Kim Possible is owned by Disney, but Bonnie is a law unto herself ...


Dear Diary:

Today's practice was, like, terrible. My ballet class held auditions for Swan Lake, and, well, I didn't even make the final cut. How could that stupid director be so insensitive? AND WRONG! How DARE he tell me I'm not sweet and innocent enough to dance the part of the good swan, Odette! WHAT A LOSER! I've been in intensive ballet training for twelve years, thank you very much, so he should, like, respect my experience, y'know? And no way am I giving up my spot at the top of my ballet class's food chain!

Well, in his favor he did say I played the role of Odile, the evil swan, to perfection. I think his exact words were, "beguilingly sensuous." But he didn't think I could handle both the good girl/bad girl dual role, the moron! So I looked him right in the eye and told him that when I'm good, I'm very good. And when I'm bad, I'm even better. Hah! I've never seen a man break out in a sweat like that before. But he wasn't the only one watching my audition. In fact, I caught both of the male leads checking me out while I was dancing! I gave them both "The Look" (the one I've been perfecting for over four years now), and they both looked like they'd melt right through the cracks in the floor. I just LOVE having that kind of power over men! Kim's "Puppy Dog Pout" can't even hold a candle to that. But it's funny that Ron's the only guy I've ever known that seems to be impervious to "The Look." I wonder why that is?

Well, anyway, Siegfried's the good guy in the ballet, and he's kinda cute, but just too much of a nice guy if you know what I mean. On the other hand, von Rothbart is the villain and is just drop-dead GORGEOUS. He really gets me hot, and he reminds me a lot of Junior, too, except not quite as shallow. I could really fall for his devilicious dancing, if I could only land the part. And I want this part more than ANYTHING IN THE WORLD! I want it so bad, I can't believe what I'm about to do. It's probably … no, it's the MOST humiliating thing I've ever considered doing, so it better be worth it. I have my first lesson tonight in how to act sweet and innocent, from a coach that is so goody-two-shoes that I could just barf. And if Kim Possible EVER tells ANYONE that she's given me "nice" lessons, I swear I'll kill her!