Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or these movies and I don't wish to make any profit from this story.
Fight Smarter, Not Harder
"35... *hah* 36... *hah* And my arms are going to fall off." Hiccup dropped the rock and collapsed. He lay on his back as he panted. "Funny, lifting rocks to gain muscles sounded better when Gobber said it," he muttered out loud. Granted, he had also said smashing your head against rocks works as well, so I should really question my sources more.
Hiccup sat up sighing. "At this rate I'll be an old man before I'm actually able to fight dragons." He hugged his knees. "I might as well face the fact I'm going to be a runt for the rest of my life," he looked around. "And I'm talking to myself which is a terrific sign of my sanity." He laughed bitterly. "At least I'm not hearing voices."
"AH! This is ridiculous!"
Hiccup jumped. He did not just hear that right?
"Sir, calm down. We'll fix it."
Hiccup froze. No, the voices were real and not in his head. Good, but who was yelling? It didn't sound like anyone he knew. He bent low as he woved in and out of the bushes. The yelling grew louder.
"Minion, pass me that wrench."
There was more grumbling as Hiccup drew closer. Suddenly, his foot landed on a small bumpy object. Hiccup lifted his feet and stared. It was an odd piece of metal. It was round and twisted in various places. Hiccup picked it and examined it closely. What on earth is this thing? He held the object and continued forward. The strange voices continued as Hiccup peered over the bushes.
For a split second, he was convinced he had been knocked out at some point. A dream was the only way to explain the sight before him.
A tall blue creature kicked and whacked a small metal ship. The creature next to him was even odder. He had a fish for a head, but had large furry arms and legs. Hiccup chewed his bottom lip. What in Thor's name were these things?
The blue creature sighed. "All I wanted was to go back to yesterday. Was that too much to ask?"
"No," replied the fish creature. "Although, Roxanne did state she doesn't really care about Valentine's day."
"Well I do!...At least I did once she explained it to me what it was about." The blue creature tugged at the metal ship. "And all I wanted to do was to make it up to her-"
"Which you could have done next year," the fish-creature replied.
"And yet because of a minor calculation we end up in this barbaric period."
Hiccup tapped his chin as the blue creature continued to grumble. He racked his brain for answers. What were these things? Then, an old memory of his mother telling him stories of large strange creatures that roamed the lands and tried to eat humans. "Trolls," he muttered. Although, I thought they turned to stone in sunlight and aren't they supposed to be bigger and hairier?
Still, it was the only logical explanation for that he was seeing. He never believed in trolls, but giving these creatures a name made him feel more sane. Either that or I should stick to the theory that I'm dreaming
"Blast!" the blue creature cried. "A part is missing."
The fish head creature stretched his head. "Which part, Sir?"
"The vibrating cortex, it's vital."
Hiccup gulped and stared at the small object in his hands. Crud! Okay, don't panic. What are the chances he'll look in this direction?
The blue creature placed his hands behind his back. "Let's see, with the force of our landing, and the weight of the object..."
The blue creature walked towards him. I hate my luck.
"It should be right here!" The blue creature crashed through the bushes nearly tripping. His eyes met Hiccup's. Silently, they stared, neither of them daring to move. "In the hands of a boy," the blue creature muttered. He coughed and Hiccup rose to his feet. "Now, there is no reason to panic kid. All I want is that part- HEY! NO! DON'T RUN! COME BACK! DANG IT!"
Hiccup's fear powered his legs as he ran. "Got to warn the village, got to warn the village," he repeated the mantra to himself. He ignored the twigs and branches that scratched his face as he dashed by through. Unfortunately, his high speed made it difficult to brake when a ledge appeared.
His feet stopped, but it proved too late. Hiccup dove headfirst yelling over the ledge and landed in the bush a meter below. "Ow," Hiccup moaned slowly. He sat up while rubbing his head and found that by some miracle had kept his hold on the strange device he found.
"Well, today can't get any worse."
A growl froze his blood. Hiccup gulped. He knew that growl. All viking children were forced to memorize this growl from they moment they were born. Gradually he turned, hoping not to set off the creature he wished to not be there.
It really was his worst day. A dragon, a gronckle to be precise, growled from a mere foot away. Hot breath hissed from its mouth. Its tail swished back and forth. Hiccup remained still. His brain rattled with every possible method to escape. Just as he reached plan number 25 a loud cry was heard.
A blue blur fell from above and landed in the same bush as Hiccup. Some cursing could be heard as Hiccup quickly recognized the troll from earlier.
The blue troll swiftly stood up and locked eyes on Hiccup. "There you are you thief! Listen you I-"
The gronckle cut him off with another growl. The blue troll blinked stunned. "Is that a dragon?"
"No, it's a cat! Of course it is!" Hiccup hissed. "Don't move unless you want to be roasted."
Then the troll did something unexpected, he rolled his eyes. "Oh, for heaven's sake." As if he was dealing with a household fly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out what Hiccup assumed to be a weapon.
Steam came from the gronckle and it appeared ready to fire flames. "I don't have time for this," the troll snapped. "A bright light shot from the weapon. The light hit the dragon, and turned it into a small blue cube. Hiccup's jaw dropped. "How did you do that?"
"Science," the troll simply replied. "Now, give that back" he growled as loudly as the gronckle previously had.
Megamind had expected many different types of reactions from the young teen. Fear, sudden worship, faint on sight. Instead, the boy's face suddenly grew hard and he grabbed a small dagger from his belt and pointed it at his nose. "I won't let you eat me or the village!" the boy declared. "Do you hear me!"
Megamind blinked and then massage his temples. "Listen to me carefully, I've had a long tiring day so I'm going to make this clear." He cleared his throat. "I have done many things, but believe me, cannibalism has never been on that list. Even if it was, I wouldn't select a young skinny boy as my first victim. Understood?"
The boy stared with a blank look. "Say what?"
"I'M NOT GOING TO EAT YOU!" Megamind breathed deeply. "Now, I shall be taking this back." He seized the spare part off the ground. "And I'll be leaving. So goodbye...um what's your name?"
"Hiccup," the boy replied slowly.
"Hiccup? Huh? And people complain that I have a weird name."
"Sir!" Minion jumped down from the ledge. "Oh good, you found the missing part." Then he noticed Hiccup and gave a small wave. "Um, hi?
"Hi?" replied Hiccup sounding unsure. He looked the both of them up and down. "Funny, you're not what I pictured for trolls."
Megamind's jaw dropped. "A troll?" He shook the spare part. "I'll have you know I've done many evil things, but I would never stoop to such a low social class-"
"Sir," Minion cut in. "I believe he is referring to the mythological creature. Remember, the internet has not been invented yet."
Megamind opened and closed his mouth. "Oh, right." He cleared his throat. "Yes, Minion and I are trolls, which should have no great effect on the time stream if we admit that. Yes, that should do nicely," Megamind tucked the spare part into his pocket. "Now, if you don't mind, we shall be off to head home and you shall return to...what were you doing before you saw us?"
Hiccup shrugged. "Lifting rocks."
"Lifting rocks." Megamind paused. "What, really? Wow, I know pastimes were simpler here but I never imagined children would be bored enough to play with rocks."
"I believe pet rocks were popular for a time, Sir."
"I'm not playing with rocks," Hiccup stated sourly. "I'm lifting them to build muscles."
Megamind raised an eyebrow. "Why on earth would you want to do that?"
The boy sighed. "Look at me. I'm the smallest kid in my village, which is home to vikings."
"Ah," Megamind replied, unsure how to respond. Most of the children he ever dealt with screamed or cried at him. Granted that had stopped since he turned hero, but this was still hard to get used to. "I'm sure it's not that big of a deal."
Hiccup scoffed. "It is when you're constantly attacked by dragons. If I don't get bigger, I'll always be the village runt." Hiccup sighed and leaned on his hands. "And now I'm confessing my problems to a troll, wow, my life is going great."
"You're very sarcastic for one so young," Megamind muttered, puzzled. He was never this sarcastic as a boy.
Hiccup scoffed. "I need to be good at something besides being the kid that stands out the most."
Megamind felt his heartstrings tugged, but he tossed this sudden sympathy aside. "Well, I'm sorry for your problems, but we should be going." He and Minion turned to leave. "Just keep your chin up and use your brain."
"Use my brain? How would that help?"
Megamind and Minion continued walking. He should leave, he really should. "Because it's the greatest weapon anyone could ever have."
Hiccup laughed. "Yeah, sure. That would go well with my dad. He says I should spend less time thinking and more time sharpening our spears."
Megamind froze. He shouldn't, he really shouldn't. Then why on earth was he turning around and sitting next to the boy.
"Uh, Sir?" Minion asked nervously.
Megamind ignored the comment and cleared his throat. "You remind me a lot of myself at your age."
Hiccup raised an eyebrow. "You were a scrawny viking desperate to seek the village's approval?"
"Yes-er, not. not the viking part." Megamind coughed. "I never quite fit in as a kid."
Minion nodded. "That's right we stood out like a sore thumb."
Megamind nodded. "Exactly-"
"We got teased, picked on, picked last for dodge ball, and don't get me started on the rejections from girls in high school-"
"Thank you, Minion," Megamind growled. He turned back to Hiccup. "Yes, I was the outsider, never 'fit in' as they say. However, I learned that I had a valuable weapon."
Hiccup leaned on his hand, not expressing any enthusiasm. "And what's that?"
"I learned that my mind is the greatest weapon. I learned to fight back with my brain." He bolted to his feet. "And look how I turned out!"
Hiccup eyed him up and down. "A tall skinny troll with weird clothes?"
"Yes! Wait, no!" Megamind held his gun in an attempt at a heroic pose. "You are gazing upon one of the greatest heroes that world has ever known!" He smirked. "You did witness me defeating that dragon did you not?"
Hiccup up raised an eyebrow. "And how long did it take you to accomplish this?"
Megamind paused. "Well," he calculated in his head. "If you subtract my years fighting my arch rival then-"
"20 years would be a good round number," Minion replied.
Hiccup sighed. "I figured." He folded his arms. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I was hoping to reach success a bit sooner than that."
Megamind sighed. "Haven't you been listening? Just use your head!"
Hiccup glared. "All right, tell me, if you were in my position, how would you fit into a village that fights dragons as often as anyone breathes?"
Minion whistled. "Good question."
Megamind shot a glare and drummed his fingers on his gun. "Well, if it was me, I would try to capture it."
"Capture it?" Hiccup replied.
Megamind mind shrugged. "Sure, it's just like any other wild animal."
"That breathes fire," Minion replied sourly.
"So, there should be no reason why it you shouldn't be able to catch it in a cage of some kind."
Hiccup frowned. "Capture...I suppose if I got enough rope, but it would be hard to catch while it was on the ground. Maybe I can catch it in midair?"
"There you go!" Megamind encouraged. "That's the spirit."
Hiccup nodded. "Yeah, thanks and not to be rude, but I'm going to ponder on this...and also leave before I start to actually believe I'm talking to a troll."
"Sure thing!" Megamind replied as he turned to leave for the second time. Hiccup gave a small wave without glancing back, stroking his chin in thought. Satisfied, Megamind walked away tossing the spare part in the air. "Well, Minion, let's go home."
"Sire, are you sure encouraging that kid was such a good idea?"
Megamind laughed. "Come now Minion, what harm could it do to give a young boy some advice?"
It was late when Hiccup walked through the door of his house. He heard voices from the back room.
"Gobber, why would you tell him that?"
"He asked me what you did to get stronger? Did you want me to lie?"
"If it meant Hiccup wouldn't run off, and possibly split his head open, then yes. You know he's not fit for-"
"Dad, I'm home and can hear your private conversation about me."
Stoick instantly appeared in the door frame. "Hiccup, good you're home." He walked over to Hiccup with Gobber close behind polishing his hook. "Listen, Hiccup, I know you've been talking to Gobber, but I don't want you to-"
Hiccup raised his hands. "No need to worry that, I'm not going to try to get stronger."
Stoick blinked. "You're not?"
Hiccup nodded. "Yeah, I realized taking dragons head on is not a good idea for me."
Stoick sighed and glanced back to Gobbler. "Glad to hear that son. You will do much better helping Gobber-"
"Which is why I decided to just try to capture a dragon instead."
Stoick's relieved grin vanish. "Capture?"
"Sure, it would be like catching a wild animal."
"That breathes fire!" Stoick replied.
Gobber tapped his hook against his chin. "Hmm...it's not such a bad idea."
"Gobber, don't help," Stoick snapped. "Hiccup, where are you going?"
Hiccup glanced back down the stair. "Can't talk now dad, I have some ideas I want to work on. I'll have dinner later."
As Hiccup closed his bedroom door, Stoick slowly turned to Gobber glaring.
"Don't look at me," Gobber replied. "I didn't give him that idea."
"Well, whoever did I want to wring his neck."
A hundred years in the future, Megamind felt a shiver go down his spine.