Erin: This is my first new fanfic in forever! I just have no free time anymore with school, work, repeat! Well anyways I'm become a HUGE vampire diaries fan! I LOVE Damon x Elena! But I have a soft spot for Elijah x Elena. I know they will probably never happen but that's what fanfic is for!

Disclaimer – I DO NOT own anything related to Vampire Diaries. Even if I would love too.

I Think I Miss You

It was strange how she found herself mourning for him. Elijah. After all, she didn't have a choice, right? Damon, Stefan, and Alaric had all forced her hand. If she hadn't killed him then he would have killed someone she loved, all because the Salvatore's wouldn't stop trying to kill him.

'If only they had just let him be,' she wished.

Elena sat on her bed staring at her diary, unable to write a single thought. What was she suppose to say? That she had grown to care for him? He had saved her life and the life of both Damon and Stefan. Damon's twice. He had even spared Tyler's even though he didn't have too. It wasn't their agreement. Hell, he didn't even have to make the agreement with her in the first place.

He was the only one who gave her a say in her own life. Gave her some sort of choice. He treated her like an equal. Stefan never let her make decisions for herself. He chose what she needed to know, what the plan was, what she was allowed to do. Damon, though he let her have her voice, shut her down if he didn't agree with her plans (but at least he did that with everyone). But Elijah treated her like she wasn't this breakable little doll, like she was strong.

She never told anyone how at night, when everyone had retired to their rooms, he would show up to "check to make sure she held up her end of the bargain". She knew that wasn't the real reason. She wasn't sure why he did it but it wasn't that. He would sit on her bed and watch as she did homework, wrote in her diary, or did chores like folding her clothes or cleaning. But then slowly, those silent nights where he just watched her transformed into conversations, as he asked her questions to which she answered completely honestly. More honestly than she ever had with Stefan; even more than Damon, whom she never blatantly lied to.

There was something about Elijah that allowed her to open up to him, something she never felt with anyone else. She told him the whole truth, and in return when she asked him a question he answered it with complete honesty. And every night he would stay with her until she fell asleep. Sometimes he would even stay to watch her dream.

Now she couldn't seem to get a goodnight's sleep without him. She had never wanted to hurt him, but she could find another way out. The look in his eyes when she drove the knife into his chest was full of betrayal. He had trusted her just like she had trusted him. His last expression had haunted her ever since. She had seen the fear, the panic in his eyes, when she thrust the knife into her stomach. He was desperate to save her. He had never seen her treachery coming.

Getting up from her bed, she had to see him. She had to apologize. As she drove to the boarding house she prayed the Salvatore's where not home. Stepping into the house she called out, waiting for a reply. With the absence of reply she rushed into the basement.

Elijah was still lying on the floor, in the same charred clothes from when Damon had tried to destroy him. But he was still whole.

Elena knelt next to him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, stroking his hair. "I'm so sorry." Tears streamed down her face as she cried for him, finally letting it all out. "I don't know if you can ever forgive me, let alone hear me, but I am so very, very sorry." She leaned down, kissing his forehead softly. "I promise that one day I will pull this knife out. After we've killed Klaus I will bring you back," she vowed.

Sitting down beside him she allowed herself to grieve for the man who meant more to her than she would ever let anyone know. She could trust this secret to no one. So she gave herself this one moment to mourn. This one moment alone, before she buried her feelings deep inside and became "Perfect Elena" again.

Erin: They really are so sweet together. *Sighs* I hope Elijah comes back! I really like his character! Did you know Elijah is the name of the Angel of Innocence? LOL. Please review! Let me know what I need to work on!