Explanation: once upon a time, there were a couple of very un-serious FK fans devoted to the not taking seriously of all things fandom. a two person faction of lurkers, so to speak. Princess Dragonmom howled herself off her chair several times reading their fiction and asked if she could join in, thus earning her very own time/space folding mechanism during her first lurk. also getting lost for a while. since then, she has been joined in her adventures by a daughter, a virtual adopted daughter and any number of happy go loony assistants depending on the universe to be lurked. boredom is a frequent factor in getting started -

Time: Yes

Place: The Mortal Kombat Conquest universe, 1st and only season

Pairings: As if

Rating: Dorky

A Lurk-in in Old zhou zhin 1/2

Mid afternoon in southern New Mexico is hot, dry and inclined to make elder reptiles sleepy - or restless - or a really bizarre combo of the two. The seaquest addict wandered in with her virtual alter ego, Tes, a 4000 year old vampire who looked little older than the addict.

"Hi, dragon. We're bored."

dragon looked at the two of them warily. "And this means?"

"We want to play," Tes said sweetly.

dragon considered this. "Uh-huh. You do realize that the SG1 crowd is likely to tar and feather us after the pizza fiasco." They nodded and looked depressed. How were they supposed to know that Domino's didn't deliver to Cheyenne Mountain? For that matter, it had been dragon's idea to tesserect in the pizzas in front of the gate that Danny boy landed in.

They snickered at the thought of delicious Daniel covered in pizza. dragon frowned at the younger of the two girls who immediately tried for angelic and failed miserably due to an unscheduled smirk. dragon sighed. Then she looked thoughtful. Tes and the seaquest addict looked hopeful.

"Yes?" they said as one.

"Well, there are a trio of somewhat serious people we have yet to annoy."

The seaquest addict frowned. "Three's off the air."

"Mod Squad the Movie's not worth it," Tes offered an opinion.

"Farscape's got more than three."

"Yeah. OK. So - 7th Heaven?" The vampire had the grace to look abashed as the other two frowned at her.

"Dragon Ball Z!" The addict collapsed in giggles. "OK, OK. Not DBZ."

"Martial arts?" dragon hinted.

"What's she writing fan fic about these days?" Tes asked in a theatrical whisper.

The addict shrugged her shoulders. "Some old gray haired guy – Rayvac, Ray- something." She carefully refrained from looking directly at dragon while she fought to keep from laughing. She failed and collapsed on the floor for a few moments while Tes frowned at her.

"OK. I seem to be missing something here."

"Mortal Kombat."

"A video game? You're writing fan fic for a video game?"

dragon looked long suffering and considered duct tape. "OK. Fine. You stay here, swelter in the heat, melt if you step into the sun and I'll go introduce distance weapons to MK."

The addict sat up and her outlook brightened greatly. "Balloons? Water? Paintball? Lemme come? Please? ? Pretty please? I'll baby sit the klingon muppet."

"I don't need a *baby* sitter," a grumpy little voice informed the room as it entered closely followed by a scowl of klingon proportions. Technically, she really wasn't a klingon, or a muppet, although the fuzzy version of the batl'eh she carried might just have qualified her as such. She swatted her older sister and grinned ferociously. "Where ya goin'?"

"No place," the addict shot back.

"Then what's she doin' here?" the younger one returned volley, pointing at the vampire who was aspiring to be mistaken for part of the furniture.

"Uh -"

"You can't go. You have to make sure Max doesn't follow us. Besides, you can't lurk until you're twelve."

"Why not?"

"Because, oh mule faced one, I said so. And mommies and dragons are part of the I Say So Corp."

The mulish look quivered. She fought hard to maintain her look of belligerence. She lost. A very nice grin replaced the scowl and she agreed. Maybe she could beat the godzilla-phile at primal rage – again, she thought as she watched the other three get ready. 12, huh. Well, two more years. Yeah. She'd get to go on a lurk a year *before* *he* did! There was a great deal of satisfaction in that thought.

dragon considered loading up the cattruck and decided against it. In the environs of Toronto the cattruck was anonymous. Inside Cheyenne Mountain it had been ignored. Something told her it might just attract attention in a no horse town like Xia - Zh - whatever the name of the town was where her current targets resided.

They quickly inventoried the *gifts* they were taking with them, checked the loads on the supersoakers, made certain the backpack contained sufficient snacks and Coke/Dr. Pepper tm to get them through several gruelling hours of tormenting the objects of their obsession, and dragon thumbed the button that would take them to -

"Uh - Mom. I don't think this is it."

The streets were crowded with oriental people - and bicycles – and very, very official looking cops with white gloves directing the hordes of pedestrians and bicyclers and the very, very few motorized vehicles to be seen. A fight broke out suddenly, several oriental men, one largish brute of a caucasian, an elderly oriental and a petit, but very martial,young woman. The old man went down, the woman ran. Pursuit.

"Anna Mao Wong?" dragon wondered aloud? She looked around. Oh, there it was. Yep. That was Anna Mao Wong, and there was the film crew and why were they in Hong Kong during the filming of Enter the Dragon? She thought plaintively. She shook the oversized remote looking thing in her hand and reviewed the coordinates. Oh, yah. Square root of one, not square root of two. She flashed a sheepish grin at Tes and the seaquest addict, reentered the corrected coordinates and thumbed the control again.

"Who dares!" boomed a very loud voice not too far away from the trio. Their heads snapped around to face the source.

"Oh Shit!"

"Here we go again."

"Mooooooooooooommmmmmmmm!" came the multi-syllabic complaint of the seaquest addict as she scrabbled at her belt for her own version of the tesserect dragon carried. She grabbed for Tes with her free hand and hit the switch. It wasn't until they arrived at the safe, bolt hole destination that she realized that 1) tes hadn't grabbed dragon and 2)she had no idea what the coordinates were that dragon had used so that she could go rescue her.

She leaned back against one of the curved metal ribs of the very large submersible and slid down it. Tes blinked at her. A very nice bottle nosed dolphin swam lazily past in a plexiglass tube, swam back, laughed at the two of them and swam off again. The seaquest addict buried her head in her hands. Now just how was she going to explain leaving dragon in Shao Kahn's throne room?

dragon, brain numb, knees trying valiantly to jelly and fingers incapable of even fumbling at the buttons of her tesserect, stared at Shao Kahn and wondered just how she was going to explain this. Oh, of course. After all, this wasn't RL, this was a lurk!

dragon nudged the frozen part of her brain that dealt with virtual shaping configurations and shifted into her virtual configuration.

Shao Kahn, now both bewildered and pissed off, faced a thirty foot long, gleaming black and silver chinese style dragon who sat coiled at the foot of the stairs to his throne and still managed to stare him in the face with huge, gleaming black centered, silver eyes. He grabbed for his sword and swung. dragon caught the blade in one gracefully taloned front paw/hand. Grinning she licked him with the end of her long graceful tongue and folded out, sword still gripped in paw.

Shao Kahn bellowed.