Well, I just saw SPAMalot on YouTube. I must say, this is the best couple EVER. I mean , I loved them in Holy Grail, but making them be gay just made it for me! They`re so cute together! Enjoy the fluffiness!
This was tortuous, Herbert knew for sure. Being locked in a tower was bad enough, but knowing that somewhere out there, you`re love was in danger of dying at any moment felt worse. Herbert sighed harder as he slunk down further on the cushion ledge of the window, as he tenderly wrapped his finger around the cord of his outrageously pink curtains. It felt like decades since he had seen Lancelot. He wasn`t sure if he could take it much longer.
He could hear a swell of music come from what seem like nowhere. In a voice filled with remorse, dear Herbert sang softly, "Where are you? ... Where are you?...Where are you my heart`s desire... My heart is true but where are you?..."
"ALICE! STOP THAT BLOODY SINGING THIS MINTUE!"
Herbert leapt a few inches off of his seat as the door slammed open with a bang, revealing the vast and intimidating figure that was his father. An immediate shattering noise followed as the man stormed into the room. The vase in which Herbert had kept some flowers that he had picked when he was allowed out on the castle`s swampy grounds, had crashed to the ground and broke apart.
"...It`s Herbert..." The effeminate prince responded weakly as tended to the broken bits of pottery. His father scoffed that off ."Still waiting for your knight in shining armor, I see-" he gave a wicked cackle as Herbert bit his lip. "He promised to come back for me. He did. " The boy arouse from the floor with the pieces of the vase and the flowers in hand.
A rude and obnoxious snort came from the King. "Yeah right," and with that he decide to leave the boy to his deliosuional fantasies .
As with anytime his father said anything about Herbert`s dreams, the prince was lead to comfort himself. "He just doesn`t understand," Herbert soothed himself. " He just doesn't understand..."
Herbert always felt something with Lancelot. His heart was swung off of that constant rhythm and pounded faster and harder, each time Lancelot was in view. He truly loved him. Sure his father was planning to wed him off to some female with "huge tracts of land" (whatever that meant) the day they met. But through much pleading on Herbert`s part and a show of the sword on Lancelot`s half, the Swamp king had the decency to call the wedding off. But the day after Lancelot said that he need to return to his search of the grail.
That was understandable. It was God`s will for him to find it. However, Herbert wasn`t pleased with God`s will. It meant waiting. Hadn`t he already served nearly twenty years of that before?
From the earliest childhood memories Prince Herbert could remember being locked in his accursed tower with hopes that one day he would be saved. But years had passed quicker than expected and soon Herbert found himself in young adulthood and still hero-less. Had no one heard his prayers?
That idea seemed true until Lancelot appear. The knight was everything wanted in s savior and more. Sir Lancelot was big, and strong, and hot. And instantly, Herbert knew that Lancelot was the one true for him. If all it took was a note attached to an arrow shot out of a bedroom window , Herbert would of done that YEARS ago.
His Happy Ending seemed in reach when Lancelot appeared. It was going to be perfect. But as the prince should of learned, it wasn`t that easy. The next morning at dawn Sir Lancelot and Concorde bided their farewells. The knight had promised , just before he galloped away, to come collect his prince from his tower. Prince Herbert`s dream would have to, again, wait.
The young noble sighed even heavier as he threw the pottery bits into a bin and turned to towards the window. The perfumed breeze of early summer in the English country side wafted through and swayed the curtains. Outside, etched over the hills , the faint orange and pink glow of sunset was arriving and tinting the clouds a light shade of purple, and made the surrounding bog sparkle. It was to be a lovely day tommmorw, but not by Herbert`s standards.
The lad slowly walked to his window , gazed out one more time before shutting the window shut.
Tap...tap... tap... tap... tap. Something that was rattling like a raven awoke Herbert from slumber. Grudgingly, he pulled himself upwards in bed. Tap tap tap.
Who could it be at this time of night? The prince thought as he ran a hand through his tangled curls. But then his heart skipped three beats. Could it be...
As quick as a flash, Herbert thrashed open the lacy bed-curtains, placed his feet into his fuzzy pink slippers, and flew to the door. His hand shaking with excitement, he unlocked the window`s hatch and pushed it open.
"Lancelot!" Herbert breathed sounding quite flustered. And , just as he had hoped, the knight was standing below the tall castle armed raised as if to throw a stone.. Behind him, a stout man hunched over with suitcases upon his back and coconuts in hand was waiting patiently.
"Herbert!" The knight called from below. "Oh...," The prince sighed dreamily. " Lancelot I have waited an eternity for this day..."
"Are you kidding?"Lancelot laughed. " It`s barely been a week! It`s just... I`m not sure if I uh... could of taken it anymore." Prince Herbert's checks, which were usually blushed, turned a deep scarlet. "Marry me Lancelot..." the lad whispered.
"So... you want rescued or what?" Awaken from his little fantasy Herbert had nearly forgotten about the real rescue. The youth rushed to the drawer, where he had kept a real rope ladder that he had purposely made for this occasion, and pulled it out. Upon placing it on the window still, Lancelot immediately started climbing upward towards his prince.
When Lancelot finished climbing he met Herbert directly in the eye. Oh how close they where as the knight sat upon the still. Their noses particularly touched. Heat was between them , anyone could feel it. For sure, Herbert could feel the something he had waited for.
"My belongings are right here," Herbert motioned towards his pile that contained his archery equipment , an outrageously girly carpet bag, and several throw pillows. "Oh!" He exclaimed upon remembering something. He grabbed the golden circlet that he usually wore upon his head, but the prince froze when he touched something.
He had only worn it a few times, usually on important kingdom matters, such as a holiday. But other than that his golden band served better. But finding the crown said that Herbert was denying his royal blood and refusing to inherit the land that his father had so treasured.
Maybe he hadn`t figured things through enough. It had always been for him to following his heart and marry Lancelot. But what about the people who his father had ruled over? Who would be their next king once his father died?
Herbert knew it was too good to be true. His Happy Ending was going to happen, but with some limitations. He knew that one-day, after his father was gone, he would be coordinated as King Herbert. But perhaps, he could rule alongside with Lancelot as his partner. That thought somewhat comforted Herbert.
Suddenly, Herbert knew what he had to do. Quickly as he could write, he scribbled out a goodbye-for-now note for his father, explain where he was going and a promise that he would keep. Grabbing his crown, Prince Herbert departed down the hall to his father`s chamber.
Across the room, Herbert could see his father sleeping in the stately bed, snoring away. The prince bustled towards the room, with the aid of the faint candle light.
In Herbert`s somewhat romantic and folk-lore based mindset, he liked to pretend that the reason his father had hated him so was because of his mother. She had died shortly after giving birth to Herbert. Perhaps Herbert looked too similar to her that his sheer existence reminded the King of his dead wife. And maybe that was also the reason behind the "no singing" rule.
Of course Herbert didn`t know if that was true or not. As a lad, his father rarely spoke to him about the past queen. Sometimes it was better not to ask.
Herbert set the crown and note down on his father`s bedside table. When his father would awake in the morning, he would know what had happen to the prince.
Hebert , as a goodbye, peaked through the curtains to look at his father one last time. The man was making a terrible racket with his snoring, but Herbert didn`t care. It was the final time he would see his father in a long while. The prince sank to the man`s level and kissed him upon the forehead. "Goodbye father," he whispered, and tip-toed away for his Happy Ending.
But , because of the dim light that guided him, he couldn`t see very well in front of him. So he tripped upon a table. The continuous snoring from his father ceased, a snort had escaped signaling to Herbert that he was awake. Prince Herbert scuttled to his feet and dashed down the hall towards his own chamber.
"Everything`s been taken care off!" Herbert stated proudly as he burst into his room, to a waiting Lancelot. The knight gave a sly smile as he did a sneak-attack by scooping up the prince right off of his feet. " I can`t believe this is finally happing!" Herbert exclaimed, as he and Lancelot climbed down the ladder to safety on the ground (not before grabbing the curtains from off their hook) His dream was becoming a reality.
"Good night, my prince!" Concorde acknowledged , with as much as a bow as his load upon his back could allow him to do . "Concorde !" Prince Herbert squealed like a little girl as he leapt from Lancelot`s arms to the boggy grass. He ran to the man and kissed him upon the check. For without Concorde , there would be no Herbert for Lancelot to save.
Lancelot smiled and gave a pleasant sigh. " Hop on my back Herbert. I shall carry you to Camelot." Herbert obeyed his love in a heartbeat.
The king had arose with a start from the crash. But he knew what was going on. As soon as he saw the crown sitting beside his bed, he was certain that the Lancelot fellow had come to take him away. But the king was just fine with that.
Now he was starring out of the window of his chamber. In the background, he could hear the faint clanking of coconut shells being banged together. " Should we chase after them your majesty?" A guard who was on duty asked the king, from the doorway.
"No." The King answered, a smile spreading across his face. " Someday you gotta let your kids go and live their own lives..."
The guard drew back a breathe, for he had never heard the king say one kind word or praise to the prince in the fifteen years he had worked there. "That's awfully kind of you..."
Before he could finish the king continued. "Besides, the little brute was becoming quite a leech."
"Oh Lancelot." Herbert sighed as he hugged Lancelot`s neck tighter. The three-some was making a steady pace toward Camelot. Concorde somewhat lagged behind though, because of the enormous amount of junk he had to carry. But other than that, everything was perfect. " This make me want to sing!" And for once, there was no father who restricted him from doing so.