I own a severe case of writer's block at the most inopportune time and a dancing, blue fox who resides in my mind and enjoys torturing me by holding my creativity hostage while doing the tango set to Paramore. Do you see X Men in that list?


A single light bulb lit the room.

The young man with the odd, red and black eyes stared impassively at the blank metal wall before him. He sat on the floor, both legs stretched and crossed at the ankle and his hands supporting on either side of him. Every so often, he'd drum his fingers on the concrete floor. A metal collar around his neck beeped in time with his drumming.

Next to him sat a man perhaps a year younger with a red visor. His face remained stoic except when the red eyed man drummed his fingers. Then there was irritation. Which is why the other drummed. The visored man's legs were also stretched out, and he wore a matching, power-suppressing necklace as well.

Both had one chained to a metal ring bolted to the floor.

Beep Drum Beep Drum Beep Drum

"Stop that."

He did for a moment before replying,

"If not for you and your interferin', bumbling ways, ya would not have gotten me stuck here with you. In that case, I wouldn't be doin' this, but as I am here 'cause of you, then non. I won't."

Beep Drum Beep Drum Beep Drum

"Wait, you're blaming this on me? You're the one who was robbing that lab."

"Oui," he answered in between beeps and drums, "that lab that been experimentin' on different variations of mutant suppressants. I woulda well into celebratin' a successful heist if not for you."

"Or you could have not been in this situation by not trying to steal from them."

"First off, I wasn't 'trying' to steal anything; I was succeeding. But then you got all zap happy on moi and alerted the guards. Second, are ya defendin' the mutant haters?"

"Not at all what I was saying. They're wrong, but you're certainly not doing the public's view of mutants by running around stealing."

"Mais, Xavier say do it, and you're a hero. How you know I'm not helping mutants by what I do? You think you and your X Men the only ones out to help people like us and everybody else jus' out for they own. Et people call moi arrogant."

He ceased the drumming at this point.

"You are."

Beep Beep Beep

"You don't know nothin' about me."

"Same to you."

"Oh, what a comeback. It burns."

Gambit looked at Cyclops for the first time, searching for something that someone else had seen. He just wasn't getting it. He shook his head.

"Ce qu'a fait voir les Rogue en vous? "

"Excuse me?"

"Quoi?"

"What did you just say about Rogue?"

"Did I?"

"Yes, you did."

"Saviez-vous qu'elle avait un béguin pour vous?"

"Why do you keep doing that?"

"I get a kick out of messin' with people, and you keep reacting."

He received no response to that. Once again without distraction, Remy resumed his drumming. Scott noted that as long as they talked, he didn't do it.

"And I'm starvin'."

"What's does that have to do with you being a jerk?"

"I get meaner when I don't eat. As do most people. I'd kill for a good bowl of jambalaya."

"With sausage and shrimp."

"Throw some crawdads in there."

"Put a little hot sauce on it."

Skeptical, he asks,

"What do you know about jambalaya, Summers?"

The drumming stopped.

"Rogue made some once. Then everyone begged her to make more. It's a very rare treat."

"I'm surprised your Northern taste buds can handle actual spice in your food."

"Hot as she makes it, I'm surprised I still can taste. She puts red pepper in her burgers, on her fries, fish, sandwiches, eggs, in a salad. Is that normal?"

"Actually, non. Rare to find a woman with such excellent taste though. Your Jean, she cook for you?"

Hesitation, because really, it was none of his business.

"She…tries sometimes, but she's got a lot going on with school and the team. It's not as bad as Kitty'y, but nothing on earth is as bad as Kitty's cooking."

"It can't be that bad."

"You know Justin Bieber?"

Beep Beep Beep

"Yeah. I hate that guy."

"I despise him with my entire being. I'd sooner pay money to see him in concert and not throw something at him than eat her food."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. And you can't really tell her that because she'll either cry, yell, or phase you halfway through the floor and leave. Rooming with Rogue for so long has made her scary."

"There ya go, keep bringing up Rogue again. Do we need to have a talk?"

"Okay, you brought her up first. You're the one who's stuck on her."

"And she's stuck on you."

"Jealous?"

A snorted laugh.

"Of you? Your arrogance is showing again."

"Je savais qu'elle avait un béguin pour moi. C'est pourquoi vous êtes jaloux."

"Show-off," Remy muttered. "I get that you're in love with Jean, and y'all are soulmates or somethin'. But you could have handled her better than that."

The light glints off of his glasses as he turns to Remy.

"How long were you following her?"

"Long enough to not like ya."

"So you don't like me because I don't like Rogue?"

"Non, I can't stand you because you knew you were hurtin' that girl, but Red weren't around to pay you attention so you let Rogue do it. And you knew."

"Look, even if I weren't with Jean, me and Rogue wouldn't happen. And it has nothing to do with her powers. Rogue's like family. Yes, I knew, but I don't think telling her that I think of her as a little sister would have went over too well either. But believe me when I say, if you ever hurt her, I'll help hunt you down and hold you while she beats the crap out of you."

"You know?"

"About you two sneaking around to see each other? Kitty also snoops and talks a lot. The whole mansion knows."

"She didn't mention."

Beep Beep Beep

"She's the only one who doesn't know we know."

"And how have I not had a visit from Monsieur Wolvie?"

"Call him that to his face, and he'll never leave you alone. The professor had a talk with him. A very, very long talk. As long as Rogue is safe, he's not allowed to come after you."

"Hm. Well, I have no intention of hurting Rogue."

"You actually care about her?"

"Why ya gotta say it like that? Like it's some shockin' thing?"

"I'm just trying to get a feel for where you stand. Because she's on Cloud 9 at this point."

"…what makes you say that?"

"She's smiling more, for one thing. Actually volunteered to go shopping with Kitty and came home with a ton of new clothes, and I saw a lot of red in those bags. And she keeps singing this song."

"What song?"

Coolly eager. How did one pull off such a tone?

"The Thief."

"What?"

"No, that's really the name of the song. All I know is in the chorus, and it's something about talking down walls, looking through windows, and giving a key to the thief."

"You're makin' that up."

"I swear I'm not."

"Huh."

Beep Beep Beep

"Exactly what I said."

"Don't agree with me, ever."

"What the heck am I supposed to say to that?"

"What else does Rogue do?"

"Shouldn't you know since you're her boyfriend?"

"She actually called me her boyfriend?"

"I told you, she doesn't know we know. But that's what you are, right?"

"…whoa."

"Oh, come on. You're just now figuring that out?"

"Like Mr. I've-been-in-love-Jean-since-puberty-but-too-timid-to-tell-her-so-I'll-string-along-the-belle-Rogue has any room to talk. And you don't know how she is. All that singing and smilin' she do 'round y'all, I don't get. That femme likes to screw with my head. I'm not too sure I should be trustin' your judgment though."

"Right…so you've told Rogue you love her?"

"Je vous demande pardon?"

"You heard me, Lebeau."

"Whether or not I love Rogue and whether or not I have told her is entirely none of your business."

"Well, since you don't even know if you're her boyfriend or not, I'd bet you haven't. And hey, I could be wrong about her liking you too. Her and Warren have been getting pretty friendly lately."

"Which one is Warren?"

"Angel?"

"Ah, oui, the one with wings. And is he very attached to those wings?"

"I'm messing with you. Helps with passing the time."

"For this Warren's sake, I hope you're tellin' the truth. How long have we been here?"

"Way too long if we're talking like this."

"Bit disturbin'."

"Very."

"'Cause again, I cannot stand you."

"Same here."

Beep Beep Beep

Beep Drum Beep Drum Beep Drum

"Seriously?"

"Either I do this, or we talk. Not that I wanna talk to you, mais c'est la vie."

What on earth else could they possibly stumble on to talk about?

Beep Drum Beep Drum Beep Drum

Beep Drum Beep Drum Beep Drum

Beep Drum Beep Drum Beep Drum

"I got nothing."

"Yeah."

Beep Drum Beep Drum Beep Drum

"Y'all's rescuing skills need some work."

"Believe me, we'll work on it."


A/N: This is a pointless, lame piece of literature put out to help work through my block. Still not working yet.

And 'The Thief' really is an actual song by Brooke Frasier. I, however, prefer the cover done by smartererchild88.

Translations -

What did see the Rogue in you?

Did you know that she had a crush for you?

I knew that she had a crush for me. This is why you are jealous.

I beg your pardon?