Summary – Emily gives Aaron an ultimatum. Aaron is having a hard time accepting it. Lemons!
This is dedicated to "Pinkie Dragon". You know who you are, and I love you bunches, you sexy bitch you.
Warning – 18 and over only please. Mature content. Not work-safe.
"Don't make me choose, Emily."
As the words left his mouth, Emily knew exactly which he would choose if she formally gave him the ultimatum.
"I have to," she whispered. "We won't work this way, Aaron."
The use of his first name still sent a rush through him, swelling his heart with an emotion he wasn't ready to admit to.
"I can't choose," he said evenly, his voice not conveying the sheer terror in his heart and mind.
"You just did," she deadpanned.
"Why do I have to choose?" he asked, his voice rising, and Emily noted that he didn't contradict her statement.
She forced herself to keep a straight face, to not show how upset she honestly was. "I cannot do this job and have you constantly holding me back because you're afraid you're going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere, Aaron, but you don't believe that. You can't protect me every second of every day when we do what we do."
"Emily, you are asking me to choose between you and my job," he said through gritted teeth.
"I'm aware," she said with a lot more nerve than she really had. "And if you choose your job, I'm not staying on the team. I love what I do, too, but I can't work like this."
He somehow managed to keep his face emotionless as what she said hit him hard in the stomach. "I said I'd try to be less harsh with you," he reminded her. "I said I wouldn't hold you back from doing what needed to be done."
Emily groaned and ran her hands through her dark hair. "You said it, but you haven't done it!" she cried. "In Tennessee you refused to allow me to go with the rest of the team to a hostage situation simply because they guy had a sniper rifle and you were scared that he would target me!"
"That was a judgment call!" he shouted, frustrated. "I am so tired of you questioning my judgment as your superior! The man killed six women, Emily!"
"You didn't tell Seaver to stay behind," she growled. "She is a woman, isn't she?"
"We dropped her at the secondary station so she could work with Rogers on the negotiations. Only reason you didn't go there was because I needed eyes and ears in both places from people I trusted," he explained in a clipped tone.
Emily chewed on her lip for a minute, knowing he was right and she was wrong, but it didn't stop another hundred examples from popping into her mind. She squared her shoulders, standing and brushing at her red shirt and black slacks. "You know there's a lot more than that," she said, not turning to look at him as he stood from his couch.
"I've been trying," he said quietly, gently grabbing her wrist. "I have been, Emily, please see that. Don't do this."
"You'll never be able to stop being who you are, Aaron," she whispered, trying to pull her wrist from his grasp, but he held tight.
"We can make this work," he said vehemently, yanking on her arm, forcing her to turn and face him. "We can do this."
She shook her head. "No, we can't," she replied, her voice shaking. "I can't."
"So, let me get this straight, just so I'm not confused," he said, and she could tell he wasn't trying to mock her, simply collecting all the facts. "I have to leave my job in order to continue to be with you, or you are going to leave the team."
She nodded, suddenly feeling like the biggest bitch in the history of the world. But she didn't say anything, having made up her mind.
"And if I stay in my position and you leave, will you be ending the relationship?" he asked, and she suddenly noticed he had drawn her closer without her realizing it.
"I don't know," she admitted. "I don't know if I could deal with you choosing your job over me. We've been together over a year, and if I don't mean enough to you by now, than I never will."
"What about me?" he asked. "How do you know I won't resent you if I choose you?"
"I've thought about that," she said slowly. "If you do, we'll work through it."
"Why can't you leave?" he asked suddenly, not even having considered the fact that she would only be leaving the team if he had decided to stay.
"I am," she whispered, her eyes closing for a moment to keep the tears filling them at bay. "I am leaving the team."
Aaron's eyebrows came together, confused. "You aren't making any sense," he said, shaking his head. "You said you'd leave the team, not that you're already leaving the team."
"What I'm saying is that I want to be with you," she said. "I plan to leave the team no matter what. The reason I want you to leave is that I want to be able to have a life with you. I do not care if I have to work at a fast food place to pay the bills. This is too hard, Aaron, too stressful for us to be able to stay together if we both worked at the BAU, and too stressful if one of us stayed."
He blinked at her, his brain trying to keep up.
"I want this to be permanent, Aaron," she said quietly, not quite meeting his eyes, and he could hear her voice thicken with emotion. "I want a life with you and we both know we can't do it like this. The job tore apart your last marriage, and I can't handle that thought being in the back of my head during every case we go to, or if you were away and I had another job. I can't, and you have no idea how sorry I am for that."
Aaron cleared his throat. "I understand," he said after a long pause. "I just… this job is my life, Emily."
She nodded slowly. "I know. I know what I'm asking of you, and I hate myself for it." His face fell when two large tears overflowed from her eyes. "I hate asking you this, but I also care enough to want this to work. This is the only way."
Without thinking, he cupped her face with both hands, his thumbs wiping away her tears, only to have more fall. "Emily," he whispered, his face pained, "please don't cry."
"I can't help it," she said dejectedly.
"Come here," he murmured, pulling her close. She stiffened for a moment before her entire body just slumped. Her arms went around his middle, hugging him tightly and hiccupping in a sob. One of his arms went around her shoulders, his other hand staying against her cheek, cradling her face against his shoulder. He slid his hand into her hair, something he'd loved to do since the first time he'd kissed her just over a year previous. His lips pressed against the top of her head, and he was confused when he felt moisture there. Suddenly, he realized tears were spilling from his eyes.
He'd always known how much she meant to him, but he didn't realize just how badly he needed her until that moment. He never thought she'd follow through with the ultimatum, never thought he would honestly have to choose between his girlfriend and his job. He'd lost so much over his job, but it was who he was, who Jack needed him to be. He was the hero. The guy who caught the bad ones and saved the world from evil. What would that mean for his son if he left his job? What would that do to his lifestyle? But could he live through telling Jack another mother figure was no longer going to be around because of father's inability to leave his job? Emily had been a whirlwind of happiness to them both. Was it worth it?
Part of his brain screamed no, but his heart screamed yes. He sniffled as manly as possible, clearing his throat and holding her tighter. As her scent filled his sinuses, he wanted to tell her he'd call Strauss immediately and resign, but his practical side quickly took over and he just stayed quiet. He had no words, no questions, no answers. He felt helpless and confused, lost within the entire situation that Emily had created. For one moment, he hated her for turning his world upside down, but it was washed away when he heard her broken inhale. She was crying. Her shoulders were shaking and she was trying hard to be quiet about it.
"Baby," he murmured, stroking her hair, "please don't."
That just made her cry harder. She was brokenhearted and she couldn't hide it in anymore. She had known his decision before she had even given him the ultimatum, and it had taken her nearly a month to come to terms with it. She had to do this for her, for her sanity and her mind. Her heart wasn't handling it well, but it was for the best. That was what she told herself over and over, and she hoped that she'd eventually believe it. Emily thought of Jack, but quickly banished his face from her mind, knowing she'd probably cave. She loved the boy like a son, even though she saw him even less often than she saw Aaron. It'd be hard to leave him, to not see him, but she had to.
"Don't make this harder," she managed between sobs.
"I don't want this," he breathed out. "I don't want to be without you."
"You know what it'll take, Aaron," she said firmly, but her voice still wavered.
He pulled away from her, once against cupping her cheeks and clearing them of moisture. "Look at me and tell me you honestly believe these are our only options."
Emily opened her mouth but nothing came out when she saw tears swimming in his eyes. Just as she mustered the courage to say it, the option of speaking was no longer there, her lips sealed by his. It took less than a second for her to respond to him, her hands tightening their grip on his plain grey shirt, her mouth pressing back against his. Their tongues met in a familiar way; there was no awkwardness, no bumping or fumbling. It felt right, perfect, but it wasn't enough, and Emily forced herself to pull away after just a few minutes. She had barely taken a breath when he kissed her again, more forceful than before.
Emily melted beneath Aaron's demanding lips, the forcefulness making her knees wobble and her head spin. He bit her bottom lip, a low noise of desire rising up in her throat as his tongue swept across it, seeking entrance to her mouth. She caved when his hands went to her hips, gripping them firmly and bringing her flush against him. Her arms slid from his middle to wrap around his neck, her mouth opening to give him what he wanted. The next this she knew, she was straddling him on the couch, her shirt being roughly pulled from her body.
"You're so beautiful," he panted, raking a hand into her hair and bringing her down for another kiss.
"This doesn't change anything," she groaned as he released her mouth, only to ravage her neck, licking and biting her heated skin.
"I know," he said between biting her neck and sucking on her earlobe.
"We shouldn't do this," she said, but her actions betrayed her voice as she began tugging his shirt up.
"Too late," he muttered, allowing her to remove his shirt.
"Oh god," she moaned as his hands went beneath her red cotton bra, cupping both mounds roughly.
One hand stayed to fondle her breast as his other hand reached around her in order to undo her bra. The moment the garment hit the ground, Aaron ducked his head, yanking gently on her hair to get her to lean back, his lips hurriedly wrapping around one of her puckered nipples. His teeth gently scraped over it, his tongue joining into the mix in order to soothe the flash of pain that came when he lightly bit her supple flesh. Her hands cradled his head, holding him against her and arching her back, silently pleading with him to take in more of her. He obliged, sucking and licking each breast until he was sure she'd have marks, something he'd always secretly enjoyed doing to her pale skin.
"Hold on tight," he instructed once he pulled away from her breasts, moving to sit on the edge of the couch. Before giving her time to ask what he meant, his arms went around her hips and he stood, wavering for only a moment before she wrapped her legs around him. She peppered his neck with wet kisses as he stumbled to his bedroom, sitting on the bed and falling back, Emily still holding tight. They shuffled to the head of the bed, only breaking contact until they were settled, and it was Emily who kissed him, not wasting any time before shoving her tongue between his lips and into his mouth.
Aaron's hands went to her hips, grasping them and pressing her down hard onto his obvious erection. They both groaned, their lips parting in order to take in ragged breaths. Emily followed his lead, rotating her hips and sliding back and forth against him, the friction feeling so good but not quite enough. As if on cue, they both stopped all movement and quickly reached for the other's pants, hands clashing as they tried to undo buttons and take down zippers. A franticness took hold of them, the need to be connected in the most intimate way causing their usual easy flow to be broken, Emily ending up nearly kneeing him in the groin as she attempted to remove her final pieces of clothing.
"Shut up," she growled as he chuckled deeply.
He gazed at her body, his eyes hungrily taking her in as she once against settled above him, loving the deep flush that had set into her skin. She perched herself above him, her hand reaching between them in order to grasp his painfully hard cock. Emily's hand tightened around him when he brought his own hand to soaked womanhood, his fingers delving between her moist fold, collecting the wetness from her opening and then dragging his fingers to her clit, applying a fair amount of pressure. Aaron continued to slide his fingers back and forth as she stroked him not-so-gently, keeping up with his fast rhythm. Just as she began moaning, that familiar sensation beginning to take her over, he pulled his hand back, causing her to cease all movements.
She watched with ragged breathing as his long fingers that had just been between her legs went to his mouth, his lips wrapping around them. He groaned loudly as he cleaned her juices from every digit, the taste of her clouding his head with lust. His other hand raked into her hair and he pulled her down, removing the fingers from his mouth and replacing them with her lips, biting at them until she kissed him back. She whimpered when she tasted herself on his tongue, which always made her feel a little dirty but unnaturally turned on. Emily rose up higher on her knees, stroked him another time or two, and lined him up with her aching cunt.
"Oh, Aaron," she sighed as she slid down his length slowly in order to accommodate his size.
"So wet," he panted against her lips, his hand still holding her face, not wanting her lips to leave his just yet.
She whimpered when he finally hit bottom, and she swore she could feel his cock pulsing within her, which just made her rotate her hips, wanting to feel more. He hissed, finally letting her sit up, and his hands went to her hips, fully intent on controlling her movements. Emily saw this and went against him, rising up and falling back down at her own pace, not slowing when his fingertips dug in almost painfully.
"You're going to kill me," he groaned as her pace quickened, her sopping core only taking in half of him before pulling up again.
"No," she said with a breathy laugh, "I'm just going to make you come, Aaron Hotchner."
"Too quickly, I might add," he gasped out.
"I don't mind," she said with a smile.
Aaron's eyes rolled back. "I do," he ground out, his hands becoming viselike on her hips and she had no choice but to do as he silently commanded her, pausing halfway up his arousal.
Her hands reached out and grabbed the headboard to steady herself as he guided her movements, slow and deep. Her eyes fell shut in order to properly relinquish control, to just enjoy the feel of his hard cock penetrating her again and again. Their breathing picked up as Aaron lifted her up and down, thrusting up halfway every time, filling her to the hilt. She took to his steady rhythm quickly, knowing if she did as he wanted that he'd trail those amazingly large hands over every inch of her body. Emily was not disappointed when one of Aaron's hands splayed over her stomach, slowly working its way up to her breasts, roaming over them before pinching a taut nipple between his fingers.
While her eyes were closed, Aaron's were open, taking in her body, her face. He watched her mouth drop open, her teeth gently biting at the inside of her bottom lip, telling him she was close. Her hair framed her face, making a curtain to the outside world, just how he knew she liked it. His heart clenched in his chest when she moaned his name again, her walls tightening in a way that shot a powerful jolt of pleasure up his spine. His name. He watched her face for a moment, not caring about the fact that they were having sex, just wanting to look at her for awhile. But when she cried out again, he was suddenly hyperaware of everything. The feel of her, the smell of her, the sounds she was making, and he realized it might be the last time he'd ever see her like that.
"I love you," he gasped out.
Emily froze for a moment, her eyes opening and locking hard on his. "Are you serious?"
"Yes," he whispered, his eyes conveying the fact he hadn't meant to say it.
"Tell me again," she demanded, rotating her hips in small circles.
"I love you," he panted. "I love you, I love you, I love you."
"Oh, Aaron," she moaned, her hips moving faster and faster. With one hand firmly on her hip, he quickly slid his thumb between her wet folds, easily finding her clit and applying pressure, rubbing it in time with her movements. "Holy shit."
"Come on, baby," he pleaded. "Come for me, Emily."
Emily hastily rose up before dropping back down, surprised his hand didn't waver from her bundle of nerves. She rode him, shallow and fast, the feel of his full cock impaling her over and over, his thumb insistently rubbing her, she flew over the edge within only moments. Her knuckles turned white on the headboard, her head falling back as she screamed his name, her orgasm starting at her toes and racing to her stomach, exploding in a plethora of sensations. Her walls gripped him, clenching in a rhythm that had him calling her name in return, her tight heat milking him for all he was worth, his eyes rolling to the back of his head when he thrust her down in order to spill himself as deeply within her trembling body as he could possibly manage.
She collapsed on top of him, her torso plastering against his as his arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly against him. Her face buried into his neck and he rested his cheek against her forehead, which was slightly damp with sweat. Aaron took a deep breath, his hands gently rubbing her back as they came down from their releases. Before he knew what was happening, Emily sat up and cupped his face, her lips crashing down on his. He barely had a moment to kiss her back before she pulled away, hurriedly climbing off the bed and picking up her clothing as she exited the bedroom. Aaron blinked after her, his brain taking a moment to catch up with what had just happened.
Aaron rolled off the bed and practically ran out into the living room, trying to pull on a pair of pants as he went. He was surprised to find Emily still there, her clothes already back on. He buttoned the top of his pants and gave her an exasperated look.
"You couldn't have just stayed for another hour or two?" he asked.
She shook her head. "It was already bad enough we had sex, I'm not staying around to bask in the afterglow with you. It'd hurt too much."
He felt a pang in his heart, but she grabbed her purse and headed to the door before he could say anything back to her.
"You say your job is your life, Aaron?" she asked as her hand grabbed onto the doorknob. "Let me just tell you, you are more important to me than any job. If, by some chance, you pick me, I'll be waiting. By the way, I love you, too."
And as Emily left, the door closing quietly behind her, Aaron fell onto the couch, his head in his hands, more conflicted than he'd ever felt before.
"What am I going to do?" he asked to the empty room, but the room provided no answer in return.
A/N – Thank you for reading! Please take just a second out to review, please! I really love to hear your thoughts! Thank you!