Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers! or the Toaster idea, I sorta just went with it...

please R&R

(After reading fics that feature Ratchet ranting about turning people into toasters I decided to victimize some bots. crack. hope you enjoy)


Optimus Prime was having a nice day. No battles, no meetings, just good, safe, uninterrupted paperwork with some golden age classical music.

That is… he was having a peaceful, uninterrupted day until Jazz walked by his open office door carrying a transformer sized toaster with suspicious looking doorwings.

Curious Optimus stood from his nice, safe paper work and poked his helm around the door as the black and white saboteur casually let himself into Prowl's office. With a final glance to his unfinished paperwork he strode out into the corridor seriously hoping that he had made the right decision.

Optimus walked into his SIC's office, sub-spacing a data-pad as he went, might as well pretend to not be nosy. He glanced up from the scrawl of doodles to see Jazz plonk the toaster down on his SIC's desk in front of the small stack of data-pads that Prowl still had to do.

"Jazz?" he asked feigning surprise as the visor clad TIC looked up with a grin, giving the toaster a pat over the slots.

"Hiya OP!" Jazz grinned looking down at the toaster "Say hi Prowl!"

"Hello sir" the doorwing decorated toaster grumbled as he shuffled on the stubby legs of the black and white rectangle, little doorwings giving a flap for balance as Prowl tottered a little bit to quickly and risked rolling onto his side.

"I guess Ratchet followed through on his threat?" Optimus said biting his bottom lip-plate to prevent himself from laughing as Jazz pulled his bondmate back to his spot in front of the data-pads little legs straining for purchase on the metal desk.

"Actually it was Wheeljack, another experiment exploded while I was in the near vicinity" Prowl grumbled, his voice, a tad muffled, coming from the two slots in his back "Remember how he accidently turned the twins into Sparklings?"

"Yes, he was still working on that wasn't he?" Optimus asked trying to keep a straight face as Jazz made himself comfortable in his bondmate's chair as Prowl made slow progress of baby steps towards the stack of data-pads. "What's the news?"

"They got turned into toasters too" Jazz smiled evilly tapping Prowl on his lowered chevron that was pushed down "Three, Two, One"

Prowl's ruby chevron bounced up to the top of the SIC-turned-toasters helm - or where his helm would have been - the rack inside the slots popping back up into place with a jolt.

Two mini-toasters popped out, both squealing in delight as Jazz caught them and placed them on the desk. "Optimus meet mini-toaster Sideswipe and mini-toaster Sunstreaker!" the Saboteur laughed as the two baby toasters ran around Prowl on tiny stubby legs, the rocking horse motion of their run making Prime laugh out loud along with Jazz.

"It's not funny!" Prowl tried to shout in vain as the toaster twins ran about him squealing and laughing, not understanding in the least what was going on

Optimus coughed meaningfully "I apologize Prowl, how long will you be stuck like this?"

"Until Wheeljack fixes whatever device exploded" the agitated SIC grumbled as Sideswipe and Sunstreaker suddenly parked themselves on either side of the Datsun toaster, curled up against his legs and dropped off into re-charge drawing a sound that was suspiciously like 'aww' from behind Optimus' mask.

"Why were you keeping the twins in the slots Jazz?" Optimus asked as Prowl gave and irritated flap of his doorwings.

"They were cold" the Saboteur shrugged "I know Prowl is supposed to make energon toast but warming up mini-toasters seems to be another function"

"I'll give you mini-toasters" Prowl growled to himself managing to step over the sleeping twins and totter unstably to his work

"You should try that rocking horse run thing that the twins had going Prowl" Jazz suggested to his bondmate gently patting the Datusn turned kitchen appliance on a wing

"Not a chance" the SIC snapped trying to walk in a dignified manner instead of rocking like a childs toy to get where he wanted "Ratchet is already having a field day just having a look at us and taking blackmail image captures, I'm not about to add fuel to the proverbial fire by adopting the motions of a rocking horse!"

"He's had to babysit the twins all afternoon" Jazz stage whispered to a snickering Optimus "He's a little cranky that the twins have decided that he is now their mama toaster"

"Very funny Jazz, laugh it up" Prowl said sourly as he managed to get one data-pad off of the stack and tap away with his stubby new legs "No 'snuggle time' for you for a vorn, that I promise you"

"That's a bit harsh!" Jazz cried as Optimus rolled his optics

"Prowl not to be patronising but how can you see?" Optimus asked curiously as he noted that the Datsun had no optics that he could see

"Because I'm just that brilliant" Prowl snorted "I don't know actually, some hocus pocus or other. Wheeljack could probably explain"

"Prowl take some of those days off you have stored up to uh… take care of the twins" Optimus said easing the data-pad away from the datsun toaster who made a shrill note of protest "It's only until you are back to normal then I promise I will give you your data-pads back"

The Adult toaster grumbled and stumbled back over to Jazz just as the twins popped back onto their toaster legs. Both Twins made a beeline for Prowl and with Jazz's help jumped onto the SIC toaster's back to hitch a ride. "See ya later OP!" Jazz called as he walked out of the door, taking a moody Prowl and two bite-sized toasters with him

Optimus went back to his office chuckling deciding that, hey it could have been worse.

Suddenly Wheeljack's voice came over the ARK tannoy system "Uh… not to alarm anybody or anything but if you see a group of flying toasters that respond to Fireflight, Slingshot, Air Raid and Skydive can you please direct them back to the Medbay?"