A/N: I'm a noob at Fan Fiction so bare with me through my first few ones. This was done out of randomness and boredom. Also I felt like expressing my opinions on Hidan couples. I will try to post a Fan Fiction everyday if I can!

Warning: Strong language! Mentions sex! Has KakuHi and slight HiTobi so that means YAOI! If you don't like it, don't read it! Also character bashing and couple bashing! Sorry if I bash your favorite Hidan couple! .

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Hidan or any other character I mention in here (or there would be men fucking like rabbits on Naruto) they belong to Masashi Kishimoto!

Why it should never be Hidan X…

Hidan X anyone outside of the Akatsuki

Hidan: What the fuck? I would never betray my Jashin-Sama by even touching one of those heathen goody goody two-shoes! You stupid dumbshits!

Hidan X Konan

Hidan: Do I look like a fucking straight man to you! Cause I'm fucking not! I'm fucking gay, you stupid motherfucking bitches! I fucking love cock!

Hidan X Deidara

Hidan: Eew! I would never want to touch puppet-boys fuck toy! And besides he's fucking retarded! A fucking blonde! I don't even think he's a natural and I don't want to find out!

Hidan X Pein

Hidan: That's just fucking nasty….

Hidan X Itachi

Hidan: He's fucking blind for Jashins' sake! I don't like blind people! Besides he's too fucking emotionless for me to like him! Seriously people, what the fuck is wrong with you dipshits?

Hidan X Sasori

Hidan: I don't want any fucking splinters up my fucking ass or in my fucking mouth! This pairing shouldn't even fucking exist!

Hidan X Kisame

Hidan: I fucking hate fucking fish! Unless I'm eating it and not in a fucking dirty fucking way!

Hidan X Zetsu

Hidan: … What. The. Fuck? He would fucking eat me, and not a fucking pleasurable fucking way either!

Hidan X Tobi

Hidan: I guess we could like fucking kiss or some shit like that, but only once! He's like a fucking kid, you can't go really far with him. Also I think he might be fucking mentally retarded, and I can't stand anyone fucking stupider than me!

Hidan X Sasuke

Hidan: Is he even a fucking part of this fucking organization? Cause if he is….. just fucking no.

Hidan X Kakuzu

Hidan: Now this is what I'm fucking talking about! He is a good fuck! Man, do I love this dude or what? He is amazing in bed, so fucking amazing! He's even gonna be with me my whole fucking life too! Not to mention he knows how to hurt me in all the right places ( ;)) Oh! And those fucking tentacles, fuck yeah! I could go on all fucking day talking about my miser sadistic! Yep, Kakuzu and I are fucking meant to fucking be!

The end!

After note: Sorry if I spelt anything wrong or offended you in any way!

Reviews are widely appreciated! Thanks for reading it!