Congrats, Indy! You're our other alternate ending!
The moment Remy ended his story, he lifted his eyes heavenward. The look in those eyes was far from amused. He stood, crossing his arms in front of him impatiently. Despite his black demeanor, a wry smile tugged at his lips.
He watched as all thirteen children—Amy and Scott included—faded into nothingness. He was left standing in a large, empty room. Above him, there was an observation room. He saw what looked like the entire Xavier Institute watching him through the glass, some holding popcorn and beverages. They all had different expressions on their faces, though.
Wolverine didn't look pleased. Which wasn't any different than usual. The man had a broad range of emotion: grim to grimmer.
Kitty looked downright pissed. Which was odd for her. Not that Remy cared.
The professor looked amused. As did Jean. Her one-eyed boyfriend didn't though. Which Remy was pleased about.
Kurt looked kind of…disappointed.
Tabby looked thoroughly delighted. She typically looked like some variation of that, though.
Everyone else looked rather entertained with his tale.
And Rogue? She looked…satisfied. Which was odd.
"Well?" the Cajun asked after a prolonged silence.
Everyone answered at once.
"Why was I the evil one?"
"Why was I the messenger slave?"
"Servant. You were a servant, Scott. Don't be insensitive."
"Pink testosterone magic?"
"I thought it was cute—"
"Why was I rat?"
"—even though the kids probably could have gone without the 'French lesson.'"
"I only appear in the story once and it's as a rat. Not fair."
"Pink testosterone magic, Gumbo?"
"Ha ha. Yeah. The image of you in a tutu was…erm, nevermind."
"I liked it."
"Of course you did. You weren't the 'evil' sister."
"Or a slave for Gambit."
"For the last time Scott, you were a servant."
"Pink. Testosterone. Magic."
"I mean, between me and Jean, clearly Jean is the more evil of the two."
"Oh, come on! You were the host to a crazy cosmic firebird! You're the more evil!"
"What happened during that period was not my fault."
"Pink. Testosterone. Magic."
"I feel like I could have been incorporated in the story a little more."
"Yeah, who is Mattie?"
"I feel like that we shouldn't let Gambit around children. Like, ever."
"I think the only way that anyone would leave him with their kids for any length of time is in an alternate reality where Remy is a responsible young man."***
"Seriously. Who's Mattie?"
"Why wasn't Storm in the story?"
"Yeah. Where was Storm?"
"Where was I, Remy?"
"I'm just glad this was Danger Room Session. If any of that were real, those kids would be so scarred for life. I mean, Monopoly."
"You wanna play Monopoly tonight?"
"Your place or mine?"
"Seriously. That was a screwed up innuendo."
"PINK TESTOSTERONE MAGIC?"
Logan's explosion silenced everyone in the observation room. Remy only quirked an eyebrow when all six of his claws popped out with their signature "snikt." Several students grabbed hold of the man before he could dive through the window, into the Danger Room, and try to kill the Cajun.
Remy didn't care about any of that. Not Logan or his peers' reaction to his story. None of that. What he was concerned with was why, in the middle of everyone's criticism of his story, hadn't Rogue uttered a word. Which concerned him. Since she was the one who had convinced him to go into the Danger Room for an impromptu training session.
He thought she just wanted to watch him work out. Instead, she turned on that stupid story time simulation (something he didn't even know the Danger Room was equipped with) and told him he couldn't leave until he completed it like it was real.
When it was over, he couldn't say he was surprised to see the entire Institute watching with his wife. He was a little embarrassed that he had to do the stupid story time and everyone watched. He was more than a little embarrassed that he had gotten kind of attached to the Amy hologram. But he was at least amused that, during his story, he still managed to get under several of his teammates skin with his fairy tale characterization of them.
Hence the aforementioned wry smile.
Remy waited for everyone to quiet down before finally speaking.
"Now that everyone got their ha-ha's in at Remy's expense, will y'all please get me the hell outta here?"
No one moved. They just stared at the perturbed X-Man. He met his wife's gaze despite the distance between them. It was a breathless moment before Rogue finally smiled broadly at Remy. He watched her disappear from the observation room with bemused eyes. After a minute, she appeared in the Danger Room, several feet between them.
"You gonna splain why you put Remy through that?"
She nodded. "Yup." She took a step toward him.
"Does it have anythin' to do wit' your sick sense of humor?" he asked, taking a step toward her.
She took another step. "Yup."
"Was there any real reason for this story time?" Remy inquired, coming nearer.
As the space between them closed, Remy found it increasingly difficult to remain angry with Rogue. Not when she was so close. Not when she was smiling that secretive smile like she was. His hands twitched as he fought the urge to just grab her and hold her. Instead, Rogue was to one to grab him. Just by the hand. But she held on intently.
"I liked your twisted story, Rems," she murmured, her voice soft. It confused him a little.
"That's…good, I s'pose."
"I thought it was cute. A little…." She scrunched up her nose. "Inappropriate. But it's not like I spect things to be otherwise with you. Course we'll havta clean it up a bit."
She smiled. He continued to gawk at her in confusion. When Rogue did not answer his question, Remy suddenly noticed that the hand she had been holding so firmly was now resting on her stomach. His fingers were splayed out across the flat, firm tummy. He stared at the stomach, his hand, and her face for almost a minute before it clicked.
"Oh," was all he said.
"You're gonna be a daddy."
"Uh," he said, nodding numbly.
Immediately after hearing this news, Remy LeBeau promptly fainted. He was happy to be on his way to a brand new once upon a time.
It was the stuff that came in between that and the happily ever after that frightened him.
***Another one of Indy's idea's that I unfortunately don't have time to actually type up.
I'm off now, to work on the sequel and another chapter story, Knee High Socks. Of course, that last one will probably take some time. Until them, look out for more one shots. I wish I had more time to incoporate more alternate endings, but my fingers are just itching to move onto something fresh and new and funny and romantic and fluffy and even a little SEXY. Until then...