The Feline Warden

Summary : a collection of fragments from Ser Pounce-a-lot's life and its feline thoughts

Type: Comedy, Parody

Warning: contains detailed description of a sweet and innocent pussycat, with wide-eyes that are capable of melting your heart. If you're not a cat lover, there are high chances that you would turn into one after reading this short story. So, beware! ;-)

This story contains spoilers for Awakening.

I don't own anything related to DAO or the characters from the game. The only thing I own here, is my wild imagination!

Huge thanks to my Beta Reader, Zeeji, for her hard work and her kindness.


It was late evening and the darkness had already swallowed the old forest near the Vigil's Keep fortress. A full moon was rising slowly between the old oak trees; its powerful beams of light were gently caressing the stone road through the forest. A cat was running fast through the darkness of the night, heading for the Keep. Its fur was all dirty, dark grey, with dried mud clinging to it – so dirty that it made its natural color unknown. Its tail was bleeding; its left ear had a big fresh scar. Behind the dirty feline, three other cats followed. It looked like they were chasing the other cat through the forest. A big male cat, with completely black fur was running, hardly keeping pace with the chased feline. On its left, there was a young tiger striped medium size cat - also male - who seemed to run faster than the other two. A small piebald female cat was running on the right side of the black feline. Suddenly, the dirty cat slipped into a small puddle full of mud, but it recovered its balance quickly and started to run faster. The black cat tried to run faster too, but it seemed that its fat legs were making running difficult.

"He's getting away, Blacky!" meowed the tiger striped cat. As he looked at the exhausted black cat, it suddenly slowed down, almost stopping.

"Nobody escapes Blacky the Ripper!" meowed the black cat, hardly breathing. "Come back and fight, Dirt Sack!"

"Coward!" meowed the piebald. "You bit his tail pretty hard, Blacky!" She smiled and bashed her beautiful feline eyelashes at the black cat.

"He's so fast!" meowed the black cat, as it stopped and flung itself on the ground, exhausted. "I'll rip you apart if I see you near my female again, Dirt Sack!" he yelled after his running enemy.

"You're letting him escape, Blacky?" asked the piebald in a disappointed tone.

"Don't worry, love, he'll eventually turn into breakfast for a dog or a darkspawn." said the big cat, smiling.

"He's going to the Keep! I've seen a lot of darkspawn there yesterday." said the tiger cat.

"Let's go back to the village before we meet those ugly creatures ourselves." ordered the big cat.

The dirty cat with an injured tail was running fast on the road to Vigil's Keep, when, suddenly, it heard a lot of noise: metal clinks. There were some humans walking on the road. A big human male, dressed in some very shiny clothes made from hard metal, was surrounded by some other humans wearing similar clothes, but less sophisticated. The big shiny human started to walk in its way. The cat stared at the shiny man, not knowing how to react. It tried to think of a way to avoid him; the human looked very sad and seemed to stumble. The cat moved slowly to the edge of the road, but the stupid human seemed to be walking straight into its way. It looked like the shiny human was either blind or did not see the cat in the dark. The cat froze and tried to think of a way to avoid the humans that were getting closer. It could not run back to the village. Blacky was there. 'Maybe they cannot see me; I heard that humans don't see in the dark.' thought the cat as it tried to hide behind a big rock, near the edge of the road. But the shiny human walked right in front of that rock and, just when he was about to step on the cat, the feline pounced into a bush, startling the man. The human made a strange sound, like a deep moan, then lost his balance and fell on his back.

"Ouch! What was that?" asked the shiny man as he was helped to stand by some other humans.

"I think it was a cat, your Majesty." answered another human.

"Riiight. I almost broke my neck while stumbling over a cat! Good thing it was not a darkspawn." said the shiny human, sarcastically.

"The Keep and its surroundings are safe now. The new Warden Commander killed all the darkspawn from this area, when she came here yesterday, followed by Mhairi, your Majesty." said another male human. "But we need to reach the Bannorn as soon as possible. There might be bandits on the road."

"Maybe the cat is tainted. Do you want me to kill it, your Majesty?" asked a human female wearing metal clothes, smiling wickedly.

"No, Rylock, let it be... it was not its fault. I've been distracted by my thoughts. I should have watched my steps." said the shining human in a very sad tone.

Then the group of humans walked away, leaving the scared cat trembling in the bush. As soon as the cat recovered from the shock, it ran towards the Keep, using all its feline power.


A/N: For those of you who don't remember who Rylock is: she's that templar woman from the king's escort, from Awakening - the one who wanted to imprison/execute Anders.