Memories Last a Lifetime

When I first saw him, I knew he was different. I saw that he was not like other men. He was cold and logical. He kept to himself, and nobody liked him. Knowing him from his Astrophysics class I was enrolled in. I saw through the coldness and logic. I saw that inside, he was kind and caring. He was only two years younger than I was, but that made no difference to me. I loved him for, not what he was, but who he was inside.

I remember how he came to my quarters on Valentines Day last year. I remember how he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I remember his reaction when I said yes. I remember last year when his mother died and I went to comfort him. He called me his angel. I loved him more than anything, and he has said the same thing to me.

He had trouble controlling his emotions, but I was able to help him. Before me, his mother was the only one who could help him with that. He was told many times that he was loved. I wanted him to know that he wasn't alone and that I would always be there for him no matter what.

We got a new crewmember the other day, so he volunteered to allow me to stay in his quarters with him. He told me that was probably the best decision he had ever made.

I remember how, when his father met me, he was unhappy with his son's decision to marry me. He didn't like me 'only because you are human' my husband told me. He also told me that he loved me no matter what.

I remember how when Jim told him he didn't love his mother, he snapped and almost killed Jim. I knew he loved his mother. I knew he missed her. I knew he couldn't cry because he would be made fun of. Later that day, I went to our quarters to find him, face buried in his hands, sobbing. He looked up with a start, and noticing it was me, he continued to sob. I told him that I was sorry, and I loved him and cared about him. He stood up and wrapped me in a warm embrace.

I remember when he first kissed me, and how it made me feel like flying. I remember how he kept his arms around me and comforted me, even though I may not have needed it at the time. He backed away and called me his precious angel. He told me that he loved me and that he didn't want anyone to take me away from him.

I remember watching him fly the miniature ship into the monstrous ship. I remember my heart racing as the tiny ship moved closer, closer, than was destroyed. I remember screaming his name. I remember racing to the transporter room, with tears in my eyes, grieving his loss. I remember seeing him on the transporter pad, racing up to him and throwing my arms around him. I remember him wrapping his arms around me. I remember his lips touching mine. I knew that he would always be there for me.

I remember how he put his hand on my face and how he brushed my hair away from my eyes. I remember how we would lay in bed together and how I would lean over to kiss the tip of his ear. I remember how he would wrap his arms around me and put his head on my shoulder. I remember how he would whisper in my ear that he loved me.

I remember how he would hold me against him, telling me that everything would be all right. I remember how I could feel his pain after his mother died. I remember him locking himself in our quarters and, through the door, I could hear him crying. I wanted to comfort him. I remember how, when he cried, he would bury his face in my shoulder or in my chest, staining my uniform with his tears. He would apologize, but I told him that he didn't have to. I remember how he would whisper my name to himself and how wonderful it sounded coming from his lips. I remember how he would tell me my name was precious to him, and how he said that he would call me nothing else.

I remember how, when we were on shore leave, he would drape his arm around my neck. I would wrap my arm closest to him around his waist and he would pull me closer to him. I would look up at him and gently kiss him. He knew that I loved him, and I hoped that he felt the same way about me.

He would hold me close, telling me he would never let anything happen to me. He would lie in bed next to me and run his hand through my hair. I remember how I would put my head on my chest and how he would put his hand on my face and kiss the top of my head.

I remember how he would allow me to run into his open arms. How he would let me show emotions for both of us. How he called me, and me alone to his side when he was dying. How he told me that he loved me no matter what anyone else said.

All of these memories are locked in my heart. I will never forget him. Even in 40 or 50 years, I will still never forget him no matter what. He meant everything to me, and I loved him more than anything in the world. Now all he is in just a memory. I will miss him forever and he will always remain in my heart.

I will always love him for who he was. He was special to me for what he was, for he was Spock, the human-Vulcan hybrid.

Loved forever,

Nyota Uhura