Once again, the four friends were sitting around a table outside of their favorite café, sipping on their favorite drinks. Much as expected, Helena's thought process led her to some strange places. Noticing the dark-haired woman zoning out, Dinah playfully threw an elbow into her girlfriend's side. Laughing, she asked, "Do I want to know where your mind is this time?"
Helena blinked a few times, and then nodded, "You guys ever think about Disney princesses?"
Diana and Shayera laughed; Helena was always thinking about something randomly odd.
Dinah sighed, but played along, "What about them?"
Helena leaned over the table, and looked at each of her friends. "If you were one of them, which one would you be?"
The other three women looked around at each other and shrugged. Helena continued, "I think, I would be Pocahontas."
Shayera about choked on the sip of her drink she had just taken. "H-How do you (bleeping) figure?"
"Well," Helena grinned, "we both have dark hair, and we are both devastatingly beautiful."
Dinah snorted, and waived her arm in the air incredulously, "That all? Because I'm pretty sure you are not a Native American."
Helena continued the thought, ignoring the sarcasm. "True, however, I can track like one. It's a (bleeping) gift really. AND," she raised her voice slightly, "I am rolling around on the ground frequently with a hot blonde." She flashed her pearly whites at Dinah. "And let's not forget that wildlife and nature are my friends."
"Okay," Dinah laughed, "now I know you're (bleeping) high. What wildlife and nature?"
Helena rolled her eyes and pointed across the table at Shayera and Diana, "Obviously I was referring to them. Shayera is my bird friend, and Diana is the tree."
Diana scrunched her eye brows and pouted, "Why am I your (bleeping) tree friend?"
Helena leaned over and punched Diana's thigh lightly. Rather than leave a mark on the strong woman's leg, Helena pulled back red knuckles. "Point made I trust?"
Shayera laughed, as Diana conceded the point with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders.
"So," Dinah smiled, "who are the rest of us?"
Helena laughed, "Well, that's where things got confusing. At first I thought Diana could be Snow White just because they have the same hair color." Helena leaned over and whispered to Dinah, "And both are old as dirt…"
Both women chuckled as Diana's face turned into a scowl. Helena continued, "But I had to toss that out immediately."
Diana leaned over, "And why is that?"
With a straight face, Helena asked, "Diana, what would you say to 7 men telling you to cook and clean for them every day?"
Diana's face scrunched in obvious disapproval. "(Bleep) that!"
Shayera reached over and patted Diana's hand. "It's alright sweetheart. You already are a Princess." She leaned over, and smiled seductively. "Besides, you are way more sexier than any of them."
Diana licked her lips, "And I wear less clothing…"
Shayera whispered naughtily, "Hot (bleep)! Yes you do…"
"Bbbbbuuuuttt…" Helena interrupted the two lovers giggling conspiratorially, "that doesn't mean that Diana is in the clear."
Dinah smiled, watching as Diana's face went from soft facing Shayera, to intrigued facing Helena once more. "I'm listening…"
Helena leaned back, "It seemed to me that you and Shayera are a pair, so it was necessary to work that out."
Shayera puffed, "Well the only Disney princess I can think of that is a redhead is Ariel."
Helena and Dinah laughed in unison. The blonde quipped playfully, "You wish Shayera!"
"I did think of that Shayera, after all it sort of fits." Helena began to squirm in her seat grinning ridiculously.
Shayera arched an eyebrow, "But?"
Helena exploded with laughter. "Okay, first the hair. I agree. But if you were Ariel, then Ursula would be doing us all a favor by taking your singing voice. Seriously Shayera, you can't carry a (bleeping) tune."
Three of the four women laughed, while Shayera sat back and folded her arms across her chest with mock indignance. She allowed the laughter to continue for a few moments, and then turned her attention to Diana. "How funny do you really find this?"
Diana stopped immediately and deadpanned, "I don't dearest. Helena isn't funny."
Shayera grinned, leaned over and pecked Diana's lips. "Good girl."
Helena leaned over and continued, "And THAT just proves who I think two really (bleeping) are…" Turning to Dinah, she spoke, "Dinah, please meet our friends, Scuttle and Flounder."
Dinah sucked in a breath of air, desperately trying to hold in the howl she was sure was coming. She looked at Shayera, whose face had turned red. Dinah wasn't sure whether or not the Thanagarian was pissed, or holding in laughter herself. But within seconds she had her answer. Shayera was almost rolling on the ground, and Diana was right behind her. Wiping at a small tear at the corner of her eye, she choked out, "I can't wait to hear how this is explained…"
Helena smiled, "Wings equals Scuttle. Flounder is brave like Diana. Plus you can insert your own fish jokes here."
Dinah suddenly got quiet and sat with a contemplative look on her face, and leaned over once again. "Flounder was brave?"
Through gritted teeth, Helena pushed, "Shut up Dinah. I really don't want to be fileted. Flounder followed the redhead around…"
Dinah nodded and grinned, and for their parts, Diana and Shayera didn't really care.
"Well," Dinah began, "that just leaves me. I'm definitely Cinderella."
Shayera interjected with a smile, "Oh (bleep) no Dinah! Not if I'm a seagull and Diana is a fish…"
"Fine. How come?" Dinah asked.
Diana started, "I got this. One, you have never cleaned a (bleeping) thing in your life. Hard to make the argument that you are Cinderella if you don't know how to scrub anything. Two," Diana looked around the table at smiles, "I'm pretty sure Cinderella was taller than the mice. Not totally positive you would be…"
Helena coughed into her hand, "Shorty!"
Dinah sat stunned for a second and then joined in the revelry. "True. I couldn't be Cinderella. Ever notice how many mice were running around? Breeding like crazy…too many, and we all know mice poop everywhere. And, I am not a pacifist like her. Mean stepsisters get (bleep)slapped."
"I know who you could be…" Helena offered.
Dinah melted a little, "Aww, babe that's sweet. She's your favorite isn't she?"
"Yeah," Helena leaned over towards Dinah sheepishly, "she is."
Just as Dinah leaned in to kiss Helena's lips, the darker woman pulled back slightly. "But that wasn't why I chose her for you."
Dinah waited…and was rewarded with Helena grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "Seems to me Dinah that Sleeping Beauty would have had some seriously bad breath after sleeping so long…and I have definitely woken up next to you in the morning…"
Dinah sat back huffing, then smiled. She shrugged. "Guess I'll have to settle for not being a (bleeping) Princess."
"Oh, I don't know about that Dinah…" Shayera smiled conspiratorially. "I'd say you'd make a great Belle."
Dinah looked at her friend who winked. "After all Dinah, you live with a beast that can't read, and traipses around clumsily. Really I'd say you were a saint for staying with Helena. Good luck breaking that (bleep) curse."
Shayera stuck her hand up in the air which Dinah immediately hi-fived. Both women stuck their tongues out at Helena. Diana offered, "And Helena is the hairiest of the four of us…"
Everyone sat silent for a moment, and then the laughter broke out again. Helena relented, "I can't really argue with the strongest fish the world has ever known! You know, we really should change how we are looking at all of this…" Licking her lips, Helena dropped her voice an octave or two, "Anyone up for helping to redeem the evil queen?"
A/N: Just random playfulness. I was reading a story about the evil queen on this site, and someone was singing, and this just popped into my head. Thoroughly ridiculous I know, but I have a weird mind I suppose. Hope you had a chuckle or two...and now maybe the muse will let me go back to working on my other story. Where the (bleep) is Tinkerbell anyways? LOL.