The Witching Hour

Author: JAZWriter/JAZWriter13

Pairing: Miranda/Andrea, The Devil Wears Prada

Disclaimer: I do not own The Devil Wear Prada, its characters, or any songs (particularly Witch Doctor and Witchy Woman), not even my own house (until I finish paying the mortgage which will not happen any time soon thanks to the economy and the resulting negative equity in my and half my state's homes). I digress. I am not profiting from this story (except through positive comments which feed my Muse). It is created through the fair use doctrine or some such pish-posh.

Rating: NC-17

Special Thanks to my betas: I really just threw this at them with no notice about a week ago and begged for guidance. So, thank you, peetsden and quiethearted.

Author Notes: This is a little PWP (that means Plot, What Plot?) that demanded my attention. If you blink, you'll miss it (the plot!). Really, it's just a bit of fun.

Author's Notes, Too: Nearly a year ago, I wrote my first DWP story in response to the 2009 Spookfest Challenge issued on the Janeway/Seven Faction board. That story is called Facades and can be found here. I guess I'm a bit of a sentimentalist since I wanted to write another Halloween story in celebration.

This story consists of two parts. That's right—just two. Really.

Part 1

"Hey, Lily, come on in," Andy called through her door as she picked up her sweater from the floor and threw it past the bedroom doorway onto her bed. Turning around, Andy scanned the living room, making sure no other personal items littered the hardwood floors. Satisfied, she turned her attention to Lily who was placing pizza and beer on the coffee table.

"Andy, do you have any clean plates?" Lily asked.

Andy smirked as she detoured to the kitchen. Opening the white cabinet over the sink, Andy retrieved two cocoa-colored stoneware plates. Andy noticed how the cabinets' white paint was worn and dingy. Fingerprint smudges decorated the door edges. Sighing in frustration, Andy told herself she needed to leave this place, this apartment, with all its memories and failures and…dirt. In the next cabinet she found two clean highball glasses, preferring not to drink beer from the can. So plebian. The pronouncement ran through her mind in a voice sounding eerily similar to her former boss's breathy tone.

Shaking her head to jar such thoughts away—thoughts of Miranda Priestly, Editor-in-Chief of Runway and star of one-too-many erotic dreams—Andy joined her friend on the slightly-worn gingham-patterned couch. Andy efficiently loaded plates and glasses with their casual dinner as Lily prattled about her week. This was a well-rehearsed routine for them. Andy knew better than to interrupt her friend while she ranted about the upper-crust's particular artistic tastes and their whimsical requests for private showings and their arrogant, aristocratic bearing. Lily loved to provide examples of just how ridiculous their demands were whenever she had the opportunity.

In Andy's humble opinion, Lily had no clue. She had very little insight as to the pressures and stresses that affected the rich, the powerful, those in the public eye. Lily may interact with them to a limited extent, may even have witnessed the paparazzi while working at some of the more publicized gallery events, but she made sweeping assumptions that amused, frustrated, and angered Andy depending on the day.

Finally, Lily's weekly report wound down. Andy smirked. Lily grinned. "So, girlfriend. What's up with you?" Lily asked before biting into a slice of pepperoni pizza.

"Well, I'm taking that creative writing course at Columbia. I had it today. We were given an interesting assignment." Andy bit into own piece, rolling her eyes upward at the pure goodness kissing her taste-buds. There was something to be said for really good pizza—something like "hell, yes!" or "halleluiah" or "if I can't be having sex with Miranda Priestly, this will have to do." Andy shook her head, dismayed at just how easily Miranda slipped into her thoughts.

Of course she couldn't be having sex with Miranda Priestly. She was unattainable, larger-than-life, adored, revered, and feared by all, including Andy. She had no chance of getting anywhere near Miranda, never mind kissing, caressing, and fucking her until she passed out in a frothing heap of sweaty, satiated bliss. And, God, wouldn't Andy give anything to see Miranda disheveled and stripped to her glorious, nude form. Just once before she died. Was she asking for too much? Was she reaching for the stars here? Not really. Well, probably.

But, no. That would never happen, and these fantasies served only to taunt Andy with the cruel truth that Miranda was living her life without a spare thought about Andy. As she should be. Andy had deserted Miranda when she had needed her most. With a divorce looming on the horizon and internal politicking the norm at Runway, Andy could not have picked a worse time to exercise her self-righteousness gene by walking away during Paris Fashion Week. Andy sighed, tired of thinking about the past, tired of mentally beating Miranda up, herself up, and the situation in general. She had to move on, dammit!

"Helloooo?" Andy blinked as a hand waved in front of her unfocused eyes. "You in there?" Lily asked.

"Oh! Sorry. I was just…thinking." Andy shrugged her shoulders. She didn't want to talk about it.

"About the course?" Andy decided to nod. So she did. She nodded. Yep. The course.

"He gave us an assignment to relate a song to a real life experience with a particular person and explain it. It's interesting since some songs just pop in my head when I am with someone. Like with you, I think of that time we walked down Main Street when it was raining—remember? We were in the eighth grade?"

Lily began laughing, "Oh, yeah! We started dancing and singing that Earth, Wind & Fire song, and we did this," Lily stood up and pushed her hands down in front of her several times as she rolled her shoulders forward in sequence.

"Right! The song wasn't Earth, Wind & Fire, though. It was KC & the Sunshine Band."

"No, no. Wait! It was the Commodores, wasn't it?" Lily scratched her head as she scrunched her face in thought.

Andy got off the couch and joined Lily. She tried to remember that day. Mainly she could feel the memory, their shared connection on the warm summer day when the rain showers had begun as they'd walked toward the sub shop. Andy started to do the hand motions Lily had just done, then moved her hands behind her back to continue the pushing-down motion. She bent at the knees, pretending to sit down each time. "Oh! That's it! Get your back up off the wall."

"Dance! Come on!" Lily chimed in. "Yeah! Kool & the Gang."

"Yeah." Andy flopped on the couch while chuckling. "Get Down on It. That's the name of the song."

"That was fun. Back then. The good ole days," Lily said dreamily.

Andy snorted. "Do you hear yourself? You're getting old, Lils!" Andy smacked her friend on the arm.

"It's true, Andy! We are getting older. Those were simpler times. Fun times."

"Mmm. Well, Keep on Movin' from Soul II Soul seems to be my theme song for the last two years," Andy admitted.

Lily seemed to sober a bit at that pronouncement. "But, you're happier now, aren't you? I mean, I know the Mirror isn't exactly what you'd hoped, but you're on the right track. And, you are making it, Andy."

"Sure, Lil. I'm fine. Really. I just wish…I just wish." Andy shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I have time and a full life ahead of me. It's getting better every day. I'm making it better." Not wanting to get too serious, Andy took a swig of her beer and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand while smacking her lips loudly. "Aahh! Yummy good." Lily laughed. The moment passed. Life continued.

"So, this assignment. What song are you going use?" Lily asked.

"Oh, who knows. I could write about us and that song or something more recent." Andy's mind returned to Miranda, and she smiled. "Do you want to know what song I always associate with Miranda?" she asked softly. She tended to tread carefully when mentioning Miranda to Lily.

Once Andy had left Runway, she and Lily had taken a "break" from each other. After a few lonely months, Lily had knocked on Andy's door, Chinese takeout and wine in hand and an apologetic smile on her face. Lily had admitted to being a bit jealous at being displaced so completely in Andy's life. She hadn't minded Nate's position since they, with Doug, had spent so much time together, but Miranda was an unknown and unwanted addition to their comfortable world. At that time Lily hadn't been exposed to the pressures of professional life to such an extent. She hadn't understood. Last year, though, Lily had admitted that many of her friends held jobs just as demanding as Runway had been. Andy had accepted the words as they were meant—Lily's way of acknowledging that she understood, finally.

"All the Right Moves by OneRepublic?" Lily guessed. Andy laughed and shook her head.

"Nope. You'll never guess, so I'll just tell you." Andy rubbed her hands on her thighs. "Well, it's really silly. The song is Witch Doctor." Seeing Lily's confused expression, Andy added, "Alvin and the Chipmunks made it famous. Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah-ting-tang-walla-walla-bing-bang. Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah-ting-tang-walla-walla-bing-bang." Andy paused to determine whether Lily recognized the song. Oh, yeah, judging by how she was holding her stomach tightly as she laughed loudly, she knew the song.

"Oh, oh, my God, Andy! What the, what the hell?" Lily wheezed.

Andy agreed that she should explain her song choice. "I know, I know. But, Lily, that's how I always felt around her—I'd totally freeze up, and my conversation skills became nonexistent. She reduced me to spouting gibberish constantly. Just one look, one cocked eyebrow, one glare—I lost all control. And then one day, that song started running through my head." Andy let out a gusty sigh. "That was the worst because from that moment on I had a theme song running through my mind each and every time she reprimanded me." Andy glared at Lily when she began laughing again. "It wasn't funny. It was horrible! I had such a crush on her and then with that song…" Andy trailed off. Oops. Shit.

"Wait. You had a crush on her?" Lily asked. "And I'm just hearing about this now? Two years later?" Lily's eyes rounded in surprise before narrowing in anger. "Andy!"

"It was just, just hero worship or some kind of fan-girl crush or something. It was confusing and frightening and weird. I thought it would wear off as time passed, but it didn't."

"Andy!" Lily leaned forward. "Were you in love with her? Is that why you stopped trying with Nate?"

"In love? Who, who said anything about being in love?" Andy laughed shakily as she ran her fingers through her hair. "No way. No. Way. And my infatuation with Miranda had nothing to do with Nate or our breakup."

"That's not true, and you know it. Miranda had everything to do with your breakup," Lily replied hotly.

"Okay. Okay. I see your point, but it was more about the amount of time I was spending at work, not Miranda herself. Hell, Lily, I spend just as much time at the Mirror. I had to fight to get Sundays off just so I could take this class." Andy took a deep breath, trying to relax. She gazed at her friend. "We've been through this a hundred times. Even if I had worked somewhere else, Nate and I would have broken up eventually. And look at how well he's doing in Boston."

"Well, that's true. He and Jane seem really happy together, and he loves working at the Oak Room," Lily acknowledged.

"Exactly. I'm happy for him, Lily. I couldn't have supported him the way he needs. So, we all grew up and moved on. It's fine." Andy paused to gather her thoughts. "You know what it's like, Lils? It's like when we went to see that play, and we stood at the stage door to get an autograph." Andy nodded knowingly when she saw Lily's look of recognition. "When Kate Mulgrew came out, how did you act?"

"Like a friggin idiot. I just hemmed and hawed and shuffled my feet. I felt like I was standing in a furnace. I was so hot, just waves of heat were rolling over me. I thought I was going to pass out. If you hadn't taken the playbill and asked for the autograph, I would have kept staring and drooling until she'd left." She chuckled at the memory.

"Well, actually, that is pretty much all you did," Andy said. She rubbed her arm and pouted in reaction to the elbow jab she received.

"So, that's how you felt around Miranda?" Lily asked.

"Well, yeah, most of the time. I just, I couldn't get it together. Even in Paris, I was running around frantically most of the time, and it got to be too much. I think if I had stayed, I might have gotten past that feeling, but I also think that realization scared me even more than making a fool of myself in front of her each day."

Lily raised her eyebrows in question. "You were scared to get over your infatuation?"

After a few moments of silent contemplation, Andy nodded. "Yep. I think I was. So I walked away. And that was that. Now I'll never know who she really is or whether I can string coherent sentences together while in her presence." Andy smiled. "Such is life."

They ate more of the pizza without conversation, each face sporting a thoughtful expression. After they'd eaten their fill and sat nursing their drinks, Lily turned to Andy. "You should write about that song and Miranda. It would do you good to get it out of your system. And only your professor will see it."

Andy started to object but stopped. Tilting her head, she thought about the idea. Lily might be right. Writing about that silly song might be just the thing to help her excise some of these demons. Or one devil at least. When Andy agreed, Lily smiled and hugged her tightly. "That's the spirit, Andy. Live dangerously—talk about the witch doctor's advice."

"I think maybe you're a witch doctor," Andy retorted.

"I resemble that!" Lily joked before draining her glass. In a falsetto voice she started to sing, "Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah…" Soon Andy joined in.

Song lyrics:

Witch Doctor by David Seville and sung by Alvin and the Chipmunks

I told the witch doctor I was in love with you
I told the witch doctor I was in love with you
And then the witch doctor, he told me what to do

He said that
Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bing-bang
Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bang-bang
Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bing-bang
Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bang-bang

I told the witch doctor you didn't love me true
I told the witch doctor you didn't love me nice
And then the witch doctor, he gave me his advice

He said that
Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bing-bang
Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bang-bang
Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bing-bang
Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bang-bang

You've been keepin' love from me just like you were a miser
And I'll admit I wasn't very smart
So I went out and found myself a guy who's so much wiser
And he taught me the way to win your heart

My friend the witch doctor, he taught me what to say
My friend the witch doctor, he taught me what to do
I know that you'll be mine when I say this to you

Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bing-bang
Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bang-bang
Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bing-bang
Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bang-bang

You've been keepin' love from me just like you were a miser
And I'll admit I wasn't very smart
So I went out and found myself a guy who's so much wiser
And he taught me the way to win your heart

My friend the witch doctor, he taught me what to say
My friend the witch doctor, he taught me what to do
I know that you'll be mine when I say this to you, oh baby

Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bing-bang

Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting-tang-walla-walla-bang-bang