The Jukebox contest
Song choice: Cruel to be Kind
Word Count: 3,387
Summary: Jealous Bella can't get over her feelings for her best friend, Edward, who happens to be her ex-Dom. Will he move on and replace her? Lemony-goodness!
Disclaimer: I own two tickets to see Toad the Wet Sprocket in April. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.
"Now, be a good girl and suck my cock."
She didn't hesitate, her hand finding my button-fly just as her knees touched the floor. She pulled my dick out slowly, gave it a quick pump and leaned in to lick around the head.
Wrapping her fingers around the base she angled my cock north and licked from base to tip then, popping the head between her lips, her tongue lapped and circled while her hand stroked.
"Oh, fuck. Yes."
She started sucking and licking in earnest. Her other hand came up and gently cupped my balls. I could feel my climax approaching quickly.
I placed my hands on her head and gave her hair a tug. She knew the cue. Her hands instantly dropped down to her sides and she stilled her ministrations. Her mouth, wrapped around my dick, hinted at a smile.
Wrapping my hands up in her hair I slowly pushed her face forward onto my cock until her nose touched my pelvis.
Not needing to be told twice, she grabbed at the skin just below my ass with both hands and squeezed, hard.
I pulled her head until her lips were almost off my dick and pushed her back in all the way to the base. I stared transfixed at the sight of her taking all of me and groaned. She kept her eyes on my face and hummed in response. My eyes closed at the sheer pleasure her mouth could bring.
"Your mouth feels so good on my dick. So good."
A sound across the room grabbed my attention and my eyes opened to find the sound. I had almost forgotten that we weren't alone.
"We're friends right?"
I looked up in surprise. His green eyes were mischievous but his smile was tight, almost forced. I reached out my hand to his and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
He grabbed my hand with both of his and a huge grin lit up his beautiful face. A warm wind blew through his copper hair making it dance in the breeze. I may have gasped at the sight of him.
"Always." He repeated. His thumbs softly stroked my knuckles. "Good. Are you two free this Friday night?"
My stomach clinched in anticipation for play. My smile couldn't hide my excitement.
"I'll have to double check, but I believe we're free." He licked his lips and looked down at our joined hands before speaking.
"Dinner at 7, my house. There's someone I'd like you both to meet." He looked up quickly at my face, gauging my reaction with trepidation. I forced a smile.
"Isn't she a sight. Mmm. So fucking hot sucking cock."
I glanced back down and saw her brown eyes watching me, a question in her stare. I massaged her scalp and gave her a reassuring grin. She hummed and continued sucking with renewed vigor, almost putting me over the edge again.
"That…ugh… she is. Such a good cocksucker."
Sensing movement, I glanced up and saw him approach. He watched her with rapt attention while palming his erection through his jeans. He stopped at the dresser and opened a drawer, with a furrowed brow he searched until he found what he needed. He pulled out a flogger and raised an eyebrow silently asking my permission. Can I play too?
His request wasn't unusual, but I still hesitated. Things were different now. He had officially 'handed over the reigns' to me weeks ago, yet he continued to step in on our play.
Instead of over-thinking things, I decided to stay in the moment. This is for her. I barely nodded at him before focusing back on her mouth and the pleasure it was giving me. After a moment, or three, I withdrew my hands from her hair and placed them on her shoulders, squeezing gently.
"That was just right, baby. So good. But, I don't want to come in your mouth today."
I pulled her up with a soft tug on her shoulders and met her mouth hungrily with mine. I wrapped my arms tightly around her body and poured all of my love and appreciation into the kiss. She opened her mouth to me and grasped my hips getting into it. I pulled back and took her hand in mine.
I led her to the bed and motioned for her to climb up. She did and immediately assumed a position on her hands and knees. Her head dropped down in supplication.
Kate was nothing like I had expected. I knew she would be beautiful. Her long blonde hair was perfectly highlighted and styled and framed her lovely, bright blue eyes just right. Her smile was warm and genuine. The unexpected part was that she seemed innocent. Seemingly unaware of what we three were to each other. It made my blood boil.
"Excuse me, I just need the restroom." I plastered on my best smile and avoided eye contact with everyone trying not to sprint from the living room where we had been enjoying dessert and drinks.
I found the familiar room easily and entered and locked the door. Flipping the light on, I took a long look in the mirror. Get a grip. You are here to support your best friend. Stop with the fucking jealousy already.
I turned on the tap and let the cool, calming water run over my wrists. After a several moments I felt better, so I dried my hands, checked my makeup and felt ready to join the others. I yanked the door open while switching off the light and ran right into someone waiting on the other side.
My arms shot out and landed on solid chest. I felt large hands grab my waist, keeping me steady.
"Oh! I am so sorry! I didn't see you there." I look up and see concerned green eyes. We are so close I can feel and smell his warm, chocolate-laden breath. Maybe I could eat you for dessert instead.
"You okay? You've been gone a while, so I thought I'd check on you." He smiled. I couldn't help but smile back.
"I'm okay. I drank a bit too much tonight. I think it may be time for us to head home."
"You can't go yet. It's a warm night and we've just moved out to the back deck to enjoy our drinks. Please don't go." He begged.
I sighed in defeat. I could never say no to him.
"So what do you think?" I gripped the handset at the sound of his voice and leaned back in my chair. I had been anticipating his call all morning, but still wasn't ready for it.
"Huh? Think of what?"
"Don't be coy with me." I could hear the smile in his voice, so different from his Dom voice, but it calmed me. "What did you think of Kate?"
"Oh….Kate." I swallowed audibly, clearing my throat to cover. "She seems lovely and…sweet."
His laughter is loud even through the receiver.
"Sweet, huh? Yes, she is both, but I need to know what you really think."
"I'm not following."
"In your honest opinion, do you think she has what it takes?"
"What it takes…?"
My stomach hits the floor.
My lungs constrict.
He's found someone to replace me.
Breathe. Just breathe. You knew this would happen. It was only a matter of time.
The air seemed to thicken with that sexual tension that I thrive on. Waiting on my hands and knees for something to happen only added to my excitement. I tried to clear my mind and stay in the moment, but it wasn't easy to do now that he had joined us. I had only hoped that he would. I needed the release that only he seemed to give.
"Would you mind if Master joined us, doll?" A finger caressed my cheek. "You may speak, pet." He spoke quietly in my ear and a thrill shot through me. Yes!
"If it pleases you, Sir." I spoke quietly, trying in vain to tamp down my eagerness.
I felt smooth leather tickling my back seconds before a hand landed hard across my left ass cheek. Thwack! Right cheek. Thwack! Fuck! The sound of skin hitting skin echoed throughout the room.
I bit back a moan as the spanking continued, warming up my behind in preparation for the leather flogger. I stayed out of my head and allowed my body to just feel.
As I was really getting into it, feeling my body approaching that heady place, the spanking ended. Warm hands gently massaged my ass.
"Good girl. You kept quiet. Now you'll be rewarded." Hearing his smooth Dom voice was like adding kindling to the fire raging inside of my body. I needed this. I needed him.
I felt hot, wet kisses on both cheeks before he pulled his hands away. Then I heard the whistle of the flogger through the air before it hit my ass with a quick thap, thap! Over and over again, the flogger hit firmly in a solid rhythm around my bottom and the back of my thighs. The heavy sound of Master's breathing was like music to my ears.
"Ahhhh!" Holy shit, yes! I couldn't hold back the moans this time.
My pussy was already drenched from the spanking. I was on the verge of begging, it was right on the tip of my tongue, Master, let. me. come!
I was panting and not sure I could hold on without climaxing much longer. I could feel my mind lifting, rising to that subspace. Almost there. Don't stop!
"Come for me, Isabella."
"Ahhh, fuuuuuuuuck, yes, yes, yes!
My pussy clenched and the most intense orgasm blew through my body starting at my clit and navigating through my every limb and nerve ending before making it's way back. My body trembled so badly that my knees gave out and my face wound up buried in a soft pillow. I promptly bit the pillow and screamed in relief.
He opened the door and I attacked. I couldn't help myself. I had missed those lips, they way they felt against my own. It had been far too long since I had felt and tasted that fantastic mouth of his.
"Mmm, baby, stop. Ugh, stop. We need to talk." He put his hands out and took a step back.
Huh? "What? Why?" I thought when you called earlier you wanted this?" I sounded whiny and pathetic even to my own ears.
"I wanted to see you to talk. As nice as that kiss was, we really need to just talk." His green eyes pleaded with me to agree.
"Okay." His face visibly relaxed, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. He grabbed my hand and led me down the hall.
"Okay. How about something to drink? I've just put on a pot of coffee." We ventured into the kitchen. The comforting smell of hazelnut does nothing to squash the terrible feeling that has my stomach in knots.
He pours me a cup and passes me the Truvia packets, knowing just the way I like my coffee. We silently prepare our cups.
I keep my eyes focused on the spoon going around and around inside my cup. No! I'm not ready.
"Bella, look at me, please?" He sounds so sad that I force my head up and glance quickly at his troubled eyes before landing back at my cup on the counter.
I hear the squeak of his shoes on the tile, then the warmth of his arms around me. A sob escapes me.
He pulls back, hands cup my face while he examines me with worried eyes.
"Why are you crying? What's wrong?" His concern is only making me cry harder. All I can do is slowly shake my head, my throat is too closed up to speak.
"Let's go sit down. Come." He pulls me close and we walk towards the den and sit down. I reach for a tissue from my pocket and try to dam the flow from eyes. He gives me a minute to compose myself.
"Now. Are you ready to talk? Please tell me what's going on? You're my best friend, I hate seeing you so upset." He rubs my right arm soothingly as he speaks.
"I miss you." I keep my eyes on my lap not wanting to see his reaction.
"Bella, I don't understand. We just had lunch together on Wednesday and we'll all be together at the benefit on Saturday." I look up to catch the incredulous look he's giving me. He really doesn't understand. Shit! I'll have to spell it out.
"No, Edward. I miss…us. What we use to be." I grimace hating myself already for what I've admitted. I stare at my hands clasped in my lap, not daring to look up.
I slowly bring my gaze from my fingers to his face. He is looking away and his jaw is clenched. He pulls his hand away from my arm and begins worrying his hair. His whole body seems to radiate stress.
As I reach my hand out to touch him, he stands and begins pacing. He's mumbling and dry-washing his face, clearly angry or frustrated. Fuck! I did this. I need to fix it.
"Bella, why? We've been over this. I'm with Kate now. You've got Jasper. There is no 'us'!" He continues pacing and pulling his hair.
"Edward, I didn't mean to upset you. You're my dearest friend, I know, but sometimes…." How should I say this?
"Sometimes, there are days, like today, when all I want is for us to be more again. When I want my Master back."
I keep my eyes locked on his while he comes to a stop right in front of me. I can't get a read on what he's feeling because his face is washed of emotion. He's shutting down on me.
"You have a Master of your own now, Bella." He sighs. "I helped you both out until he was ready. Until you both were ready. You chose him, remember? You could have me, but you stayed with him." His voice is eerily calm, resigned. He closes his eyes.
I feel tears build up in my eyes and try to blink them away.
"You made your choice and I've made mine."
That was what I needed to hear, that nail in the coffin that would put an end to 'us.' Yet, I still needed to hear one more thing.
"Bella, you should go."
It's been a week since that day at Edward's apartment. I miss him terribly. Throughout the day I find myself unconsciously reaching for the phone, so that I can share a funny story about my day or just to hear the sound of his voice. My brain catches up with my fingers in the nick of time before I hit send. The rejection of that day is still so fresh in my mind that I couldn't stomach the idea of possibly hearing it again. Jasper notices that something isn't right, but he's given me space. He knows from past experiences that when I'm ready, I'll talk. I'm not sure I'll ever be ready.
I don't want to be cruel to Jasper. He's been nothing but wonderful to me. He's a doting boyfriend and a commanding Dom, but he's not who I want or need. The kindest thing I could do would be to let him go. He deserves to be with someone who will give him their whole heart.
I stir the pot of chicken-alfredo, his favorite, and hope that it will soften the blow of what is to come.
One month later
"I'm glad you called." I managed to squeak out after several awkward minutes. We were stalling, dressing our coffees and commenting on the weather.
He blew out a huge breath and smiled. I relaxed at the sight of him and sipped my coffee.
"I can't believe it took me so long to call you. I just, well, just needed some time I guess." He shrugged running his hand nervously through his hair before his green eyes locked with mine. "I'm happy you agreed to meet with me."
"Of course, we're friends right?" I smirked after echoing his words from the last time we met for coffee.
"Always, Bella, always." He grins and reaches across the table to squeeze my hand. My body flames at the feel of his touch. Too soon he's pulling his hand away and I mourn the loss.
"So how's J-"
We laugh and I motion for him to go first.
"How is Jasper?" I grimace and fiddle with my mug.
"I'm not sure. I haven't spoken with him for several weeks now, not since we've broken up." I swallow thickly at the lump of guilt in my throat. Jasper had not taken our split very well. He left spewing angry words and still won't answer my repeated calls.
Edward eyes search my face before he clears his throat.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I had no idea things were over between you two. How are you doing?" His eyes are filled with concern as he looks at me. His kindness melts the guilt in my heart. I can't help but smile.
"Better." Now that you're back in my life.
I change the subject to what I really want to know."So, how are things with Kate?"
Edward is quiet for a beat, so I peek up at him. He's looking deep in thought, his brow furrowed, while he plays with a sugar packet on the table. I eagerly wait for what seems like several minutes for his reply.
"Bella, there's something I need to tell you." He begins before glancing up at me.
"Okay." He smiles tightens with what seems like worry. I'm instantly on guard.
"Bella, there never was a Kate and I." My mouth drops open in shock.
"But, you told me-" He put up a hand to stop me.
"Let me start over. Kate and I, we went on a couple of dates, but nothing ever developed." He paused and seemed to be gathering courage before he continued. "I lied to you that day, when I told you that Kate and I were together."
All I could do was blink at him and try to digest his words. Why would he lie and then disappear for five weeks. Why would he be so cruel?
"Why?" I huffed in disbelief.
"I just couldn't share you with him anymore." He began to reach for my hand, but thought better of it and grabbed his cup instead.
"It killed me that you had chosen to stay with Jasper and I knew that the only way that I, that we, could move on was to pretend that I had someone, too."
I knew I should be angry at his deception and a small part of me was just that, but the dominate feeling was pure relief at his words. He didn't want to share me, so he let me go, the only way he knew how. That's when the glaringly obvious hit me: He wasn't with her and I was no longer with Jasper. Could he possibly still want to be with me? To move beyond friendship with benefits into something more?
"Bella, I'm so sorry that I was dishonest with you. Can you forgive me?" He begged.
I stood up from my seat and he followed suit, walking quickly to my side of the table before I could reach for my purse. He gently grabbed my arm and pulled me into a hug.
"Wait. Bella, please, don't go." His head was buried in my hair and his voice came out as a muffled plea.
I hugged him back while an idea popped into my head and made me smile. I can't resist.
"Is that a command, Master?" My voice came out husky on its own volition.
He tensed at my words and then seemed to relax. Gently, he kissed his way down from the top of my head to my ear.
"Isabella," His Dom voice is like a welcome home." My house. Now."