Title: Words and Actions
Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli & Isles or these characters (darn it!) nor am I making any money off them (darn it!). No infringement intended.
Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles
Summary: Maura wants something. Jane hesitates at first, but eventually delivers the goods…and then some. MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PLEASE
Notes: My first foray into Rizzoli & Isles, please be kind! :)
Notes 2: Written in response to a prompt from another site
Words and Actions
Maura leaned down from the stool she was perched on and grabbed her bag. She reached into it and pulled out an object, actually two connected objects, and placed them on the counter between her and Jane.
Jane's eye widened and her mouth dropped open. "Maura!" she exclaimed, "Maura that's a... that's a..." the brunette had risen from her stool and was gesturing almost wildly towards the objects on the counter.
"I believe the term you're looking for, Jane, and the term most commonly used is 'strap-on'. And yes, it is," Maura stated quite objectively and quite straightforwardly.
"And, and, and, this," Jane again just gestured to the object in question, "This is what you wanted to talk about? This is what you want?"
Maura frowned. She'd been hinting at this for several weeks now but since Jane hadn't taken any of the hints, Maura had decided to be more straightforward about it. And she thought this was pretty darn straightforward. So she was confused as to why and how Jane was still confused. "Yes, Jane," she replied reasonably, "This is what I want."
"For me to...," Jane twirled her hand sort of around her waist, "And then to...," she waved sort of at Maura, "You... with it." Jane sputtered as she began wringing her hands.
Maura just continued to frown at Jane and at the fact that the detective seemed to be leaving some very key words out of her speech. So to make sure they both understood each other, she supplied fully formed answers, "Yes, Jane, I want for you to wear it. And to then make love to me with it. Yes." For someone who was so passionate and so caring and so devoted and so doting and so attentive and actually pretty inventive in the bedroom, Maura did not at all understand what was flustering Jane so much. So she asked. "Is there something that bothers you about that?"
"What? Noooooo." Jane answered and shook her head a little too emphatically, while also looking away and not meeting Maura's eyes.
Maura pressed on, "Do you think this means that I think you're not enough? Because if that's what you think, I assure you, that's not the case at all."
"Hm?" Jane's attention was brought back to the present. "No," Jane shook her head again, "I don't think that."
"Do you think that this means I'd rather have a man?" Maura continued to question.
"Tshha!" was Jane's spontaneous but only response.
Maura took that to mean Jane truly didn't think that. So she tried a different tact, "Have you had a bad experience in the past that involved sex toys?"
Jane's eyebrow rose and she gave what Maura took to be an honest answer, "No," Jane shook her head, but then sort of started sputtering again, "No, I... I..." Jane twirled her hand again and shrugged, "You know, as much as the next person, I mean."
Again, the detective seemed to be leaving out key words. "You're saying that you enjoy the use of sex toys as much as anyone else," Maura clarified.
Jane's eyes widened slightly at Maura's bluntness. "Right," she replied curtly, trying to find a way to end this conversation. Because yeah, she did. She did like them. She liked them a lot. She liked using them a lot. Talking about them, however, she was not such a fan of.
But it wasn't just that. It was also... well... it was Maura. It was sex with Maura. Because sex with Maura had always been different, different than any other sex she'd had with any another person.
In the past she'd, of course, had partners, partners she'd had sex with, sated needs with, fucked, and generally very much enjoyed. And she'd thought she'd even made love to a couple of them, too. But that was before she met Maura. That was before she realized what 'making love' really meant. And before also realizing that while what she had with Maura could sometimes be about sating needs and fucking and sex, underneath it all, over it all, through it all, there was always the presence of something so much more and so much deeper. Something indefinable and something fragile. Something she never knew she was missing but something she was now terrified of losing.
So she'd become more conservative, more tentative, more careful; she knew she had. She hadn't let her full desires out or be known, didn't allow herself to fully unleash with Maura. What they had was too precious to risk.
And she was afraid that if she put that... that... thing... on and used it to... on Maura... she didn't know what she'd do, she didn't know what she'd want to do. She didn't know what Maura would want. She didn't know if she'd be able to hold back if Maura truly wanted what Jane thought she did. She just didn't know and that just made her more afraid.
Jane's inner monolog and train of thought was interrupted by Maura again, "Well, then, Jane, what is it? What's wrong?"
Jane pulled her lips in, covering her teeth, crossed her arms, and gave Maura a simple shrug and tight smile, "Mmm," was all that issued from her closed mouth as she tried to mask her inner turmoil but was failing miserably.
Maura sighed. "Jane, I need you to use more vowels. And more consonants. And to put them together to use more words in general!" Maura was practically pleading now, though part of her knew it was useless. For it was clear that the detective had both metaphorically as well as literally clammed up and that Maura wasn't going to get anywhere with her tonight. It was clear to the M.E. that not only wasn't she going to get what she wanted that night but she wasn't even going to know why she wasn't getting it, either.
Maura looked away and shook her head slightly in bewilderment and frustration before turning back to the brunette and speaking again, every word true, but every word painful to say out loud, "I need you to talk to me, Jane. I don't care what you can or can't do in the bedroom. I really don't. I want this, but I can easily live without it if it means I get to keep you. But what I'm not sure I can live with is you keeping secrets, keeping feelings, keeping yourself bottled up and hidden from me. And that's what I feel like you're doing. This isn't the first time you've done it, either, Jane, and it's not even the most important topic you've done it on, but I just don't know how many more times I can tolerate running into that brick wall that seems to protect your inner self."
After her little speech, Maura got up from the stool she'd been perched on and picked up her bag, throwing it over her shoulder. Then looking deeply into the now shocked expression of her lover, she said her final words quietly, "So when you're ready to talk, you know where I live."
And with that, Maura grabbed her coat from the rack by the door, and left.
Leaving Jane standing stock still and in utter shock in her kitchen, just staring at the front door Maura had just walked out of.
. _ . _ . _ . _ . _ .
Maura had arrived home, frustrated in more ways than one, but scared, as well. So in an attempt to calm her nerves and calm her body, she'd taken a hot bubble bath, and then poured herself a glass of wine. The bath had felt nice and was mildly relaxing, but the wine was left mostly untouched as she found herself just staring blankly into the fire place. And there wasn't even a fire in it.
But she was startled out of her stupor by the firm knock on the door. She realized with some shock that this probably wasn't the first knock; that she'd probably missed the first one as this one was accompanied by Jane's voice, as well, "Come on, Maura, I know you're in there."
Maura got up and went to the front door, opened it, and saw Jane. Jane. Her Jane. The detective's hair was wild on her head, long coat pulled loosely and haphazardly around her, shoulders a little slumped, face weary but...but determined. Maura's heart melted as it always did upon seeing Jane, and especially upon seeing her in such an obviously frazzled and somewhat downtrodden-looking state. But Maura was also determined, determined not to fold so easily. She jutted her chin out just a bit and asked as crisply as she could, "Does this mean you're ready to talk?"
Jane's gaze met and held Maura's as both women just stared each other down for long seconds. Then Jane spoke, simply, plainly, bluntly, Janely, "No."
Maura's eyes narrowed, confusion and frustration battling to rise within her, "Then why did you..."
But Maura's question was cut off by Jane physically pushing into the apartment, taking Maura's arms and backing the blonde up until she was fully inside and could shut the door behind her.
"Jane!" Maura exclaimed, "What are you..." was all Maura could get out before she found herself maneuvered around, reversing positions with Jane, the doctor's back now pressed up against that very same door Jane had just entered, and pressed up against it tightly as Jane's lips came crashing down on hers.
A small sound escaped Maura as she warred within herself, desperately wanting to melt into the kiss while also wanting to hold firm to her ultimatum to talk. But she knew which side would win that internal battle when her body and mind pretty much instantaneously reacted to Jane's mostly unexpected, very quick, and almost rough treatment of her. And the battle was completely over just seconds later when she felt one of Jane's hands come up, up under her top and none too gently gripped and squeezed one of her ample breasts while the detective's tongue demanded and was granted entrance into her mouth. Another sound escaped the M.E., this one more like a sigh, as her knees went just a little weak and a pulse shot straight through her gut and settled in her core, always, always amazed at just how quickly her body reacted to the detective.
After several breathless, frantic, desperate seconds, Jane pulled out of the kiss to look into Maura's hooded eyes and dilated pupils, eyes and pupils that showed the doctor's obviously surprised but also her obvious arousal.
Arousal Jane was comforted by, and arousal which allowed Jane the courage to undo the tie at the front of her coat, letting it fall open and shaking it off her shoulders and down her arms and off as she took one step closer, closing all remain distance between the full length of their bodies, bringing the front of her pelvis into contact with Maura's.
Maura's response was again instantaneous. Her eyes widened and her gaze sharpened and she drew in a sharp breath. For even clothed, even through Jane's sweatpants and Maura's silk bottoms, Maura could feel it, god she could feel it, feel the object, the toy, the one that had been the center of so much contention earlier in the evening but which was now so obviously and gloriously strapped around Jane's waist, not a source of contention at all at the moment, far from it, in fact.
Maura let her breath out in a slow languid moan as Jane pushed her hips forward again, this time with even more purpose. And though Maura wanted to maintain eye contact, wanted to keep looking into those soulful brown eyes just inches away from hers, she couldn't, just couldn't as her eyes fluttered closed on their own accord. "God, Jane," was all she could breathe out.
Jane's smile was more like a snarl as she drew her hips back slightly only to push them back into the blonde once again, grinding them slightly, swiveling them slowly, letting Maura feel the hardness through their clothing, reading the blonde's face, assuring herself that this was really, truly what Maura wanted.
And by all observable measures, it most certainly was.
Still, Jane had to be sure.
So with one hand still on Maura's breast and with her hips still pressing into the blonde, Jane leaned her head forward, "If you want me to stop, tell me now," she husked directly into Maura's ear.
And Maura thought she might just come right then and there and how embarrassing would that be. Because of course Jane wouldn't want to talk about it and analyze it. Jane was a woman of action, not words, and she was finally taking charge just like Maura knew she could, just like Maura knew Jane wanted to, and, truth be told, just like Maura had hoped and dreamed the detective some day would.
Not to mention Jane's voice. God, that voice, especially when it sounded like it just did, lower and even more gravelly than normal, and was so full of need and want and promise. Oh yeah, Maura knew that whatever that voice asked for, whatever it wanted, no matter where or when, she'd give it.
"Yes," Maura finally panted in answer to Jane's previous statement, "I mean, no!" she backpedaled, realizing she wasn't even sure what she was saying or what she was answering, for her mind had become complete mush, complete mush so quickly and entirely in the face of Jane's actions. "I mean please don't stop," Maura tried again, "Please don't leave, Jane. Please, Jane, just please."
Both women were breathing heavy already, both knew exactly what they wanted and were pretty sure of what the other wanted as well, but the stakes were so high, so high, almost too high and Jane had to be absolutely sure; just one more time, just one more assurance. So she eased her hold on Maura's breast, and took one of Maura's hands in her free one, looking down at their hands and then back up into Maura's eyes. "I don't want to hurt you," Jane's voice this time was quiet, so very quiet, and it quivered, wavered just slightly as she made this statement, this confession.
Ah. Maura had suspected this was the reason. Suspected this was the root cause behind all the times Jane had started to cease control but then backed off, had started to thrust a little hard or grip a little tighter or hold Maura down a little firmer, only to again, back away, easy off, dial it down. Maura had suspected and now knew that a fire burned inside of Jane, that Jane had desires, ones that flipped and mirrored and complemented her own, and she now knew what was keeping them from being let out, and from being sated.
She didn't know exactly how to put Jane's uncertainty at ease. But she knew she had to try. So she just looked deeply into Jane's eyes and hoped the detective could see the truth in their depths and could hear the meaning behind her words and hoped that would be enough, "I'm not fragile, Jane."
And it was.
Jane stared at her for a beat or two longer, then threw all further doubts aside and crushed her lips to Maura's again, recapturing and reigniting the heat that had been sparking between since Jane first got there and first pushed her way inside. Maintaining the kiss, the detective then pulled both her hands free and used them to grab either side of Maura's silk pajama top and before Maura knew what was happening, Jane tore the two sides apart and open, buttons snapping and popping off, and the tearing of a seam sounding loudly in the room.
Maura jerked out of the kiss, gasping the only thought that formed in her otherwise increasingly hazy brain, "Expensive!"
"Like I fucking care," Jane growled as she used this opportunity to drag Maura by the hand quickly and again just a little roughly into the living room and over to the end of the blonde's sofa, spinning Maura around when they got there and bending her over the arm of it before, with as little care as she'd shown the top, yanked the matching pair of silk pajama bottoms down Maura's legs, letting them pool around Maura's ankles, leaving the doctor mostly exposed and entirely open.
With Maura gasping and squirming and trying to figure out what the hell just happened and how the hell had she'd found herself face down on a sofa pillow and trying to come to terms with just how incredibly aroused it was all making her, Jane went frantically to work on her own sweatpants, getting them off her waist and down, finally kicking them free, and then, without wasting another second, reaching a hand into Maura's upturned and so inviting and enticing and glistening heat.
Both of them moaned deep in their chests at the contact, Maura at the feeling of Jane's fingers sliding through her, knowing it was just a precursor to more, and Jane at the further evidence of Maura's arousal and desire, the further affirmation that she'd chosen the right course of action.
And with this further affirmation and the jolt of adrenaline it brought her, Jane's moan transformed into a low growl as she placed one hand on Maura's back, spreading her fingers out and pressing down, stilling and holding the blonde as she found Maura's opening with her other hand and thrust two fingers into her from behind without warning, extracting a surprised but pleased yelp from the blonde, a yelp which melted into another moan when she felt Jane's fingers withdraw and push in again.
Any other night, Jane might have been content to keep doing what she was doing, but not tonight. So after just the two thrusts, she left the hand on Maura's back in place but pulled her other fingers entirely out of Maura's core to briefly to run them up and down the toy protruding from her waist, getting it slick with Maura's moisture, getting it lubricated, getting it ready. She then put the tip of it at Maura's entrance, using her fingers and hand to again gather then spread even more of that moisture onto and up the long shaft, wanting the entire length prepared, and giving one more out to Maura, though she knew Maura wouldn't take it, "Last chance, doc. What's it gonna be? Words?"
"Jane," Maura nearly whimpered in anticipation, for, god, she'd wanted this for so long, trying to rock her hips back, wanted this with Jane for so long, trying to push herself onto the toy that was just barely grazing her entrance, and wanted it so fucking much, wanting to feel it, wanting it inside her, wanting to feel all of it inside her.
But Jane held her steady and held her down and held her off just a bit longer, curling her long frame down so she could put her face closer to Maura's while still keeping the toy tantalizingly close yet still so far away, "Or action?" Jane finished her previous question, her previous taunt.
"Jane, pleeeeeaassee, I...I want...I need..." Maura was clearly begging now.
So she delayed no more.
She straightened her body and grabbed Maura's hips in both hands, digging her fingers in to the layer of flesh and muscles there. "That's what I thought," she bit out before plunging the toy into Maura in one long smooth quick stroke.
Maura cried out at the sensation of finally being filled, so completely, utterly, fully, smoothly, quickly, roughly, wonderfully, filled. And cried out again when she felt Jane pull almost all the way out only to plunge back into her, just as quickly, just as powerfully. God! Fuck, that felt good! As good as she'd imagined. Not just the shaft, not just the toy itself, but the way Jane was wielding it. Just like Maura knew she would, confident, powerful, fast, controlling, yet controlled.
Maura wrapped her arms around a throw pillow that happened to have been laying at the end of the couch, tightening her fists into it, opening her mouth into it, using it to muffle the litany of pants and gasps and cries and grunts that were now coming out of her mouth as she felt the toy enter her again and again, each thrust coming immediately after the previous, each one as fast, each one as deep, Jane not starting out slowly at all, not giving her any warm up, setting up an almost frenetic rhythm right from the start, penetrating her, penetrating her so deep, penetrating her all the way with each and every thrust, and, god, she was loving it.
As was Jane. Loving every sound and every movement and every second of it, Maura's display and obvious and overt enjoyment only serving to set Jane's nerves further on fire. Jane let out a low rumble, Maura's only warning that something was about to happen, as the brunette paused just briefly and only so that she could use one foot and then the other to kick Maura's legs further apart. Spreading the doctor open, wide open, taking away any leverage she might have had, making her even more vulnerable than she'd been before, putting her completely at Jane's mercy.
And putting her in a slightly different position, as well, lower and more stretched, changing the angle the toy entered her, making her less able to adjust to and accommodate it as needed, and .God it was fantastic.
"Yss, nnngg!" Sounds that might have been words started pouring from Maura's mouth as she gripped the pillow even tighter and tried to use whatever position she had with her elbows and torso to continue to push back against Jane, to meet Jane as best she could, to deepen the already deep pounding she was taking, taking and loving.
And somehow loving it even more when she felt Jane shift behind her. She wasn't sure exactly how Jane shifted, what exactly the detective had done, all Maura knew was that Jane's grip on her hips seemed to tighten even further and Jane's thrusts came from a different angle, maybe it was higher, maybe it was lower, maybe it was both, maybe it was neither. Maura really didn't know, really couldn't tell, but then again, she really didn't care as she just concentrated on the feeling of her opening being stretched and pulled in different and new ways and new and different tracts of tissue within her being rubbed and pressed and excited and ignited by the slide of the toy into and out of her as Jane continued to almost ruthlessly pound and piston in to her, again and again and again, the front of Jane's hips slapping the back of Maura's thighs and ass with each stroke. "Gnnnhh! Uhhh!"
Maura squeezed her eyes closed and held onto the pillow for dear life, really not trying to contain her verbal or at least vocal outbursts anymore. Jane, god, Jane! She was being so wild and abandoned and uninhibited. Finally! And it was so fucking sexy! And that, coupled with the constant movement, constant pulsing, constant simulation was setting Maura's passage on absolute fire, god it burned, it burned so so good. Almost too good, for it couldn't possibly be sustained, could it? It was driving her so high, so fast, so good, sooooo hot.
And as it drover her higher, Maura reached for it, strained for it, for the end that seemed in sight, for the peak that seemed right in front of her. But it wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't enough, not quite enough, not the right kind of contact, not the right kind of pressure, not in quite the right location. It was enough to build and build and build, build the need and the want, but not enough to actually satisfy it.
So Maura surrendered herself to it and to her fate, knowing there would be consequences, knowing that with the sofa arm biting into her quads, with the almost forgotten and until now far under utilized muscles being used to counter thrust back into Jane, with the slam of the dildo into her very depths over and over and over again, Maura knew, oh she knew she was going to be sore tomorrow, so very sore, and knew that there would be other consequences of that soreness, as well. But, "Ahhh!" She panted as Jane penetrated her again, she also knew it would be So Very, "Worth it!" she gasped out with another particularly forceful thrust.
Maura hadn't even realized she'd stated out loud the last two words of her thought process, hadn't heard them, wouldn't have recognized them as her own even if she had. But Jane had heard them, heard them and recognized them. She could surmise, at least sort of, what they meant but didn't have the breath or will to question them any further right then. For right then she simply took them as a sign that it was time, that Maura had earned it, that Maura had gotten what she wanted out of this, that Maura was ready, that Maura was needing, that it was time, time to finally sending Maura flying.
So Jane took a deep breath, struggling to find air, her efforts in this scene having left her out of breath, as well. But she needed to speak, needed to drive home a point. "I figured as much, you know," Jane said on a quick exhale, or at least Maura thought that's what she said, she wasn't hearing or thinking particularly clearly at the moment as Jane's thrusts and grinds and rotations changed slightly but still continued unabated. "I figured that underneath that rich upper class façade," Jane put a little extra effort behind one of her thrusts, punctuating her last word, drawing a gasp from Maura, "Under all those high brow words and high brow clothes," Jane took another breath, "You were hiding this dirty little secret," Jane pumped one more time into Maura. "Weren't you?"
"Gpnpr nng mdd nm," were the only sounds that came from Maura, as she mashed her face and mouth into the throw pillow, Jane's last thrust practically lifting her onto her tip toes, her core on fire, feeling the toy embedded inside her, knowing Jane was asking something of her but not knowing exactly what, I mean, God! It was too much!
Jane then draped her body over Maura's, letting go of one of Maura's hips to reach up and under the blonde, seeking, searching, finding a distended nipple, taking it between her fingers and squeezing, squeezing hard and pulling hard as she pumped snuggly into Maura one more time, "Weren't you!" Jane demanded with another tug.
Maura practically screamed out at the unexpected sensations that sliced through her nipple, unable to tell if it hurt, thinking it might have but knowing for sure that it had also sent a current of pure pleasure from her nipple directly to her clit and almost, almost, almost had her coming undone.
But Jane wasn't quite ready for that, not yet. "Yeah, you were, sweetie," Jane's harsh tone belying the tenderness of the pet name, "You said you wanted me to 'make love' to you with this thing," Jane thrust harshly into Maura again while giving Maura's trapped nipple another tug, emphasizing exactly what 'thing' she was talking about, pulling another cry of confused pleasurable pain from the blonde, "But that's not what you really wanted, was it? What you really wanted was for me to fuck you with it, and fuck you with it good and well and thoroughly," Jane pulled out and thrust back in one more time to make her point, "Didn't you?"
"Jhhh whm aaahlr," came the further incoherent and muffled response. Jane wasn't sure if Maura was actually trying to talk, actually trying to respond or not. But whether she was or not, the fact that Maura, so articulate, so much a friend of language, was the one that seemed to be the one having difficulty forming and getting out words, that Jane was the one that was making it difficult, was both a massive rush and massive turn on as well an opportunity not to be passed up.
"What's that?" Jane teased, "I need you to use more vowels," Jane threw Maura's early words back at her, as she pushed into her again, "And more consonants," she continued with another harsh upward movement, "And more Words. In. General," Jane punctuated each of her words with another pinch to Maura's nipple and another deep, penetrating pulse, the last one again sending Maura up to her toes again and bringing more incoherent babble out of Maura's mouth.
"Actually, you know what?" Jane continued off that babbling, "I actually don't. I don't need you to talk. I don't need you to say anything. All I need," Jane released Maura's nipple to move her hand lower, lower, between Maura's legs, finding the straining bundle she had been looking for and wasting little time landing the pad of two fingers on it and pressing and rubbing back and forth and up and down and around and around as she finished her previous thought, "Is for you to come."
Maura cried out at finally having contact where she had been needing it most, where she knew she needed it, period. And she knew it wouldn't take long, not long at all for her to fall over the edge she'd been teetering on for so long already, as she felt her muscles coiling, felt one foot lifting, felt her hands tightening even more. And when Jane's fingers flew over her one more time and when Jane growled out two more words, and did so using *that voice*, Maura was gone: "Come, Maura!"
And good god, she did. Her entire body shook and her lungs ached as her muscles clamped down hard, so hard, so painfully hard, but so gloriously hard on the fake cock still rocking inside her as the waves crashed over and through her. She called out her release, letting Jane know, letting Jane hear every ounce of her pleasure, as it went on and on, so long, so drawn out, seeming to go on forever as Jane continued to move inside her and continued to glide over her.
It was almost merciful when she finally started to ease, when her muscles finally released, when Jane finally started to slow and stop, when her voice finally fell silent, when she could finally relax and exhale and let go and collapse, all muscle tone gone, settling her full weight over the end of the couch, and settling into a most spectacular afterglow.
And then feeling the weight, the comforting weight of Jane, her Jane, as the detective settled on top of her. Both women welcomed the closeness despite the heat radiating from each of their bodies, and welcomed the calm, the stillness, the quiet of the room broken only by their slowing but still ragged breathing.
. _ . _ . _ . _ . _ .
Finally, minutes later, after Jane managed to get her breathing back under control and managed to calm her racing blood, the detective hoisted herself up and, as gently as she could pulled out of Maura, tenderly shushing and assuring the doctor when Maura moaned in either protest or pain or both. Jane then quickly undid the contraption on her hips, setting it softly on the floor before reaching down and even more gently and slowly helped Maura stand, knowing the doctor probably had some stiff muscles after what they'd just done. When she did finally get Maura up, Jane turned her around so they were facing each other.
At first the M.E. wouldn't meet her eyes, but with insistent yet tender guidance, Jane brought their gazes together, both searching the other's, both seeing in the other's contentment and satisfaction and excitement.
And seeing that, both began to smile.
Jane maneuvered them both then, so that her back instead of Maura's was to the couch, and she perch herself on the edge of the arm, spreading her legs slightly and inviting Maura to come stand and nestle between them, acutely aware that they were both bottomless but not topless, though Maura only barely so. Without speaking, Jane's eyes flicked down to the tattered remains of Maura's pajama top and then to the still-reddened nipple on the doctor's left breast. Without a word Jane leaned in and wrapped her lips gently around it, laving it slowly with her tongue, kissing it, soothing it, an intimate acknowledgement, but not an apology, for how she'd treated it early.
Maura leaned her chest into the caress and threaded her fingers through Jane's unruly curls as a contented hum issued from her chest. After a moment, however, Jane pulled back and looked back into Maura's eyes. "How are you feeling?" Jane asked tenderly as she reached up and tucked a piece of blonde hair behind Maura's ear before stringing her arms around the M.E.'s waist, the detective's tone, her attitude, both physical and vocal, 180 degrees different than just moments before.
Maura leaned in and slightly down to kiss Jane softly on the lips, "Jane, that was..." Maura found her self still struggling for coherent thoughts much less coherent words, "That was amazing," she finally settled on.
"You're sure?" Jane asked, a small cloud of uncertainty marring her brow and her eyes.
Maura reached out and cupped both of the taller woman's cheeks in her hands, leaning in again so she could give the detective another kiss, this one much more thorough and much more convincing. "I'm positive," she said while looking directly into Jane's eyes.
Jane's shoulder relaxed in relief and the normally strong detective swallowed hard to keep any unwanted tears at bay, "I'm glad," she whispered with a small nod. Because she was. She was glad.
Hell, she was more than glad. Because she had to admit that she also found this evening's activities amazing. More amazing than she had ever dared to expect. And she'd also had to admit that she'd want to do it again. Not immediately, not, like, tomorrow or anything, but sometime.
And she didn't think that she'd ever be much more demanding or rough with Maura than she had been tonight, didn't think she could, not with Maura. Of course, on the other hand, she didn't think she'd ever have been this rough with her. And Maura did seem to enjoy it. And as Jane already admitted to herself, she would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it, as well. Still, she didn't want to push too hard, or too far. Well, that wasn't true, she countered in her mind as images of various kinds of restraints, implements, objects, and toys other than strap-ons flitted through her brain. She did want to push hard and push far. Again, not all the time, definitely not all the time, but some of the time, maybe. But... but not too hard or too far and not harder or farther than Maura wanted, of course, and ...
"Hey, Jane, sweetie, come back to me," Maura's soft words snapped Jane out of what had become a swirling, circular, stream-of-consciousness internal debate, one she hadn't even realized she'd slipped into. "I can tell you're over thinking this," Maura continued as she tenderly pressed a finger between Jane's eyebrows, gently smoothing away the worry lines that Jane didn't realize had formed between them as she had been thinking.
"You don't have to worry about it all right now, okay?" Maura ran a finger down the side of Jane's long, lean, beautiful face, as she looked into the brunette's eyes, "The future will bring what the future will bring, and I know you think it's a four letter word but we'll talk about it. We'll talk about it and find something that works. For both of us, okay?"
Jane just looked at Maura, astounded at how well this woman could read her and know her thoughts and put her at ease, at how well she could love her.
Yes, they'd reached something of a turning point, they'd each revealed something about themselves to the other, but all of a sudden it wasn't as scary as it had been just a second ago. Because Maura knew just what to say. Exactly what to say. And how to say it. And Jane knew that wherever they went, they'd go together. Momentarily overwhelmed, Jane just continued to stare.
Finally, when she thought she'd be able to speak, she, in typical fashion, tried to hide and pass off the deep, confounding, and swirling emotions with a joke, "You and your talking."
But Maura could hear the crack in Jane's voice and knew the emotions and intentions behind it. And that was enough for her. She smiled softly and cupped one of Jane's cheeks in her hands, "Yes. Me and my talking."
Both women continued to stare at each other for several long seconds. Jane knew that it wasn't going to be easy, talking about it, figuring it all out, but on the other hand, she was absolutely certain that it would be absolutely worth the effort. And as that phrase entered her mind, it also reminded her of that that same phrase had been used earlier, but not by her.
Jane's eyes cleared marginally as did her voice as she asked, "Hey, speaking of 'your talking', you said something earlier while we were... you know... You said 'worth it'." Jane smiled a little curiously at Maura, "What was that about?"
Much to Jane's surprise, Maura seemed to blush a little and looked away, almost shyly. "Hmmm, maybe talking isn't such a good thing," the doctor muttered.
From that response Jane knew she must be on to something, something she intended to pursue, "Come on, Maura, tell me," she prompted. "You know, use consonants and vowels and tildes and umlauts and, I don't know, roman numerals, or whatever else you need."
That brought Maura's eyes back to Jane's and the M.E. gave Jane a dirty look, "You're going to keep throwing that 'use vowels and consonants' expression back in my face forever, aren't you?"
Jane grinned, "Yeah, probably."
Maura couldn't help but smile back and just shake her head minutely with a soft chuckle before both women fell silent again.
But Jane, much to Maura's chagrin, hadn't forgotten her earlier line of questioning, "Come on, Maura, tell me what that was about."
Maura took a deep breath and relented, "I was just thinking that I was going to be, well, that I was probably going to be pretty sore tomorrow..."
Jane opened her mouth to speak but once again Maura knew her too, too well and preempted her, placing two fingers across Jane's lips to silence her and saying, "No, don't you dare apologize for it. Because, as I said at the time and as I'll say again now, it was worth it." And if she had left it there, that might have been the end of it, but Maura added a little too big of a nod, almost as if she were convincing herself, one of her tells and one of the things that made her such an adorably bad liar.
So Jane's eyebrow rose slightly and a slow smile started appearing on her lips as she regarded Maura, sensing, knowing the doctor was withholding something, "I do believe you that you think the soreness will be worth it," Jane began, "But I don't believe that that's all there is to the story... what else were you thinking?"
"Jane..." Maura whined, looking a little annoyed in this instance that Jane seemed to know and be able to read her as well as she knew and could read Jane.
"Come on, Maura," Jane prompted with a good natured tug at Maura's waist, "Out with it!"
"Fine," Maura lifted her chin slightly, "I was thinking that the soreness and possible stiffness might making walking more difficult than normal tomorrow and," Maura paused to take a fortifying breath before finishing her story, "And that it might not be advisable to wear heels. That maybe I'd have to wear sandals, or even flats." Maura couldn't keep the slight look of distress from her face or voice.
Jane's slow small smile and bloomed into a full-on shit-eating grin, "Well, Dr. Maura Isles, I do believe that, coming from you, 'I might have to wear unfashionable flats but it was worth it' might just be the best after-sex compliment I've ever received."
Maura couldn't help it, she laughed along with Jane but then leaned in to give Jane a kiss, and then another one, a thorough one, one that shifted and deepened the mood, and one that that left little doubt in Jane's mind that the compliment was well earned. Actually, it left little at all in Jane's mind, other than one increasingly focused thought and desire as well as igniting a strong reminder in Jane's body that it hadn't yet experienced the kind of release Maura's had that night; and that it would most certainly like to.
Reading Jane's mind yet again, Maura made a breathy, whispered offer against Jane's lips, "Let's go to bed."
It was an offer Jane couldn't imagine herself ever refusing.