A/N: Just a little thought that turned into a funny one-shot… Clearly, you can tell that I'm not crazy at all… Title comes from the idea of playing with fire, even though fire has nothing to do with this. At all.
Disclaimer: I do not own Ben 10.
Play With Fire
"Ben, why does Kevin have a taser?" asked Gwen while holding up a shield of her magenta mana to block the blows of Charmcaster's massive rock golems. Her jade eyes were flicking between her three points of interest: her cousin, her boyfriend, and the battle at hand.
"He found it somewhere last week and decided that he should keep it on hand. Just in case, you know?" said the slightly built brunette boy, trying to dodge things while trying to get his stupid watch to work at the same time. As always, the Ultimatrix was misbehaving. Ben hated it.
Gwen really wanted to go help Kevin with his taser issues and tell him to put it down or just rip it out of his hands herself, but she was too caught up with the silver-haired sorceress's golem that threatened the little petting zoo that was the prime target of the night. No one was quite sure of why a petting zoo, but they all just quietly accepted it. "Well, go get it away from him!" insisted the auburn-haired girl quickly, dodging a quick orb of energy that had flown right past her head, nearly singing her hair.
Ben kept slamming a fist down on the Ultimatrix while ducking and curling up into the fetal position behind a brick wall. "Why?" asked Ben, finally resorting to slamming the stupid alien watch against the wall that posed as his hiding place from the sorceress that was the enemy of the night. "Kevin knows how to work a taser. He'll be fine."
Gwen's emerald orbs glared at her cousin as she shot a beam of raw energy out at her opponent. It struck Charmcaster square in the chest, throwing her back a few feet. The witch's dark eyes glowed fiercely as an incantation slipped her black lips and let a whirlwind of magic spiral out into the battlefield, blowing away Gwen's thin shield. Another ray of energy blasted at the Anodite and Gwen scarcely managed to throw up a defensive wall of mana in time. "Ben, do you see Kevin working that taser?" hissed the redhead, glare returning to her cousin with a certain rage in it.
The boy turned his head slightly to get a glance of his best friend, trying to read the instructions on how to work a taser. "Okay, so I lied. He has no clue. It doesn't matter!" Ben tried bashing the Ultimatrix into his forehead. It still didn't work, but did succeed in giving him a minor concussion.
"Ben, do you know what a taser does?" The girl's voice was barely more than a whispered hiss. If she hadn't been in the middle of dealing with one of her mortal enemies, she probably would've killed her cousin right there.
"Um, it shocks people?" offered Ben, not quite sure of his answer. He was trying to get the Ultimatrix to work. The thing just wasn't going to behave for him. Never in a million years would he ever be able to get it to work. Not once.
"Now Ben, if we haven't learned our lesson yet about giving Kevin electrical toys, I suggest you learn quickly." The girl barely managed to get her head out of the way of a flying tornado of winds and magic that had been aimed to knock her down for good. "What happens to Kevin when we give him electrical toys?"
Ben had to mull over the question for a few seconds before producing an answer. "He goes crazy," said the brunette Tennyson, a perky smile spreading across his lips. "Right?"
Gwen couldn't help but think that her cousin was dumber than she thought. "Yes," said the Anodite as she managed to send an inferno of magenta flames swirling towards Charmcaster who let a golem take the hit for her. "And do you know what a taser is used for?" Gwen almost felt like she was trying to communicate with a five-year-old. It was ridiculous how completely oblivious her cousin was.
Once again, Ben tried using the wall to get the Ultimatrix to work. "Um, to tase people?" Ben had no idea why his watch wasn't working. Why wasn't his stupid watch working?
Charmcaster yelled something that Gwen chose to ignore and instead keep on the topic at hand. "And tasing people is...?" Before Ben could answer her question, she suddenly dropped from her mana platform and charged at Charmcaster who was still distracted by the raging pink fire. Gwen put up a massive rounded shield in front of her and chanted a quick spell before charging into the flames and plowing down the silver-haired sorceress, knocking her down quickly and then blasting another orb of mana towards her to knock her unconscious.
Ben had plenty of time to mull over an answer by the time Gwen got back with Charmcaster held in tight pink shackles that magic couldn't even hardly break. Mana was raw energy. Magic was something entirely different. "It electrocutes people!" replied the Tennyson boy proudly, still trying to get the Ultimatrix to work despite the fact of the whole fight already being over courtesy of Gwen. Kevin had just been trying to figure out the taser the whole time.
"And if we electrocute Kevin..." Gwen motioned with one hand for Ben to finish the sentence she had started while trying to fish her Plumbers badge out of her pocket. She knew she didn't trust Kevin to put her in the Null Void. Not after what happened last time she left him alone with the sorceress.
It took Ben a moment and he groped for words, mouth moving but nothing coming out. Some time passed as Ben tried to fit together the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. Then he answered, "He goes insane. Got it." And the hero charged off to go find his best friend and take away the taser.
Gwen sighed and shook her head before calling in to the Plumbers for an escort to get Charmcaster into a prison cell or into the Null Void. Either would work, really.
The maniacal cackling of Kevin made Gwen almost panic for a second until she saw that he was flat out laughing instead of doing an evil chuckle. Then the redhead's cousin jumped in. And she faintly heard Kevin's voice yell, "I just tased a goat!"
A/N: See? Totally serious in the beginning and Kevin went and did THAT! So review please!