Title: Desktop Desires: The Scruff Files
Summary: Bella has a problem...she's just a tad bit distracted at work. Who knew facial hair could drive you crazy?
Word Count: 499
Rating: Always go with M to be on the safe side
Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, but I do own a collection of rob porn that borders on psychotic! (Is it not normal to own a laptop exclusively used to hoard robporn?)

I rubbed my legs together, focused on the object of my desire; his scruffy face driving my fantasies till I could almost feel it tickling the tender skin of my thighs. Who are you kidding Bella, you just desperately need a wax.

"Bella, if you don't stop rubbing your legs together, someone's gonna call the Orkin Man."

"Shut it, Alice."

"I'm serious...sounds like an army of crickets has been let loose."

"Alice, I swear to fuck..."

"Is there a problem ladies?"

"Nn-no Mr. Cullen...not at all." I stuttered like a starstruck little girl. Pfft...little girls don't wanna do those kinda things with their bosses Bella. God, why can't he just shave more often? I can control myself so much better when he's as smooth as a baby's bottom. You know smooth might be nice as well...This man is literally making me crazy...not only am I talking to myself, apparently my subconscious is answering back!

I tried to pay attention to the rest of the meeting, honestly. But how can a red-blooded, hormone filled, haven't gotten laid in a while... A long while...Shut it! I'm just sayin...ANYWAY, how's a girl supposed to pay attention to facts and figures when a 6 foot tall Adonis, sporting sex hair, two days worth of scruff, piercing green eyes, and an Armani suit prances his pretty ass back and forth in front of us? I bet he has a big dick. Yeah I bet he does too. High five sista! I raised my hand before I realized I couldn't high five myself!

"Do you have a question Miss Swan? I merely mentioned that clients names are in alphabetical order, but I'd be happy to explain for you..." A smirk appeared amongst the stubble forest lining his face. " You see, it starts ABCDEFG..." he sing-songed. Muffled snickers broke out amongst the employees.

Ugh! Smart ass! I wanna fuck that smug look off his scruffy face! I could feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I refused to look at him, lest I (or my panties) burst into flames. I could hear the smirk in his voice as he continued his presentation.

"So as I was saying, I have thought long and hard about how to give our clients what they need..."

Oh baby...I bet its long, hard...and exactly what I need.

"I want everyone who comes here leaving satisfied. I know we've done them right when they walk out with a big smile on their face."

Is it just me, or is he TRYING to make me crazy? No, its not just you. I totally agree...wait...am I agreeing with myself? Yes, I think you are. Well...as long as we are on the same page...

I made note to call my shrink later. Apparently we have things to discuss. I agree, like your facial hair fetish... That's not what I was referri...His face-fuzz IS amazing, isn't it? Makes my kitty wanna use him as a scratching-post. MEOW!