This is a super smash collab with Robin-Red Blackwaters and me! I wrote the first half and had no idea how to write a this lemon with so little to work with... but the lovely Robin-Red Blackwater rocked it and made it funny as hell. This chica's mind is twisted and fucking hilarious in the best ways! You have to go check out her profile too, her other stories kick some major ass. So without further adieu... please enjoy! Sadly, Twilight is not mine; but the characters are fun to play with in an alternate universe. If you recognize a line... like a movie or song quote... it does not belong to me.


Click. Click. Click.

The relationship between...

"Hey Edward."

Click. Click. Click.

art and the state of our…


Click. Click. Click.

environment is parallel.

"Dude, come on."

Click. Click. Click.

Thoreau and Emerson...

Sitting in the library I continue to type my essay about the connection between public art and ecological restoration, yeah I know, the good stuff, while ignoring his pleas for attention. I just know he's going to try and get me to go out and party. Apparently I am "boring as shit" and I need to "spread my wings and fly" so I can stop being an "introverted geeky dickhead". You have got to love Emmett and his eloquence. I have my priorities though, I mean, this paper is due in two weeks and I would like to get my rough draft finished.

Click. Click. Click.

use written word to…

"Eddie I know you can hear me!" Emmett whispers with annoyance. Well good! I'm irritated too. I'm the one trying to work on homework and all he wants to do is goof around. We're in a library! In the middle of my mental rant I feel a small slimy object hit the side of my neck facing Emmett. Fucking Emmett! Reaching my hand up, I am disgusted to find out he shot a spit ball at me. He knows how I feel about germs, and he's going to shoot spit covered balls of paper at me?

Opening my backpack I pull out my package of travel wet wipes and hand sanitizer. I don't know why I tried, it's impossible to ignore Emmett, when he wants your undivided attention; he gets it… by any means necessary. First things first, I need to disinfect my neck. Tearing open the wipe package, I gingerly take the disinfectant wipe out and run it over the contaminated area a few times.

Taking a deep breath I relish the scent of rubbing alcohol wafting from my wipe. It smells so clean, so fresh…

Once I'm satisfied, I place the used wipes back in its foil wrapper and toss it in the nearby trash can. To finish up the job I pour a glob of hand sanitizer, the one with the exfoliating bits, into my palm. Rubbing my two palms together I take pleasure in feeling the wetness evaporate and again I take time to appreciate its sanitizing aroma. Now I feel whole again. Turning to glare at Emmett, I am greeted with his not so subtle snickering. Asshole, it was your fault.

"Glad I amuse you. Now what the hell do you want?"

"Easy there Eddie. Rosie and I were just talking about you the other day, and dude, you have your nose stuck so far into your books that you miss out on all the fun! You're in college, and all you do is waste your day away in your dorm!"

"Emmett, it's not like I sit there and do nothing," I sigh.

"Yeah, I get it I really do, but you need to enjoy your life. When's the last time someones'd your d?"

"S'd my d? What the hell does that mean? "

"It's the subtle way us cool kids say sucked your dick."

"How is that any of your business?"

"Well it's scientifically proven that oral sex improves the quality of life, and can remove any stick no matter how firmly it is planted up someone's ass."

"How informative," I mention with sarcasm. "Unfortunately Emmett, I'm busy tonight. I'm working on my paper. If I get it out of the way now, it'll free up my time later."

"To do what? Dude, all of your free time consists of you hanging around the dorm all day. You don't do shit else! Maybe this would probably be a different conversation if you were actually getting laid all those times, but you weren't! Do you realize hairstyles have changed since the last time you last got any?"

Seriously, it has not been that long. I really resent Emmett for his exaggeration. Okay, so MAYBE it's been a little while. It might've been… two or three Christmas' ago. Or maybe longer… shit, I think there might've been different hairstyles back then. How did I go that long without sex? I look over at Emmett with that shit eating grin he has plastered on his face and roll my eyes. He knows I'm going to cave in. I always do unfortunately.

"You know what? I'm too tired to argue with you because in the end I know that you'll get your way. So, what do you want me to do?" I respond sounding defeated.

The mischevious grin on Emmett's face says it all.

Of course, we're going to a gay club.

- [ mMm ] -


The steady buzz of the needle is the only thing that's keeping me grounded. Every year the shop gets incredibly busy around this time. As the weather gets warmer, more people want to get tattoos so that they can show them off as they wear fewer clothes. Day after day I've been doing the same tattoos over and over again: butterflies, tribal tattoos, peace signs, words of love, and Chinese symbols.

Don't get me wrong, I fucking love my job. Being a tattoo artist was my dream. I am able to create beautiful masterpieces using people as my canvases. Sometimes they come in with an exact design of what they want, and other times they give me a general idea; allowing me to create something unique and special for them. Once I'm done for the day I get to walk away knowing that I've left a permanent mark of my artistic expression on someone else. They, in turn, become walking billboards for the shop and the cycle continues.

Even though I enjoy my job I do need a break now and again. Especially when I'm forced to do repeats of the same designs.

The shop, which I named 'Piercings, Tatts, and All That Jazz', is owned by me. The parlor feels more like a family though, since I hired three of my best friends to help me run it. Peter, who I've known for seven years now, is solely in charge of piercings. He has that shit mastered; he can do the scariest piercings as quickly and painlessly as possible. In fact, he was the only person I trusted with my… uh… never mind. Alice and I are the ones that do the tattooing. I've been friends with her since I was in diapers, as we grew up she always told me that one day I'll make my dreams come true and own a shop. I doubted her freaky little psychic ass back then, but after I've gotten 'Piercings, Tatts, and All That Jazz' up and running I believed ever bit of information she tells me. Finally there is Bella; we kind of had an awkward beginning. Let's just say she was my first and last kiss with a girl. Anyway, she runs the front desk; scheduling appointments, dealing with customers, cleaning the store front.

"There you go ma'am, would you like to see it before I cover it up?" I ask the girl who was now the proud owner of a butterfly tramp stamp. She nods and made her way over to the full length mirror.

"Oh my god! This is so hot. Thanks!" she shouts as she makes her way back over to me. I smile at her and bandage her new ink. She then walks over to Bella up front to pay and get aftercare instructions.

I'm sitting in my chair swirling around when Peter calls my name.

"Whats up?" I ask him.

"You got any plans tonight?"

"Nope, whatcha have in mind?"

"I was thinking we should go clubbing, I kind of feel like dancing."

"That sounds a little gay dude," I laugh.

"It better be," he winks.

"Jasper you should go!" Alice pipes up.

"Just dance, it'll be okay, da da doo doo mmm!" Alice sings giving her best Lady Gaga impression.

"ALICE! Shut up!" I chuckle. Turning to Peter I say "Sure, sounds fun I'm in".

"I'm coming too!" Alice exclaims.

"Haha coming, coming like cuming!" Peter yells. I start cracking up. God, I love how immature my friends are, inserting inappropriate movie quotes in everyday conversation.

"It's great working in an environment filled with such professionalism," Alice mutters as she rolls her eyes. "Whatever you jackass, I'm still going to co-accompany you both to the club tonight, and Bella's co-will be joining me so I won't be the only one not getting any action". Her obvious attempt at trying to avoid saying the word 'come' is hilarious.

My three best friends, alcohol, and a dance floor full of half naked boys…

Tonight's going to be a good night.

- [ mMm ] -


"I still don't understand why you're choosing to take me to a gay club. Emmett, you're not even gay!" I say to Emmett as we walk a few blocks heading towards the entrance to the club Breaking Dawn. "You have no purpose there."

"Dude, you need a wingman."

"I most certainly do not," I snort as we approach the block the club is on.

Warily eyeing me Emmett replies, "Whatever, either way I'm going to be there. If you don't need my help, I'll just dance. Oooh I wanna dance with somebody! Oooh I wanna feel the heat with somebody!"

I watch him sing and dance all around me, while I continue walking towards the club shaking my head at this display. And he's the straight one?

"Should I call Rose and let her know she has some competition?" I chuckle as we approach the club standing behind a short line of half naked men waiting to gain entry inside.

"Can't a guy dance in a room full of dudes and sing Whitney Houston songs without his sexuality being questioned?"

I raise my eyebrows giving him the look.

"Whatever, let's go inside."

The bouncer in front of the club is a big guy. He looks like he could even take down Emmett in a fight and that's saying something. I think he is around 6'7 and as far as weight goes… I don't know I can't just look at a person and guess that. He was wearing black jeans and a tight black shirt that hugged his big beefy arms nicely. His hair was dark brown and he had deep brown eyes. He wasn't really my type; I'm more into guys with a lean swimmer's build…

But he was still gorgeous.

Approaching the front of the line, the bouncer gives us the once over, and tells us we can head inside.

Immediately I'm assaulted with the loud pulsing beat of the music. Looking at the dancing floor I'm hypnotized by the swaying hips of all the sweaty shirtless men. I'm on cloud nine.

"As your wingman for the night I suggest we start at the bar, instead of you standing here drooling."

I did start to drool a little bit. Shaking my head of my trance and well wiping the drool from the corner of my mouth, I glare over at Emmett and mutter "not my fucking wingman" and make my way over to the bar. Even after we find our seats I can't help but stare at the guys. Maybe it has been even longer than I thought. Emmett orders me some kind of drink and I down it without question.

After a couple more, I've got more than enough liquid courage as I salute Emmett and make my way out to the dance floor. All my reserved behavior vanishes as I rip my shirt off tucking in my back pocket. I'm surrounded by guys on all sides without a care in the world. I continue gyrating and grinding with random guys until nature calls. When the song ends I slip out of the crowd and head towards the bathroom, still checking out guys as I go. I'm having the time of my life tonight; I really have to remember to thank Emmett and Rose later.

Going into the restroom, I decide to go into one of the stalls instead of using a urinal.

It just feels right.

- [ mMm ] -


Besides the tattoo parlor, the club is my element.

Upon arriving with my friends we all bypass the bar and head to the dance floor. You can only resist sweaty shirtless guys for so long. Peter looks absolutely giddy. He seems like he needs this just as much as me. I turn to see Alice trying to convince Bella to dance; Bella pretty much has two left feet and hates dancing in public. This happens all the time, eventually Alice will get annoyed and get Bella drunk, and when Bella's drunk it's hard to get her to stop dancing.

I make eye contact with a sexy guy with long blonde hair. Well hello there. I smirk at him just enough to make my dimples show in order to set the bait to lure him over. His eyes widen with interest and he bites his lip. Hook, line, and sinker. Winking at him I nod my head directing him to come join me, and he does. With his back to my chest I wrap my arms around his waist and start to grind my hips into his ass following the pulsing of the beat. He waves his arms in the air as we continue to dance.

A few songs later I glance towards the bar and see Alice trying to get Bella to drink. I didn't want to miss it and I haven't had a drink yet so I thank the guy for the dance, kiss him on the cheek and make my way over to the bar.

"Alice why are you so adamant that I drink?" Bella asks.

"Why are you so stubborn and resist?" Alice retorts.

"Alice," Bella whines.

"Bella you won't be as nervous and you'll have much more fun this way," Alice responds trying her best to reassure her.

"Sure sure, like last time you got me drunk and left me to my own devices I ended up throwing my panties at the DJ!" Bella seethes.

"You did what?" I chuckle, "That's classic! Please Bella drink, if you don't do it for you do it for our entertainment! It'll be a good story to share with the grandkids!"

"Shut it Jasper, you're not helping!" Alice yells. "Come on Bella please, only a few shots, I can't have fun if you don't have fun," Alice pleads with her big blue puppy dog eyes accompanied with a pout. That fucking look gets her whatever she wants. Bella never stood a chance.

"Fine!" Bella resolves giving up an already losing battle. "You win this time."

We order a round of drinks and Peter eventually joins us with his new friend Emmett. The guy is apparently straight and immediately upon hearing that information Bella and Alice's eyes light up. I had to cover my laugh with a cough when he says he has a girlfriend.

"So what brings you here? Is this some secret life you lead?" Alice asks.

"No!" Emmett roars with a booming laugh. "My best friend needed a night out on the town, so I, being an amazing person, forced him to come here with me as his wingman."

"Sure… that's why you were alone dancing with me," Peter teases.

"Dude, I'm serious! After I got Eddie buzzed he ditched me to go dancing and I haven't seen him since. I wasn't going to sit at the bar all night, and I like to dance… so I did," Emmett explains.

"You sure are an interesting character Emmett," I smile. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll be right back."

The club is packed, so I had to squeeze between the crowds of people, not that I'm complaining, until I finally reach the bathroom. Going inside I decide to take a stall because I just want a minute to myself. In the stall, I push down the lid on the toilet so I could sit on top of it.

Glancing to my left I notice a hole in the wall placed waist height from the ground.

'All hale the glory hole' is written around it. I chuckle, this is classic.

- [ mMm ] -


Sitting in the bathroom stall wishing away my hard on, I catch my breath as some of the alcohol wears off. I look to my left and see a hole in the wall. What the hell?

I squint my eyes to read the writing around it.

'Put your cock inside for a surprise'

'Don't be a prude if you see a dick, suck it'

'I bet you're hard, give it a go'

'Can't pass up a free no strings attached blowjob'

The phrases haunt me as the liquid courage and my lack of a sex life helps me entertain the idea of sticking my dick in there. What? Am I really considering this as an option? Well what do you have to lose? My dick and my sanity just to name a few! What could possibly happen to your dick? Someone could bite it off or take a photo. I'm pretty sure it would be in safe hands… go ahead… do it… you like surprises…


Emmett always says I worry all the time, he says I never take risks. I don't even know if anyone is in there, but I'm going to do it! Jesus, if nobody's in there, I'm going to feel like an idiot! An idiot with his dick in a hole. Fucking Emmett… alright, okay, get in the zone Edward. Get… in… the zone. Popping open the button on my jeans I slowly pull down my zipper. I was about to reach in and pull my cock out when I remember…


I bet that hole is just a crusty cesspool of other people's jizz, spit, sweat, and other fluids I dare not think about. Am I really going to let that stop me? You bet your bottom dollar I am! If one of those germs lands on my dick, I'll completely freak out! What happened to taking risks? Ha! I'm taking a risk just being in this public bathroom. I mean, if only there was a way to disinfe… WAIT! Patting my back pocket, I let out a sigh of relief smiling knowingly. Good, I brought my mini sanitizing kit with me. Always be prepared.

I had spray hand sanitizer, I thought it would be easier to use in the club, and a few packs of wet wipes. Starting with the spray, I drenched the entire hole with spray, both on the inside and on my side of the wall. When it was up to my standards I opened up a few packs of wipes and began my mini cleaning spree.

Step One: Disinfect.

Step Two: Blowjob.


Out of the corner of my eye I notice some movement happening around said hole. Upon further inspection, it looks like whoever is on the other side is cleaning the damn thing. I can't help but laugh. This night just keeps getting better and better. I guess he was being considerate; I really wouldn't want to put my face near a nasty hole that who knows how many people have leaked on to.

Managing to stick a few of my fingers through the hole I wiggle them around hoping he will give me some of whatever he's cleaning with. I feel the weight of a package on my fingers and I pull them back through only to be met with three packs of wet wipes. Looks like I have a boy scout on my hands.

I tore open one pack, cleaning the area of wall surrounding the hole, and then threw the used contents into the side trash putting the remainder packages in my pocket for later use. Sitting there waiting for the guy to put his dick through, I could barely here him mumbling on the other side. I can't help but smile because he's probably nervous.

I'm going to give him the best blowjob of his life.


My mind relaxes a bit after he took some wet wipes to clean his side of the wall. I am ready for this. In order to be more comfortable I took off my shoes so I could take my jeans and my underwear off, then I put my shoes back on because I was not about to stand on this dirty floor in only a pair of socks… athlete's foot is not on my agenda.

I shake my shoulders and roll my neck to loosen myself up so as not to pull any muscles for this upcoming strenuous activity. Grabbing my dick I give it a few warm up pumps until it's almost painful and then slowly approach the hole. Edward, this is the beginning of the rest of your life, it's now or never. With one last breathe I get myself ready to insert it through the entrance. Fuck, I'm nervous. I should've had another drink. Shaking the nerves out of my hands, I place them up against the wall, bending my knees for leverage.

Ok, I'm ready.


Letting my curiosity take over, I raise an eyebrow as I watch closely through the opening at the other guy's strange movements. Who the hell is this guy? I chuckle quietly, looking down shaking my head. As I look back up, I nearly lose an eye from the enormous cock that invades the space, causing me to move my head out of the way. Well, well, what do we have here?

The eagle has landed.

To say that this guy has a beautiful cock is an understatement. It looks between 8 ½ to 9 inches of pure heaven. The head is a juicy plump mushroom shape that starts off the journey down towards its well toned shaft. Very nice. From what I can see of his pubes, they are nicely trimmed and lined to perfection. This guy doesn't know what he got himself into sticking that beauty through this hole. I'm about to blow his fucking mind.

Leaning in close, I stick my tongue out giving that plump head a nice lingering lick causing the guy to gasp from the contact. Smiling from his reaction, I slowly wrap my lips around the head, twirling my tongue around him as I suck out the pre-cum that began to trickle out of the slit. I can hear the guy panting and moaning while I lick my way down his shaft to the base, then back up to the head. He tastes amazing and his flavor causes my own dick to stir inside my jeans. Easy there, Jazzy Boy

Yeah, that's what I call my cock… long story.

I didn't forget about you. Just relax; I'm giving the performance of a lifetime here.

After I give the head a few more licks, I slowly suck my way down his shaft as my mouth molds to the shape of his dick.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…" the guy pants as I relax my throat and take him further down south, swallowing around his length for a much better suction. I then make a content humming sound knowing that the vibrations would ricochet around his cock making the sensation explosive for him.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" he shouts, causing me to jump slightly from the sound. He quickly gasps, I assume because he realizes how loud he shouted, and starts mumbling quietly, making it harder to hear his expressions of ecstasy. His voice, even through his incoherent panting, is rich and velvety smooth… but I want to hear more. Not being able to see his face for visual cues on my performance, I only have his cries of pleasure to rely on. Normally when dealing with glory holes, you pretty much never speak to the other person. It's like an unspoken rule to keep things as anonymous as possible. But you see I don't give a fuck about that shit. All I want is to hear this guy come undone for me without worrying about anything else. So I decide to fuck with him.

Sucking down a few more times, I smoothly remove his dick from my mouth with a loud pop. I hear him whimper from the loss. I smile, ready to give him that good ole southern charm.

"Do you know how incredible you taste?" I ask him seductively letting my southern accent come in full force. He remains quiet until I ghostly fan my minty hot breath over the head of his cock, causing him to moan from the sensation. I give him another lick before I proceed.

"Mmm… just like candy. I wonder just how many licks it'll take to get to your creamy center. Is it one?"

I lick from the base of the head to the slit causing him to use the lord's name in vain.

"Or maybe two?"

I twirl my tongue around the head as the sound of his moaning causes Jazzy Boy to jump begging for equal rights.

"How about three?"

I lick down his shaft and back sweetening the gesture further with a kiss to the head. He's making the sexiest noises almost breaking my resolve from crawling under the stall and fucking him 'till his voice runs raw. But I have other plans for him.

"Mmmm… the possibilities are endless. Do you want me to find out how many licks it'll take, sexy?"

He's breathing heavily as he hesitates to answer, either due to the excitement of the situation, the things I'm doing to him, or his anxiety over speaking to me, I'm not quite sure.

"Yes," he finally answers almost in a whisper. I figure he's nervous but I want him to relax and put all of his focus on me. I want to hear his sexy voice again.

"As you wish darlin', but before I go on, I'd like to play a game with you. Will you play my game baby?" I ask twirling my tongue around the head of his dick, making him hiss with pleasure.

"Wha… what d-do I… mmm … fuck… ha… have to do?" he asks trying to get his words out while enjoying what I'm doing to him.

"Alls you gotta to do is identify what I'm doing to you. You think you can do that for me?" I ask teasing the head and shaft of his dick with my tongue.

"H-how… JESUS… do I… do I do that?"

"Good question," I reply lightly grazing the head of his dick with my teeth. He hisses and cusses from the feeling, I smile and continue.

"I'm going to have you saying something for me out loud, identifying the feeling of what I'll be doing to your cock. Each movement I make will result in a count of one. I'll keep track of the amount of licks I give you, while you identify the feelings I want you to say out loud, until you to cum. Do you understand so far?"

"Um…" he sounds nervous as he tries to find the words to answer my question. "I… I… do but I can't get too loud in here. I mean we're in a public bathroom for crying out loud. Someone will hear me."

"No one will be the wiser, sexy," I assure him. "As of now you are mine, just focus on me and me alone. Clear everything else from your mind. I don't care who comes through that door, you are to only say what I want you to say. If you don't follow the rules, or mess up in anyway, then I'll stop completely and you'll have to handle that big problem all on your own and it'll be a shame to waste such a delicious cock. Besides, I'm sure my mouth can take you to heights you hand just can't. So what do you say? Are you ready for the trial run of my game?"

"Yes," he answers his voice thick with lust. "I'm ready."

"Alright," I tell him licking my lips with anticipation for the game. This guy has no idea the shit I'm going to have him say. He's about to see how an exhibitionist likes to get off, and the fact that I get to fuck with him in the process is a bonus. Getting close to that beautiful cock it's time to get this party started.

"When I do this to you…" I suck on the head of his cock making him breath heavy with arousal. "I want you to sing the lyrics to a Michael Jackson song."

This is a moment I wish I can see his face because I'm sure it's priceless.

"No I most certainly will not… do you seriously expect me to say that?" he asks sounding very uppity. Oh this is going to be fun.

"No I expect you to sing it. Don't you want to cum darlin'?" I counter trying to hold back a laugh. The fact that he seems to be on the snooty side, makes this all the more amusing. What can I say; I'm a kinky bastard. I get off on off the wall shit like this… especially when it's in a public place. Besides, I'm convinced he can say just about anything and make it sound like sex. "I plan on giving you the best blowjob of your life sexy and all I want is for you to let yourself go and play my little game. What do you say?"

I could hear mumbling going on as he battled with himself about whether or not he should do this. When he let out a sigh of resolve, I had to smile.

"Fine!" he shouts as I chuckle softly trying to hold it in. "I need to cum so I suppose I can play your game. Just… don't stop…"

"So as long as you follow the rules, I won't," I assure him allowing myself the pleasure of tasting him again. "Now that you're familiar with one move, here's another. When I do this to you…" I sucked all the way down to the base of his cock and back, causing him to let out a slew of cuss words. "Mmm yeah baby, I want you to swear out loud; don't be afraid to get creative. You ready for a trail run darlin'?"

"Yeeesss," he hisses lustfully from the contact. Just hearing him let himself go and give into my game, has me straining hard in my jeans, forcing me to undo the button and bring down the zipper, so I could reach down and let Jazzy Boy out to play.

"So fucking sexy," I huskily whisper giving Jazzy Boy a few tugs. "Let's do this. I want to hear you loud and clear. I know every Michael Jackson song known to man so I'll know if you're singing the wrong songs. Alright, let me hear you sexy."

I twirl my tongue around the head of his dick and suck on it deeply. Without hesitation, he began to sing… loudly… a little too loudly but that's ok. I didn't specify.

"The way you make me feel… Really turns me on… You got me knocked off my feet… My lonely days are gone…" he sings at the top of his lungs. I can't help but to smile around his dick at how well he follows instructions. Sucking on the head a few more times, I take the rest of his dick further down until it hits the back of my throat and then come back up.

"Shit cunt-punching ass fucks!" he shouts and then I suck on the head again. "I wanna rock with you… All night… Dance you into day… Sunlight… I wanna rock with you… All night… We're gonna dance the night away…"

Smiling around his dick, I can't help but admire his voice. This guy can sing… well as good as any other guy would when having their dick sucked through a hole in the wall. Holding on to Jazzy Boy, I give his dick a final kiss before I speak.

"You did wonderful, sexy. Now we're going to start this shit for real. You ready for me?"

"Yes!" he answers with desperation. "I'm ready for you. I'll say whatever you want just PLEASE don't stop… it's been so long… I need this… please…"

His cock looks painfully hard. I watch as pre-cum trickles out of the slit of his, now almost purplish, plump head. It aches for release. Tugging on Jazzy Boy, I conclude the trial run is over.

Let the games begin!


I can't believe I begged this guy like some bitch in heat. Where the hell did all my dignity disappear to? Did my pride decide to stay back at the dorms for tonight? I've lost all control of rationale the moment those wet hot lips wrapped around the head of my dick. The things he can do with his mouth are sinful. I didn't know he could get any better until I heard him speak and fuck me sideways, the guy's southern. That southern drawl saying all of those provocative things and the way he calls me "sexy" sent all that arousal straight to my cock.

If that wasn't bad enough, he decided to make what we're doing, a game… a very odd game. At first I thought it was absolutely ridiculous. I raised an eyebrow when he wanted me to sing Michael Jackson songs whenever he sucks on the head of my dick. That was completely out of the realm of possibilities I thought this so called game would require of me. The cursing I could understand but the singing… and Michael Jackson? Does this guy have some weird pop star fetish? I've never had such a bizarre request but I couldn't help but be intrigued by it. This is, by far, the wildest sexual moment of my life. It's so random… so out there that it's actually… well… kind of hot. Never have I been so aroused while singing the lyrics to 'The Way You Make Me Feel' as I received the sweetest suction from his mouth on my head. I may never think of another Michael Jackson song the same way again.

As I silently pray for this guy to finish what he started with my cock, my prayers are answered when I feel the guy's silky moistened tongue lick around the head of my dick, causing my eyes to roll back as I bit my bottom lip. The sound of the bathroom door opening, made me pause for a moment as I heard two guys in conversation make their ways toward the urinals. I don't want to draw any attention to myself but I'm not about to make this southern guy with the perfect mouth stop what he's doing all because I'm too much of a pussy to play his game while strangers are within hearing range. So I block out all other distractions and when I feel the familiar suction around the head of my dick, I know what I must do.

"There's something… about… you baby… That makes me want… to give it to you… I swear there's… Something… about… you baby…" I sing Michael Jackson's 'Keep it in the Closet' song loud and proud because there's no way I'm going to mess this up and let my dick down. I hear the guys stop mid- conversation as one of them sings along with me. Of course this is short lived when the southerner takes my whole dick down his throat, putting an end to my singing and letting a string of swears out of my mouth "Fuck off God damn cock sucking mother fuckers!"

I can feel the vibrations of the southerner's chuckling as the guy that was singing along let out a slew of profanity that made me a little frightened for my life. Thank goodness the other guy somehow manages to calm his friend down because the next thing I hear is the bathroom door opening and closing leaving only my voice being the one still shouting out cuss words at random. I shudder at the thought of the two men never even washing their hands upon leaving. That's just gross. Turning my attention back to the southerner, he slowly stops his movements and gently licks and sucks the sides of my shaft. He never gave me any instructions on what to say for this feeling so I let a few moans escape me while letting the sensation drive me closer to climax.

The bathroom door opens again and I can hear footsteps make its way towards the urinals. Once the sound of urinating diminishes, I then hear footsteps walk a little further away and then the sound of water hitting the porcelain sink. Good, he's washing his hands. At least this guy has some morals. After the water shuts off and I hear the sound of crinkling paper towels hitting the trash bag, I wait for the sound of the bathroom door opening to signal that the guy has left, but I never hear it. But what I do hear is the sound of my phone going off to the sound of, ironically, Janet Jackson's 'Nasty Boys'. There's only one person I programmed that ringtone for and I pray to God he isn't the guy that never left the bathroom.

"Eddie? There you are I've been looking all over for you."

I guess God only entitles one prayer answered per night. Anything more would just be greedy.

Emmett, of course, has to be standing in front of my stall at the most inappropriate time. I want to scream, yell, anything to get him to go but I can't. I'm playing a rather kinky and yet bizarre game with a southern God who is blowing my brains out in the most ridiculously delicious way possible. Emmett is going to have to go fuck himself.

"Eddie?" Emmett asks but I'm trying to block him out. I feel the familiar suction on the head of my dick and I can't ignore it.

"Just, leave me alone… leave me alone… leave me alone… leave me aloooone…" I sing hoping Emmett would take the hint but of course, he doesn't.

"Dude, I'm not going anywhere. I've been looking for you all night. I met this group of people and…"

Emmett is just going on and on about things I really don't care about right now. My southern God is working overtime on my cock and I fucking love… his mouth. I feel the familiar feeling of my dick going deep inside his throat and I have to acknowledge it.

"Fuck off cock sucking ass monkey dipshit! God fucking damn!"

"What the fuck is your problem?" Emmett asks defensively. "Don't start having a bitch fit with me. All those drinks probably fucked up your system. While you were probably getting saucy, I met a guy that I know would be perfect for you. He's medium built with curly blonde hair… totally your type. I think the guy I met Peter said his name was Jasper or something like that."

My attention quickly goes to the southern God when I feel him choking on my cock and then I unfortunately feel his lips separate from me. Funny, he never showed any signs of having a gag reflex.

"Ed, you ok in there?" Emmett asks thinking the choking was coming from me. When the choking stops, I began to see the door of my stall slightly bend towards me indicating that Emmett is now leaning his body against the door. He lets out a breath and continues. "I knew I shouldn't have let you out of my sight. If you stuck with me, your wingman, you could be getting your dick sucked right now instead of doing God knows what on the toilet."

If only he knew. I almost cry out in pleasure when I feel that perfect mouth wrap itself around the head of my dick once again. The way he is sucking on it causes my toes to tingle and my stomach to tighten as I sing the next song. I'm so close...

"You'll never make me stay… so take your weight off of me… I know your every move… so won't you just let me be… I've been here times before… but you were too blind to see… that you seduce every man… this time you won't seduce me…" I sing Michael Jackson's 'Dirty Diana' songbut once again Emmett takes it the wrong way. This guy knows every Janet Jackson and Whitney Houston song known to man but only knows TWO Michael Jackson songs. Where has he been?

"Now wait a minute, you gotta know I wasn't trying to come on to you, right? I wasn't offering to blow you, dipshit. I was just saying that I could've gotten someone else to do it. And since when do I seduce ANY man let alone every? Is this because you saw me dancing earlier? They were playing Fergie! You know how I get when they play her. I couldn't just NOT dance. And can I help it if I'm hot? I mean really Eddie sometimes…" Emmett is just going on and on but I eventually tune him out because my southern God is taking me down his throat quickly as I let the profanity fly.

"Fucking bitch ass! God damn mother fucking asshole cock whore…"

I'm at the brick of my orgasm and the feeling of the buildup is causing my eyes to tear up. So good… don't stop… I'm at the point of no return as he does a quick combination of movements that send me over the edge.

"Stop pressurin' me… just stop pressurin' me… stop pressurin'… Make… Me… Wanna… FUCK! SHIT! SHIT! OH MY FUCKING… FUCKING… GOD!" I shout as my orgasm erupts from my body and spill out my creamy goodness deep inside of my southern God's throat, milking me for everything I have.

"You know, I don't know what's gotten into you tonight but I'm going to leave you to figure it out. No more drinking for you. I'll be near the bar," he says as I hear him walk over to the bathroom door, opening it and leaving.

Now he decides to leave… just brilliant.


This was one of the most hilarious sex moments I've ever encountered. Now if this Boy Scout with the tasty cock didn't have me ready to bust a gasket with his music selections and Tourette's syndrome-like outbursts, his friend sure as hell did. The minute I heard him speak, I just knew he was the guy I met earlier through Peter. How he never picked up on the song lyrics was beyond me. I even almost choked to death when he mentioned my name.

Opening up one of the wet wipe packages, I clean up the jizz that spilled out of Jazzy Boy during my dual performance of jacking off while giving earth shattering blowjob. Once the used contents are thrown in the trash, I listen to the other guy mumbling to himself, probably wondering if I expect him to return the favor. He wouldn't know I took care of that problem myself. Besides, Jazzy Boy was having way too much fun with me giving to care about anything else. Once I put Jazzy Boy back in the cave, I zip and button up my jeans; making sure my clothes was intact, I leave the stall and head towards the sinks. After giving my hands and face a good soapy wash, I walk out of the bathroom with a Grinch-like smile as I head over to my crew and I watch them nursing a very pouty Emmett. Alice and Bella are on either side of him with their arms wrapped around his with their heads resting on his shoulders. Peter was off to the side flirting with some shirtless twink wearing rhinestone pasties. You sure can pick them Peter. As I get close, I hear the tail end of what Emmett is saying.

"…he just completely turned on me! I came here as his wingman but do you think he cares? No. He just tells me to fuck off. That's why I'm glad you all are here."

"Well where else would we be?" Alice coos trying to comfort him. "You just tell me and Bella all about it. What else did Eddie do to you?"

You have got to be shitting me.


He just left. I assumed he would've wanted me to return the favor but he just simply left. No, first he washed his hands and then he left. I smiled at the idea that he wasn't one of them. I hope he didn't take my hesitance as an indication that I didn't want to please him. I would've done it… eventually.

After I clean myself off and straighten out my clothes, I head out of the bathroom and look for Emmett. He was completely clueless to what I was doing in there and I know I threw him for a loop. Emmett can be a little sensitive at times. As I walk towards the bar, I spot him with two women on his arms and a curly blonde guy with his back facing me. Classic Emmett is over there venting to the nearest person who would listen. Heading over towards them, I stand next to the blonde while Emmett looks over at me and gives me the stink eye… yeah, real mature.

"I'm sorry Emmett for earlier. I was in the middle of something and I didn't mean what I said. Can we call a truce?" I ask hoping he could forget what happened earlier. It wasn't one of my finest moments.

He stares at me for what feels like an hour before his facial features soften and he starts to give me that dimpled smile he's so famous for.

"Ok, but let me introduce you to everyone," he says tilting his head at the woman on his right with short brown hair. "The pixie over here is name Alice. The other on my left is Bella, and the one standing next to you is the one I wanted you to meet, Jasper. Peter's around here somewhere."

I say my hellos to the women and then turn to the side to lay my eyes the most gorgeous guy I've seen in here by far. Jasper looks back at me with what I hope is the same admiration but I'm not quite sure. He's kind of looking at me as if I look familiar to him or something. I speak up first.

"It's nice to meet you Jasper. My name is Edward," I introduce myself, not sure if Emmett already had before I got here, and extend my hand for shaking.

Giving me a sexy smirk, he shakes my hand but says nothing. As I slowly took back my hand, a drunken guy bumps into me spilling his Scotch on my forearm.

"Oh for crying out loud," I grumble moving my arm away from my body.

"Wait, let me get you something for that," Jasper says as he digs in his pocket and pulls out a package of… wet wipes? My hero. "Here, let me clean that up."

He thoroughly wipes the Scotch off of my arm while looking directly in my eyes. Not only was this guy hot but his sexy southern accent brought on a sensation that went straight to my cock. Wait, southern accent? Wet wipes? No, it can't be. Suddenly on cue, Michael Jackson's Dirty Diana song comes on and then it all clicks to me as I watch Jasper and the smirk he has on his face getting wider with recognition. Holy shit it's him.

Oh my God, it's him. Jasper steps closer in front of me and I'm silently freaking out because it's really him. My southern God.

"Forty," he simply says but I think I didn't hear him right.

"Excuse me?" I ask.

"Forty," he repeats as he lean in closer towards me. I can feel his warm breath breezing over my ear. "That's how many licks it took for me to make you cum, Edward."

Okay, now I'm hard… again. He has me stuck on stupid long enough for him to reach in my pocket, pull out my phone and program what I believe is his number. He places my phone back in my pocket and leans in close again.

"Since you've played so well at my game earlier, I'd like for you to play another one. I've placed my number and address along with specific instructions for you to follow, all on your phone. You'll have, let's say forty minutes to be at my front door with everything in hand. It takes forty licks for you to cum; let's see if the same can be said for strokes," he says and then backs away, saying goodbye to his friends and giving me a wink before heading out of the club. Taking my phone out and looking at the instructions he left on my notepad, there was no doubt in my mind about whether or not I should play his game. With just thirty-five minutes to go, I look over at Emmett and give him a quick hug.

"Thanks for everything tonight, Emmett. I really appreciate it. On that note, I have to go. Don't wait up."

Before I could hear Emmett's protests, I was already halfway out of the club. Let's see, I have to get whip cream… chocolate… anal beads? Oh this is going to be the start of a beautiful relationship.

Like the story? Please let me know! Reviews are lovely and will receive responses! x