A/N: A new one based on the idea that even tough, hard women read Cosmopolitan and heed the mag's advice. ;)
DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.
Olivia was on her third martini, laughing at yet another funny suggestion the magazine in her hands had made. She handed it to Casey, and she shook her head. "You actually did it? Did that really happen, or are you…"
"Hand to God," Casey said, holding up her left hand as her right splayed over her heart. "It happened, and to this day it's my most embarrassing sexual encounter."
Melinda, looking at her with a chuckle, asked, "How did that idea even enter your mind? You didn't think maybe you'd get stuck?"
"I read it in Cosmo, okay?" Casey defended, holding up the magazine. "They said it was supposed to be thrilling. One of the most satisfying places to do it."
Olivia laughed harder. "You have to keep the lid down, Casey! You're supposed to fuck on the washing machine, not in it!"
"In my defense, we were both completely trashed, all right?" Casey said, shaking her head. "I've tried a couple of those tips now, and they don't work."
Melinda scoffed. "Obviously you're not doing them right." She grabbed the magazine out of Casey's hands and said, "You should let a woman with more finesse let you know if they do," she said, eying Olivia.
Olivia caught the look both girls were now giving her. "Oh, no," she said, shaking her head and sipping her martini. "First of all, I am not the type to experiment in bed. Secondly, I'm not seeing anyone right now, and I'm not gonna march up to Langan and try 'number thirty-seven' on him!"
Melinda narrowed her eyes. "Oh, please," she said. "You're getting' down and dirty on a regular basis, Benson. It's obvious. You don't have to tell us who your mystery hunk is, just tell us if numbers one through sixty-five actually work." She slid the magazine back over to Olivia with a grin.
Olivia looked down at the glossy paperback, biting her lip. She thought of the tips in this issue's articles, and she had to admit they all intrigued her. "Fine. I'll do it. One question, though. Why me?" she asked. "You and Hank could easily…"
"Married people don't have sex," Melinda said rolling her eyes. "At least, not like that. If I did any of those things to Hank, he'd have a heart attack. You need to do this, because your sex life is already uninhibited. From the stories you've told us…"
"Married people have incredible sex," Olivia snapped, shutting her up. She picked up the magazine and flipped to the article they'd been chuckling about all night. "You just didn't marry the right guy."
Casey laughed. "This is coming from the world's biggest commitment-phobe."
Olivia rolled up the magazine and smacked Casey with it, chuckling. "I'm not afraid of it, I'm just waiting for the guy who's worth it."
Melinda laughed and shook her head. "Girl, you already found him. You're just a few years, a wife, and a couple of kids too late."
Olivia raised an eyebrow. "She left him months ago," she said. "But that doesn't mean I'm gonna…"
Casey gasped. "Benson!" she yelled. "You go over there right now and you work your 'number-twenty-one' on him until he is putty in your hands. Take the bull by the balls, literally, and get what you've wanted for…"
"Hold on!" Olivia said, holding up a hand. "I thought you were both absolutely sure that I was seeing some mysterious stranger and getting laid every night! Now you want me to cheat on whoever he is and seduce my recently divorced partner?"
Melinda sipped her drink and nodded. "Pretty much," she said. "If there's any guy in the world worth proving Cosmo right for, it's him. That body alone would…"
"Hey," Olivia said, her eyes narrowing. "You're married."
"Yeah, but not dead," Melinda chuckled. "The man is hot."
"Okay," Olivia said, rising and throwing down some money. "This conversation is no longer fun. I am taking my trashy magazine and I am going home." She kissed both girls on the cheek and headed for the door, smirking. Sometimes, lawyers and doctors were really oblivious.
She pushed the door open, stepping through it quietly. She looked around, not seeing any sign of life or movement, as she had grown used to. She put her clutch and the magazine down on the coffee table, stepped out of her heels, and walked toward the bedroom. She smirked when she stopped at the open doorway, captivated by the sight before her.
He was naked, standing in front of the closet, his back to her. She stepped forward, slowly, tip number one playing in her mind. She watched as he reached for a new pair of jeans, and she held her breath when he turned to throw them onto the bed. He didn't see her, and she moved again. She tiptoed up behind him, reached around his waist, and she felt him jump.
"Hey," he said, trying to turn around, but her hands moved, stopping him. "Oh, hello."
She chuckled, her left hand teasing his member, her fingers running up and down slowly bringing it to life. "Hello," she whispered against the skin of his back. She pressed a soft kiss between his shoulder blades as her right hand curled around his stiffening rod, and she began to stroke.
He moaned, his head falling back a bit against hers. "What are you…"
"Shh," she said, her left hand splaying over his strong chest. "Just enjoy it," she cooed into his ear. Then she nibbled on it, sucked his lobe, and ran her tongue around the edge.
"Jesus," he seethed. He blinked hard then opened his eyes, looking down. It was the most erotic thing he'd seen in a while, her hand working him over as he would normally do himself, from the same vantage point. He hardened more as he looked on.
"Tell me," she whispered. "Tell me, baby."
He moaned and grunted out a soft, "Harder. Baby, harder." He moved his hands to her hips, feeling the silk of her dress under his fingers. He slid over her body, reaching around further to cup her ass and pull her closer to him. "God damn, honey," he seethed, feeling her grip tighten.
She nipped at his shoulder, peeking over at her handiwork, watching her hand move over his manhood. She moved faster, knowing what he wanted, how he wanted it. "Hope I'm not keeping you from anything," she said, chuckling.
"God, no," he moaned, dropping his head to the side to find her eyes. "Just drinks with the guys. I'm gonna be so fucking late." He chuckled and reached one hand up to caress the side of her face, and he turned slightly to kiss her as her hand kept moving.
She moaned into their kiss, into his open mouth, and worked him faster, harder, all thoughts of magazines and advice out of her head and concentrating only on him, on this. She felt him begin to pulse in her hand, and she felt his body rocking.
"Baby, I…shit," he said, shaky, as he kissed her more fervently. He bucked his hips and grunted against her lips, shooting hotly into her hand. He nibbled at her bottom lip as he tried to catch his breath. "What was that for?" he asked. "And thank you."
She laughed, reaching for the still-damp towel he'd draped over the bed. She wiped off her hands then reached for him again, sliding the towel up his legs, over his spent body. "That was because I love you, and I missed you. It was just something I read about, I thought you'd enjoy it, and clearly I was right." She kissed his lips as she tossed the towel over his head into the hamper.
He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her softly. "I love you, too," he said. "I did enjoy that, very much. Whatever you've been reading, uh, keep reading it."
She laughed and kissed him again, then wiggled out of his hold. "You should go, they're waiting for you. Just behave yourself, don't drink too much, and come home before two in the morning, huh?"
He chuckled. "They can wait, I always behave myself unless I'm with you, and I'll be back in an hour. I really don't wanna listen to Hank complain about his lack of a sex-life, and if Fin asks me to hook him with Casey one more time, I'm gonna punch him." He kissed her nose and reached for his jeans, pulling them on quickly.
She bit her lip, watching him. He had changed a few things about his life since they began seeing each other, and that was one of them. It turned her on knowing that, for the last few months, no matter what he was wearing, he chose to forego underwear. It made things easier for them when he came home. "I'll be waiting for you," she said seductively, raking her nails down his back as he tried to pull on his shirt.
"What are you gonna do without me?" he asked, smirking, pulling the fabric down.
She smirked back at him. "I think I'm gonna read," she said. She laughed at his expression and said, "I love you, El."
He kissed her and gave her hair a playful tug. "I love you, too, baby. I'll be back soon. I promise." He ran out into the living room, and she heard the jingle of his keys, scuff of his shoes, and the slamming of the door.
She laughed and padded out into the living room after he was gone. She reached for her clutch, pulled out her phone, and dialed a number. "Mel? It's me. Yeah, uh, number one definitely works."
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