Puella Magi Madoka in…
(Part the first?)
Everyday she dug.
Madoka the Mole they called her. Wiping away at the sweat beading on her brow, the pink-haired girl contemplated the rocks beneath her.
Brushing away debris, she picked up a strange, drill-shaped trinket.
"Ms. Tomoe! Ms. Tomo- EEEK!"
The note of panic was caused by said individual snapping a whip right in front of Madoka's nose. The pink-haired girl backpedaled hastily, nearly tripping and falling over herself. A face framed by blonde curls thrust itself in front of her own.
"Ma! Do! Ka!" Mami roared. "How many times have I asked you to call me Sis?"
Madoka sweatdropped. "Sorry, Ms… um, Sis."
"That's better," Mami said, nodding to herself in satisfaction. She looped the whip back into her belt. "So what's gotten you all worked up?"
Madoka presented her treasure. "Look what I found!"
Mami oooh'd in appreciation. Finding a piece of string from goodness knew where, the blonde threaded it through the hole at the base and then placed it around Madoka's head like a necklace. "There you go!" Giving the pink-haired girl a thumbs up, she added: "It suits you well!"
Madoka blushed. "Y-you think so?"
"I know so," Mami said triumphantly. "It's like your soul! A drill that will pierce the Heavens!"
Like usual when making such grandiose statements, Mami had thrust a single finger into the air and pointed it straight up. Madoka laughed nervously: Mami really would be a lot more popular if everyone and their molepig didn't think she was crazy from cave fumes.
Then the blonde said something that made Madoka want to flee for the closest tunnel and dig a kilometre straight down.
"Madoka! I have a plan!"
Ten minutes later…
"The last plan you had nearly broke your back," Madoka said, hopping from nervous foot to foot as she watched Mami gather her 'troops.' As far back as she remembered Mami was insanely charismatic but also just plain vanilla insane as well. This was probably why her troops for this particular endeavour were, well, molepigs. "Mami-"
"Sis," Mami corrected.
"Sis," Madoka said hurriedly. "What exactly is the plan?"
"I have it all figured out!" Mami exclaimed, looking very much like she had not figured it all out as she wrestled with one of the larger molepigs in a way that didn't appear particularly indicative of a plan. "Now don't ask questions."
"Ummm…" Madoka said nervously.
There should have been some logical reason that molepigs traveling in single file couldn't go straight up.
And yet it was happening.
"AHHHHHHHH-" Madoka screamed.
"FOR THE GREAT GURREN BRIGADE!"
Unfortunately, their ascent was checked by a man that called himself chief.
"How many times have I told you?" The chief was shouting, big potbelly swinging as he raged at the two of them.
Or more accurately, just Mami. The blonde's nose was bloodied and there was an ugly bruise forming over one of her eyes where the chief had hit her with his sheathed katana. Mami was staring fixedly at nothing.
"There is no surface!" The chief continued to rage. "There is no point in doing these trivial and idiotic things!"
Madoka knew Mami would reply and tried to stop her. All she managed was to restrain her friend from physically attacking the chief.
"Trivial? Trivial?" Mami roared, spittle flying. "I'll tell you what's trivial! A weak, pathetic lump of a man being king of a hole in the ground." Voice rising, the blonde pointed up again, despite her shackled wrists. "There is a surface! An entire world! And up there what you see is a blue sky-"
"Oh those stories again," the chief snarled back. "And what will you tell us next? Of creatures that walk upright that are taller than men and heavier than molepigs? Your father was a liar, your mother was a liar, they died liars and it's no surprise that their daughter is a-"
This time Madoka couldn't hold Mami back.
"Take that back," Mami hissed, grabbing onto his cape and jerking him a foot off the ground. "Take that-"
The chief hit her with the pommel of his sword. Mami's head whipped around before swinging right back. Her lip was bloodied and her voice had gone deadly soft.
"I said take that back."
"Mami," Madoka said tentatively. "You have to calm down-"
Mami let out a sigh and dropped the chief.
A little intimidated, the chief actually took a full step backwards when Mami let go of him. Blustering, he ordered: "Take her to the stockades! And Madoka, get back to work."
Madoka looked uncertainly between the two but Mami managed to regain control enough to smile.
"Go on, Madoka. Don't worry about me."
But Madoka did worry.
She would have been pleased to find just about anything: old bones from creatures that everyone (except Mami) agreed were too large to possibly exist, a rusted piece of metal, an interesting looking rock –
What she found instead was a face.
A huge, incredible face.
Drilling into the stockades from below was technically illegal, but Madoka was pretty sure Mami wouldn't tell on her.
"Ms. Tomoe, Ms. Tomoe – EEEEK!"
This time it wasn't a whip that elicited the scream but rather a tiny molepig that dropped from above and onto her head.
"Cute lil' guy isn't he?" Mami said proudly. Madoka found it more than slightly awkward that she had to talk to Mami from beneath her thighs and might have nodded her head or made some strangled noise of affirmative before hoisting herself out the hole. She returned the baby molepig to Mami and started removing the shackles.
"I've decided to name him Boota," Mami continued as if the jailbreak was completely expected. "Mostly because he dropped in between my br-"
Madoka's drill made a high-pitched squealing noise of metal on metal as she unintentionally dragged it along the shackles instead of drilling through.
"-and it's kind of appropriate, don't you think?"
Madoka laughed weakly as she finally broke through the shackles. "Sure."
"Why're you here anyway?" Mami asked, rubbing at her newly unshackled wrists. "Not that I'm complaining, but this is kinda illegal."
"I've got something to show you!" Madoka said, grinning.
Like the plan with the molepigs, this one was interrupted by a smug-looking chief.
Unlike the plan with the molepigs, the chief was interrupted by a giant metal face falling through the ceiling and nearly squashing him flat.
"GYAAAH!" Screamed the chief.
Sunlight streamed down from above. Madoka would have marvelled at it if she wasn't panicking internally almost as much as the chief.
"I'll be taking that," Mami said, grabbing the katana from the chief. She hefted it a few times before sliding it into her belt next to her whip.
Then, she drew the blade out, leaving the sheathe inside her belt.
Madoka got the distinct impression that the universe was telling her that she should be facefaulting.
"Hey! Ugly!" Mami yelled, brandishing her blade. "Pick on someone your own size!"
Yeah, there it was.
The giant face that was approximately fifty times taller and no doubt three or four hundred times heavier than the blonde turned around and stared at them. Madoka eeped. Mami continued to grin.
And then someone stole the show by shooting the big ugly in its teeth. It didn't do more than just knock it to the side a bit but when something weighed over a hundred tons staggered to the side, it was pretty impressive.
In the explosion of noise and sound caused by its stagger, someone managed to sneak up besides them unnoticed.
"Don't know why Sayaka has such a hero complex," the mystery woman snarled behind them. Madoka got the distinct impression of 'red' followed by a hand on her collar, thrusting her towards the nearest tunnel complex. From somewhere above, someone was still shooting.
"Come on idiots," the new arrival said, slapping them on the back and propelling them forwards, "follow me."
Madoka's introduction to 'Sayaka' was frankly a little frightening. An enraged, nearly frothing at the mouth teal-haired girl, she did not exactly give off the impression of mental stability.
"Are you guys suicidal?" Sayaka asked, brandishing a gun nearly as tall as she was. The redhead that had thrown them into the cave complex had a matching one on her back.
If Mami was intimidated she didn't let it show. "Not at all! Me and Madoka could've taken him."
Madoka highly doubted it.
Highly, highly doubted it.
The redhead's tone was dry. "Happy Sayaka? You saved another two idiots. For free. I'm sure they'll do great things for the gene pool. And we won't get fed."
"Oh shut up, moneygrubber," Sayaka replied testily, turning back to fire off a few more shots. "Come on, we have to get away."
Madoka was all over that plan.
Come to think of it…
"This way!" She said, getting to the nearest tunnel. "I've got something to show you!"
Down and down they went. Down deep enough that Madoka could show her big sis what she had wanted to. A giant face. Nowhere near the size of the big ugly upstairs but still sizable.
"We could sell this for so much money," the redhead said, sounding rapturous.
Sayaka looked at the face a great deal more dubiously but Mami seemed just as excited as Madoka felt.
"Two treasures in a single day!" The blonde exclaimed. "Madoka, this is awesome!"
"Isn't it just?" Madoka replied, enthused. She scrambled over the face and revealed a sort of seat-chair type deal within. "Mami! Why don't we use this to fight against the big ugly outside?"
"Oh good god," came Sayaka's contribution.
Kyouko looked slightly horrified and seemed to be talking about paint jobs and pristine ancient artefacts and 'inestimable' price ranges.
Mami was rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "No."
Madoka's spirits fell. That wasn't something she would have expected in a million years. "Huh?"
Mami slapped her on the back. Hard. "Who do you think you're talking to? A big sister doesn't steal from her younger sisters!" The blonde crossed her arms in an X. "That's a big no-no!"
"Bu-but- I can't-"
"What have I told you about saying 'can't'?" Mami asked. "There's no such thing! Kick logic and reason to the curb, Madoka! That's how we roll!"
"Huh?" Madoka squeaked.
"…right." Sayaka muttered, shaking her head. She turned to Madoka. "Kid, get out before-"
Mami grinned. "You're not ruining my lil' sis' debut on the big scene. In fact, I want you two to have front row seats."
Surely two trained mercenaries from the surface should have had the reaction time and skills to avoid getting pinned down by a single, untrained, slightly (or extremely) insane blonde.
And yet, both of them were clothelined into the mini-mech.
"Come on Madoka, squeeze in a little," Mami exclaimed jumping in behind them.
"I'm squeezing," Madoka managed to say. The little pink-haired pilot could barely breathe with three other occupants inside. Sayaka and Kyouko were making their displeasure felt with every sharp knee and elbow.
"Gerrof of us you shupid-"
"LET'S GO!" Mami yelled, pointing upwards again. "DO IT MADOKA! LET YOUR DRILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!"
And as improbable as it was…
Author's Notes: Oh I am evil. Still no Sayanara Zetsubou Sensei. Instead you get two thirds of the first episode of Gurren Lagann. You might see more of them in the future. Until then, wish them luck. :P
Alright, no more promises as what's coming next, whatever I finish goes up, I suppose. One Piece, Harry Potter, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, Inception, Mahou Sensei Negima, Firefly and Princess Bride are all currently in various stages of completion. Harry Potter and Mahou Sensei Negima are looking more and more like they're going to become much too long to justify putting them in a drabble collection, admittedly.