The Methuselah Hunters

Lt. Commander Richie

Disclaimer: Doctor Who is property of BBC, Trinity Blood of Sunao Yoshida (may he rest in peace). It's their sandboxes full of toys, and while they're inside for lunch I'm the angry neighbor kid that jumps the fence and puts their action figures in compromising positions.

Warnings: Humor, completely made up jargon, an awful lot of running, the requisite 10/Rose flirting and spoilers for Trinity Blood up to but not into Know Faith/Silent Noise and Who up through but not surpassing "The Satan Pit". Disregards the timeline of the varying Great and Bountiful Human Empires because I am lazy. Contains 10 and Rose trussed up in artbook Trinity Blood uniforms (feel free to laugh and/or fangasm).

A/N: I am a bad person and I love it. I've also combined Firefly and Bleach before, though the internet is never seeing that. SO YES! Two of my favorite things, Trinity Blood being an old favorite and Doctor Who being a brand new one, combined into one thing! This will either end very well or very badly. Allons-y!

Story most likely best read on 3/4 or 1/2 page width.

Rose Tyler really hated heels at the moment. They were pretty for a quiet night out, and made her legs look plenty nice, but they were hell to run in. This she was finding out very quickly, cursing all the while.

The high-gloss white marble floors she was attempting to find purchase on weren't much better, especially when she attempted to take corners too fast.

She screamed as a bullet hit the floor next to her, shards of white marble flying into the air and leaving stinging spots on her arms and what parts of her legs were exposed. In one gloved hand she held a handful of white skirt and petticoat, keeping the massive amount of fabric out of the way as she booked it down the beautiful hallway of the Vatican she found herself in. In her other hand was one of the Doctor's, his firm grip pulling her along and keeping her steady as they ran.

"This is the Vatican in 3060?" The two took a corner faster than her heels could handle, and Rose skidded for a moment as she shouted. Another shot rang out, and more marble sprayed into the air as the bullet hit the floor where the blond had been a split second before. Before their pursuers could take aim again the duo were gone down the adjacent hallway, their footsteps loud in the surprisingly empty halls.

"Technically," the Doctor began, eyes searching for another exit as the yells of their pursuers got louder around the corner they had just turned, "it's the year 3065." He stopped still, eyebrows furrowing deeply as he took in the gold inlay of the white walls and the large columns that surrounded them on all sides. "Well, more like 3070. The human race lost quite a bit of time during Armageddon, and they're only just coming out of their Dark Ages. They'll figure out the discrepancy just in time for the First Great and Bountiful Human Empire, I think."

A bullet impacted the white marble column just next to his head, spraying shards of stone in every direction. The two companions ducked, his oddly somber black Converse with the gold laces getting enough purchase on the marble to start the two off running again. Rose, lacking anything better to do, hiked her massive skirt up a bit farther and dug the armored toes of her white high-heeled boots into the marble in hopes of getting better purchase. It seemed to do the trick, because the strength of the pull the Doctor was exerting on her arm seemed to lessen as she hit a pace slightly closer to his. With a bang a hole punched through the Time Lord's long black cloak, dangerously close to his arm. The two continued running, Rose risking a look behind her to see how close their pursuers were.

The impeccably-dressed Vatican guards behind them were continuing at a clipped pace, three rifles leveling at the escaping duo before firing simultaneously.

Rose let out something she refused to admit was a squeak as a hole matching the one in the Doctor's black cloak was punched in the white fabric of her wimple, dangerously close to her head.

The two took another corner at a breakneck pace, nearly toppling over on the slick marble before the Doctor spotted a door and ran straight towards it. It was a small affair designed to blend in with the rest of the hallway, the gold inlay and white paint only differing enough to make it noticeable to scrutiny. With all the urgency of a man being chased by more men with guns, he wrenched the door open and shoved Rose inside before following her in and shutting it behind them. In an instant his sonic screwdriver was out and in his hand, the lock of the door clicking closed just in time for the platoon of armed guards to run past with a thundering roar of yells and boots on marble. The noise in the hallway eventually petered down to silence, the din of the guards fading off into the distance as they turned another corner in hopes of catching their quarry. Together, Rose and the Doctor breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"This whole place is mad," Rose finally said. She dropped her long white skirt and let it swish around her ankles, using both hands instead to find a switch or pull cord to turn on a light.

"I wouldn't say that, more like justifiably paranoid." With a click the one swinging bulb overhead came on, throwing their surroundings into light and illuminating their current predicament. "Well," he amended, looking thoughtful, "justifiably paranoid and preemptively acting on it in a rather vexingly military fashion." Rose sat down on the lid of a five-gallon bucket and the Doctor did the same with a small wheeled stepladder, the two catching their breath from the sudden sprint they had been forced to do. All the running hadn't been made any better by the seemingly random pieces of armor that adorned their clothes, silver on her nun's habit and gold on his priestly cassock and cloak. Her breathing slowing, Rose began to fiddle with a superfluous-looking silver cord that attached to one of the buttons at her waist and ended in a strand of beads akin to a rosary with an ornate cross at the end. Neither half of the duo was particularly happy dressed as they were, but they had acknowledged the disguises as a necessary evil to see the inside of the Vatican without arousing too much suspicion.

Not that it had worked, unfortunately.

"Armored priests an' nuns, security that shoots first an' asks questions never, Armageddon-" Rose seemed to pause as her eyebrows knit together, a question in her eyes as she looked back up at the Doctor. He too was fiddling with the armor that seemed to hang off of every part of his outfit, though he was more interested in the rosary hanging from the armored bits at his neck and chest than the multitude of them that hung from his belts. "Y' don't think something's wrong here, yeah?"

"Nope." The Doctor popped the P at the end of the word, looking up at his blond companion from where he was still fiddling with the ornate gold cross at the end of the rosary at his neck. "This is exactly how it should be. It's actually rather fantastic, once you think about it! Most of the Earth is currently an uninhabitable wasteland and most of the world died during Armageddon, yet still human beings have managed to survive! You really don't know how to give up, do you?" Without waiting for Rose's response, he continued at a thousand miles an hour. "I mean, in just a few years you'll be creating the First Great and Bountiful Human Empire and space travel will be pioneered by Albion's scientists. With that opened up, the entire galaxy becomes your playground! Human beings reach for the stars for the first time in a thousand years and they find other cultures reaching back! It's brilliant!" Rose smiled, nodding along as the Time Lord continued to babble. She fiddled with her cufflinks for a moment as he spoke, waiting for him to finish on his own. When he didn't show any sign of stopping, she took it into her own hands.

"An' you jus' wanna stay in a broom cupboard the entire time?" The blonde's interjection made the Doctor stop short, a wide smile on his face as he stood up with a clicking of metal rosaries and armor and dusted off his long black cloak.

"No, I don't believe I do." With a flourish the Doctor pulled his sonic screwdriver from a pocket in his cloak, unlocking the door with a loud clunk and pushing it open to survey the large white hallway. It was deserted except for the two of them, and the duo made their way out of the broom closet before closing the door and heading in the opposite direction from the guards that had chased them. Cautiously they made their way to the next hallway junction, taking a moment to decide which way to go before choosing a hallway at random and continuing down it. Rose swished her skirts and then twirled several times, laughing as the skirt fanned out with a swoosh and then settled back down.

"Is this really what nuns wear in 3060?" Rose asked, carefully enunciating the year as she smiled widely. It was probably the third or fourth time she had asked, but the blond still didn't seem to believe it. "I feel like some kind'a warrior princess in all this armor an' this skirt, not a religious woman!" The Doctor offered one arm to her, gold armor on his forearm and large cuffs glinting in the hallway's lights as he smiled brightly.

"Quite right too, Dame Rose Marion Tyler." The blond in question grinned again, a hint of tongue sticking out between her teeth as she linked her arm with his and the two continued on their way. "Now! What part of the Vatican do you want to see first? We have successfully evaded capture and have the run of the entire place! Our disguises, such as they are, are flawless. Anywhere you want to go, we can get there!"

Rose looked genuinely thoughtful as the pair walked down the beautiful hallway, the faint and dull roar of far-off conversation adding a comforting background noise to the scenery. She took in that scenery, the ageless craftsmanship of the building around her, and shrugged.

"Those two nuns that got through the gates 'fore us were talkin' 'bout a special Mass tonight, the Pope's conductin' it for a couple foreign dignitaries. Y'think we could go see th' Pope?" The Doctor's attention focused towards the ceiling for a moment as they walked, and he made a great show of hemming and hawing over the suggestion before coming to his decision.

"Oh I don't see why not. Should be fun!" The two laughed for a moment before the Doctor looked thoughtful, eyebrows furrowing slightly as his vision shifted from the blond at his side to the floor and then back towards the ceiling before alighting on Rose once again. "If I remember correctly, 3065 means the 399th Pope of Rome. That would be…" The Doctor trailed off, an eyebrow rising in tandem with both of Rose's as she watched him shift through a myriad of facial expressions. He finally settled on his wide and manic smile, conveying happiness immeasurable at his realization. "Well that'd be Pope Alessandro XVIII! Brilliant!"

"What's so brilliant 'bout him?" Rose couldn't help but ask, and suddenly found both her hands held by the Time Lord next to her as they spun once in the hallway with their fingers laced together. The Doctor drew her in close with the momentum, as if he was about to tell her a massive secret.

"He's fifteen." Rose's eyes went wide at that, leaning in closer with a smile playing on her lips until their noses were just barely touching. The Doctor smiled back, the two of them just barely holding back laughter like they were wont to do.

"No!" Her voice was a conspiratorial whisper, full of unbridled excitement at the concept. "Y' lyin'!"

"It's true!" The Doctor jumped back, rosaries and armor clicking and tinkling together like a beanpole-shaped wind chime. "Cross my hearts an' hope to die!" He paused at that, reconsidering his words as Rose watched with a toothy smile breaking across her features. "Well maybe not die, wouldn't want that. Cross my hearts an' hope to- no, wouldn't want that either. Hmmm." Rose looked vastly amused at the spectacle before her, tongue sticking between her teeth as the Doctor's excitement became palpable.

"He's really-" she began, only to get cut off as the Doctor clapped his gloved hands together once and fixed her with a sudden and oddly somber look. The change in moods was drastic and surprising, but nothing out of the ordinary.

"Fifteen," he affirmed. "Most powerful man in the world an' he's fifteen years old." Immediately the somber look was gone, and he offered his arm to his blond companion once again with a smile. She took it and the two began walking, resuming their original course down the large white hallway. "Now!" The Doctor spoke again after a moment, a ball of energy if ever there was one as he wore his smile again. "That Mass isn't until tonight, an' there's probably two or three dozen different places I could show you between now and then that you will positively love. Shall we?" Rose smiled up at the Time Lord in response, giving a gentle tug on his arm as she stepped ahead of him.

"What're we waitin' for?" She asked, and the two laughed before continuing down the beautiful halls of the Vatican.

What am I even doing oh god what is this crossover it should never have been done

But I'm doing it anyway :D

Next update will be when I feel like it, which could very well be sometime next month. I want to finish the last two chapters before I really start posting like a madwoman. I doubt anyone will be reading this anyway, so it's not like I'll be updating for an audience.