly tall man and stuck a finger in his chest. "Fine! You eat the black bricks that used to be pot brownies."

Nnoitra rolled a single eye and reached inside the stove for the pan, immediately yanking his hand back with a hiss.

"Ow. Fuckin' hot."

Renji rolled his eyes. "How much batter did you eat?"

"None!"

"Liar!"

Nnoitra grumbled and bent again, this time grabbing a potholder before reaching in the still slightly smoky stove and pulling out a pan of near black brownies.

"Fuckin' A dude. That's like… a hundred bucks."

Nnoitra snorted and dropped the pan on the counter. "Yer math's wrong, stoner."

"Fuck you."

Nnoitra grabbed a knife from the block and looked at it for a moment, seeing his reflection and noticing that he still had chocolate on his face. He frowned and wiped it away, licking his fingers before shoving the knife into the heart of the black mess. It stuck with a dull thud and stood up straight when Nnoitra let go and the man couldn't help but chuckle.

"Heh. The brownies have great strength." he muttered and Renji shot him a glare.

"You did eat the batter." he grumbled.

"Shut up. It's not that bad."

Nnoitra reached for the handle of the knife and tried to pull it out, only managing to take the entire contents of the pan with it. Nnoitra's lips twitched before he cleared his throat and looked down and Renji, shoving the blackened brick in Renji's face.

"Wanna bite?"

"Retard, get that out of my face."

Nnoitra lifted it and opened his mouth, biting down experimentally and finding that it was going to be a bit of a task. He frowned at the thing as he pulled it away and walked to the refrigerator, reaching inside and pulling out a half empty gallon of milk. Still holding the skewered brownies Nnoitra then walked to the cupboard that held the glasses and poured himself a tall glass of milk. He looked at the brick again and sighed before smashing it against the counter as hard as he could.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

"I'm breaking it up." Nnoitra said calmly before doing it again.

"You're gonna break the counter idiot!"

A small piece broke off and Nnoitra reached for it, dropping it in the glass of milk that had somehow stayed upright while Nnoitra had been pounding away on the counter. Nnoitra set the brownies and knife down and picked up the glass, swirling it a few times before dipping his long fingers inside and pulling out what looked like a soggy piece of coal. Renji's lip curled as he watched the other man shove the whole piece in his mouth and chew experimentally. There was a loud crunch and Nnoitra stopped moving his mouth before trying again.

"'fot 'at 'ad." he said, dribbling a little milk down his chin and wiping it away with the back of his hand.

Renji continued to frown but grabbed a smaller piece and yanked the glass of milk out of Nnoitra's hand. He dunked the piece in the milk before putting it in his mouth and chewing far more carefully than Nnoitra had at first. He managed to swallow it and his lip curled again as he set the glass back on the counter.

"That's disgusting."

Nnoitra snorted. "Yeah, but it'll still work."

"You are not allowed in my kitchen ever again."

Nnoitra nodded. "I hate cooking."

Renji rolled his eyes and grabbed the knife, placing the entire brownie back in the pan and pouring the rest of the milk over it. Nnoitra raised an eyebrow and nodded.

"Niiiiiice."

Renji smirked. "That's because I'm smarter than you."

Nnoitra snorted. "No yer not. I'm just too stoned from all that batter I had."

Renji flipped him off and took the pan out to the living room so they could finish their video game.

"I knew you were a liar."


Cowtipping

Shinji Urahara

"Moo."

"Shh, you'll scare the cows."

Urahara sighed and shook his head. "Won't pushing them over while their sleeping scare them quite a bit?"

Shinji thought for a moment. "Probably."

"So why worry about scaring them now?" Urahara asked.

Shinji sighed. "Are we doing this or not?"

Urahara flipped out his fan and hid behind it. "My, you get so angry when barely provoked."

"Shh!."

Shinji hopped the flimsy fence and started towards three cows that were closest to him. He'd always wanted to try this. Urahara was right behind him, silent as a cat. When they approached the first cow Shinji reached out and touched it, rubbing his hand over the course hairs of the beasts' side. He turned to Urahara.

"Okay help me tip it."

"Oh no. You only said you wanted me to come with you. I'd rather not… touch it."

Shinji frowned. "I asked you to come help me."

Urahara smiled from behind his suddenly materialized fan. "My dear Shinji you are quite wrong. What you said was, and I quote, 'Kisuke, come with me to tip cows tonight.'"

Shinji rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine." he huffed and placed both hands on the side of the creature.

Shinji pushed with all his might, grunting and gritting his teeth, but nothing happened. He stopped, stood up straight, and took a deep breath before trying again.

"It's not working." Urahara put in unhelpfully.

"No shit." Shinji snapped.

"Try doing it a different way."

Shinji gave Urahara a look of incredulity before he turned his body and leaned back against the cow. He tried usuing his legs for leverage this time and still the thing refused to budge.

"This… this one's broken."

Urahara snorted and hid his entire face behind the fan this time.

Shinji scowled. "I'm trying another one."

Three cows later and none of them tipped, Shinji sweating from the effort, the blond threw his hands up in the air and growled.

"Fuck this!"

Urahara snickered and the other blond slapped his shoulder.

"Whoever said that this was possible is a fucking liar." Shinji grumbled as the two walked back to the fence.

Urahara nodded. "Perhaps next time if you have another set of hands…."

Shinji only glared at him before hopping the fence and stomping back home, making sure to leave Urahara in his dust. Stupid cows.

END


Snow

Chibi Grimm, Ichi, Nnoi and Szayel

Featuring Unohona Sensei

"Snow is cold." Nnoitra, the tallest kid in class, said as he sneered at he white stuff falling from the sky.

Unohona sensei nodded indulgently at him and smiled. "Yes it is, Nnoitra. Do you know why?"

Grimmjow jumped up and raised his hand high in the air. "Can we play outside?"

"Wait until Nnoitra answers the question first please."

Nnoitra's brow furrowed as he thought. A small, pink haired boy cleared his throat and smirked.

"It's because it starts out as water way up in the sky and then it freezes so it falls as snow."

Unohona sensei looked at Szayel and smiled, though the atmosphere around her started to change.

"Thank you but Nnoitra was asked the question. Perhaps in the future you can wait your turn, Szayel."

All four boys seemed to cower before the woman smiled, this time a real smile, and clapped her hands in front of her.

"Now who wants to play in the snow?"

END


Fangirl #1: You know what would be a totally crack pairing?

Fangirl #2: Lots?

Fangirl 3#: Oh! I know! Byakuya and Kenpach-

Fangirls #1 and #2: EW!

Fangirl #3: What? I can totally see it happening.

Fangirl #2: No. Just… no.

Fangirl #1: *nods*

Fangirl #3: Fine *crosses arms* What would you pick as a crack paring?

Fangirl #2: Aizen and Yamamoto.

Fangirls #1 and #3: FAIL!

Fangirl #1: I'd pick… Hanataro and Ukitake.

Fangirls #2 and #3: ….

Fangirl #1: What? Fine, how about Hanataro and Kenpachi?

Fangirl #3: What is with you and Hanataro?

Fangirl #1: He's soooooo cute~~~

END


"Did… did you read it?" Grimmjow asked and Ichigo nodded.

"Yeah. I wish I hadn't."

"What the hell is it with these chicks? Why does everyone have to… do… stuff like… THAT?"

Ichigo shrugged and shook his head. "I will never get girls."

Shiro started cackling from in front of the computer and turned to look at both men. "Oh shit. You'll never guess what you two just did with a lollipop!"

Grimmjow and Ichigo looked at each other and shivered violently.

"I don't think I want to know." Ichigo said, looking a little green.

"Me either."

Shiro snorted and grinned mischievously. "You stuck it in-"

"AH! NO SHUT UP!" Grimmjow shouted.

"IN ICHIGO'S ASS AND THEN PULLED IT OUT AND-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSHOLE!" Ichigo yelled.

Shiro stuck out his tongue and flicked it in the air a few times. "Licked it."

"Who wrote this shit? I'll hunt them down and rip them limb from limb!"

Ichigo groaned and sank to his bed. "I'm… canceling the internet."

END


A/N Because we all go a little mad sometimes~ You all can blame Storm for the first part, Neko for the second, Nox for the third, Running and Luna for the fourth, and the rest on myself. I asked everyone for prompts and this happened. may do it again because it was pretty damn fun ;p

Hope you all enjoy~

~Penny

Grimmjow's pirate ensemble can be seen here: http : / meromo . files . wordpress . com / 2006 / 12 / story - book - 09050 - sexy - pirate . jpg