I'm sorry for this, but... y'know... I felt like making it. So I did. If I could blow a raspberry on here, I would, but I can't soooo... :P that'll have to do.
This little ramble...
DISCLAIMER: If I owned Supernatural, there would be a lot more verbal angst, lol. Almighty Norwhale = Eric Kripke owns it, not me... That pains me to say, it really does.
Ohhh, and Dean still has the Amulet in the begining of this... Just ta let you know. Thought I should make that cleeeear. :)
THIS is the new AND improved version. Because I realized it didn't quite make enough sense XD
"I. Hate. You." These three punctuated words spoken with cold fury and accented with a punch to the face from each, completely destroyed Sam's world and he watched the last person he had faith in in this world drive away in the only home he had ever known, the Impala.
Dean had left Sam. But for a good reason. Sam loved Dean. No, not that way, but in that way. The kind brothers should never ever have. We all know how much Dean loves Sam, and how much his heart should hurt. But it just... doesn't.
Dean felt numb. Bored, plain. Without Sam he was nothing, but he couldn't be with Sam either. Not knowing how Sam felt. When Sam told him, he felt sick to his stomach. Hell, he even tore off the Amulet Sam had given him for Christmas all those years ago.
He left it with Sam. Dean was going off and he was determined to forget Sam ever existed. He couldn't help but think that Sam was nothing but trouble dragging up all those kinds of feelings from so long ago that he thought he'd buried, and Sam was on the same train of thought.
Sam was thinking about how if he was never born, the world would be a much better place. There would be a Mom and a Dad for Dean, and a childhood. Not having to look after the Ender of the World. Jess would be alive, the girl Meg had been in, Ava, Madison, Andy, both girls Ruby was in, and then the world wouldn't have ended.
That would have been a better life for everyone. So, maybe, just maybe, Sam could make it right. He could end it. There and then. His duffel bag had more than enough options. So Sam quickly made his way down the road until he came to a clear and vibrant meadow that reminded Sam of the fireworks that him and Dean had watched together. He felt a tear roll down his face.
He pulled his phone out of his bag and sat on the cold grass, because he was selfish and needed to say goodbye. He pressed the 2 button, then Call. Dean. Dean was always the first one on Speed Dial. Always.
The phone rang a few times, but then got sent to Voice Mail. Sam knew it was on purpose because Dean wouldn't want to talk to a monster. Not someone like Sam. So Sam left a message.
Dean had sent Sam's call to Voice Mail. He really didn't want to talk. But then Sam left him a message. That was something they had established to NEVER to do, unless it was life or death. So Dean listened:
"Umm.. Dean. I don't know how to say this, but... I'm done. With everything. I'm gonna do something I shoulda done a long time ago. We both know it, hell the whole world knows it! I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I needed to say goodbye. I don't anyone to get suspicious of the body or anything, so if you could maybe pick it up and do a quick salt and burn? I'm in a feild not to far away; it reminds me of those fireworks...I know you wouldn't want to talk to a monster, a freak, like me, but I wanted to say I'm sorry. For everything. For Mom, for Dad, for you having to ALWAYS take care of me. For Jess, for ending the freaking WORLD! I just... I'm sorry Dean. I am. I love you."
end of message
That was what the robotic lady said at the end of the message, but Dean didn't here her. He was more focused on the fact that Sammy was about to kill himself. Dean couldn't live without him, not now and not ever. He would do anything for Sam, and it took him dying for Dean to realize it.
Dean snapped back into action and took off going 95 in the Impala.
Sam was in the feild with the gun in his hands. It was the one Dean had given him, a hand-me-down. Sam softly smiled at the old memory of it.
Sam had been 12 and Dean was 16. It was Dean's birthday and his father had sent him a gun. Thier Dad was away on a hunt, but still managed to give Dean his birthday present. It was a beautiful gun and Dean turned to Sammy holding his old one and firmly pressed it into the smaller boy's hands saying, "Sammy, keep it safe. It was my first gun and now it's yours."
He cocked it and let it rest in his lap as he looked up at the sky. He let all the tears he wanted flow and he let a few sobs rack his body. He had decided on the gun not because it was painless, Sam didn't deserve that, but because it was the surest way to die.
Sam sniffled and whipped his nose on the back of his hand and remembered one of the many times he had been scolded for it...
Sam was 8 and Dean was 12. It was cold out and they were at the park. Sam could see his breath and was trying to catch it between his hands. He felt his nose running so he pulled his sleeve down and whipped it. "SAM!" Dean yelled at him, "Don't do that, it's gross!" "But I don't havva tissue Dean!" Sam had whined. Dean ended up buying him one at a store across the street.
But then Sam heard the familiar squeal of the Impala's tires approaching. He jumped up startled. The car pulled to a stop, narrowly missing Sam.
Dean jumped out of the car, pulling his brother over to him and throwing the gun as far as he could as he dove to his knees. "Dean..." Sam whimpered and he tried to get his wrists out of Deans grip. But Dean held on tight and took in the appearence of his baby brother.
Runny nose, tear tracks, but no wounds.
"Thank God Sammy!" Dean cried pulling Sam into a hug, his eyes welling up. "Dean, lemme go please. I need ta- I need the gun, please!" Sam said, struggling to get away.
Dean held fast and waited for Sam to stop thrashing. When he finally did, he sank to his knees sobbing. Dean followed him down and held him close. "Sammy, if you ever do anything like that again, I hope you know that I would just bring you straight back and kill you myself! I need you man. You're my baby brother and I need you."
Sam just kept sobbing and gripped Dean's shirt tightly, like he was scared Dean would run away. "B-but Dean, Imma monster. People die because of me! I'm sick an-and terrible! If I go, then there would be -"
"Be what Sam? All that would happen would be me selling my soul again to bring you back!"
"That's my point Dean! All I do is cause trouble! You had to sell your soul for me! I'm Lucifer's Vessel! All I'm here for is destruction!" Sam was trying to get away from Dean again, but Dean would have none of it.
Dean held Sam like he was the last life jacket on the Titanic.
The brothers stayed in the field all of that night, watching the sun go up. Dean had convinced Sam that he was worth something, at least to Dean. And that was when Dean confessed. He had hidden the same secret as Sam. That was about 4 months ago.
These two boys have been together since then. Everyone knows, but no one cares. Even the angels are there for them. They were a match made in Heaven, literally. This had all been planned out. Sam and Dean were meant for each other.
They lived like brothers, they lived like each day was thier last, and they cared.
Sam and Dean, they went down together. They went down creating a path. For goodness. They fought through demons and fought through hell. When they finally both died, together of course, they shared the same Heaven.
The feild where they had watched the fireworks that night when they were children all those years ago.
Did you like it? I know, it's un-beta-ed crap, but I had to get it out of my system. I never wrote like this before, only in people's P.O.V.S. So this is different for me. But at least there was a happy ending, right?
Reviews are appreciated, I'd really like to know what you think.