Title: Limericks for St. Patty's Day
Summary: Let's celebrate the holiday with traditional dirty limericks!
Word Count: 186
Rating M
Disclaimer: I has a dirtay mouff. I pwns nutting.

There once was a girl from Phoenix

Who loved a sparkly penis.

It shined and it glittered

He smirked and she tittered

As they sought the virtues of Venus

There once was a boy from La Push

Who had a mighty fine tush.

He made dance his pecs

With an upper arm flex

And made all the girlies' twats gush.

There once was a god-man named Ed

Who lived amongst the undead

His looks were so hot

It dampened my twat

And made me want to give head.

There once was a doctor named Carlisle

Whom I got to know for a while.

We rolled in the hay,

Twas a very fine day.

I left him to part with a smile.

There once was a family named Cullen

With a son who was always quite sullen.

I tossed him some porn,

And some lotion that warmed,

And told him he best get to pullin'.

There once was a girl named Bella

Who caught the eye of this fella.

She was the princess of Ice

Not at all nice!

So he told her to go to Hella.